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Welcome back, squad! This is a special episode where our hosts, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles, sit down with the ever-inspiring Booky, who shares her incredible life story and imparts wisdom that only comes from facing life's toughest battles head-on. From living with a terminal illness to finding joy in the mundane, this episode is a rollercoaster of emotions wrapped with laughter, insights, and unfiltered truths.
**Key Lessons:**
1. **Live in the Moment:** Booky's philosophy of living life spontaneously, without excessive planning, is a testament to the importance of being present and enjoying life's journey, no matter where it leads you.
2. **Laughter Is Healing:** The power of laughter, especially self-deprecating humor, is a healing force that Booky, G-Rex, and the squad deeply believe in. Human connection and shared joy can be the best medicine.
3. **Wisdom With Age:** Reflections on youth and maturity remind us to learn from past experiences but not dwell on them. Booky's look back at her recklessness in youth sheds light on the value of growth and wisdom.
4. **Value Experiences Over Things:** Our conversations reveal how travel and experiences bring far more joy and fulfillment than material possessions ever could. Greece, Edinburgh, or just a simple reunion at the beach – it’s all about the memories.
5. **Openness and Planning:** Despite her diagnosis, Booky's approach to being open with her family and making necessary legal arrangements teaches us to confront difficult situations head-on and with clear, open communication.
6. **Pursue Joy and Avoid Procrastination:** Don't put off what can bring happiness to you and your loved ones. Time is precious, so make the most of it with those who matter.
7. **Support Systems are Crucial:** Whether it's dealing with recovery, fears, or the daunting task of making complex decisions, having a 'squad' or family, both blood and chosen, is invaluable.
8. **Dealing with Substance Use Sensibly:** Booky's decision to abstain from alcohol due to her health conditions highlights the importance of making wise choices for long-term well-being.
9. **Find Beauty in Scars:** From discussing nipple tattoos to embracing the stories our bodies tell, there is empowerment in choosing how to heal and adorn ourselves after life-changing events like breast surgery.
**Wisdom Shared:**
- "Worry more about the neighbors than the neighborhood."
- "Don’t procrastinate the joy."
If this episode has moved you, taught you, or simply made you laugh, don't forget to share it with your own squad. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay, and there's strength in talking it out. Until next time, keep finding your joy, embracing the chaos, and chatting about all the sh!t that goes on in our heads.
**Special Thanks:**
A heartfelt thank you to Booky for her courage, humor, and for gracing us with her presence on today's episode. You are a beacon of light in the darkness, and we're all the better for knowing you.
Remember to leave a review, share the podcast, and, if you're feeling deeply touched by the conversation, consider supporting causes that Booky holds dear. Until the next time our thoughts collide, take care of your headspace!
#TerminalWisdom #LaughterIsTherapy #ValueExperiences #OpennessInAdversity #SquadGoals #TravelTherapy #SelfCareSquad #LifeBeyondCancer #TattooHealing #LifeLessonsUnleashed
S02E05 Living Life to the Fullest with Terminal Illness with Guest Host: Booky
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You know what format. Right? Like, we know Negative
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format. Do you know also that I'm I'm tempted
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to, like, either not break it all the things
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a lot, which is probably some something diagnosis
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So, you know, we're not gonna talk about that.
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If if if you wanna know, I haven't had
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a drink since we've been get back from the
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beach last month. Because like I'm I'm like,
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try or drunk. I'm like I have no in
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between.
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You should have a drink with us because we're
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both drinking. Well, no, I actually we went to
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the beach for a week, a little over a
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week and every day we had something to drink.
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Even if it's just like a glass of wine
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to know every single day we drank. And I'm
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leaving on June second to get at Edinburgh in
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Ireland, and I know I'll have a drink every
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day there. And since my liver has had radiation,
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and had cancer in it. I try to, like,
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go through long dry spells before what I know
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I'm gonna have go through long drink spells. So
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I'm on a dry about right now.
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So what did you think of our West our
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episode with Booky?
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I really loved the fact that she's out there
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living life even though she's got a terminal diagnosis.
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She inspired me. She
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isn't letting
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what I would imagine
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break me, break her.
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She's -- Right. -- out there. She's living life.
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She is
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taking it by the ball, so to speak, and
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making
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the best out of it,
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and she's not letting anything hold her back. No.
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And I I just love that, you know,
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like we always talk about, you know, relativity and
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laughing about things and, you know, hindsight is 20
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20 and just living her life.
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And something that I think we could all learn
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for from even though, you know, most of us
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don't have a terminal illness or a chronic illness,
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but just living your life.
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Yeah. And
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and I and I'm really taking away just that
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what makes life worth living is the experiences.
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And now,
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live, love, life with Bookie.
