Reflecting on Season 5: Transformative Conversations and Milestones

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Music.

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Three two one welcome

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back to another episode of shit that goes on in

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our heads i am g-rex with my favorite partner in crime and now i'm dirty skittles

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i always try to recreate the original and now i am dirty remember and i was

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like oh i sound like I'm a film sex operator. Well, you do.

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But, you know, I'm okay with that because, you know, it keeps our listeners coming back, I guess.

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Because they don't come back to listen to my squealy little voice,

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okay? Because I sound 12 on a good day.

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Well, I mean, I don't know what kind of listeners we want if we want them to

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keep coming back only to hear my voice. Like, what does that say, you know?

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I have dirty skills. But look at us, bud. What season is it? What are we wrapping?

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And we're wrapping season five. It's wild. Yeah. Like it's wild.

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It's wild. And it's been an awesome season, right? So we celebrated our one-year anniversary.

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We hit 300 downloads. Crazy. We had a press release go out about the podcast.

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We launched our newsletter after a year. Yeah, it's been crazy.

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And we're booked with guests.

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Yeah. And every guest has like such amazing stories, right? and everybody's

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been vulnerable and open and...

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That's why I love this. And like, I've bought more books in the last,

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I don't know, year than I bought in like 20 years.

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Yeah, my library is very divided in like spicy audio books and then self-help

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section because all of our guests have been so amazing to either recommend something

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or to actually have created it themselves.

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So yeah, it's just been such an amazing season.

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I mean, you know, we started out with KK and Mercy, you know both on the sobriety

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path and you know just the resilience that both of them had and,

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you know self-love self-help you

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know all those things you know they're rolling it all up and you know and then

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I got to share my story yeah you asked asked me crazy questions that I wasn't

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ready for all right so I mean let's do the rundown right because I think to

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wrap up this season And then G-Rex and I want to kind of give, I don't know,

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some insight in what we learned recording it.

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So you already mentioned we had KK and Marcy.

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You did an episode. We had Andrew, Mari, Emma G, Nakoa, Heather, and Ruth.

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Right. Could you hear the paper? Is this ASMR?

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Yeah. Yeah, I had to make notes. I actually like hand wrote notes.

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I'm not as fancy with the, you know, you did some fancy shit.

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I did. I had like a format and everything. I was like, look.

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You know why? Because I'm ancient.

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And if I don't write shit down, I'm going to forget about it. Right?

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Like, don't ask me what color underwear I wore yesterday because I'm not going

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to be able to tell you. But you asked me something that happened 20 years ago.

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I'll be able to spiel that off like it's nobody's business. Yeah.

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Hey, you have a typewriter still? Fuck you. No. I'm just fucking with you.

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So, yeah, let's talk about KK. her journey with

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sobriety but what i don't know what lessons did you learn from that episode

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was there anything that you took away and you're carrying with you today yeah

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like is that you don't need alcohol to have a good time right and that you when

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you step away from something you have so much more clarity.

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Yeah, why the alcohol was great to help numb the pain, you know,

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coming off of that or coming off of a hangover, the pain's still going to be there, right?

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But now it's not numbed. And now you really need to think about it.

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So what I learned is that, you know, life's a journey, right?

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And that by making small adjustments to what we would be our normal,

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probably like change the way

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that we view our day-to-day yeah and

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for me listening to kk's episode it was more metaphorical kind of i mean maybe

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not metaphorical so she's her stepping away and into a life of sobriety there

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was one part where i remember learning like it was more than in that, right?

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Like she, you know, I mean, I knew of her, right?

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Like she was associated so much with like the party version of herself, right?

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And so stepping out of that and redefining who she was, one thing that I kind

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of learned from that is we all sort of do that with one thing or another.

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It doesn't necessarily have to be alcohol or your journey to sobriety,

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but if there is a certain lifestyle or something that you're associated with,

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we change as humans and we grow and we become something, a different version of ourselves.

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And how scary must that be to no longer be associated with that?

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You're redefining who you are to maybe that same group of friends.

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And you may lose friends and you may make new ones along that way,

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but it's it's such a strong and empowering story to listen to and I loved that

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like for me I was like damn I can totally understand what you're saying.

