Welcome back to Shit That Goes On In Our Heads," the 2024 People's Choice Podcast Award Winner for Health! In this episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit with Australian romance author Liv Arnold to explore the intersections of mental health, self-discovery, and romance. Liv shares how her journey started in Melbourne, her shift from finance to fiction, and mental health's role in her novels.
Meet Our Guest: Liv Arnold
Liv grew up in Melbourne, Australia, and after studying Arts/Commerce at Deakin University, she pursued her passion for writing at RMIT. Inspired by Enid Blyton's books, Liv now channels her creativity into romance novels published with The Wild Rose Press. With her loyal pup, Groot, by her side, she tackles themes like PTSD, anxiety, and societal stigmas around female sexuality in her novels Etched in Stone, Stepping Stone, and Law & Disorder. Liv's writing connects with readers by blending suspense, real-life challenges, and relatable character journeys.
Connect with Liv Arnold
- Website: https://www.livarnold.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livarnoldauthor
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/liv_au
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/liv_au
- BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/liv-arnold
Books by Liv Arnold
- Etched in Stone (Invested in You Book 1)
- Stepping Stone (Invested in You Book 2)
- Law & Disorder
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
1. The Power of Representation in Romance: Liv emphasizes the importance of tackling real-life mental health issues like PTSD and anxiety in romance novels, creating characters that readers can identify with.
2. Breaking Taboos and Embracing Female Sexuality: Liv discusses societal stigmas around female sexuality, sharing how her books encourage readers to embrace their desires without shame.
3. Lessons in Self-Care and Boundaries: Liv reflects on the importance of setting healthy boundaries and shares how these lessons inspire both her life and her character's growth.
Call to Action
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, please reach out to a local crisis hotline. It's OK not to be OK, and support is always available.
- United States: Call or Text -988 - https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
- Canada: 988 - Call or Text - https://988.ca/
- World Wide: https://findahelpline.com/
Connect with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
- Official Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shltthatgoesoninourheads
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grex_and_dirtyskittles/
Support Our Podcast
- Newsletter:https://sh-t-that-goes-on-in-our-heads.ck.page/profile
- Merch:https://www.goesoninourheads.shop
- Donate: https://donate.stripe.com/8wM4hy4js24y9b26oo
Advertise with Us
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Acknowledgments
Audio Editing by NJz Audio.
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#MentalHealthPodcast #LivArnold #Grex #Stgoioh #Dirtyskittles #2024PeoplesChoicePodcastAwardWinner #MentalHealthMatters #BreakingStigmas #PTSD #Anxiety #RomanceNovels #SelfCare #Boundaries
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Hey there listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes Under Our Heads, the
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podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health.
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That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles, and alongside my amazing co host, you
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Rex, we are here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests.
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Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health,
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offering practical advice and heartfelt support. Because no one should
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feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a
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community of understanding and compassion. Tune in, and let's
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start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads.
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3. 321. Welcome
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back to another episode of Shit That Goes On in Our Heads. I'm G
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Rex with my amazing cohost, Dirty Skittles. And today we
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have Liv. Welcome, Liv. I know it's super early where you're at.
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Welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I was looking
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forward to joining. Yay. I'm so happy that you're here, first of
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all, because it is so early, but I'm also really excited to hear your story.
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So with that being said, Liv, what do you wanna share with our
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listeners? Well, so I'm a
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romance author. I've written 3 books, Law and Disorder,
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Etch and Stone, and Stepping Stone. They're both
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they're all so the second the first one, Law and
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Disorder, it's about enemies to lovers type romance. All three
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books have a bit of spice, Etched in Stone and Stepping Stone. They're
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both really cool in the way that it's office romance and
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and I thought, but it's not only office romance, it has
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the romantic suspense, so financial crime elements as well.
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And all my books, I like to do relatable characters with real
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life challenges just so that people can relate to it. Like, for example,
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Stepping Stone, the main male character has PTSD
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and he so he has shows signs of it. And the main
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female character, she likes to explore her
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sexuality and I think that's often taboo in society especially
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for women. And so with the male main male character, since
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I have anxiety, I've incorporated some of those,
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maybe, I traits or symptoms into his character just
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hopefully so people will be more relate to it, I guess.
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Oh my god. Do you have did you do this on purpose?
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Yeah. So, Lim, you were talking Dirty Skittles'
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love language for sure. She is so
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into spicy novels. I think she has more of those than she
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has anything else in the past. Book. I
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don't know how you feel in the book. Oh, god.
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I'm almost afraid to say it. I am
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You know what? I will say it for me. I I don't know if it's
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my favorite, but it's where it got started. There is a series.
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God, the author's name is escaping me now, but it was
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I think the first book was called Flock. That sound familiar? I'm gonna
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have to reveal it. Anyhow, it is a trilogy. It's a 3
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part series, and it is about a woman sort
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of finding herself, I guess, after have you heard of this book yet?
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No. I didn't. You were afraid to say it. I thought you were gonna say
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50 shades of gray, and I was gonna say Oh. There's no shade to say.
