In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Andrea, who shares her journey of overcoming job loss and finding new opportunities. From the initial shock of being laid off to the resilience and determination that led her to a fulfilling new role, Andrea's story is a testament to the power of perseverance and the importance of community support. Please tune in for practical advice, personal anecdotes, and a few laughs as we navigate the challenges of job searching and mental health together.
Episode Highlights:
- Introduction to Andrea and her journey (00:00:08)
- The importance of camaraderie in the workplace (00:05:45)
- Strategies for staying motivated during job searches (00:09:47)
- The role of community and support systems in overcoming challenges (00:13:24)
- Practical tips for job seekers (00:31:17)
- Maintaining mental health and self-care during tough times (00:34:36)
- The value of continuous learning and adapting to new environments (00:41:59)
Sponsor:
- This episode is being brought to you by Heather Grace Skincare - https://heathergraceskincare.com/
When purchasing, please use the code STGOIOH for a 10% discount for being a listener.
Call to Action:
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, reach out to the 988 crisis hotline. You can call, text, or chat with a counselor ready to listen and help—your mental health matters. Let's break the stigma and normalize seeking help. Remember, it's OK not to be OK—make sure you're talking to someone.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
Find A Helpline: https://findahelpline.com/
Connect with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles:
Official Website: https://www.goesoninourheads.net
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grex_and_dirtyskittles/
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Acknowledgments:
Audio Editing: By NJz Audio for top-notch sound quality.
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00:00:00
Music.
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Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes On In Our Heads,
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the podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health.
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That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles, and alongside my amazing co-host,
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D-Rex, we're here to share real stories and tips from our incredible guests.
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Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health,
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offering practical advice and heartfelt support.
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Because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma
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and build community of understanding and compassion.
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Tune in and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads.
00:00:43
Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Shit That Goes On In Our Heads.
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Today, we have an amazing guest, Andrea, and my lovely co-host, Dirty Skittles.
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Welcome, Andrea. Thank you. I appreciate your time and inviting me to the podcast.
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I have an amazing opportunity to share something that's really near and dear to my heart.
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Yeah. Love hears all ours. I cannot wait to hear.
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I was peeking at G-Rex's show notes earlier and I'm like, I cannot wait to dive in.
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So wherever you want to start, we're here to just ride along this journey with
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you. Excellent. Thank you.
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Sorry to have it in your ear. It's okay.
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That's all right. So I have fur on my mic, so it's okay too.
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I don't know what's going on.
00:01:31
So y'all have met before, right? How do you guys know each other? We, an amazing story.
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We were partners, friends, allies at our last company.
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And it was, you know, Gretchen is just such a warm and loving person that,
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you know, she comes up to you and she says, hi, I'm your best friend.
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And you're like, who are you?
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And it was at, I'll be honest with you, I met her. I knew her over the phone
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in, you know, group calls and so forth.
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I was in the training and development team at the company, and she was in the
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customer service area as an account manager. I think you were, right?
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As a support manager. Support manager, yes. So there was a lot of times where
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we would pick her brain and vice versa.
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She came up to me in new hire, and she goes, I'm Gretchen. And I was like, oops, sorry.
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You know what? We're so good with just using our real names if we have to.
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Because it takes forever to edit it out. G-Rex. I'm G-Rex. And I was like,
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oh, you're so cute. You're adorable.
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So, you know, we had a long conversation at New Hire, which it's really hard
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to do because there's so much going on at New Hire that we just,
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you know, and it was just from then on, it was like a very natural type.
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Hi, Gretchen. How are you? What's going on? And, you know, you may not talk
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to her for weeks or months or, you know, a quarter at a time,
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but you feel like you just talked to her and you can pick up the conversation where you left off.
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So I treasure those kinds of friendships. So I appreciate you very much, G-Rex.
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I think that this is just, you know, and I love the podcast.
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This is a great opportunity.
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Yeah. So you do this for everyone, G-Rex, because she did the same thing with me.
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But it wasn't that new hire. She came literally to my desk and kind of leaned
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in like that and was like, hi, I am so and I'm going to help you if you need anything.
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I'm right over there. And I was like, okay. Okay. And I loved that about our last company. I did.
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There was that camaraderie and that we're in it for us.
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There was no me. It was all we. And I loved that.
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And thankfully, when I was looking for my next good thing, that's what I held out for.
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And by the grace of god i
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found it and i tell my boss every
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day thank you so much for
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making me part of the family because i feel like i just i
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opened one door and went in and just
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felt like right at home so i'm learning a new
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product but you know my little brain is trying
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to keep up i have to feed the squirrels up there just
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get one of g-rex's bird feeders apparently the squirrels love
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eating off yeah not not even
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funny like I was I have never
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been so mad at a little squirrel than I was yesterday morning
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for the love of god really really
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I was so it was like when and when I got like
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a full like five minute video of him going to
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town on the bird feeder and he was like digging
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and he'd stand up on his feet and he'd like chew his.
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Little piece of corn i man when
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i had to so i had to go outside like i had
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to put my shoes on had to go outside i had to get up on the ladder i
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had to shoo him off he like flew like rocky the squirrel
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off the bird feeder and i
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had to fold up the ladder and i had to go move it back
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to where it said where i should have had it but he was super bold
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i'm like you i live on eight and a half
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acres i have a bazillion black walnut trees
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go eat that food don't eat this food i did not get this camera for you i know
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that you love showing off and everything but you need to go away oh that's hilarious
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that is hilarious so i have a question you mentioned that you have now found
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another employer that's kind of feeling
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that need of camaraderie and all of that. Why is that important, do you think?