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Yeah. It was very empowering. Like the same group of friends I had in my 20s.

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I probably have nothing in common with them now, right? Because I've changed. I've grown.

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I've walked away from things that no longer... What's that word I'm looking

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for? See, here's another thing. I'm going to wake up at midnight and think of,

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oh, that was the question.

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And they add no value, right? And... Yeah, they serve their purpose.

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Like... Right. Yeah, you have chapters, I think, or seasons in life.

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And it could be filled with different people, you know? Yeah.

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This season's filled with you. It's awesome. This season.

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And shit that goes on in our heads. G-Rex is still hanging around dirty Skittles.

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That's my movie man voice. It kind of bleeds into what you were saying with Marcy.

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Marcy and KK were kind of talking about their trips or trips they didn't pay

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for them, but maybe they did. I don't know. But you know what I mean?

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Their journey into sorority. I felt and this is going to be weird so Marcy I'm

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sorry if you didn't feel this connection,

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but I felt so connected to Marcy oh yeah like I felt like I knew her or that I had known her before,

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I don't know why I don't know why and I still can't really pinpoint it she was

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just so vulnerable about her childhood and how that impacted her as an adult

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and then her struggles with sobriety as as an adult and like what her life is now.

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And I don't know, I just connected with her story so much.

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Yeah. And too, and you know, I've connected with her over social media and her,

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you know, her show wake up with Marcy.

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I mean, they talk about a lot of the same things that you and I talk about,

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except they do it in front of an audience.

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We do it over a microphone, which I'm completely fine with.

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Don't put us in front of a group of people. Yeah. Don't put us on camera. Thank you.

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But like I her story really resonated

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you know like with all the childhood stuff that

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she had to go through and has to just kind of pull herself up by

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the bootstraps and went on

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to go out and like make a difference and she makes a difference every day right

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she's so inspiring and so empowering and she's just like a good person right

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like yeah she her episode I was just like like looking at my notes and her episode,

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I remember coming to this realization at some point in my life,

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but like listening to Marcy too,

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she mentioned finding this time where like you recognize your parents as individuals, right?

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And not just your parent. And so some of the mistakes that they may have made,

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like, you know, in your upbringing.

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Were made because like they're an individual and they were going through their

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own type of shit and they're just doing their best or whatever that looks like

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for them is because of what they're going through.

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So it's just weird. It's a weird thing to like, as a child, look at your parent

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as an individual and not your mom or your dad, you know?

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It's very, I remember learning that on hers and thinking like,

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oh shit, I remember when that happened for me.

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Yeah so i it was you

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know both those episodes were so empowering and

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i loved how open and vulnerable they were

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yes you know and it's such a hard thing to talk about right like nobody wants

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to admit that they have a problem but they hard it's hard and they went out

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and they made a difference right not just for their own lives but for you know

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other people's lives too yeah i know,

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so awesome cheers to KKMRC good job yes and then that's my drums is that your

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drums like I don't hear them well because.

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No that's fine we don't need to do the drums I'm going to have our editor put

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a little drum sound in there,

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yeah because we got to talk to you next we got

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to re-interview meet G-Rex again

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who is G-Rex after a year and I said

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it then I'll say it again and do not cry because we have

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a lot more to talk about after your episode but just how

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proud I am of you because truly a year

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of growth and I know you're in such a good place now compared to where you were

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but I know you're still on your journey of healing and I just loved that like

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you mentioned we've got the year anniversary under our belt but But for me, more importantly,

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was a year anniversary to the day that changed your life forever and calling 988.

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And you actually being able to now celebrate a holiday in December and put up a tree.

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And I know that I keep saying that, but like, I just think like there's joy now in that time of year.

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And I think, oh, that's crazy. Like, I'm like, I love that for you. Yeah.

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And, you know, the fact that for two years now, you know, Valentine's Day has rolled around.

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And it's actually been a happy day. And I've felt joy and I felt love.

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And I have so much clarity now.

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And I'm glad that people see me as a story of hope.