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No. No. My spice level okay. So 50 shades of gray falls
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on a scale of 1 to 10, and I would put
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50 shades at, like, a 5 for my spice level. My
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spice level goes to, like, 10 or 11. Like, it gets weird.
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But, basically, this series, I enjoyed it because it was about a
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woman kind of actually discovering
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herself in romance. But what I enjoyed about the series was it
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was the first time I had read a book where
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that stigma was removed off of a woman being sexual and
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not having judgment for it and whatever that, like,
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for her it is. And I thought, wow. I can't
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believe, like, there's an author out there that's writing something like this
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because I, myself, reading it was, oh my gosh. I can't believe we're saying this
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out loud. Right? But why not?
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I think so. I know. That's what
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I think and that's what I love about romance novels. It's because
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the I I I think the women, they do
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have that space to explore what they actually want. And I think that's what
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everyone deserves even though society thinks of it
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as taboo, even though everyone has had sex before.
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But and but people, like, when when you
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talk about it, there's, like, this has been or, like, a bit of shaming about
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it. And even as a romance novelist, there's a lot of
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sniggering around it and that taboo around it, which
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is weird because I get that I guess that double level of
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sexism sometimes when people ask me questions about writing romance.
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There's there's a lot of sniggering saying, is this based on real life or
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how did you get your inspiration week? Nudge, nudge. But then when you
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think about it, people don't ask a thriller
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author, have you ever murdered someone in real life? So Right. It's
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that double standard. Right. It's crazy. It's crazy.
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Do you do, like, conventions and stuff? Do you go out and, like,
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meet fans? It's like that. I I do book signings, which is a lot
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of fun. I I do really enjoy it. And so the last one I did
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was a little while ago, maybe a year ago, and there was a few
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authors signing at the same time. So readers really had the
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chance to get to know new authors. That's really cool. I
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was I'm starting to dive into, like, something around that,
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not an author at all, but I was doing research on these conventions that
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happened for specific, like, romance writers. And I was like, I love that
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we're doing that. It doesn't have to be, like I don't know that we
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don't have to hide it anymore. We don't have to hide that this is what
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we like or this is what we're writing about or there's like minded individuals
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just like you. I think that's really cool. Yeah.
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Me too. And I I love the fact that your books incorporate,
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you know, real life stuff, like real life mental health stuff, like
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PTSD and, you know, finding your sexuality and you know,
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because it's all about like being able to talk about this and
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not feeling and people not feeling shame about it. Like,
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we're all sexual beings, right? Like and
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we've all been through our own version of shit, per
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se. Yeah. You know, having being able to kind
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of read about it, but not in like a self help book or
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a technical book. You know, reading about it in like
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a scenario that, you know, either any of us could fall into and,
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and, and finding that finding a little bit of
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joy in it. Right? Like Yeah.
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How did you, have you always Oh, sorry. Go
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ahead. I was just gonna say
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people think that romance novels are very fluffy and there's
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no substance to it, but I think a lot of that is changing.
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I've read a lot of romance novels that does go into
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the deeper type topics. So it is
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not that stereotype that people think it is. Yeah. That was
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I think that also is something I remember reading about and
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because it was the first time I had seen it written is, like, diving into
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deeper topics. Does it I think you know what it is. I think growing up,
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my somebody in my family won't see who they were, but they
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would have romance novels, and this was, like, in the nineties. So
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in the nineties, romance was like a pirate and, like, you know, I don't know.
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It was very there was no substance other than
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at least the books that she was picking out. So I think growing up and
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getting older and kind of falling into where I'm at now reading these,
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I it's different. It's different, and
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there's more substance now. It's not just all it doesn't have to
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be all fantasy. I know that fantasy out there is still the same, but
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have you always been locked in? To have that there, to have that escape as
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well. But Right. Yeah. Right. Have you always been an author?
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So I started off working at a big four
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bank. So very dry role, very
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soul crushing, boring in home loan
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sales. So selling things to people that doesn't necessarily
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can afford it, but, like, there's that sales target.
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So I really hated that job and but I did have a good group of
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friends. But then my mom, she mentioned to
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me that you've always enjoyed writing since you were a kid
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because I was always making up even picture books. And she said, how
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about you do a course? Because and she re actually recommended a course that she
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heard was good. So it was a short writing course that is
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after work hours and it went for 10 weeks.
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And so I did just enroll in that just at her
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suggestion. And it was really good to connect with like minded people
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because before that, I always thought getting a book publishing deal,
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that will never happen to me. It's so far out of reach. And
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when I was speaking to the teacher who's won multiple awards
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and was with a big five publisher, she pretty much said that
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it is possible because she did the same course that I was doing years
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years ago. And she said the people that did
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get that book publishing contract were the ones that kept pursuit like,
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persisting even through the rejection. So she did
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make me say that it was possible to pursue a career in writing.
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Oh, that's so cool that your mom recommended it and supported you
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and, hey, check this out. See how this goes. What does your mom think about
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your career now? She she thinks it's good. I won't
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let her read my books because I'll be bored.