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You know, I think it grows. Your brain just thrives on...
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Being a family and being a part of something bigger.
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And when you're just a cog in the wheel and you're just, you know,
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fulfilling, it doesn't, for me, it doesn't motivate me and it doesn't keep me interested.
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So when they said, hey, we need you to build this training department,
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you know, it's working, but it's not where we want it to be. I'm like, cool.
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I mean, I get to really kind of think about what I want to do and how I want
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to do it and the vendors I want to pick and all of this stuff.
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So it was like taking everything that I had learned for the last 10 years at
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Ultimate UKG and applying it by myself.
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I have a team of two and they are good and I love them, but it's okay.
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Well, we got to figure out how to do this.
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I don't know how to, we got to figure it out. But there is a road map.
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So for me, having that type of camaraderie and being able to go to even the
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founder and say, hey, I had an idea.
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That's exactly the way it was at Ultimate Software. I have an idea.
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Can we think about doing this? Well, you know, get back to me. What's ROI?
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How much is it going to cost? All of that.
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And then, you know, if it's a yes, it's a yes. If it's a no,
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then let's try it. This, no, and let's try it this way.
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Let's get something, but let's, you're on to something.
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And I find that here very easily at.
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At kinexus yeah yeah and
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it makes work not feel like work yeah exactly together
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yeah you know you and the the
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fact that you get to be creative and i'm
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such a creative thinker and an imaginer imagination imagineer that you know
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i can say hey what about this and then all of a sudden they're like oh tell
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me more and i'm like okay let me just let me wing it okay so so you know some
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of that Some of the times that gets me into,
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okay, you're on the project now. Go for it. And I'm like, ah.
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So, but, you know, and that is what kept me going when I was looking for a full-time role.
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I wanted something that would challenge me and not just, okay,
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I've done this and now I'm going to just go do it over here. I didn't want that.
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Because you'd already had that, right? You're like, I don't feel challenged.
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Yeah. And I loved every day. And my former boss and I talk quite often.
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I would say once a month, you know, ping each other. What do you call it?
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With the thumbs. Yeah. Texting.
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Starts with a T.
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Texting. And, you know, we check in on each other. And I love that because I
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feel like I'm still part of it.
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I text my team, my former team, almost every other day and say,
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hey, hey, look what I did.
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I wrote a blog a week ago and I was like, hey, read this blog.
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And they're like, holy crap, look at what you've done.
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This is amazing. So, you know, it really is,
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it's rewarding to take the things that I learned at UKG and apply them somewhere
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else because I feel like I,
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10 years ago, I was not in the training department and now I'm leading a training
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department and a support team and I love every minute of it.
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That's great that you, you, it's as rewarding as. But you know,
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one of the things that I was telling G-Rex is that when I started this journey
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of looking for a job, I was like lost.
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I didn't know where to start. I just knew that I had to go on LinkedIn and I
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had to go on the other one.
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I forget what it, I don't even remember now. Indeed. Indeed.
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See, I've got sunbrain. Let me tell you, The sun's at your like mental capacity to talk.
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So anyway, so that's all I did was like I went on and I just applied and I applied
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and I applied to over, I think it was at 870 resumes out the door before I found Kinexus.
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And within five minutes, maybe 35 minutes of me literally putting in my resume and,
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I had Kinexus on the phone and they were like, we want to talk to you.
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And I was like, what is happening?
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What is going on? And the conversation with the HR director and I was just like
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me talking to my former HR, you know, chief HRO.
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It was a chief people officer. It was amazing. It was just like a very candid
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conversation, very, very open, two-way dialogue, all of that.
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I was like, I think I found the next, no, this is it. So within three weeks,
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I was talking to the founder and the chief revenue officer, and we were making
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plans on how I could get in the door.
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And it was just amazing to me how fluid and how amazing it was.
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But the reason why I wanted to come on the podcast is that when I was looking
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for this job, and I did send out 800 resumes,
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870 resumes, and I sent out another 10 after my first initial call,
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because I was like, something's gone.
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I'm better safe than sorry. I'm going to send out some more,
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but they didn't, it felt wrong.
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And I felt like this is no, this is awful. And I probably looked at 15 jobs to send out one.
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And I was like, I, I, there's nothing in me. There's nothing left in the tank. I can't do this.
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And I want to work at Kinexus. So I made it happen.
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And they made it happen with me. And I just was like, it was,
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it was a match made in heaven.
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But when I was going down this journey, I kept seeing and hearing all my friends
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falling at the wayside. I can't do this anymore.
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I can't. And I would pick them up and I would say, yes, you can.
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You are strong. You've got this. You have a story to tell.
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So finish the story and then tell it after the story ends when you are back on your feet.
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But they were like, I'm going to lose my house. I'm going to lose my family.
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And I'm like, okay, I get it, but keep going. You've got to keep going.
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And they did. They started to tell their story and it made them feel better
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about, you know, okay, now I can keep going.
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And it was just, it was a community out there that really kept our...
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Spirits alive. I would check in on my friend, Molly.