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But, you know, I still get depressed. I just have different ways of dealing

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with it now. And I don't hold shit in anymore because, you know,

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we all know that once I found my voice, I can't shut the fuck up.

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So I have so much to be thankful for. But I'm going to say the podcast has helped me immensely.

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Like we were out there, we're making a difference every day.

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Every time somebody listens to one of our episodes, they're learning something new. Right.

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Live, love, laugh. and you know

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not all of our stories are funny or have

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any funny anecdotes in it but we're

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still learning and we're still thriving and you

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know i'm still trying to write my fucking book like if i

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could just get that middle if i could just get the middle chapter

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written i would be so much better maybe that means

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to come on its own time and that's

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what i'm thinking yeah you know that's something my therapist said too

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she's like when it'll come to you when it

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comes to you but you know it's a trauma block and you know it was a really difficult

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time in my life and I don't ever want to be that terrified again ever so maybe

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you're just maybe you need to give yourself some grace like maybe you're just

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not ready to write that chapter and there's nothing wrong with that,

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you'll get there I just want to get that shit out of my head so it's someplace

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else and like I said I said, if nobody reads my book, I'm completely fine with that.

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It will be full of the word fuck in it. So yeah, if you can't get past the word

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fuck, then don't read the book.

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Well, I'm looking forward to your next anniversary day.

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And see what other new memories you've made and what other new tools you've

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gotten. And maybe you will have started that chapter.

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Well, I have to thank you too, because I mentioned this on my episode that you

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take pictures of things that make you happy.

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And then when you're sad, you go back and look at them. I just did that this week.

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I was having a moment and I was like, I went to my folder and I looked at all

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the things that made me happy and I immediately felt better.

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So see, you're teaching me too. do i may not

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teach you jack shit but you're teaching me things so

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you know we're good you're teaching me stuff like real life skills

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like what type of deer food to put in my yard

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how to keep the spiders not

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being lit on fire because they're guarding my

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tomatoes no i'm just kidding obviously i mean

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selfishly i learn a

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lot from our guests and from you every time

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we record so i take notes like

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you see me writing shit down like just today like look at all these fucking post-its

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like i literally will take notes because if i can write it

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while i'm learning it then it like sticks so i'm

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one of those people can i teach you a lesson today it's the art of not giving

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a fuck okay and can you maybe not wait until you're 60 to learn that lesson

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i think there's some things that i don't give a fuck about okay good yeah i

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don't know i'm not at the all encompass all income come encompassing.

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Can you say that word? No, no, just zone down.

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Encompassing. I can't say that word. The general don't give a fuck.

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I haven't gotten there yet. There's specific.

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I don't give a fuck, but not the general. Okay.

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There we go. Okay. Andrew, can I tell you, so this is going to be like,

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I feel like this is a selfish thing to say again, and maybe it's not.

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Maybe this is something I'll have to work through in therapy.

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But Andrew's episode, his way of life and his philosophy of life and the what are you running from?

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What are you running to? Like all of that was very...

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Insightful and very new a new way of thinking for

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me right but one of my biggest I will never forget that

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episode is because I think Andrew is

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maybe the second guest that I've felt the

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most vulnerable with and I I don't

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even know if he specifically asked me a

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question about myself or if I like I feel like I

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might have revealed probably a little bit like oh I said something

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that like normally I would have kept to myself so like

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I was able to be vulnerable with Andrew and I like

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it was just in the moment like truly getting lost

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in the moment of speaking with somebody about that way of

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life and and the fear of failure and reframing

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that because not every failure is a failure sometimes failures

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are success and that was very meaningful to me

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because I'm I tend to not do shit if I'm

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afraid I'll fail at it that's a real big fear for

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me so I think that's why I felt so vulnerable with

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Andrew and I will never forget his episode like that will always stand

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out to me is i got to be vulnerable on that one you

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know you did and you know i'm so proud of you for

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being vulnerable because i know it's so different for

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me you're usually very guarded yes in person you're very guarded put you behind

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a mic not so much but in person very guarded i'm good at asking other people

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questions yeah we're gonna start to answer those you know what we're We're going

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to turn the tables because like in season six.

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I might have to like turn the table and ask you those crazy questions.