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Today, we have a very special guest. Her name
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is bookie.
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And she's going to talk to us about living
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with a terminal
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terminal illness
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start over. Start over.
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Take a 6.
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Start over.
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Okay. Ready?
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321.
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Welcome back to another episode of shit that goes
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on in our heads.
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This is episode
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Fuck me. Continue. Okay. I can't I can't
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take a sit. You know what? That must be
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a high pressure guest. I don't mean that much
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pressure I need.
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It's just me. He could drink you under the
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table.
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Florida. Fucking gently. I guess what it is. Alright.
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Try this again. I'm gonna close my eyes though.
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Okay.
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321.
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Welcome to another episode of shit that goes on
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in our heads.
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This is season 2 episode 4. And today we
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have a very special guest,
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bookie,
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and she's going to talk to us about living
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with a terminal illness and how she's going about
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her life.
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I
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found out in 2016,
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I have breast cancer. I did what every responsible
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person does. I I actually, both my grandmother have
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breast cancer. I don't have the gene or any
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gene's, you know, combination
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they've discovered yet.
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But I went ahead and opted for
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radical bilateral mastectomy, which means they take all your
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tissue, all your jeans, they go all the way
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back to your chest wall, and a reconstruction called
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a deep flap which was quite fascinating. They took
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a fat from my tummy and maybe some nice
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new tatiels.
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Uh-huh. But,
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yeah, it's pretty this fascinating thing because you kinda
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get a tummy tuck in new boots all at
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once, And even though you have this disease, it's
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like, oh, gold, silver lining.
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But and that was in 2016.
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It was stage 1.
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And over the years, I kinda had pain in
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my hips
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and started to get pain in my mid back.
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And so after having gone to a lot of
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people for physical therapy and trying to make it
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better and talk to my colleagues just about it.
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I have a friend who's a urologist. And I
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said, hey, can you check and see if I
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have kidney stones? My back is really It was
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really physically limiting.
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And so she did. And the scan showed that
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I had metastatic breast cancer in 2021,
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it was in my spine.
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My hip bones
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and
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hundreds, uncannable number of lesions in my liver. So,
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it not only spreads my bones, but it spreads
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to my soft tissues. So, I you know, kind
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of some decisions to make because that's considered metastatic
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breast cancer at that point you're stage 4.
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And any care they give you is considered palliative
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instead of curative.
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And I had to decide how I was gonna
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live out my life.
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Wow. So it's a little bit about my background.
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I work in the software industry. I've had lots
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of different jobs with different people.
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50 almost 55, almost double nickels.
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Wow.
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I have a a very random question.
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Going back to the the plus on the surgery
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and getting new tatas.
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Did you get to pick what size?
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I did. And, you know, I know that on
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podcasts, she can't see me. But I asked I
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was kind of a c.
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Before,
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and I ask for a high c.
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Oh. Not the drink. The Right. The cup size.
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Which, you know, if we think of a high
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c, let's think of a famous person people might
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know that's a high c. Probably
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Jennifer Lopez, high c maybe.
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I wanted the high c, and I was really
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excited because I'd nursed both my kids. And so
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after 3 solid years of nursing,
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and pumping because they worked. So and the pump's
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a little harsher on even the actual child is.
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Mhmm.
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They were saggy. You know, it's kinda like somebody
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put a rock in the bottom of an athletic
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they were just low down. So I was really
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excited about, like, hey, this is so rewarding. It's
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always a sweet 1. Get these new tatons. And
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so I pit to high c,
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and holy Moses.
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They were bigger than Texas
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when I came out. Doctor it sure be, they
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would go down. And 4 months later, I'm like,
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what's gonna head down? And she said, you must
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have really dense fat. And I don't know if
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that was a compliment or not. But they didn't
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really shrink so you can get 1
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of adjustment done. So she adjusted them and said,
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I'm scared if I go too far, you'll be
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really small or they'll be kinda saggy because of
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how you do them. So let's just adjust them
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down a little. So now I'm like a double
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d, which is it's bigger than expected, but you
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know what? I'm not complaining. They're perky. They're lovely.
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I have 2 of my 4 tattoos in my
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life were on them because I had to get
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the nipples ditude. That was gonna be my next
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question. Was that your next question? It totally was.
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They'd go in and they'd pitch this little piece
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of skin up and sew around it. To make
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the nipple. And then you let that all heal,
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and then they tattoo them more like the outer
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part of the ariella is a little lighter than
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the the nipple itself. And so then you have
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like fully normal looking boots. And initially, I didn't
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think I cared about that. And then after, like,
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showering stuff, it was weird to see these, like,
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in boobs with no nipple and no areola. So
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I went for the tattoos.