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Like, just for sex sake. Like, I love what I was just saying. It's
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perfectly natural, but that doesn't mean I want my parents to read. Right. It's
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not for parents. But yeah. Yeah. The first
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writing course I did, it was actually for children's. Because I thought it would be
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pretty cool to write a book potentially that is the
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first book that a kid might read. So that was my
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first passion, but then I just ended up writing erotic
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romance instead. And you know what? That was perfectly okay. Because you know what?
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We we need that escapism. Right? Like, day to day life
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sucks anyway. And you need to have
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that that way to escape and, like, feel
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human and know you're in the privacy of your own home. And
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I I remember growing up, there were people in my
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family that would read the Harold Quinn romances.
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And like, I was like, okay, well, I was like
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16 and I picked it up and I was like, this isn't a
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book? That's so funny. And like, this
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is fantastic. But, you know, for people that are like trying to like
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figure figure themselves out, you know, reading books like that
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helps them to Yeah. Figure that part of them part of
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that part of themselves out because they don't really have to ask
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other people questions, right? And some people are very
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nervous and very self conscious about that. Me, on the
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other hand, you know what, I'll just like, if I need to, I'll go and
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Google it or I'm going to ask somebody that I would know that
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might know that answer. But, you know, incorporating, like, the mental
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health elements into the books, I think that is fantastic.
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Do you want to research for that part of it, like, for the mental health
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part of it? Yeah. Well so
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when some person that I one person that I met, he actually
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served in was in war in Afghanistan and so that was
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what the character is based on. And when I was speaking to him, he
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gave me good insight on what it was like to go over there and
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serve his country. And he pretty much said that
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everyone that goes over there, when they come back, they do have some form of
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PTSD. And he said some of the signs was
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maybe being very strict on safety to the point of being
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obsessively so. And also another one was being
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startled by loud noises because it might reminds them of
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a gun going off or bomb going off. So I
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incorporated that into my character. But when he was
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describing some of the symptoms to look out for, like a racing heart,
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the paranoia, like looking over shoulder or the sweaty
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palms, even though I know, like, I I don't have that experience
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and I never will have that experience of going to war, and those
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symptoms like the sweaty palms and the overthinking
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sometimes, a lot of that is does sound like anxiety traits.
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And I've had anxiety since I was young. So since I was
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young, I would be awake until all hours of the
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night over something that would never happen. And
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this would hap this would go on until my alarm went off and the
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sun came up, and I had to go to school. So I would go to
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school with 0 sleep because I was having anxiety thinking about the
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worst case scenarios over something that would never happen.
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I've been there. Yeah. Been there. Done
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that. It's just ridiculous. Yeah. I don't think I knew it was entirely
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until till later on in life. I was like, oh. I
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didn't know either. Right. Right. Wow.
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Okay. So he was sort of a muse for you in your
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writing. Yeah. So he gave a really good insight about what
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his experiences was like and and what that
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PTSD was like as well. And even though a lot of
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families of soldiers that's gone to war, they do
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get information and support about
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how to support their loved ones going to war. I think a lot of
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them, they're not fully quite prepared on what
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to expect when that family member comes back. And that's
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what I've written into my female character that even though she
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got the support so Stepping Stones is a second chance
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romance because they got separated at the beginning of the
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novel and they worked their way back together, way back to each
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other. And part of that reason is she didn't fully understand
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what she was in for. And so she was going
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through her own journey of being more supportive and
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really understanding of what he went through at that time.
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Yeah. That's crazy. I actually never thought about it, but,
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yeah, that makes sense because when somebody is my
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family, there's I have tons of soldiers in my family, but I was just thinking,
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like, when they go off and you're
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left here, you typically have support from friends and family.
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Right? And then they come back, and it's supposed to be, oh, everything's great
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now. They're back. They're alive. Everything's wonderful. But there is an adjustment,
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isn't there, that, like, nobody's really Yeah. Talking about.
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So that's interesting. I never thought about it. Yeah.
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Told you your cup of tea.
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Yeah. I don't know how I felt. You know? No. I don't know
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how I felt into it, but I I did. I picked up the series,
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started reading it, and then that became a thing. And then we did like, a
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couple of my friends, I forced them into doing, like, a spicy book club where
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we would read all kinds of books and review them, and it was fun. It
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was fun for a while. I think I, for sure, am into the spicy books
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more so than they are, but it's fine. You know? It's my own thing. It's
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my me time. Yeah. So how many books
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have you read? So I've written 3 books. So
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Law and Disorder, that's enemies to lovers type romance. And
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each book, there's, I guess, different themes of
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how the couples have sex. So Mhmm. Law and Disorder, they
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since it's it's based in the neighborhood, I'm not too sure if you have the
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TV show Neighbors over in the States, but it's really popular
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in Australia. It's about people that live on the same street. It's pretty
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much a soap. And everyone knows each
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other and their friends and they're very much involved in each other's lives.
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And when I first started watching this when I was a
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kid, I was thinking this happened in real life. I didn't even know my neighbors'
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names or, like, what they look like. And so I thought it'd be
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really fun to have a setting where, where it's
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that similar setting of people being neighbors, but make it
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that spicier element. And so
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yeah. So the couple, they sort of use props around the
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place, so they have sex on top of the washing machine.