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Just saying. But one of the things that I learned from Andrew is not letting

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people rent space in my head, right? Or memories, things.

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I've been really good lately about pushing that shit out of my head.

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Because you don't get to live there rent-free. Right. You either have a mission,

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you have a vision, or it's something that's going to help me.

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If it's none of those, you don't get to make it up to my head.

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I got enough shit up there. as it is i don't need to add additional shit that's

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not going to be helpful to me.

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So yeah he i i loved his episode

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i love the fact that he lives in bermuda too yeah that was kind

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of cool just fucking cool dude after andrew

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we had mari yeah she oh my god she battled depression for 20 fucking years before

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they kind of figured out what was going on like what is wrong with our system

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you know what though in her episode or my tech my takeaway from that episode was that,

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therapy can look different it's not

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always like the clinical sense of sitting like laying

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on the couch and talking to a psychologist right like it can be in different

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forms and it just proves that different therapy works differently for different

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people right like nothing is ever going to be a one-size-fits-all right yeah

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yeah but that's what i gathered from it too is that you know.

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Person-on-person therapy may not work for you but you

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know don't give up because there's so many modalities out

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there now right that's that's you know you'll

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find something that works for you and like even for me i had

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to go through three therapists before i found the one that really clicked

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you gotta date your therapist it's not in the romantic sense

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but like speed date yeah yeah if they don't work

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for you keep it keep that shit moving bud but yeah

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and also just to add on like energy is different too

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so like i liked that whole thought of like different energies and energy healing

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and it was just a different way of clearing clear the air and like you know

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what life is too short to be in your head right talk to somebody do something.

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You know, even just like circling back to me, like I put in the work to get better.

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I could have sat around and still been depressed, but I didn't want to stay in that place anymore.

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Right. Because I was not happy. Right, man. I hear you. And then after Murray, we had Emma G.

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And I am still working on my song. That is my favorite, favorite thing.

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And as cheesy as it probably is going to sound, I was walking through Target

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and there was a mom and like a teenage daughter, right?

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And you could just, the energy, you could clearly see that these two were not

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having, they weren't their favorite person, right? That day.

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And I just remember looking at the daughter and she just looks so fucking miserable.

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And in my mind, I was like, God, I wonder what her song sounds like.

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And then I was like, God damn it.

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I was like oh shit but it's true like

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now what I loved about Emma's

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episode is it can be

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very difficult sometimes to find the right words

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to maybe not even difficult to

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find the right words it can be hard to be vulnerable and to

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speak and to share your feelings and emotions

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and just like a conversation like this right but

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the thought and the knowledge that sometimes it's

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easier to make that into a song and that

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she helps people tell their story

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through a song completely new way of thinking for me and I just thought yeah

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wow I wonder what my song would sound like right yeah I I keep working on the

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words to my song I can work on the words to my song but I can't finish a fucking

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chapter in my book but you know and I got her workbook

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I did get it. Yeah, I'm going to start that.

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Yeah, I just, I love what she does for the kids, right? And this tour that she's

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going to be doing and her speaking engagement, she's just...

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So much about her and I mean we could have spent like

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another hour with her and just learned

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more and more I mean now you know we

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have all these new friends that you know I want

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to see where they are in a year right I know the man Nakoa love Nakoa we were

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also guests on her podcast yes we were she's amazing she's amazing and she her

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when we recorded with her hearing how how her corporate job was causing,

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obviously, physical side effects, right?

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Like she was going through it and dedicating herself as a complete career woman.

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And then having to take a step back and really reevaluate what's important to her.

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That was really impactful for me because I tend to lose myself from my job and

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it can be very fucking stressful.

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No. Yeah. Really? I know you've been there. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

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Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But my takeaway from her was like,

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I need to really rethink some things and make life choices because I want to be around for my son.

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And so I did. I booked a doctor's appointment, a whole blood work.

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I'm making lifestyle changes because I want to be there for my child and I want

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to be there for myself and I want to show up for myself and take time for myself.

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So I owe that to Nakoa as being the inspiration behind pushing me towards that.

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Yeah, I loved her episode because, you know, now that I'm a year into my,

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you know, getting better, healing, getting better, healing, I am living my life by design, right?