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Yeah. That's, like, a side note 1 of my
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biggest fears. Is that I would go in and
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because we had a little bit of a scare,
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but I was fine. And I was already doing
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the research thinking like, okay, we're gonna hit this
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as aggressive as we possibly can.
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Saw that they could tattoo nipples that looked beautiful.
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And I was like, well, shoot. Alright. Let's
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let's make this a plan. So my husband's from
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Wisconsin, Green Bay Packers fan, huge fan. I'm from
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Athens, Georgia.
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And so I'm a huge UGA fan. And
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The G's are actually the same G. The UGA
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coach, actually, at some point in time, asked Green
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Bay if they could use it. I think they
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paid a dollar for the copyright
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laws. And so they both have the same g.
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So my husband really wanted me to get
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the Green Bay Packers g on 1, and the
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thornton tea on the other. And I said, James,
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you're gonna kick the bucket, and I'll be with
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the Steelers fans. Like, you wanna have to look
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at that all the time? So we we just
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decided for traditional nipples. But a lot of people
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there are people who specialize in this lovely tattoo
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art that they do.
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For people who've had
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singular or bilateral and either had a reconstruction or
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not to cover the scars. So
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if you're bored on a good day, Google that
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because there's just some amazing tattoo art that's done.
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Terry Skills, that's another thing for you to go
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down the rabbit I did. On TikTok. I was
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gonna do heart shaped ones.
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There's like this floral, especially people who don't get
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reconstruction, so you just kinda have this
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horizontal scar across where your breastplate was. And they
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do, like, flowers and just all these just amazing
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things that I think mentally probably willy help
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the fakes you've lost at rest, kind of adjust
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to it and learn to love their body again
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even though it's different. So that that's pretty cool
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to me. Yeah.
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It's beautiful.
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So how do you find your, like, zest for
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life? Because I know that you have a couple
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of kids and, you know,
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you love to travel and drink and I love
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to travel and drink, and I love parties
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until I'm done with them. And then I just
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do the Irish goodbye and split.
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So
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you know, I think for 1 year, I'm on
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lifetime medic. I had about 4 months of chemo
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with that initial 1 and then, like, 8 months
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in 20 21.
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And then I'm on medicine for the rest of
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my life, and the medicine makes you really tired.
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So there's definitely gonna be a change.
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Obviously, I've had a liver with Camp in it.
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And then I've also I had some something called
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y nining radiation to my liver,
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and that makes it a little bit
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you know, more. So I've had to cut back
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on the drinking for sure.
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But, you know, you have a decision to make
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and, admittedly, it puts you in a really weird
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place because, you know, if they tell you I
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think in March, they told March of 20 21,
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they said, you know, on the outside, you have
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2 years to love.
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And that was really, really hard because I thought,
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okay, I've got 1 daughter that's about to graduate.
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In other words, still in high school, like, how
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do I wanna manage this? And you go back
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and forth every day. I'm like, do I just
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wanna party my ass off, eat everything inside?
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Can I say yes? Yes. So yeah. Yeah. So,
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like, you know, like, you go back and, like,
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if I've only got 2 years, I don't wanna
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spend it eating like a rabbit
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and staying in my house and not doing anything,
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but then you also know that your odds of
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stretching it that there's like all of life. Right?
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There's some balance.
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So I just tried to the first thing we
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did is to get our legal crap in or
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We had a will that had been made when
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the kids were really little. So really when they
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get older, it changes. Right?
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And then we also and this is you're gonna
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think I'm crazy. But we also changed it so
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that if I die, it all gets into a
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trust, and it's earmarked for certain things.
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But I did it. We did it. We did
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it in such a way I guess when we
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did our first 1, you know, you're optimistic. You
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don't think you're gonna die before. You're gonna 60,
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70. Maybe even 80 90. So we hadn't really
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thought about if 1 of us remarries.
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So I was like, you know what?
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If I die and I have life insurance sort
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of stuff and my husband gets it,
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and he remarries. What if he, you know, remarries
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somebody who's just in it to win out with
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the money and they divorce him and then they
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get half of his thing. So he redid it
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so that that can't happen. So that was, like,
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a little kind of
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it's tough that I don't I would love for
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him to remarry if I die because he's a
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good husband and and he enjoys a partner. You
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know, he likes company and people to travel with.
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But I made sure that they couldn't take money
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that was rightfully my children's
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or whatever. So we we did that first. So
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kind of once I got what I'm gonna call
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the I like a plan. I'm a numbers person.
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I like for it to add up. So so
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I kind of immediately.
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Maybe even before I started chemo, we went to
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see our financial plan on our lawyer and got
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everything in order. And then I decided that some
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of the things that maybe we plan to spend
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on money later,
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we'd do sooner because the girl my children are
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old enough that they can
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roll with us. You know? We can go to
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a foreign city, and if they don't wanna go,
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they're fine on their own.