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Molly would check in on me. I had a friend, Cynthia, who would absolutely every
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week, I would be out by my pool and she'd call me and she was like,
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what are you doing? What are you doing? How are you? What are you doing?
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And she had just gotten a job. And the minute she got a job, I was let go.
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And I was like, how did this happen and that the two of us are like carrying
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this journey on. I'm carrying your torch.
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She was like, I know. And it's bad out there. And I was like,
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so she would coach me. She would give me tips and I would use them.
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But, you know, the biggest reward was the people that I met.
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That were strangers that are now my friends, people that were willing to say, you know what?
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I know I'm working, but I'm going to step out and I'm going to talk to you because
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you need a friend. And I'm like, yeah, I need somebody to talk to.
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I need my spirit boosted.
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Your family is a big piece of that. And when they keep coming to you and say, how's the job search?
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And you sit there and you say, don't ask me that question.
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Everybody asks me that question. I don't want to be labeled as the girl with no job.
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I want to be labeled as the girl who is going to find her next thing.
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And I want to be a positive. And you asking me how it's going.
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Just I don't want to be labeled like that don't put me in that corner so you
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know and I was telling Gretchen I was like there's a story here what what's
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tea for you is a journey for me.
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So let me tell my journey and let me really focus on what it is that I want to accomplish.
00:13:58
And that is to be an advocate for people that are like, oh, I can't do this.
00:14:05
Yeah, you can. You absolutely can.
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And there are books out there and you could read the first book,
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you know, chapter or two and then, okay, I get it. I get it.
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I get it. But really where the heart comes from is talking to someone.
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You can read it all day long, but that book is never going to talk back to you.
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It will tell you things, but your friend will not, your book will not say, I love you, Andrea.
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You got this. This is easy. This what you've done hard.
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When I went up the mountain of Machu Picchu, my husband and my daughter,
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my husband and my daughter at the same time, they were on, we were on two different
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chats, I think at that point, but we had a third chat. going.
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But my husband said, you got this. And my daughter at the exact same time said, you've done hard.
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And that was the mantra that got me up that mountain and over the hill and back down on the other side.
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Four days later, that was my step was you got this, you've done hard,
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you've got this, you've done hard.
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And I used that when I had bad days and I would send out a resume.
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And I would send out 25 resumes in one day sometimes.
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I would send out no less than 10 a day.
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And it just got to the point where some days I would be like,
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not today. I'm not doing it today. I'll go.
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I became a docent at the zoo. So I had that deflection of energy where I could
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do something that I wanted to do.
00:15:37
It's not about looking for a job day in, day out, day in, day day out for five
00:15:42
days and then taking two days off.
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It's take it. If you want to go to the store, go to the damn store and get your
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milk and come back and then maybe send one more and then go watch some King
00:15:53
of the Hill and then come back.
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But don't sit there for eight hours. And I would do that, but I had the stamina
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some days, but then some days I'd be like, you know what?
00:16:02
It's 10 o'clock. I can't even go upstairs and look at my computer.
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I hate it. I hate my computer. I didn't get that.
00:16:08
But that's when I would sit back and talk to my friends and say,
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hey, you got a minute? I need some motivation.
00:16:15
I got one of those calls. That's how we, that's how you ended up on the podcast.
00:16:20
But like, I have a couple, like two questions, unless you have something dirty.
00:16:25
No, go for it. So like my first question is when you initially got laid off
00:16:30
and you had to come to the realization that now you need to go find a new job. Yep.
00:16:36
What were some of the, was there anything good that came out of that?
00:16:41
You know, the fact that, yeah, no, it wasn't all bad. None of it was bad.
00:16:45
Actually, I was, I did not feel anger.
00:16:48
I felt bad for my team because my team was left holding the bag.
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They had to do as much work. They had to produce more.
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They had less people and we were getting ready to open the floodgate.
00:17:04
So it was like, wait, you're going to do this with three less people and you're
00:17:09
going to expect more with less and produce bigger and better.
00:17:14
And I felt bad for them. And that's what made me cry.
00:17:18
That was like not the loss of the job, the loss of the family,
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the loss of the dynamic of seeing them every day and laughing every day,
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but also the fact that they had to carry my burden.
00:17:30
And I needed that. I absolutely, to this day, I can't think about,
00:17:35
you know, how much, and I know they've gotten smarter,
00:17:38
they're working smarter and probably working just as hard, but it still pained
00:17:45
me that I was not there to help them carry that torch.
00:17:49
And that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. That hits hard.
00:17:52
Yeah. That's why some days when I had a bad day, I was like,
00:17:59
Like, I didn't want to look for a job. I wanted to help them.
00:18:04
I wanted to be, I wanted to make a difference in their life.
00:18:08
And I know I had to make a difference in my life, but I also felt bad.
00:18:13
And I felt bad for my, you know, I talked to my former director all the time
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and I say, you know, I don't know how you did it.
00:18:20
I don't. You had to let three people go in the same day.
00:18:24
That has got to be debilitating. I've done it and I've done it for,
00:18:28
you know, my team, but I wasn't the one driving the boat.
00:18:32
And it was, to me, it was almost like, I don't know how she came back from that. I really don't.
00:18:38
And I'm glad she did. And it kind of turned her, it made her kind of think about,
00:18:45
all right, nobody's safe.
