Season 9 Recap: Burnout, Healing, and Taking Our Power Back

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[00:01:29] Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes Under Our Heads, the podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health. That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles, and alongside my amazing co-host, you, Rex, we are here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests. Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health, offering practical advice and heartfelt support.

[00:01:58] Because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion. Tune in, and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads. Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Shit That Goes On Our Heads. It's me and my amazing co-host, Dirty Skittles. And today we are doing our Season 9 recap.

[00:02:28] Woohoo! Woohoo! Oh, wow. How are we here? Yeah, I keep asking myself that. Like, we are 101 episodes in now. We have a million downloads. We won a couple awards. How does that happen? I don't know. I can still remember us. Episode 1. Never got aired. Don't even ask us where it is, because I don't even think we have it anymore.

[00:02:59] We said dick a lot of times. I think there was cocktails. There were cocktails. There were a lot of things, man. And like, to think like, next week's episode is so close to our two-year anniversary. Our two-year anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. Like, wow. Wow. Yeah. How did that happen?

[00:03:31] I don't know. I think there's a saying, isn't there? Time flies when you're having fun. I guess. Are you still having fun? Yeah. I'm having fun, but it's weird because it's like evolved. And I think it started to change a bit when we started to have guests. Yeah. And now it's become something. I feel like every, about every time we record with a new guest and we get to hear somebody else's story, it's more profound.

[00:04:00] You know, like it means more. Yeah. 100%. 100%. And I, you know, I know like this year there's a couple of episodes that you and I are just going to record ourselves. Yeah. Of just things that are going on and that people need to know about. And, you know, it's all about growing and learning and things that we've done. Right? That are super important. The shit that goes on in our heads. The shit that goes on in our heads.

[00:04:27] Like, by the time this airs, I'll open my company. Woohoo! Yeah. Can't believe that shit happened. Congrats. We need a soundboard. We do need a soundboard. You know what? Let me, let me reach out to my, our editor. Hey, can we get a soundboard? Woohoo! Yeah. Drum roll, whatever. But yeah, like this last season was so good. We had so many good guests. Yeah.

[00:04:55] Like, and like every one of them, I came back with like, wow, this, this can affect like my day-to-day life. Or shit that I was going through at the time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Like, I feel like the weighted x-ray blanket has come off. Yeah. Yeah. I have to tell you, and I don't know if you feel like this too.

[00:05:21] I felt like this season specifically, this is one that I remember feeling this way with. And it felt like all the stars were aligning, right? And like, we were receiving messages from our guests as they were needed. Like, we had so many guests that were literally tapping in. Like, it was like a parallel universe almost. Like, they're telling your story. And I was like, that's exactly what's happening to me right now. Right.

[00:05:51] Wild. It was wild. It was wild. And like, I got to take lessons that we learned from this season into like, opening my own company. Like, digging deep into myself and being like, you know what? We're going to roll with it and see what happens. And I've just seen like, so much growth in you too, as a person and your mindset. And it makes me so happy.

[00:06:21] Like, I missed the smiles. I missed the joy in you. And now I get to see that all over again. And that's kind of like raising a kid. You know what I mean? But like, in a good way. I mean, you're not, well, let's see. There's like a 20-year difference. Yeah, you could be my kid. But like, I'd be the best mom in the world. So it'd be okay. Be like, yeah, you go sit with your feelings. Have a good day.

[00:06:49] Let me know when you want to come out of the corner. Yeah, bye. That day I would still be a terror. I wouldn't be the best kid in the world. No, no, you wouldn't. Like, you didn't learn your life lessons yet. But it's okay, because we're still learning, right? Like, that's part of life is that you learn and you grow and you reinvent yourself. And like, I'm excited for me. But I'm more excited for you.

[00:07:20] Because like, the world is your oyster. And you get to open it up and see what's out there. And I'll never stop saying this. I'm so thankful to be alive. I really am. And I went from the very worst day in my life to this. Yeah. And so utterly thankful for you. You are truly my best friend. You're my confident.