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So we we've done a little bit more traveling
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with it at Italy for a couple weeks last
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year. The the kids only joined just for 1
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week because they're school schedules. And
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We which the beach for a week with my
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in laws who I love. I had a lottery
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in laws,
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and my brother-in-law and his wife with none of
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our children. So that was fun. So just to
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even though I had to work some while I
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was there, the other thing I did that's important
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for me is I kept working.
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I think some people need to, you know, let
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their life is more like poetry. Like, when they're
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sick, they wanna curl up, they wanna reflect, they
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wanna do those things for me.
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Because I like a plan.
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If I had to stay if it was 1
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of those countries where when you get sick, they
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make you take a certain amount of leave, I
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would lose my mind because I would just be
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going down the rabbit hole all day.
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So, I think those are a couple of things
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I did. Just at celebrating some things interestingly enough,
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everybody's like, well, what's your bucket list? And by
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the way, it's been 2 years and 3 months.
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So I've outdone
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the life perspective to see they gave me, and
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I feel great. I have no evidence of active
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disease.
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The medications working well.
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I'm feel extraordinarily
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blessed. And but that goes back to the then
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you have to live
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with boundaries because, you know, you wanna live longer.
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No. I just totally did had a had a
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brief moment.
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But anyway,
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I don't have a bucket list. What's my little
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point there?
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All of a sudden, I realize, like, people who
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say, well, on my bucket list,
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once you kinda have this
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terminal
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or palliative diagnosis,
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you kind of realize the most important thing is
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spending time with friends and family. So T reg
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when you came to town, like, I was gonna
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make time to visit with you because you never
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to and we should really all live that way
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because when you realize that the bucket list isn't
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so much about much about
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the things you do. It's about the
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quality of the time spent. And the people you
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spend it with, Yes. And laughing and laughing. That's
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so important. And laughing.
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Yeah, levity is a lot of it. Like sometimes
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my kids, you know, it will be like, hey,
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mom, you don't need to come to this. I'm
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like, yeah, dude. I might not be here for
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the next 1, and we just all laugh. Like,
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we've we've tried to really mix humor in there
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because if you don't, then it's just
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I can set the LiveBuddy to,
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you know, kinda be obsessed with it. And I've
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also tried to volunteer for organizations where I can
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help others.
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Yeah. Because I'm gonna tell you that when I
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saw you
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in April Once ago. Yeah. In
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yeah. So months ago, like, that was the best
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time. We laughed and laughed and laughed, and we
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ate.
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And and drank. And somebody tried to drink me
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under the table, which they probably could have because
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by that time my liver was like, done.
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And I was nursing a scraped up knee in
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a battered head.
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Yeah, that was your your
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multi stake tour rue. It was. And dirty skittles,
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I don't need to hear about the helmet. Okay.
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I was gonna have before she got the helmet.
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It was hot, k? It's hot to wear the
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helmet
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in Atlanta
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while you're drinking. And then, how do you get
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Pat that, right? How do you get past the
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grill
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with the drink? A straw.
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Okay, whatever.
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Look how quickly she had that solution. She has
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a plan for this. Yeah.
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I have a couple questions.
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1 of them, as you were talking,
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and you were saying, you know, you had this
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will that you had to revise because more things
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were coming to to mind that you hadn't originally
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thought of. Was that you on your own, or
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was there anybody that was saying, hey, maybe think
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about this, or did you find? My husband and
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I talked about it. Okay. So he and I
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kinda just talked about it, and
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I have a a really great financial planner.
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And she
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when we went to her and said, you know,
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we've been looking
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in our last meeting or whatever, we talked about
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getting more life insurance once I hit the 5
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year mark
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from having the stage 1 cancer, and so we
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went to her and said, look, looking like we're
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not me to get more life insurance, but, you
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know, it's come back what should we be doing?
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And she did start asking some questions
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about that.
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Okay.
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And then the other question
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that I thought of was
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how is it something that you and your husband
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had to sit down and discuss on how you
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were gonna share that information with the rest of
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your family?
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Were you hesitant? Yeah. Yeah. Our financial planner and
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lawyer kinda facilitated some of that -- Mhmm.
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-- because we changed
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how the
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minor children will be cared for.
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Gotcha.
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We would want point they're in high school. We
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want them to stay in the house. We want
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somebody to come live in our house and get
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We don't wanna change a lot, right? If if
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for some reason something happened to both of us.
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And so we had to get a lot of
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agreements
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signed by relatives that are involved in the whole
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management of the trust, and we just trust makes
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it sound so fancy. There's not like 10000000 dollars.