00:18:47
Nobody. buddy. And I got to the point where I was like, I want to be in a place where I'm safe.
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I'm driving the boat. Now I am driving the boat and I am making things happen
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and I want to make things happen.
00:18:59
So I'm glad I did. I'm glad it happened.
00:19:02
Now, what did you learn about yourself through this in the darkest of days when
00:19:08
you were just not feeling it to where you are now?
00:19:11
You know, I think how strong that drive is.
00:19:16
You know, I always said, you know, when you saw kind of the writing on the wall
00:19:21
before you were let go, you're like, I don't really, I don't think so.
00:19:27
And this, I'm talking about a prior job at another company.
00:19:30
I was like, I can't look for another job. I can't look and be at a 40-hour job
00:19:35
and then do the things that I want to do.
00:19:37
I just can't. But I think that having the determination to, you're right, it is a full-time job.
00:19:44
And I'm glad that it's such a hard question to answer.
00:19:51
I guess I was surprised at myself for being so resilient.
00:19:55
I thought I would, you know, I took a day and I was like, yeah,
00:19:59
I went through all the stages of grief and dying and all of that.
00:20:05
And I came out the other end and I had a lot of conversations with a lot of people.
00:20:11
So I think that what I also learned was that I know I don't like new environments
00:20:18
and talking to new people, but I learned how to do it.
00:20:23
I still don't like it. And I still, you know, my first day at Kinexus,
00:20:27
I was like, literally, I had to drive to Austin because that's where I'm based out of.
00:20:32
And it's about a 65 mile job. And the whole way down up, I was listening to
00:20:37
my favorite tunes because I knew I just had, I couldn't get into that space.
00:20:41
And I pulled into my parking space where I parked. I don't have a side parking space.
00:20:46
But I pulled in and I was like, oh, my God, this is going to be awful.
00:20:52
And I only met three people, probably four people.
00:20:55
So I really had to go in deep and learn how to engage with people I didn't know.
00:21:02
And my mom had told me many years ago, because I told her, she says,
00:21:07
what's one thing that you fear? And I was like, a room full of new people. She was like, why?
00:21:11
And I was like, not knowing anyone, it's awful. She goes, you know what?
00:21:17
Think of it this way. Think of it as they are privileged to know you.
00:21:23
Now go in the room. And I'm like, oh, my Lord, are you kidding me?
00:21:28
And it made such a difference.
00:21:30
The turning the tide of them, of me getting to know them. No,
00:21:35
they need, they get to know me.
00:21:37
Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I mean, I've been through something similar and there's
00:21:43
something you said that I was like, that's exactly how I felt where you're going
00:21:46
through these stages of grief after being laid off for the same reasons.
00:21:50
Like you don't want anybody to carry your burden and that feeling of guilt that
00:21:54
you're not there to kind of fight that fight with them. And I can totally relate to all of that.
00:21:59
So does that feeling ever go away? You know...
00:22:06
No, because I will reach out to my friends and I'll be like, how's it going?
00:22:11
And I know that they're doing very well, but the feeling of me saying,
00:22:17
oh, but I wish I could help you.
00:22:19
I wish there was something that I could do. But now I look at it as I have a brand new team.
00:22:25
Now I've got to take that energy and I've got to take that and say, what can I do to help you?
00:22:30
I know nothing about my new job. I know nothing, but I am learning.
00:22:34
But what can I do to help you?
00:22:37
Tell me. And maybe I have an idea. Maybe I'll throw something against the wall.
00:22:40
And it's like, I tell them all the time. I was like, this is just spaghetti.
00:22:43
I'm throwing spaghetti against the wall. Let's see if it sticks.
00:22:46
And if you've ever lived in New England, you would know that's how they tell,
00:22:50
find out if pasta is ready.
00:22:52
They throw it against the wall. And if it slides down, it's,
00:22:54
you know, if it doesn't stick, it's not ready.
00:22:58
So, and they looked at me and they're like, well, you don't know anything about this.
00:23:01
I was like, Like, yeah, but I've been around the block, you know,
00:23:03
and sometimes I'll say something and they'll be like, oh, okay,
00:23:06
well, that's a good idea. Well, I don't, yeah, okay.
00:23:09
I'll be like, I have no idea what I just said, but make it happen.
00:23:14
But you know, those same feelings you had, you know, when you got laid up,
00:23:19
the same thing happens to people that take a retirement and then go back to work.
00:23:24
Right. Because I did take the early retirement. Yep.
00:23:28
And I loved my team. I just didn't love a whole lot of other things.
00:23:33
So, you know, I still call dirty Skittles every day.
00:23:36
Like, I feel bad that there's, I hear the struggles and I feel bad that there's
00:23:41
nothing I can do except maybe make her laugh or tell a dumb story and hope to
00:23:46
God that, like, cheers her up a little bit.
00:23:49
But, you know, I had the same feeling when I went into my new job,
00:23:52
right? So I'm working as a part-time consultant.
00:23:55
And you all know me. I'm an extrovert.
00:23:58
Extrovert oh yeah I'm like super extroverted right so
00:24:01
it's a fully remote company and like I
00:24:05
just started introducing myself just like I did to the two
00:24:07
of you right I just started introducing myself and now
00:24:10
you know I check in I still check in on with people that I used to work with
00:24:15
you know yeah at the old company and I check in with people here at the new
00:24:18
company at least twice a week right it's all about connection yeah but you know
00:24:23
it's also good for my self-love and my self-care because it soothes that need
00:24:27
for my extrovertedness to talk to people.