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And I'm using props around the place, like, the kettle
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going off as the climax was happening. So people
00:17:02
do think romance is a bit cheesy, but I like embracing that sort
00:17:06
of stuff. That's alright. In, my book Etched
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in Stone, they have a fetish for having sex in
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public places, and I think that's something that a lot of people
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do enjoy even though they might not say it. And in my
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book, Stepping Stone, my main female character,
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she has this desire or this interest in, like,
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BDSM. And at the start of the book, she's think she's never
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voiced this to anyone even to her husband who she had been married to
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for about 15 years because she was thinking people will just find this
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weird. But then she her character
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development is having that confidence to be able to express it
00:17:47
even though at the beginning, she thought she she was a bit embarrassed of
00:17:50
it. Yeah. Yeah. Do you how long does it take
00:17:54
you to write each one from start to end? We're a slow writer,
00:17:58
so about a year per novel. I'm really jealous of writers that
00:18:01
say, it takes me only 6 months or less, but
00:18:05
I'm pretty slow. So I I do the approach of setting a timer
00:18:09
for about 15 to 25 minutes and go on writing sprints and
00:18:13
just keep writing without stopping. Because I think if I go back to
00:18:16
edit, I'll just keep editing and be stuck and never finish the
00:18:20
book. So I just do the writing sprints. Do you these
00:18:23
ideas come to you and then you think about them for a while before you
00:18:26
start writing or you immediately are like, oh, gotta do it and jump into it?
00:18:30
I I just think I gotta do it. I just keep going. Usually, h I
00:18:34
I usually don't fully know where the characters are going, so
00:18:38
that's what's really good about the writing spreads. But when I do
00:18:42
starting h when I do start each book, I usually know
00:18:45
how it'll begin and how it'll end. So at least I know
00:18:49
how like, what one working towards. Okay.
00:18:53
Interesting. I thought it was very fascinating. Do you
00:18:56
have an idea for your next one?
00:19:00
Yes. I'm currently working on a 3rd book in
00:19:04
series. So each book for my invested in you series
00:19:08
is based in the same company, so it's same
00:19:11
universe, Stonecorp. And the female characters so
00:19:15
there's 3 female characters in the team. Each book is based on a
00:19:19
different female character, and they're working in this
00:19:22
investment company and their team is in data analytics
00:19:26
and more tech space. And I thought it'd be really cool to
00:19:30
write female characters that's often in a male dominated
00:19:34
environment. So the 3rd book
00:19:38
is it's pretty much comes in a full circle. So the first
00:19:41
book, it's a first chance romance. Like, not sorry. Not
00:19:45
first chance. It's a first love romance. But that's also a billionaire romance
00:19:49
where you get that a lot in romance books where Mhmm. Female
00:19:53
employee and male billionaire. And a
00:19:56
lot of people do find that cheesy, but I think there's a reason why it's
00:20:00
so popular in the first place. Mhmm. And then the second book, that's the
00:20:03
second chance romance of the couple of the PTSD
00:20:07
man and the woman interested in BDSM finding their
00:20:11
way back to each other. But in the 3rd book, so it's
00:20:15
about the manager in the team, she who's a female, and then she hires a
00:20:19
male employee. So then I wanted to come in a full circle where it's
00:20:22
maybe a female manager. Yeah. That power dynamic.
00:20:26
Oh, I like the I like the power dynamic. Fuck
00:20:30
it. Right? So when you started when you
00:20:34
changed careers and started writing books, were you
00:20:38
and and I guess more specifically going into, like, the
00:20:41
adult type of, you know, spicy content, were you
00:20:45
open about it, like, telling everybody, yeah. This is just
00:20:49
what I'm doing, or did you find yourself, like, kind
00:20:52
of, like, afraid to share? Yeah. I was open about
00:20:56
it, everyone besides my parents. It's because my mom,
00:21:00
she's even asked me before, where can I read this? And then
00:21:03
I give a very vague answer. Like, I'm like, oh,
00:21:07
well, it's it's I don't know where I'm like, where to
00:21:11
read it or it's not out yet because I need to know some
00:21:15
writing it.
00:21:19
I only laugh because, like, I'm writing my own book
00:21:23
on just like my whole like what happened with my depression and the
00:21:27
whole middle chapter where everything was just crazy and then the
00:21:30
end chapter. And somebody reached out to me and said, hey, can you write a
00:21:34
PG version of your book? I'm like, no. I don't fucking think I can
00:21:38
because, like, I want all my emotion to come through.
00:21:42
And so I probably have, like, a few people not read my
00:21:46
book because it will be labeled with the word
00:21:49
clock. Yeah. Like, the
00:21:53
whole middle chapter is f u c k. And
00:21:57
I guess that's pretty much what it was. Right? Do you
00:22:00
find yourself getting invested in a story, or does it naturally have an end
00:22:04
and you're you move on from there? I am
00:22:08
invested in a story as when when I'm writing it.