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But
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so we had to engage them. So, you know,
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how we talked were you asking how we talked
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to the family about the will or how we
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talked to the family about my illness?
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Kind or both. I think
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we'd already talked to the family. We talked to
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them almost immediately.
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I talked to my children been through it once
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when they were younger or think they were in,
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maybe fifth and seventh grades. Yes. That's right. The
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first time I had cancer,
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And so we talked about it a lot.
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They were with me. I went to New York
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1 time, and I literally could not climb the
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stairs to go up in the Statue of Liberty.
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Because my pain was so bad, which we didn't
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know then it was cancer in my bones. So
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my doctor,
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my original oncologist who I don't go to anymore.
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Had said that it was, you know, because I
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was older and a little overweight and some of
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the medications medicines could cause joint pain.
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Mhmm. I wish that
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here's my PSA.
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If you know your body and it hurts,
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go to a different doctor, or literally
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for the scam. Like, I never said, you know
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what? I get it. I'm 20 pounds overweight.
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I have had cancer. I'm on medications that make
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your bones hurt, but can you just scam me?
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I should have just asked for it
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because
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the cancer becomes more more aggressive once it hits
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your soft tissue organs like your liver. And if
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I could stopped it while it was just it's
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faded to my bones. It wouldn't have changed my
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stage 4 diagnosis, but it probably would have influenced
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my lifespan
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since there's my PSA it's done, but they've been
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with me through different times when I was like,
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I can't walk up these stairs. And great, it's
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a lot of stairs, but I've done it before.
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Right? Like, so it wasn't -- Right. -- something
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that physically I felt like I couldn't do. So
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we've always been really open with our kids. Not
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traumatic. Like, I didn't give them the stats. They
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never knew.
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In 20 21, they never knew the doctor had
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told my husband and I. Mhmm.
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Mhmm.
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That it was
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2 year was,
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you know,
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the lifespan because I didn't feel like that would
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help them in any way.
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So with all of our family, we we told
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them, but really just felt like we told them
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what would help us.
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So So gotcha.
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When you're traveling? Like, do you
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get to carry, like, a special medical card with
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you or anything? Or Do. I do. I carry
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a a medical card and I carry an armband
Speaker:
because I have
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a a porta cath. That's what it's called. Most
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people just refer to it as port. It's in
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my chest,
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and that
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helps get medicines into me and helps gets blood
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blood out of me. So I carry something about
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that. I carry my blood type in case I'm
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the medicine makes you well, for me, at least,
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for a lot of people, the medicine I'm on
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on it. It's it's a commercial brand called IBRance.
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I don't Pacillip,
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I can't see the generic name for it, but
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you see the commercials on TV with people living
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a lovely life and drinking their tea in the
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garden,
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So that's the medication I wanted. Actually, it's working
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fantastically,
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but
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it it makes you anemic. I'm anemic all the
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time. So
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I've had to get blood some.
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And so I carry stuff so that if any
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of that happens, they know.
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But it it it really doesn't like, if I
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went to the and and passed out and they
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didn't have it, it wouldn't change how they treated
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me. I don't think.
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I did try to I tried to I tried
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to talk to the lady who did my plastic
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surgery for my new tatas
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about getting
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have really bad eye bags. So I I talked
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to her about maybe getting those removed. And because,
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you know, I'm like, yeah, it may only be
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another year, but it'll make me feel better. And
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she said, yeah,
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the risk of infection with your blood counts like
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they stay, just not worth it. Just live your
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life. Don't worry about the eye bags. And I
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was like, oh, So it has kind of been
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disappointing a little bit because I can't get
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I can't get cosmetics. You know, a lot of
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doctors aren't gonna touch you for cosmetic stuff. Because
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with your blood counts low and stuff like that,
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you're considered immune suppressed basically and so you hit
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hospital borne illnesses and germs are gonna affect 2
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more. So maybe I'll just get to another plastic
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surgeon thing. So I really like that it's a
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good idea.
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It was always on my list. So, you know,
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and so, yeah,
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I, you know, I'd really like to get mine,
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so I've tried that tape stuff. So so I'm
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just gonna go ahead and tell you for me
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that doesn't work. Okay. Do you see those infomercials,
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like, when you're scrolling Instagram whatever and they show
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this little piece of tape you could put on
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your eyelid and it makes your eyes look more
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open. Yeah. Yeah.
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Bought it,
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didn't work for me. I'm sure it worked for
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some.
Speaker:
Not gonna say the infomercial is misleading, but
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yeah. And it also looks like you have been
Speaker:
made on your eyes. So I I just gave
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up on that 1. We'll keep working.
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So like what are your travel plans for the
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next 5 years?
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Oh,
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I don't really plan that far ahead, but I
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wish I did.