00:24:30
I'm not good at not staying by myself.
00:24:33
Yeah. And, you know, I wasn't ready to take that early retirement.
00:24:37
I really didn't. I didn't want it. I thought the package was,
00:24:40
you know, kind of stupid.
00:24:43
But, you know, for some people it worked and for me it didn't.
00:24:46
And so and I talked to my husband, who is a financial advisor,
00:24:51
and I was like, what do you think? And he was like, this is for us. This is.
00:24:55
No it was like me too and i'm not ready to take it so
00:24:58
but that gave me the yellow light
00:25:01
warning of wait they're getting ready to get rid of all
00:25:04
their get they want this many people and they told us how many people right
00:25:08
gretchen they said we want x number of people or x percentage of people and
00:25:13
i and the one i think you even asked this what happens if you don't get that
00:25:17
and they were like well you know
00:25:19
we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it And I was like, wow,
00:25:24
this is, so, you know, it just, it got to the point where I was like,
00:25:31
I'm starting to see more and more.
00:25:33
And then the week that I was laid off, I was like, something doesn't smell like
00:25:37
a duck or walk like a duck.
00:25:39
And it's not talking like a duck. I think this is something's got something's
00:25:43
up. And then sure enough.
00:25:45
So when my boss pulled me in, I knew, you know, what was happening,
00:25:49
you know? And so I was like, okay.
00:25:52
But it was still, it was a shock. And it was just like, what now?
00:25:58
What? I'm not ready. What now? I was not mentally, I mean, I really wasn't mentally prepared.
00:26:04
And so I had to dig deep fast.
00:26:06
And I had to, thank goodness, I used my, one of my peers said,
00:26:11
let me give you my resume that I just paid $350 for.
00:26:15
And I was like, great, because I have no idea what I did. I really don't. I'm like numb.
00:26:19
I do not know. So I borrowed her resume and I crafted the best resume out there.
00:26:25
And Stephen Bartlett even says, there's nothing I can do to change his resume.
00:26:28
This is the best, most amazing resume.
00:26:30
I mean, I'm tooting my own horn, but time after time, recruiters would say,
00:26:35
oh my gosh, your resume is perfect.
00:26:38
And I'd be like, I know. no, I don't know how, but I did.
00:26:44
And I got to tell you, I use chat GPT a lot.
00:26:49
And I would, you know, I'd say how better to say, and then it would come back
00:26:53
and then I would massage that.
00:26:54
So it really helped having used all your tools is what I'm saying.
00:26:58
People use all your tools.
00:27:00
Don't just try to work on the internet or Google this or try,
00:27:04
you know, I am a, I am, I think it's wonderful.
00:27:09
So, you know, sometimes I will say, okay, why am I feeling this way?
00:27:13
Chat GPT, what should I be feeling?
00:27:16
And it'll say, I'm like, okay, well, I need to go talk to somebody that's stupid.
00:27:21
So I will pick up the phone and I will talk to somebody.
00:27:27
You mean the ai dude didn't
00:27:30
come out from your computer and give you a hug you know
00:27:33
i call my chat gpt chat the chat and
00:27:36
i will say chat tell me what i need to know and it's just you know it's kind
00:27:42
of funny because it builds on your character and it starts to really morph into
00:27:45
your writing voice so i i love it i i think it's you know whoever invented chat chat GPT is,
00:27:53
you know, in my book, you know, it may take over our lives and our world and
00:27:57
we may be working for the, but working for the robot.
00:28:02
Yeah. You know, but you know, I do love it.
00:28:05
And you know, I want to make sure that everyone out there, you know,
00:28:08
realizes that, yeah, you may be in a dark space and a dark place,
00:28:13
but there's always somebody that you can talk to and say, I just don't even say anything.
00:28:18
I just need to vent. I love my husband.
00:28:24
I tell him all the time, I'll say something. I was like, no, I wasn't asking you.
00:28:27
I was just needing somebody. I needed a pair of ears.
00:28:30
I don't need, no, I don't. Thank you. Good advice. But I just wanted to hear myself moan.
00:28:38
Or I want to just kind of hear it out loud.
00:28:41
And you'll be like, well, that's why wouldn't you want my advice?
00:28:44
And I'd be like, okay, give me your advice.
00:28:47
I'm going to go talk to the pillow. I'm going to go talk to Chet because Chet knows.
00:28:54
Chet knows all of your secrets.
00:28:58
For anybody who could or is going through this, do you have any like tips or
00:29:02
anything that you found particularly helpful?
00:29:05
Yes. Stephen Bart like gave me this. He said, it's not a job.
00:29:12
Looking for a job is not a job. It shouldn't be a job. So don't make it a job. Go do something.
00:29:18
And he gave me his examples. I go to the soup kitchen and then I go to Zumba
00:29:22
and then I don't even talk to anybody on whatever day it was.
00:29:26
And I was like, yeah, that's right. And I've already applied.
00:29:28
I had at that point applied to be a docent at the zoo. And I was like,
00:29:31
yeah, I don't know anything about zoos and I don't know anything about animals,
00:29:35
but I like looking around and I like looking at them. I like walking around
00:29:37
the zoo. So I'm just going to, I'm going to go volunteer.