[00:07:47] You make me laugh at shit I probably should never laugh at. What she means is, is I tell her stories about my misfortunes. That's absolutely hilarious. I do. Because like, some of them are fucking ridiculous. But, you know, just so fortunate. And so utterly thankful for you. And just hanging out with me. And, you know, you make me a better person every day.

[00:08:14] I just had like this weird flashback of when I met you for the first time and you were in the cubicle. I'm like, well. Never guessed we would be literally here on Zoom. Recording a podcast. What the fuck? What is life? What the fuck? What is life? What is life? You know, life is what you make it. And, you know, I think our goal for 2025 is do what brings us joy. Yeah.

[00:08:43] I want this to be the year that I do the things that bring me joy. Even if it's super fucking scary. And being super vulnerable. Yeah. And going to put ourselves out there. And, you know, yeah, there's going to be good days and bad days. But I'm excited because we're doing it for us. Yeah. So we're not doing it for anybody else. What have you learned this season from our guests? Let's start from the beginning.

[00:09:13] Who was guest number one for us? I'm going to say guest number. Well, it's a tie. But guest number one for me was Tasha or Asha. Because she helped me recognize that I was fucking burned out. Yeah. And that was fucking eye-opening. I'm like, that's what it is. I was burned out.

[00:09:38] And she helped me to figure out, like, some next steps I needed to take for myself. So that I could go find that joy. Yeah. Yeah. That was, like I mentioned, like, I feel like this season was, like, this weird parallel where people were saying things that I was going through in my own personal life. And that was how it started with Asha talking about burnout and specifically, like, workplace burnout.

[00:10:07] And I remember sitting across, talking to her and being like, how is this happening right now? And I have this resource, right? Like, it's a person who I'm speaking to about the things that I'm going through without necessarily, like, you know, me telling them my story. They were telling us their story. And I could relate 100%. Like, I'm like, oh, my God, that's me. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:34] And I think that was, that conversation helped trigger the things that we both needed for us to work on and find our joy. And get back to that mental health place that we were, like, a couple months prior. Yeah. And, you know, sitting with those feelings and then actioning upon them. Yeah. You know, it took me a couple of months to action upon that.

[00:11:03] But I'm so much happier. Yeah. I'm so much happier. Yeah. I like to think of, like, this season as my journey, right? So Asha, talk about burnout, advocating for yourself, which I never thought would be as hard as it has been, specifically with workplace. And then it led us to Andrea.

[00:11:26] And that was very interesting because then I'm like, okay, so now I know what it is that I'm going through, what I need to do, but how do I, what next, right? And her talking about, was it EFT? Yeah, it's EFT tapping, which is amazing. And I had never heard of it. So then I'm like, oh, so healing could be different. It doesn't have to be, you know, your therapy session, sitting across, laying on the couch, talking about your problems.

[00:11:56] You know what I mean? Like, it can look different. Yeah. It's like EFT. Like, you can do it sitting at your desk. You don't have to be sitting across from your therapist. It's something I incorporate into my day. And after her session, I started incorporating it more into my day so that when I felt myself getting stressed out, I knew how to kind of circle back outside of that. And, you know, it helped me build up some resilience, right? Like, I got this.

[00:12:26] But I had to start believing in myself. You know, years and years and years of people, like, dissing me. And I'm like, you know what? I don't need anybody else's permission to find my joy. Mm-hmm. And that made me so happy. And then we went from Andrea, we went to Jacqueline, and just all the crap that she went through. But, like... And how she's turned into something beautiful.

[00:12:54] Something so beautiful, right? You take the worst shit that's going on in your life, and she turned it into beautiful jewelry. And, like, a beautiful life. And she was so passionate about it and loved being on the show with us. And it made me also think about, you know, my creativity, right? What gets me going? What do I do for my creativity? Well, for me, it's writing.

[00:13:23] Like, I found that passion, and now I'm rewriting the last chapter of my book. Like, because I went from super dark to, fuck, open up a business. Let's just roll with it. But, like, that is my creativity, right? Is making things that make me feel happy. Yeah.