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We're going in a couple of weeks, we're going
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to Edinburgh. Actually, for Christmas, so we have these
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really good friends, and they live out of states.
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My for instance, I was 8 years old. She
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and her husband, my husband and her husband have
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been going great, and we just happened to have
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kids literally the oldest or 2 weeks apart, girl,
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their best friends, the youngest are 3 months apart,
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girls, they're best friends. Oh. And so we do
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a lot with them. We do a lot of
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vacations, but then they actually recently came and tell
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the girls I went to Taylor
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Oh, nice.
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But, yeah, it was really nice. And so for
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Christmas, we got all 4 girls tickets to see
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Harry Stiles, a slain capsule in Ireland.
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I'm so jealous.
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Yes. So we love Harry styles. We've been to
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scene before.
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The guys didn't go before, but so so then
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we decided that we tackle a whole vacation on
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that. So for our family, my little 4 person
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family is going to Edinburgh for a few days,
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and then we're all meeting in Dublin, sharing a
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big house
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and just kind of doing
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that. And so then we started typing on other
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things like a friend of mine who lives in
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the UK and her and are gonna be just
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in Edinburgh. And a friend of ours from the
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US that we grew up with that lives on
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the West Coast now, she's gonna come in
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and they're gonna be in Dublin for 3 days
Speaker:
and gather which we're doing a day trip to
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for 1 day, so we're gonna get to see
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them. So, hey, if anybody's listening and you know
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who Booky is?
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Come on, beat us. Just join We're just having
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a big old party across the pond.
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Said, yeah, we're excited. So we're doing that. We're
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going to our family re reunion, which is at
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the beach at at
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Ratham Beach in North Carolina because it's midway between
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all the family.
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I think that's as far as we've gotten t
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rex.
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You got any suggestions after your global travels?
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If you get a chance, I would certainly tackle
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Greece
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I would do santorini.
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Only if you're, like, strong enough to do a
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lot of walking.
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1 of the Oh, yeah. Totally. 1 of the
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problems with being in Santorini,
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especially up near
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OA, is that a lot of the taxi drivers
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and private drivers can't drive right in, so you
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have to do a lot of walking. So if
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you're not really stable on your legs or you
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do a lot of walking. He walked with me.
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I'm totally I actually have so much less pain
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now that I did 2 years ago.
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Right. Yeah. I do have some norm for you
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to see my feet, but it's so much easier
Speaker:
than it was when didn't know I had cancer
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and I had cancer all through my hips and
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spine.
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It really affects your ability to walk long distances
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in a in particular climb. So we went to
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we went to Greece in Santaini
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20 years ago for our honeymoon.
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Oh. Fantastic.
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Yeah. I would definitely do the Greek Islands again.
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If I was to do it again though. I
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would do like 1 of the small cruise ships
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that goes to each of the different islands.
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To me that would have been a better place.
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And then
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my other
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most favorite place was
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outside of Paris in the Champagne
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region, Epernay.
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We evenly have a stomach. Beautiful.
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It's beautiful. And,
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you know, just doing a lot of the ma
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and pa small champagne houses,
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it's amazing.
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We've never been there. So that would be really
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cool and we'll put it on the list. So
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you can actually take a train from Paris to
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Epernay. It's about an hour.
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It's a fast train and
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beautiful countryside,
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beautiful people. Once you get outside of Paris, you
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miss all that rudeness.
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People.
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So if you get out into like the countryside
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and Epernade and rains in that whole area,
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I would
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definitely do it. So, like for us, we're actually
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going to do
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next year we're going to go back we're gonna
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do epine reams and then go back down into
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Florence.
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Yeah. Would you say like,
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I think about, like, people have these big houses
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and they're driving Mercedes and stuff like that, but
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they're totally at their, like, last dollar every month.
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Get a smaller house, get cheaper cars, and travel,
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like, there is nothing like
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experiences in my opinion.
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Yeah. Because you can take that with you, right?
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Like -- It's always there. -- memories
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and the pictures that I was able to get.
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And when I I talked to you and I
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hear your travels and,
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you know, I get a little jealous. Right?
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But, like, you're out there just living your life
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every single day. And yes, you have a terminal
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illness,
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but you make me laugh every time I talk
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to you.
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And your travels are amazing, and you're always giving
Speaker:
me really good financial number advice. So,
Speaker:
Like, Booky is the deal, man. She's the real
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deal. She's -- you're just a good person. And
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you have such a big heart.
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I mean, you're for sure inspiring
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me. I
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and 1 of those people that don't really travel
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or have the experience is because I get so
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anxious. I'm like, But I will say,
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now that I've found our passports, because we lost
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them for a minute, we found them. They're so
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good.