00:29:40
So I did. And that really helped me because I met a few people that were just so lovely.
00:29:46
And we would just kind of goof around and we'd be like, oh, look, there's a capybara.
00:29:50
And we would tell people like the things that were on the sign that they could
00:29:54
read. But we made it sound so official.
00:29:57
But it made it fun and it made it interesting.
00:30:01
And then I would come home and I would eat lunch or I'd go do an errand and
00:30:05
come back and send out maybe eight or not.
00:30:09
And then the next day I'd be ready to go. And that's when I would crank out
00:30:12
15 resumes or 20 resumes.
00:30:15
And the other thing is when you're looking for a job, this is something that
00:30:20
women are very guilty of.
00:30:23
And that is don't consider, are you right for the job?
00:30:28
Consider I've checked these mini boxes off.
00:30:32
I'm going to send it and let them decide, is my background good for them?
00:30:38
And I got more interviews. Listen, I got about, I want to say,
00:30:43
I forget what the number is, but I will tell you that I had over 117 interviews in seven months.
00:30:53
And five of those, six of those, five or six of those were for Kinexus, my current company.
00:30:59
But I would go to final rounds with a lot of companies and it got to the point
00:31:04
where I would say, you know, this, so, or maybe they would say, no, this is okay.
00:31:10
But I really would go to the final rounds or they'd say, well, you're one of three.
00:31:14
And I got that so many times and it got to the point where I was like,
00:31:17
okay, well, I'm one of three. That's how many, and I would say hey,
00:31:20
how many resumes to do all the thousands?
00:31:21
That would give me a boost. I didn't get the job, but that would keep me going.
00:31:25
All right, well, I'm one of three. That means in probably nine more companies, I will be the one.
00:31:34
So it's kind of a numbers game, you know, and people say it's not a numbers game. It really is.
00:31:38
Get your resume out there. Do it. If you think it's an interesting job, okay, send it anyway.
00:31:45
If you don't even, you know what? but at least your resume is in their system.
00:31:50
I had a few people come back to me and say, you applied for this job,
00:31:53
but we really think, would you be interested in this job? And I'd be like, okay.
00:31:56
And I would use that interview time as a way to practice.
00:32:01
And it became better and better. And it really wasn't, Gretchen and Charlene,
00:32:05
it really wasn't until I was talking to Steven and I said, I'm doing something
00:32:10
wrong and I think I'm over-preparing.
00:32:12
I need to just cut out all the politics and just be me.
00:32:19
And I went into the next interview and I nailed it.
00:32:23
And I was like, that's it. That's what I did. And then the next company I got.
00:32:28
So I was up between two companies at the time I got this job and Kinexus knew it.
00:32:34
And I was like, you know, but I really want this job.
00:32:37
So I ended up getting an offer and I said, you know what? I want Kinexus.
00:32:42
That's what I want. And that's what I did.
00:32:45
Yeah. That's my biggest advice to my friends and family is like interviews.
00:32:51
Just I always approach it like it's a conversation. Yeah.
00:32:55
I'm getting to know them just as much as they're getting to know me.
00:32:57
It takes the pressure off of it. And I've had some of the best interviews and
00:33:02
conversations that way. Right.
00:33:04
Because if I over prepare, I'm nervous. Right.
00:33:06
Right. Yeah. You got to just be yourself. Be yourself.
00:33:09
You can learn about the company. And I would spend hours looking,
00:33:12
learning about the company. and they wouldn't ask me a question.
00:33:16
And I was like, well, you know, I could have been out by my pool paddling around,
00:33:21
but no, I had to learn about your company.
00:33:24
Yeah. If you prepare for it like it's a test, then I feel for me that mentality
00:33:29
that I could fail is there.
00:33:31
But if I approach it as a conversation, I'm just getting to know you. That is the key.
00:33:36
It's a conversation because you're going to be working with these people and
00:33:39
they want to get to know you, not the facts that you have in your head.
00:33:43
Right. You know, we can teach you. This is what I would always say to my rising stars.
00:33:48
We can teach you the product. We can't teach you the essential skills.
00:33:51
You have to come with that.
00:33:53
And I did not heed my own advice.
00:33:56
So true. So like during that time, like what kinds of things did you do for
00:34:01
like self-love and self-care? Were you taking care of your mental health?
00:34:04
Because there's a huge piece of that comes into play.
00:34:07
You know, I would make sure that I stuck to my sleeping schedule.
00:34:13
I would read books that had nothing to do with job search because I had to step away from it.
00:34:20
I made sure that if I didn't go to the zoo because it was too cold or too hot,
00:34:25
that I would do something.
00:34:26
I checked in on my mom.
00:34:29
You know, I took more time to be with her because, you know,
00:34:33
it was a way for me to kind of just step away, get out of my,
00:34:39
and I would not, I have a room upstairs stairs that I use as an office.
00:34:43
I would not come into this room and just play in this room. But this was my
00:34:47
job searching space. And that was kind of what it meant.
00:34:51
So for me to come back in here meant that I was pulling myself in and I had to step away from that.
00:34:57
I wouldn't come upstairs Friday and Saturday and Sunday.