[00:13:46] The ability to be able to turn, like, pain or something dark and depressing that you're going through into art or something creative, I think is such a talent. And I will say I did get a piece of jewelry from her. It's a ring that I can spin whenever I'm feeling anxious. And I love it. So, shout out. Get yourself some. It works.

[00:14:11] Like, I literally wear it probably anytime I'm going out or if I have a trip or something. I've worn that ring and I've spun the shit out of that ring to the way where I'm like, oh, my God, is this going to literally just, like, wear down into nothing? No. It's beautiful. It looks cool. So, yeah. I love that. And it brings you just so much joy, right? Peace. Peace. It's like our own mindfulness, right?

[00:14:40] Like, I can't sit and do mindfulness because I have a little bit of adult onset ADHD. But if I can have something to fidget with, I'm so much better, right? So, my desk literally has, I don't know, like 20 fucking toys on it. But it's all stuff to keep my hands busy. So, like, if I'm on a call, I'll be playing with something in my hands because it helps me focus. Otherwise, I'm like, oh, a squirrel.

[00:15:11] Yeah. And then we had Will and recognizing our triggers. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Wow. I have to tell you, I was just upstairs having a little snickety snack before we started recording this. And I put that episode on. I haven't listened to the whole thing. And I'll tell you why.

[00:15:42] I, me being me, can hear it in my voice that I'm getting anxious listening to her and, like, talking. Because it was, like, tapping into, like, something very personal for me. Like, I'm like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. That probably was one of the, my favorite conversations that I've had only because I was going, I'm like, I was going through that.

[00:16:05] Like, that, like, I was like, I, this is at the time happening real time as we're speaking about it. And I could hear it in my voice during that recording. Like, I'm like, I don't think anybody else is going to pick up on it. But, bro, it was deep. It was deep. And for me, like, recognizing my triggers, right? So, like, when all the stuff went down in November. And this time, I actually spoke up about what was going on instead of hiding it away from everybody.

[00:16:36] And I was, I'm happy that I was able to recognize that trigger. And, you know. And not hide it. Not hide your emotions. And, you know, healing takes forever. You know, it's not, there's no easy button. That's exactly the thing. It's like, like, I remember talking about, like, oh, yeah, I went to therapy and I dealt with what. So, I don't know if everybody's like this. But, like, you think you know what your problem is. I'm not my problem.

[00:17:05] And then you believe you've addressed it. But knowing your triggers, it doesn't mean they're the same all the time. Right? Like, because life is different. Every day is a little bit different. And situations are going to be different. Yeah. You're going to have different triggers. And, like, you being able to speak about it when something is happening. That's huge. That's, like, powerful. Yeah. And, like, kudos to you, too. Right?

[00:17:34] Because you've done so much self-work the last couple of months. I'm so proud of you. Oh, yeah. You definitely have, yeah. You know. You know a lot more than what's on these episodes. But, yeah. It's, look, we're all humans, man. Yeah. We dig deep. We try and figure out what we can and cannot change. And the shit we can't change, you know, we work on different mechanisms to make it so that it's not paralyzing. Yep.

[00:18:03] Exactly. And then we had Krista. Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. Wow. The betrayal of it all. That was my note. Yeah. Betrayal. It was betrayal. And then having to pick up the pieces. Yeah. Putting 100% of yourself into something for it to just be not what you thought it was. Right. And to be crushed and heartbroken. I think I have a note.

[00:18:32] She was in that relationship for, like, nine years or something. Yeah. Man. Man. But, you know, like, with her, you know, like, you know, gut feelings. Right? We all get them. And 99% of the time, they're right. Yeah. Right? Like, go with your gut. Don't ever go with your heart. Go with what your gut's telling you. Like, if it's not right, it is not right.

[00:19:01] I know. And, you know, giving yourself permission to love yourself after going through something like that is so hard. But she came out of it on top. Yeah. Like, she's the happiest she's ever been now. And she kept moving. She kept moving forward. She didn't let it cripple her down. Yeah. And, you know, she's out there helping other moms with resources through her own podcast. And, you know, so authentic and genuine. And just the way she told her story.