00:22:12
But then I think after I finish it and all the book publicity stuff
00:22:16
finishes it, then I I moved on to my next
00:22:20
book. But I do still love my characters
00:22:24
because I spent so long with them. So, like,
00:22:28
a a year with them and then more. So
00:22:31
but I I I think it's good to move forward as well to think about
00:22:35
the next book, and my writing always gets stronger with each book as
00:22:39
well. Yeah. Could you have imagined that this is what you would be
00:22:43
doing when you were working at that shitty job? Really? I thought we'd study
00:22:46
that job sometimes. I thought I'd die
00:22:50
there. So Oh, this sounds so
00:22:53
rare. It it sure as shit does, I tell you.
00:22:58
God. Yeah. So I I never thought that, and it it's a lot more
00:23:01
fun writing spicy scenes. And when I first started writing
00:23:05
romance novels, I was thinking, there's there's only so
00:23:09
many ways that someone can have sex, but then the
00:23:12
more you get into it, that like, there's like a whole new world out
00:23:16
there. Oh, I can give you some
00:23:20
ideas. That's true. Yeah.
00:23:23
Okay. Like, I, you know, you have a different
00:23:27
dynamic. I do. I have a completely different dynamic.
00:23:33
But I love that you, like, wouldn't count something
00:23:36
that made you happy, right? Didn't sit around in that shitty
00:23:40
job, hint, hint, hint. And that you
00:23:44
get so much joy out of it. And I, you know, I don't think we
00:23:47
enough I don't think enough of us do that. Right? We stick around
00:23:51
with what's comfortable and pay the bills, but I just love this. I love
00:23:54
what you do. Is it therapeutic? Yeah. I
00:23:58
think it's good. You you can still it is realistic to have that day
00:24:02
job to pay the bills, but I think sometimes people get
00:24:05
stuck in that reasoning and don't think
00:24:09
I can maybe try to make this work outside of work so that I can
00:24:13
still pay the bills, but work towards something else. And
00:24:17
hopefully, I can give up that job eventually.
00:24:20
Right. Yeah. Were you able to move past the 9 to 5
00:24:24
job and just focus on this passion?
00:24:28
Yeah. So it it it's good to be able to focus on this,
00:24:32
and it's it's hard for writers to actually make a full
00:24:35
time wage out of it. So a lot of writers do still
00:24:39
pick up writing work, and I do writing work at the moment. So grant
00:24:43
writing and copywriting. Oh, okay. Good. Nice.
00:24:47
But you're self employed. Like, you're doing what you want
00:24:51
for yourself. Got it. Yeah. That's really cool. Does it feel like
00:24:55
work? Like, even though you are writing a book, does it at times still
00:24:58
feel like work, like something you have to do?
00:25:02
Yeah. It does a lot sometimes. Like, especially
00:25:06
when I'm trying to get to the end of the novel, and sometimes I might
00:25:10
be exhausted for the day. And if I'm pushing
00:25:13
myself to write a novel, it can feel like a chore at times.
00:25:17
Yeah. And do you have a editor that you're working with?
00:25:21
Yes. I I'm with a publisher at the moment, so they specialize in
00:25:25
romance books. And so they usually edit my books when
00:25:29
I submit new manuscripts. The reason I asked,
00:25:32
we had an author before and I remember thinking like, gosh, like,
00:25:37
it was a different type of book. She was being a lot more
00:25:40
vulnerable with her personal story, but I remember thinking like, gosh,
00:25:44
if I'm producing something for the world to see, and I
00:25:47
guess in in a way, the podcast is that, but you're producing
00:25:51
something for the world to take in, consume, and, like, give feedback on, especially
00:25:55
if you have somebody who's editing it after. How hard is that for
00:25:58
you? Is it like no. Like, I don't know. Is there
00:26:02
any kind of, like, push and pull between what they want
00:26:06
versus what you want? Do you find it difficult to let go of that?
00:26:10
No. I don't think so because my publish is very collaborative.
00:26:14
So and I actually been in editing and publishing for a
00:26:18
while. So when they do make suggestions, I often
00:26:22
agree with a lot of their suggestions. Like, it does
00:26:26
make their the writing a lot stronger and
00:26:29
sometimes they give suggestions in the sex scenes as well. And
00:26:33
so when I see a comparison, when they see when they give an edit, I'm
00:26:37
thinking, oh, that does make it a lot spicier or more
00:26:40
visual for the reader. So I I do agree with it.
00:26:44
But if there's times when I'm thinking I'm not too sure
00:26:48
about this edit and I bring it forward to them,
00:26:51
the like, it is open to discussion, which is really cool.
00:26:55
That's really cool. Do you have audiobooks?
00:26:59
No. Not audio at the moment. So I was looking at
00:27:04
I'm looking at a g rex because I have a funny story for the
00:27:08
listeners. So, I started reading the spicy novel. This was
00:27:11
the first series. And my mother-in-law came to
00:27:15
visit. And I sometimes I
00:27:18
need background noise when I'm working and I work from home. There's
00:27:22
nobody else in this office. So I put the spicy book on and it has
00:27:26
a storyline. It's not just x rated from start to finish. Right? Like, there's a
00:27:29
storyline there. There's dialogue that's not anyways,
00:27:34
put it on Audible because I'm working, but I'm invested in
00:27:38
the story. So I wanna keep it going. Right? And didn't
00:27:41
realize that had picked up on the pods in the guest suite as well as
00:27:45
the office. And so she got to hear
00:27:49
some of the spicy novel. You know, it's fine. Oh, it's Natural.