00:35:00
I would just, or Friday afternoon, Saturday, Sunday, I would leave that from
00:35:04
Monday through Friday morning.
00:35:07
But, you know, I just, that was, the self-care was, and I.
00:35:12
Making a game. Oh, my God. I made a game out of the number of resumes that I would send in a day.
00:35:19
And I would color code them. I had a spreadsheet. I was doing my project management to the hilt.
00:35:25
I knew like green meant that I was going forward. I'd put it on the next page.
00:35:31
I would put in a column who I was talking to, the website, the names,
00:35:35
the passwords that I would use to get into to the, to the, all of that.
00:35:39
I made it a game and I made it to the point where my project management is now
00:35:43
something that I reflect on because I do work for a continuous improvement company.
00:35:48
And I said, you know what? I used this as a way for me to continue with my sharpening
00:35:55
of my lean skills, my leans and my six Sigma skills.
00:35:59
So I think that really helped me to, you know, Hey, I'm at, you know, 14% success rate.
00:36:07
Somebody reached out to me. Hey, I got an email that said I'm retaking.
00:36:10
Boom, I'm going to put it in gray. I love that. Put it in gray. So I made it a game.
00:36:17
I love that. This is so cool. And like, it's all like really practical tips
00:36:21
that people can use. Because you know what?
00:36:23
We all get into our heads when that's happened to us. We either have gotten
00:36:28
laid off, we got fired, or we rage quit.
00:36:31
Rage quit, yes. yes, I've done that, you know?
00:36:36
And then it's that day after, or those few minutes after, you're like,
00:36:40
fuck, what just happened?
00:36:42
But then if you can, you know, as we're, you know, we're all a little older,
00:36:47
so maybe for anybody in the younger crowd, like this is happening,
00:36:50
just take a step back, right?
00:36:53
Like take a step back, take a deep breath, don't react, okay?
00:36:57
Because reacting is like the worst thing you can, don't react,
00:37:00
just take back and have a moment to yourself.
00:37:04
And it could be an hour. It could be a day. It could be three days.
00:37:09
But take that step back and just take it in because it is a shock to your system.
00:37:14
It is. But also remember to like love yourself and care for yourself while you're
00:37:19
going through this. Yeah. Because...
00:37:22
I'm just going to tell you, adulting sucks. All right. So that's the worst part
00:37:26
of adulting right there. It's like, how am I going to get food on my table?
00:37:30
Yeah. So be good to yourself.
00:37:33
You know, write stuff down, journal, get outside, get into nature when it's
00:37:38
not 147 degrees outside or minus 30. You know, one of those things.
00:37:45
Find things that make you happy. Live for that moment. it.
00:37:50
Reflect on a tiny bit on what happened. But nine times out of 10,
00:37:54
when you get laid off, it is not your fault.
00:37:57
It's not your fault. And that was the biggest thing, what people would say, what did I do wrong?
00:38:03
And I would say, you didn't do anything wrong.
00:38:05
It was a business decision. And you have to appreciate that the company had
00:38:10
to do this or there was something. thing.
00:38:14
But I truly feel that companies don't purposefully say, you know what?
00:38:19
I'm going to lay off Andrea today.
00:38:21
I think I'm going to, I didn't like what she wore yesterday. I'm going to lay her off.
00:38:25
And it did, it just, you know, it, it's not your vision or your line of thinking
00:38:30
or your, in your game plan.
00:38:34
So you just have to accept it and move on, you know? And that was the biggest
00:38:37
thing my husband said. He was like, you know what?
00:38:39
It was on a Wednesday and he was like, take off the rest of the week.
00:38:42
And I was like, no, I got to find a job.
00:38:45
We're going to lose a house. And so he said, you know what? Then do.
00:38:51
Then go find, go create your resume, do it.
00:38:54
But do it and don't think about why it happened, that there's time for that.
00:39:00
And I was like, yeah, I know. And he was like, just, you know what?
00:39:03
Just breathe. We got this.
00:39:04
We got this. And we, you know, we've handled a lot of things.
00:39:07
We've been married 43 years, going on 44 next. Congratulations.
00:39:12
Thank you. Thank you. 2024. Yes. 44 years next in August.
00:39:17
And, you know, we've seen a lot. And so, you know, create yourself a partner.
00:39:23
I always, that was one thing that one of my former bosses, when I was in my
00:39:28
early twenties, would always say, create yourself a partner.
00:39:31
If you have something that you need to go through it with someone.
00:39:34
And I did, I made a a lot of partners this last time around.
00:39:38
But even when I make decisions at my current job, I'll say, hey,
00:39:42
let me run this by you or let me throw this at you.
00:39:44
I've got an email that I got to send out, but let me let you read it first.
00:39:47
And it's not a matter of me saying, I don't know what I'm doing.
00:39:50
I'm just like, I need a second set of eyes or even I'll throw it up to Chet
00:39:54
and Chet will say, no, don't send that. I was just going to say, did you ask Chet?
00:39:58
Chet is my good writing buddy.
00:40:00
But, you know, it's just, it's very interesting that, you know,
00:40:04
different perspective is really the mantra is, and I don't know how we got off on this, but.
00:40:10
I think it's really important that you don't go on this journey alone,
00:40:14
that you have, you know, you have people and you have people that love you and
00:40:19
they may say weird things and you'll say, okay, let's not talk about that right
00:40:24
now. Let's focus on this.