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Like, I am so fucking fortunate.

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I really am. I work 30 hours a week. I get full benefits.

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The owners of my company that I work for now love the podcast.

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Podcast and then I get time to work on the podcast which is

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totally like my passion project and I love it right

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I am living really my best life and yeah

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my even my wife said she's like this is the happiest I've seen you in 20 years

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wow you know it took me to 60 early retirement going through a bunch of shit

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and then coming out on the other end but I mean man fucking lucky I'm so blessed Justin. So lucky.

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And you know, I get to do this with you and this is so much fun.

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I mean, like you said, we'd learn something in every single,

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literally, it's not even an exaggeration. We had Heather next.

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Yes. And I have to plug, I dude, I got to do it. I'm sorry, Heather,

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Heather, grace, skincare.com. I was literally looking it up.

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Besides the fundamentals. I want to share with everybody.

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That during, I ended up getting sick with COVID and I shared this with her and

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she got emotional on that episode, but her skincare was what I was doing as

00:23:35
self-care, self-love, being sick with COVID, right?

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Like I was fucking like, yeah, I'll say it. I was depressed.

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I'm in quarantine. I can't see my baby boy. My husband's out there doing God

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knows what in the house, right?

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Like fucking cutting down trees. I don't know what he's doing.

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And I was completely, you know, in quarantine feeling like shit because you

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have COVID and you you feel horrible and your body's achy and all this stuff.

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But every single night I remembered Heather's episode and just her journey of

00:24:03
accepting herself and loving herself and then turning her career like mindset

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into like her passion of skincare.

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And there was something about that, that I refused to go to bed without like

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washing my face with her stuff, putting the moisture and it sounds like a commercial

00:24:17
and I swear, I don't mean it to be, but that was what What I did was I used

00:24:21
her skincare because it's gentle and I fucking love it.

00:24:25
And that was my self-care every night. And I would think about her episode as

00:24:29
I was doing it. So that is so awesome.

00:24:32
So, you know, or my wife and I, we got some of the high-end salve that is the shit.

00:24:39
So we both have really bad arthritis in our knees.

00:24:42
I mean, really bad. So we take gummies, but I was trying to get away from those.

00:24:49
So now I use the salve and I have a THC CBD cream that I put on top of that.

00:24:55
I am telling you, within like five minutes, my knee feels so much better. That's awesome.

00:25:02
Her products are amazing. Her story is amazing. She was so vulnerable and so open with us.

00:25:09
And, you know, just everything that she went through. She left a career as,

00:25:15
you know, in the HR field and all of her passion.

00:25:18
And, you know, we didn't quit our careers.

00:25:23
You know, we still are following our passion.

00:25:26
But, you know, being vulnerable enough to like do that because,

00:25:29
you know, it takes a lot of work to do that.

00:25:32
It's not easy. It's not easy. And like for us, our mission really was never

00:25:37
about making money. It's just about, you know, sharing our journeys and,

00:25:40
you know, the stories of those people that have similar journeys.

00:25:45
But she just inspired us so much. And I love her products and I just love her as a person.

00:25:51
You know, we're friends on Instagram and, you know, she's just good people.

00:25:57
Yes. And then after Heather, our last one, Bruce. Bruce. Can I just...

00:26:06
Literally the most I think probably the episode I sweared the most in was Ruth,

00:26:13
Her story, holy shit. Look, here we go. This, where's he's going to be flying? I just can't.

00:26:20
Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say other than what I learned from

00:26:26
that is that it's important to advocate for yourself when you can find the words to do it.

00:26:33
When you know what's happening, when you're able to articulate,

00:26:36
when you find the right people that are there to help you, you gotta,

00:26:41
you need those people to be able to advocate for you.

00:26:43
When you can't do it yourself, like, her story just was mind-blowing to me.

00:26:49
It was. It needs to be a movie. It does need to be a movie. And her persistence, right?

00:26:54
Her follow-through, her, like, there is something wrong with me, fix me, right?

00:27:01
And just the fact she went through, like, three different doctors before somebody

00:27:04
could figure out the fuck was going on. But she didn't give up.