00:27:53
Did she enjoy it? Yeah. She was like, what are you
00:27:57
reading? And I'm like like, I don't know what it's called. Right? Like, you're, like,
00:28:00
embarrassed a little bit because you're like, oh, how much of that did you hear
00:28:04
exactly? Because it gets pretty pretty graphic sometimes. But
00:28:08
Yes. I recommend it. And some people don't really know what to do about
00:28:12
that when they hear it. I
00:28:15
know. I know. And the only reason I laugh
00:28:19
is because there's days that I will call Dirty Skittles, and she's like, I'm trying
00:28:23
to get my book off so I can answer the
00:28:26
call. Yeah. Well, look. I mean Yeah. I I
00:28:30
yeah. For the reader, at least, I mean, yeah,
00:28:34
you're kind of escaping whatever's happening in your life. You're
00:28:37
imagining, you know, the characters or yourself in the story or whatever. So, I
00:28:41
mean, it's a little therapeutic as the consumer
00:28:44
to take that in and, you know, admire
00:28:48
somebody's artwork. Therapeutic because I think so
00:28:52
often people try to settle. In romance books, they always have mind
00:28:56
blowing sex, but, like, that's not No. The case. But in
00:28:59
Never mind. Real life. And it so, like, sometimes I use
00:29:03
metaphors for the orgasm scene, like, it's, like, equivalent to, like, a
00:29:07
tsunami hitting on earthquake. And some
00:29:10
people, like, reviewers that or any
00:29:14
book critics or, interviewers, they're asking me,
00:29:18
do you think this is realistic to compare these 2
00:29:22
to a natural disaster? And then I I'm like,
00:29:26
yeah. Like, if you're not having sex that good, like,
00:29:29
you're not doing it properly. And so, like, that's something to aim for.
00:29:34
Also, like, who wants to read a book that's realistic about it? Like,
00:29:38
no. I want those type of metaphors. I'm like, woah. That must
00:29:42
have been fucking great. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna be like, oh, yeah. That's like
00:29:45
an average Tuesday. Like, nobody know. That's not a good book to read.
00:29:50
Yeah. That's what everyone deserves. So I should get something
00:29:53
everyone should aspire to. Yeah.
00:29:57
No. I get it. That's what I never thought, but there were, like, people
00:30:01
reading and giving, hey. Maybe you should write the sex scene this way. I never
00:30:04
knew that was, like, a job. That's really good.
00:30:09
New career goals unlocked.
00:30:12
Yeah. I I guess I have a question for you. What books do
00:30:16
you read when you're not writing your own?
00:30:21
So I write I I read all different genres. So
00:30:24
I love young adult fantasy. I also read
00:30:28
thrillers and women's fiction, also literary
00:30:32
fiction, and also different types of romance as well, so not
00:30:35
necessarily only erotic. I I read romcoms and
00:30:39
I've read young adult romance, and I also read
00:30:43
all their biographies as well. So, oh, so I can be a mood
00:30:46
reader. I just read whatever, like, sparks
00:30:50
my interest. Do you have a favorite spicy
00:30:54
romance? Or how about one you would recommend for somebody, like,
00:30:58
just kind of diving into that world? I
00:31:01
think Fifty Shades of Grey, I think that that is something that a
00:31:05
lot of women started with. And,
00:31:09
like, I I know there's a lot of judgment with Fifty Shades of Grey for
00:31:12
various issues and both for, like, the themes of, like, the
00:31:16
BDSM and maybe consent and also,
00:31:20
the way it was written. Like, a lot of people do say it wasn't written
00:31:23
well, but I think the thing that 50 Shades did
00:31:27
was it got a lot of people open to the genre,
00:31:31
which was before that, I don't think people were as
00:31:35
openly reading this genre. So I think
00:31:39
there's probably a reason why so many people did
00:31:42
connect with 50 Shades. So I see no shame
00:31:46
in reading that and but the the other books
00:31:50
of the same genre that is well written. So so I
00:31:53
was really lucky to get, like, book cover endorsements from Mer
00:31:57
Meredith Wilde, Jay Kennard, and Carrie Adair
00:32:01
who all are international New York Times bestselling
00:32:05
authors, and I I would recommend all their books as well.
00:32:08
Very cool. Very, very cool. Yeah. And Fifty Shades for Self Shame. No Shame.
00:32:12
I think I read that was it Wattpad?