00:40:27
So you sometimes have to steer the conversation or you'll say,
00:40:31
okay, it's not about you right now. It's about me.
00:40:34
I'm talking about me and be selfish and be,
00:40:36
you know, like, let me call you tomorrow about you but
00:40:39
today is Andrea day I'm going
00:40:42
to talk about me I love that you're honest
00:40:45
about it though you know you're like I'm here and I'm gonna let you
00:40:48
know exactly what I need yeah that's huge yeah it is huge and it is it sets
00:40:52
expectations and it sets realities for people and they're like oh okay all right
00:40:57
yeah I mean hearing this story there's like a couple of themes right it's like Like,
00:41:05
I feel like when you get laid off, it's natural to feel alone.
00:41:09
But one of the things that I keep hearing is like finding your support system
00:41:13
and asking for whether it's help from someone or just somebody to vent to,
00:41:19
but like reaching out when you need to, because you're not alone. Yeah.
00:41:23
And you can get through. Yeah. I listened to a lot of Simon Sinek because I
00:41:26
love him and Adam Grant love him probably just as much.
00:41:30
But a lot of things, you know, right now I'm reading a book called Atomic Habit
00:41:35
by James Clear, and that is kind of the mantra of Kinexus.
00:41:38
And it really talks about taking tiny changes and expecting remarkable results
00:41:44
or making remarkable results for yourself.
00:41:47
But building good habits really starts the foundation of your growth and and
00:41:53
your eternal evolution.
00:41:55
And we never stop learning. One of the things that someone asked me,
00:42:00
they said, what are you learning?
00:42:02
And I was like, I'm learning that I don't want to learn. And I really don't want to learn.
00:42:05
And I'm really old and I don't want to learn anymore. My brain wants to just stop learning.
00:42:11
And she laughed at me. She was like, why?
00:42:15
And I was like, because I'm... And at the time I was like 50.
00:42:19
And I was like, because I'm 50 and I don't want to learn anymore.
00:42:21
And she just started laughing. She's 10 years younger than me.
00:42:24
She was like, oh my God, stop talking like that. I was like,
00:42:28
you're right. You're right. I need to keep learning. And I keep learning and I keep learning.
00:42:32
And, you know, I will call my mom sometimes. I'll be like, you know why tennis balls are yellow?
00:42:37
And she'll say no. And I'll be like, good. I get to teach you something today.
00:42:43
So, so it's, you know, even taking that little nugget of, you know,
00:42:46
why do squirrels not eat the black walnuts? Why do they want the bird seed?
00:42:53
There's a reason for that. You got to learn it and then you got to share it because it's funny.
00:42:58
You know, sometimes the anecdote is very funny. Yeah, because the food is free,
00:43:03
right? And I don't really have to work for it.
00:43:05
Yes. It's a ladder out. It was an invitation to enjoy. Right, right.
00:43:09
Why does my bird bite me all the time when I give him nothing but unconditional
00:43:14
love and free food and blueberries?
00:43:17
Who eats blueberries every day of their life? My bird.
00:43:20
Yes. And they're not cheap.
00:43:24
Why do they bite me? Why does he choose to bite me and not the blueberry?
00:43:28
I don't know. I think you need to ask Chet.
00:43:31
Yes, because Tiki will just say, I love you. He'll just say,
00:43:35
bye, I love you, bye-bye.
00:43:39
Like, no, you don't. I love this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
00:43:45
This will be so helpful because there are so many people out of work right now
00:43:50
that are looking for jobs.
00:43:52
And it's a pain in the ass. It is, but you have to keep your mental health in
00:43:56
check. You need to be able to talk to somebody.
00:43:59
You need self-care, self-love, and set up your boundaries because you know what?
00:44:05
Nobody needs drama while they're trying to find a job.
00:44:09
Right, right. Consider yourself a drama-free zone and keep that drama away.
00:44:14
I always, I'm like that. You know, my mantra, my husband and I's mantra is we're
00:44:20
in a drama-free zone own.
00:44:21
And we're pretty good about keeping drama away.
00:44:24
You know, every now and then it creeps in and we're like, let's go deal with this and let's do this.
00:44:29
But other than that, you know, just keeping yourself whole, keeping yourself
00:44:32
honest, being true to yourself and loving yourself and, you know,
00:44:37
saying it's okay to fall down. It's okay.
00:44:40
Get back up. Just don't wallow in it.
00:44:43
Don't just get up and keep going. Keep it going.
00:44:47
And you do amazing things and make it a habit.
00:44:50
It you know if you fall down just keep going fall back
00:44:53
up i love you too thank you
00:44:56
charlene and gretchen you guys are making a difference in the world and the
00:45:01
shit that goes on in our head i makes me laugh it makes me cry and i will say
00:45:05
that you are part of my journey when i drive up to austin once a week you are
00:45:10
a podcast that i do listen to and i throw it in there and i'm just Just like, oh, my goodness.
00:45:15
I love this. Oh, I will. All right. Love you, ladies. Love you.
00:45:20
All right. Have a good rest of your day.
00:45:23
Bye, y'all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex.
00:45:27
And I'm Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast.
00:45:32
We'd love to listen to your feedback.
00:45:35
We can't do this without you guys.
00:45:39
It's okay to be not okay.
00:45:41
Music.
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