[00:19:31] Like, I was mad at her ex-husband for being a dick. Normally, we're like, fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck him. Yeah. But, like, she dug deep and, like, crawled out of that. You know, I'm so thankful she had her parents in her circle to help her get through that. And it just reminds me of, like, the resilience that people have when they're in their deepest, darkest time. Yeah.

[00:20:00] Finding your support system. 100%. And then we had Karen. And her story made me cry. But in a good way. Because her love for her daughter. Yeah, love. Mm-hmm. Man, it made me think. You know, like, my mom was amazing. She was. She was an amazing mom. And she would have done anything for her kids.

[00:20:28] Just to make sure that we were safe and taken care of. And loved. Yeah. And security. Like, hearing her story and the way she would drop whatever was going on to be there for her daughter. It reminded me of, like, I was trying to put myself in her daughter's shoes when you're going through something so difficult and it's so dark. And you know that you have a parent who loves you.

[00:20:55] You may not be able to be in that mindset yet to accept the love. But knowing that if you needed them, they are there. I think not everybody has that. And so to have, to hear her story of being the parent that, the unconditional love and will be there. It was, I mean, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. And I'm thankful she had her faith to help carry her through that.

[00:21:23] I mean, you know, not everybody has, like, a God or a person that they believe in. I mean, for me, you know, I'm a recovering Catholic. But I have, you know, I have those glimmers. I do talk to somebody, like my spirit, my little spirit animal. Yeah.

[00:21:43] You know, and that's that spirit that kept me alive, you know, because when I made that call, there was that glimmer of hope that everything was going to turn out okay. Yeah. And those conversations I had in my head and just finding that love, you know, thankfully my wife was amazing during that period of time. So, yeah, I think if it's not faith, right?

[00:22:13] Like, everybody's different. I think what is important is having something to believe in, even if that is believing in yourself. I mean, we all shouldn't do that anyways. But I mean, having something there when, like, nothing else is, I think is huge. And as you were talking about that, I was thinking, well, how interesting it would be to think, you know, she's finding her strength and her faith and her daughter is finding her strength and her mom.

[00:22:43] Yep. That's cool. It's super cool. And then we had Pez. I love Pez. I love Pez. Pez is a little place in our house. We text all the time. We do. But, like, she, you know, she went through some shit. And she was so vulnerable. And, you know, to her, family is everything. And, you know, allowed herself to be, like, critical of her growth.

[00:23:10] But she sat with it and she just, she made me think about the safe spaces I have in my life. Yeah. And memories that brought me joy. Yeah. And it put a smile on my face. Because I'm really fortunate. Yeah. And I think that's great that you can see that. Like, that you're able to be grateful and show gratitude for what you have and, like, recognize that you have that. Especially considering, you know, where you were.

[00:23:41] Yeah. All the shit. Yeah. Yeah. We call it all the shit. All the shit. I was thinking of Pez. I didn't text. I don't know why I didn't text her this. In that episode, she was talking about, I think, and I hope I don't get this wrong, where her grandfather said some people need chapstick and some people need a glue stick. And I remember hearing that and thinking, like, just her love for her family and that safe space, right? So you said that then.

[00:24:08] I recently was at a family function that, ma'am, I'm going to be honest with you, I almost bailed on it. I was going to stay home. I, you know, in the deep pits of dark depression, didn't want to go anywhere. But I went to this family function and I was amongst my people, my safe space. And sometimes, you know, I think you can get really down on yourself and be your biggest critic.

[00:24:33] And especially when you're going through a tough time and think like, you know, I'm too loud or I'm too, I talk too much or I'm, you know, I over, I don't know, you get negative thoughts by yourself. And so I'm sitting at this family function and I remember looking around the table and seeing my family, who I feel very safe with, my mom's side of the family. And realizing we are family, like, we are acting the same way. We're just as loud as each other.

[00:25:02] We are almost one-upping each other in, like, sarcastic humor and dancing and singing. And I was like, oh. And I thought of Pez in that moment of like, oh, you have this safe space with the family you love. And how tough that must have been to mourn that loss of it all. So. And just crawling out of that, right? And remembering the good things and the memories. And, you know, when I think of my mom, that's what I hold on to, right? I hold on to those memories.