00:32:16
Was that the app? Does anybody remember Wattpad? It was, like, when people would,
00:32:20
like, write, I think that's where I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I
00:32:23
read it, and I'm a lesbian, and I still read the book. I mean,
00:32:27
like Yeah. Perfect. And I used to watch the movies. No. I could
00:32:30
watch the movies. Would you ever let them make a movie of of one of
00:32:34
your books? I I would love
00:32:37
that. I think that's all writer's dreams, but it it's something
00:32:41
that it it it it's a long term goal. It's something that I I'm
00:32:45
working towards. That'd be cool. And since the only
00:32:48
bad part about that is your mom might wanna go see the movie. Oh, oh
00:32:52
my gosh. What would you do? Well,
00:32:55
I could not invite this. I'll
00:33:00
just say, oh, they just took their own creative
00:33:04
liberty, and I did alright that.
00:33:08
It's the washing machine scene. You're like, I don't know where that came from.
00:33:13
I love this. I I love that you're doing this and that you found
00:33:16
you're happy. Because, you know, so many people like
00:33:21
dream or think about doing this and never kind of follow through with
00:33:25
that, what they want to what they wanna do.
00:33:29
And you just went out and did it. And I, man,
00:33:33
kudos to you. Yeah. Well, that's what I think because
00:33:36
I heard a quote one time that if you don't like what you're
00:33:40
doing or where you are at the moment, just do something about it.
00:33:44
You're not a tree. So and that sort of stuck with me. Like, every
00:33:47
time I think I'm not happy about something, I just think I'm not a tree.
00:33:51
So, like, there's always something you can do about it.
00:33:55
I just I love that. I you know,
00:33:59
follow your path. Like, you're
00:34:03
bringing joy to people. Right? Like and I don't think we
00:34:06
should be ashamed of our sexuality at all. I mean, I'm
00:34:10
not Like Hey. I think, you know, anybody that looks at me
00:34:14
is gonna say I'm a big fat lesbian anyway, so it doesn't matter. Okay?
00:34:17
Like, I don't care anymore. No. But I I don't think there's anything wrong
00:34:21
with sex, and I don't think there's anything wrong with, like, wanting to read about
00:34:25
it. And, like, I don't know. I wish
00:34:30
well, maybe I don't. I was gonna say I wish I would have thought this
00:34:32
earlier, but I probably would have gotten in trouble. But I just think that,
00:34:36
like, there's nothing wrong with it, and it's taken me at least
00:34:40
a long time to be okay with that thought
00:34:44
that there's nothing wrong with liking this or wanting to
00:34:47
read about it or, fuck it, wanting to recreate a scene. Right? Like,
00:34:51
it is what it is. I think so. Because I think even the people
00:34:55
that read romance, I think there's always that judgment there
00:34:59
as well. Like, you're just reading mommy porn or you're
00:35:03
reading a dumb genre because there's that stereotype that it's,
00:35:06
like, a less intelligent genre as well. Yeah. But
00:35:10
you know who's smart? It's the dudes that are reading the books because their girls
00:35:14
are into it, and then they're like, oh, I see. Okay. Now I can try
00:35:18
these things and, like, if I have consent, we can try it out.
00:35:21
So kudos. And it's the reason why it's the high selling genre as
00:35:25
well. So many people record it. I know. I know.
00:35:29
Right? Okay. So I have 2 questions.
00:35:33
Question number 1. If you could actually,
00:35:37
let's go scrap that. What is the hardest lesson
00:35:40
you've had to learn so far in your life?
00:35:45
Oh, the hardest lesson, terrible with boundaries. That's something I
00:35:49
really need to work on, setting boundaries. And
00:35:53
I I found sometimes that made me get
00:35:57
attracted to toxic people that
00:36:01
had a really hard impact on my mental health as in
00:36:05
I, sometimes they would make me question my sense of reality
00:36:09
and I think part of that came from anxiety as well, like,
00:36:13
not being able to set those firm boundaries because, when I was
00:36:16
speaking to, like, even people like my brothers who were quite,
00:36:20
who don't have anxiety and they're quite mentally resilient.
00:36:24
Sometimes when I'm telling them of something that's happened like this
00:36:28
person has constantly lied to me and gaslit me
00:36:32
and and has done other questionable weird things,
00:36:36
they just say, oh, just don't engage with them then. And
00:36:39
it sounds so simple. And when and they so easily do
00:36:43
it. They just, like, don't engage with people like that. But with
00:36:47
me, that emotional impacts,
00:36:50
like, it it still keeps, like, me tied in.
00:36:54
And so I have trouble separating that, and I think
00:36:58
with setting boundaries, I I I am a big people pleaser,
00:37:02
and that is something that I'm trying to work on, so I I
00:37:05
don't like to disappoint people and that
00:37:09
is something that I do need to work on. And I think that
00:37:13
is a big lesson to not to keep those boundaries
00:37:16
and I'm not obligated to associate with anyone that's
00:37:20
making my life worse. Do the characters in your book have boundaries?
00:37:25
Are these Yeah. They do. So so I I did want to write characters
00:37:28
that were stronger people. And so people
00:37:33
actually, for for my first book, she didn't have that much boundaries, but she grew
00:37:37
at the end. But I think that is important to either see a
00:37:40
character that maybe, like, lacks that
00:37:44
development at the beginning, but that she grows at the end or seeing female
00:37:48
characters that already has boundaries so that it does seem
00:37:51
normal to have that. Because I think, especially as
00:37:55
women, people can be a bit taken aback if
00:37:58
you're more assertive about your views. Yeah.