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We are looking at going to Greece and actually
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having -- Yeah. -- a life experience and not
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letting the anxiety hold me down.
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It's funny because with Edinburgh, I I texted a
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girlfriend who went a few years ago. And she
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said, you know, we were supposed to go to
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Edinburgh and I can't remember where else they were
Speaker:
going. She goes, we liked it so much. We
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just cancel the rest of our plans and stayed
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there. And being a somewhat anxious person myself, I
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thought, but then I thought, you know what, that's
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right. If you get somewhere you like, stay there
Speaker:
an extra week and cancel the rest of it
Speaker:
and, you know, go back. Like, there is, like,
Speaker:
I think we all tend to just try to
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over plan everything.
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And you can do a little bit
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of flexibility
Speaker:
you know, I I think that or if you
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go somewhere and you don't love it, like, if
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we go to Edinburgh, we're there for 4 or
Speaker:
5 days, we hate it. We can go on
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and go to Dublin and we'll just stay in
Speaker:
a Tensey Hotel until our Airbnb becomes available.
Speaker:
So, yeah, let the anxiety go on that 1.
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Just go with it.
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I'm trying everyday.
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III love your outlook on life. Like, we can
Speaker:
all learn, like, such important lessons from your bookie.
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And I think we can all learn lessons from
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each other. Like, that's the beautiful thing about making
Speaker:
friends and going places and meeting new people and
Speaker:
all the it's an experience. You learn from experience,
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right?
Speaker:
You know, and I think levity
Speaker:
also helps so much like it it has so
Speaker:
much healing power to it evil will laugh about
Speaker:
shit that we shouldn't laugh about.
Speaker:
But for me, it's healing for me. Right? And
Speaker:
I think it's healing for other people, like, we
Speaker:
laugh about stuff we shouldn't laugh about,
Speaker:
but it's not to make fun of it. It's
Speaker:
just to lighten
Speaker:
fighting the load and, you know, kind of clear
Speaker:
people's heads out of whatever shit's going on. Well,
Speaker:
Aynne, I think it helps you realize, like, because
Speaker:
a lot of like, self deprecating laughter. Right? Like,
Speaker:
we're laughing at ourselves. But it also helps you
Speaker:
make realize that everybody's just human. Like, we're all
Speaker:
do it right sometimes wrong sometimes. And if we
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can't laugh at it,
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that's just gotta be a terrible like, I think
Speaker:
about I have a friend who's
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who is somewhat bitter.
Speaker:
A lot. It's actually relative.
Speaker:
And I've always just thought, how do they live
Speaker:
that way? Like, it must be heavy. Like, I
Speaker:
would I I'm lucky that everybody in my world
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likes humor because
Speaker:
I think it'd be a miserable place if we
Speaker:
just had to all be bitter all the time
Speaker:
about
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things you control or
Speaker:
mistakes you made or whatever. There's no bitterness here.
Speaker:
We laugh we laugh a lot. Me and Well,
Speaker:
except we're in the old fashion. I'll take bitters
Speaker:
in all of that.
Speaker:
Very true. Very true. I had the best old
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fashioned when I was in
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Florence. They They can like Instagram it or something
Speaker:
because I was a little jealous.
Speaker:
They had CBD bitters in there. It was
Speaker:
amazing.
Speaker:
Like, the best little patch never had. Tipsey and
Speaker:
relaxed all at once? Like Yeah. Tipsey and relaxed
Speaker:
all at the same time.
Speaker:
That was the same night that I got the
Speaker:
really good picture of the moon.
Speaker:
Which was a total fluke. But, yeah, I just
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love your outlook on life. You make me want
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to live my life
Speaker:
better
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and,
Speaker:
you know, take away my boundaries and just be
Speaker:
a good person. I think for
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I have my days there. Fairness.
Speaker:
It's not all, you know, unicorns and rainbows. I
Speaker:
have my days where I get really depressed about
Speaker:
it. Like,
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Or, you know, I'll just be like, this you
Speaker:
know, I'll say something to my kids, like, well,
Speaker:
when you have kids, that and I will be
Speaker:
there all the time to take care of them.
Speaker:
And then I'm like,
Speaker:
in my head, you know, there's that little voice
Speaker:
that says,
Speaker:
boy, well, statistically,
Speaker:
that's not true. Did you just tell a lie
Speaker:
to your children? Because I always feel really big
Speaker:
about being honest. So so I think
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it's also within people's
Speaker:
rights to have have their we all have our
Speaker:
good days and our bad days. And I think
Speaker:
that, you know, sometimes you you go down that.