[00:25:31] And, you know, I pray every day that, you know, she's watching down on us and guiding us. And happy that, you know, I'm doing the thing that brings me joy. Yeah. So that makes me happy. And then we had Kathy. And Kathy literally, like, sealed the deal for me. Yeah. 100%.

[00:25:54] Like, her, what she's doing with promoting mental health in the workplace. Training. Yeah. Training is huge. Like, more than ever, we need that. And it made me reflect on to, like, things that had gone on in November and how workplaces could have done better to manage people's mental health.

[00:26:20] And with my, you know, with my new business, that's something I'm going to focus on. You know, I have 45 years of lived and worked experience. And I can tell you that every single time, companies don't do it right. And then they wonder why people with Asperger's or ADHD or some sort of mental health illness, why they check out, why they, they're not, why they leave. Right?

[00:26:46] Because they forget to look at the person and the people and they're more focused on the money and the business side. Yeah. There's, there's something to be said for, you know, companies seeking out that training, right? Like, the fact that she is able to provide that insight and that perspective to organizations is great.

[00:27:09] I, I do sometimes wonder, like, where, where could it, where does it go wrong for some organizations? And it does, it feels like, I get it, you're a company, you need money to be a company and to succeed. But I think from an employee level, I'm going to get all the way down to that level for human beings and you're breaking people to make money.

[00:27:38] There's got to be a balance. And there's got to be a balance. And like, sometimes they just don't care. And so, like, taking that, that training, not only to the C-suite, but trickling that down to the managers, the people that are on the floor. Huge, huge change maker, right? And I love that they have this thing in Australia called Are You Okay? And they make a big deal out of it in Australia.

[00:28:07] Like, we need to do that same thing here in the U.S., probably in other parts of the world, too. But they are giving these companies some awareness of, like, things to look out for. And like I said, this whole season, wow, it really struck a chord with me. Because we were both going through some shit, trying to figure out what our next steps were.

[00:28:37] And coming out to this and realizing some of those dreams and those hopes and those joys, I am telling you, 2025 is the year we take our power back. As individuals and as friends and as a podcast and everything. Yeah. And as a sneak peek for our listeners, we've started, we're two episodes in to 2025 that we reported. Yep.

[00:29:07] And it's definitely like this last season of the stars aligning and topics being discussed as they're happening in real life. That theme is continuing on so far. With some of the changes that are happening in our personal lives and ventures that we're, you know, doing as individuals. Like, I think it's interesting to hear that. I do believe what you just said.

[00:29:32] That 2025 is the year where we take our power back. We do. And the podcast isn't going anywhere. No. We are physically booked with guests until the end of August of this year. I almost started singing, but I held back. Please don't. Please. No. Please don't. Do not sing. No. We stopped that. Oh, my God. No. No, girl. No. Oh, my God.

[00:30:02] If you get up and start singing. Just FYI. You are. But I still love you. I still love you. But, you know, we are interested in hearing from you guys. And, you know, if you read the podcast or the show notes or the newsletter, we have an avenue for you guys to leave comments about the show. Yeah. What are we doing right? What are we doing wrong? Like, let us know who you want to hear from.

[00:30:28] We have a bunch of exciting, really amazing guests for 2025. And, like, I'm excited. I'm super excited for this year. I'm super excited for Dirty Skittles. Kind of getting out of her own comfort zone. Because I'm definitely getting in my own comfort zone. But thank you all for, you know, just tuning in and listening to us. And we still have our social media platforms.

[00:30:57] We have LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. We had to take the TikTok page down because, you know, we all know what happened there. We all know what happened there. But we also have our Discord channel. And I'm going to start putting that in our show notes. And if you guys want to engage there, please engage with me on Discord. We're going to have a lot more information about our guests there, some giveaways, things like that.

[00:31:26] And, you know, just a huge shout out to the two people that have been helping us with our social media and our website. They asked to remain nameless. So, you all know who you are. I appreciate everything you do. You all make us look smart. And I'm super excited. Thank you guys for everything. Thank you all. Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles.

[00:31:56] Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback. We can't do this without you guys. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.