00:38:03
Okay. Next question. If you could go back and give yourself a bit of
00:38:07
advice, what age are you visiting your
00:38:11
past self and what would you say?
00:38:14
So I would be visiting my past self as a kid
00:38:18
and just, I guess, told myself to calm down,
00:38:22
I think. Because I was a very anxious kid, so
00:38:26
I would even be, like, anxious over, like, does this person hate
00:38:29
me? Or I just got into trouble with the teacher.
00:38:33
And I I I just tell myself to calm down.
00:38:38
I'd love that, Liv. And I can tell you, like, the sooner you learn how
00:38:42
to set boundaries, the freer your life will be.
00:38:46
Like, after I had my mental breakdown, that was one of the first things
00:38:50
I I worked on. And, yeah, I lost a few friends,
00:38:53
but man, I've never felt so I've never felt so good.
00:38:58
It's absolutely free. So
00:39:02
yeah. It's hard to Yeah. Like, I think I I do need to work on
00:39:05
the art of saying no. So Yeah. And I think since I
00:39:09
don't do it that often, it does feel uncomfortable to me sometimes,
00:39:13
but it it it is something I'm getting better at. Yeah. It's like a
00:39:16
muscle. You have to keep working on it. Yeah. For sure.
00:39:21
So I actually have a couple questions for you. What is
00:39:25
your favorite word? My favorite
00:39:28
word? Oh, as an author. No pressure.
00:39:34
My favorite word? Oh, I tend to say yay
00:39:37
a lot. I don't know why. I think I just like to show
00:39:41
enthusiasm and support. Yeah. And I think, like, there's nothing wrong
00:39:45
with showing positivity.
00:39:48
I'd love that. And what's your least favorite word?
00:39:53
Aunt? So people always say I can't do something. So
00:39:58
and I think a lot of times people are just making excuses because that
00:40:01
there's always so like, I every second person always tells me that they're going to
00:40:04
write a book, but out of all those people, rarely anyone even starts it, let
00:40:06
alone finishes it. So I think they're just making all these excuses up
00:40:10
in their head for why they can't do something.
00:40:19
Yeah. Yeah. It's the fear. I'm guilty of it. I'm like
00:40:23
I'm still not guilty of that. Yeah. Because it's I have a fear of
00:40:27
failing. So if I am going to take a
00:40:31
risk at something, I am petrified
00:40:34
to do it because I'm like, what if it's already risky. Right? And then what
00:40:38
if I fail at it? But we've talked to so many, guests
00:40:42
who have helped me get past that
00:40:46
because who cares? The world's not gonna end
00:40:49
if I fail at this one thing that I'm really passionate
00:40:53
about. And so I know. And
00:40:57
and there is that quote that if you're not failing at something, you're not trying
00:41:00
hard enough. Yeah. Maybe eventually. I'll say that every day. No. I'm
00:41:04
just kidding. But, yeah, I So you just,
00:41:07
like, turn that into a positive. I think I was reading Stephen King.
00:41:11
He said that he got a lot of rejection letters when he first started writing,
00:41:15
but then he would hang up these rejection letters on the
00:41:19
wall like a badge of honor because he thought of it to
00:41:22
himself that it means he was moving forward every time he got
00:41:26
a rejection. Yeah. I love that.
00:41:30
I like that a lot. Yeah. That might work.
00:41:34
That might do it for me. I'll just write you a bunch of
00:41:37
rejection letters, and you can stick them on your wall. But I'm gonna do it
00:41:41
in in in crayons. Oh, so it looks murderous?
00:41:45
Thank you. You cut them out of
00:41:49
newspapers and Yeah. Yeah. Let me get right on that because, you
00:41:53
know, I don't think do they even make newspapers anymore?
00:41:56
Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll I'll go I'll go find 1.
00:42:00
I'll send you I'll send you a a newspaper letter.
00:42:05
So, Liv, what where can our listeners find your
00:42:09
books? So, yeah, I love to hear from listeners and
00:42:13
readers. So people can find me on livearnold.com
00:42:17
and I'm also on Instagram, live_au, and
00:42:21
and also on Facebook, livearnold author where I post
00:42:25
updates about my books, but they can find my books on all major online
00:42:29
retailers like Barnes and Noble, Amazon,
00:42:33
Kobo, all all that good stuff. Beautiful.
00:42:37
Love that. I love this. Thank you so much for coming
00:42:41
on. Thank you for having me. Yeah. I appreciate you sharing what you do
00:42:45
and letting me ask all the crazy fucking questions. I'm
00:42:48
like, oh my god. We have a spicy namaste? This was a surprise to
00:42:52
me, Drex. I did. I do have
00:42:56
some tricks left up my sleeve. Just a few.
00:43:02
No. Thank you, Liv. I love this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
00:43:05
so much. Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode.
00:43:09
I'm G Rex. And I'm Derby Skittles. Don't forget to
00:43:12
subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your
00:43:16
feedback. We can't do this without you guys.
00:43:20
It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to
00:43:24
someone.
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