00:27:07
No. She gave up. She kept living life.

00:27:10
Right. She kept living life. And I mean, that's truly like the message here

00:27:14
is like, if it's not working for you, fucking find another doctor.

00:27:19
Find the thing that works for you. Because, you know, she turned her pain into

00:27:25
paintings and writing and her journey.

00:27:29
Her boundaries. Yes.

00:27:32
Yeah, she, it was, it's such a powerful season ender for us.

00:27:38
Yeah. And then you and I got to talk. i know

00:27:41
look at us look at us but like

00:27:45
there was just so many lessons learned in

00:27:48
this season right like everybody was

00:27:51
super vulnerable you know hard on

00:27:54
their sleeves and just shared their stories shared their

00:27:57
journeys their tips their tricks the tools that they use

00:28:00
to get past some of the worst crap that they've dealt

00:28:03
with right and being super

00:28:06
resilient right like if

00:28:08
i think when i think of resilience i think of ruth fuck me

00:28:11
and she went through some shit i know

00:28:15
i mean which you guys hear it if you haven't listened to it and you're listening

00:28:21
to this first go back listen to ruth but no i mean just thank you to each and

00:28:25
every guest that came on this season and being vulnerable with us sharing your

00:28:30
life story with our listeners teaching us about new new techniques,

00:28:34
encouraging just growth and passion.

00:28:37
And don't be afraid to make changes in your life.

00:28:39
And yeah, I mean, just thank you all for sending those messages out.

00:28:43
Yeah, thank you so much. It's been such a great season. Season six is turning

00:28:49
out to be an amazing season.

00:28:51
Then season seven, season eight, we're booked.

00:28:56
We're booked for recordings for a while.

00:28:59
So as we wrap up this one, where do you see us in a year?

00:29:05
Okay, I'm going to put this out there and then you can go and freak out later on.

00:29:12
But we may end up being on like a syndicated show like iHeart or Spotify.

00:29:20
I don't really want to get to a video podcast because I like the anonymity that

00:29:26
we have behind the microphone.

00:29:27
If we did go to YouTube, I want us to be cartoonized because nobody needs to see this mug. All right.

00:29:34
Yeah, I look well, but you don't need to see me on a microphone.

00:29:37
Phone but i also see us going

00:29:40
back and revisiting some of our guests right like

00:29:43
i want to see where they are now like i'd love to

00:29:46
bring pez back on oh my god please let's bring pez we've been saying it for

00:29:50
so long yeah i want to bring pez back on i want to bring catman do back on right

00:29:57
like he is finishing up his first year of college like how the fuck did that

00:30:02
happen i don't know oh my gosh Gosh, yes.

00:30:06
All our kids are growing up. And if any of the listeners have any,

00:30:10
anybody you would want to hear back from again, let us know.

00:30:13
Yeah, let us know. Just, you know, shoot us an email. Our email and everything

00:30:17
is on our show notes. You can reach out to me on social media.

00:30:22
We love to hear from you guys. So let us know what you want to hear,

00:30:25
who you want to hear back from.

00:30:27
Yeah. And one last thank you to our listeners.

00:30:31
Yes. For supporting us. Thank you to our friends and our family who support

00:30:34
us, our mentors who reach out to us and text us every week just to see how is the podcast going?

00:30:39
Like, thank you guys for encouraging us to continue on what we think is fun,

00:30:46
but knew that would be helpful to others.

00:30:48
So just, we just want to thank you to all the listeners who find value in this.

00:30:52
Yeah, thank you so much. And, you know, we can't do this without you guys.

00:30:57
We learn as much as you guys do on these episodes.

00:31:01
Let's just continue to grow and let's keep normalizing how we talk about mental

00:31:06
health because it's such an important topic.

00:31:08
And if you know somebody that's struggling, have them call or text 988.

00:31:15
It's free. They don't require a name and they are so helpful.

00:31:20
I'm here today because of them. Good.

00:31:24
Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex.

00:31:29
And I'm Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast.

00:31:34
We'd love to listen to your feedback.

00:31:37
We can't do this without you guys.

00:31:41
Music.