Speaker:
You just have to figure out
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that
Speaker:
things are good in general. You know, like, I
Speaker:
I just have to go back to and and
Speaker:
plus I'm a little bit lazy. I'm too like,
Speaker:
anger takes so much energy,
Speaker:
but I just don't have a lot of inter
Speaker:
like, I'm just too lazy for that. Like, it's
Speaker:
like, I could be mad at them. But, really,
Speaker:
what's that gonna do? You know?
Speaker:
So when you get depressed, just give me a
Speaker:
call because, you know, I'm not really going back
Speaker:
to work. Well, we're not going to even call
Speaker:
work anymore. We're going to call it knowledge transfer
Speaker:
when I go back
Speaker:
in middle July, I have 10 weeks. Give me
Speaker:
a call. I'll make you laugh. I have my
Speaker:
cell phone with me every day. And it's cheaper
Speaker:
than my therapist.
Speaker:
I might be a tiny bit of reverent, because
Speaker:
according to my wife, I'm a tiny bit of
Speaker:
reverent lately. So,
Speaker:
There you go. That kind of ties into what
Speaker:
I was gonna ask. My last question was gonna
Speaker:
be if this has always been your outlook on
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life or did you get help finding
Speaker:
this way of life?
Speaker:
You know, they say the older you are, the
Speaker:
wiser you are. Mhmm.
Speaker:
I even think about this when, like, somebody I
Speaker:
was I was in
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1 of my company's offices this week, and I
Speaker:
was driving a a rental car, and I had
Speaker:
folks following me because they didn't know where they
Speaker:
were going.
Speaker:
And somebody jetted around me on the right hand
Speaker:
side without Elaine there. It was just like her,
Speaker:
and they were, like, street racing.
Speaker:
And I thought, boy, I remember when I thought
Speaker:
that I was invincible,
Speaker:
like,
Speaker:
you know, or when I, you know,
Speaker:
did dug young stuff, right? Like, and so I
Speaker:
think some of it's just wisdom. You realize it's
Speaker:
not worth the energy to be angry or jealous
Speaker:
or like, so some of it's just wisdom and
Speaker:
some of it's therapy. Like, you know, you you
Speaker:
find a good therapist and you talk through and
Speaker:
they help you you realize that. But I also
Speaker:
have this my mom was a single mom. My
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dad passed away when I was really small, like,
Speaker:
3.
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And
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she could've immediately,
Speaker:
like, got off tried to get another husband, whatever,
Speaker:
since she went back to school, she got her
Speaker:
degree, she got a degree in education, so she
Speaker:
could be home when we were home.
Speaker:
And so she's always
Speaker:
kind of
Speaker:
been this inspirational person and that she
Speaker:
laughed at things, she was really real about things,
Speaker:
and she never
Speaker:
put her family second. So I think the part
Speaker:
of it comes from that. And by family, I
Speaker:
mean, that extension beyond
Speaker:
actual blood relatives, you know, her team, her people,
Speaker:
her squad. What what is it called these days?
Speaker:
The kids always always tell me something different. But
Speaker:
so I think that's you know, I I've been
Speaker:
very fortunate to grow around up around a lot
Speaker:
of great people and to work with a lot
Speaker:
of great people. That's awesome.
Speaker:
I've never worried about the neighborhood. I've always just
Speaker:
worried about the neighbors. That's how I call it.
Speaker:
I love that.
Speaker:
So I have 1 last question for you.
Speaker:
If you had like a quote for your wife
Speaker:
now, what would it be?
Speaker:
Remember I told you I'm good at numbers? Can
Speaker:
I give you an equation?
Speaker:
I don't know.
Speaker:
Don't procrastinate,
Speaker:
probably, is the biggest and all things. Like, usually,
Speaker:
if you just get it done regardless of what
Speaker:
it is, you're gonna feel so much better.
Speaker:
Just kinda like go with
Speaker:
go with it. Yeah. Don't procrastinate. Get it done.
Speaker:
Even the hard things, the things you don't wanna
Speaker:
do, like, that whole, like, thinking about what we
Speaker:
all think you have to adapt that discussion. Once
Speaker:
it was done, I felt much better because I
Speaker:
felt like things were in order. I could just
Speaker:
go out and live my life and if
Speaker:
something happened because we like I said, we hadn't
Speaker:
revisited it for, like, 15 years. Like, move up
Speaker:
from having babies when we wrote it to having
Speaker:
big kids and you should really be doing that
Speaker:
anyway because if you know that's an order, you
Speaker:
just don't feel so chaotic, just don't don't procrastinate
Speaker:
and and go out and live and do things
Speaker:
and
Speaker:
think about the neighbors, not the neighborhood.
Speaker:
So you're spending your money on the right things
Speaker:
experience is my huge thing. So I don't have
Speaker:
a quote.
Speaker:
It's the answer.
Speaker:
It's
Speaker:
okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're