Fitness, Freedom, and Mental Clarity: Alex's Steps to Self-Empowerment

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey there listeners, welcome to Shit Pitnils Honor Our Heads. The podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health.

[00:00:14] [SPEAKER_02]: That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles and alongside my amazing Kloho-Sue Rx, we are here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_04]: Each episode we deep dive into struggles in terms of mental health, offering practical advice and heartfelt support.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Dirty Skittles Do n' In, and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our Heads.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_04]: 3, 2, 1, 1.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome back to another episode of Shit Pitnils Honor Our Heads.

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Today we have an amazing lady by the name Alex. Alex, welcome.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me here.

[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for having me here.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh no, to be here.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Honor is all ours.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_04]: We are so not professional but it's not.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_01]: No, thank you.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my, I mean, yeah, it's just like, you know, I think this is the best thing when you just like speak about what's really on your mind.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, now Robin is like, yeah, it doesn't need to be professional.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, that's just real.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, our goal has always been to keep it very organic like a conversation with friends and wherever it goes, it goes.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_03]: Some people like it, some people don't put something.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_03]: We're here in it for ourselves selfishly.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely absolutely.

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_01]: That's so why I've always been, you know, because like, you know, maybe when I was younger, I was always like concerned.

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I go, what they're going to think or what they're going to say whatever you know, as time passes, you know, and I got to get to tonight.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: What about swear?

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_03]: You can swear.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_03]: We sell the time.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_03]: Because she won't literally, you're all the time.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, you know, it just comes up like another one of me like, you know, watching what I say.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Totally fine.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_03]: Get it out.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_04]: She says shit.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_04]: I say fuck, you know, it's so safe.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so what I was saying and then obviously we asked time pass that we were getting a little bit of more experience

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and you know, and life keeps you.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Then you know, you slow, it's not really like learned not to give you a fuck.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And then when I finally stop people, talk about what people say and what people think.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: That's when you like feel like you unstoppable, you know, like unless the best for your mindset as well.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Because then you can just do what you need to do.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, there is going to be people who are going to appreciate it a lot.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_01]: But there's going to be people who have hate on you and that's fine.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Give them the way.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know?

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Great.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_03]: Do you think when you finally stop giving a fuck, it's when you put yourself hers?

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's been a, it's been a times when you know, I will used to do everything for everyone.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_01]: So first it was like my parents, you know, my parents, that was three of us.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Me, I'm the eldest, then my sister and my brother.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: And my parents were really like religious and kind of strict on, you know, how you.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I was not allowed to have a boyfriend or nothing like that because, you know, we need to go college first.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, get your education, whatever.

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_01]: And I was just leaving like in a cage and always under there in influence.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_01]: And I was scared, you know, to say something or do what I really wanted to do because, you know,

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that was them.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I needed to please them.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_01]: So there was the parents and obviously because I was not really allowed to have a boyfriend.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And then I wanted one because everyone has one, you know,

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: everybody's like, you 18, you know, everybody's good boyfriend.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Then I'm like, okay, so I met someone and then, you know, I mean, I'm like, I can't tell my parents because they're going to be like,

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_01]: very angry with me.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_01]: So he goes like, well, let's do it.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_01]: They way, I'm going to go to them.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to tell them that we serious and whatever.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So I was scared.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: You went to my parents and he kind of said, you know, this is serious.

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to marry her like so all religions.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01]: So that was for them, okay, if it's going to be proper promptly, then we can, you know,

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really into that.

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: So I was kind of relieved.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01]: But then again, I wasn't sure if he's the one but because, you know,

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I was relieved about married when I was 20, which is very young, you know,

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and there was everything because I was trying to please all the people for as my parents.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And then obviously it was him, we got married and we moved together.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And then I started to realize like we're so apart.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Like we haven't got much in common.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_01]: We don't like suit as a couple, you know, and there was coming on slowly slowly.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And I never had the chance to proper like, no who he is.

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then obviously I got pregnant after.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And I had my first child when I was 21.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_01]: It was all, please.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I know my daughter is 21 now.

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And if I think about her having a child.

[00:05:36] Oh yeah.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_03]: Mary, the Ann having a child.

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's having a child.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_01]: And then obviously it was all the problems coming out.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_01]: He had a very bad drinking problem.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and it was just going out of control.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Every single day like literally, I just couldn't deal with it anymore.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and he wouldn't admit he's got a problem.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_01]: And then it was just getting worse and worse and I was like, okay, well, we need to do something.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And then somehow, I don't know how because we were on the edge.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I got pregnant again.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And then yeah.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Right.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Who wants?

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: So he was nine months or ten months, my son, once I'm pregnant again.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't really do much about it because, you know,

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: what could I do?

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_01]: It was just half the half.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: My mom said, I think it's going to be okay.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, well, my mom is not going to be okay.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I always listen to you guys and it's never been on.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I look at me now.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Look at me now, mom.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_01]: So it was just, it was just, you know, I had to have a, when she was born or something.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Like she's all right.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, she knows.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, because she always asked me about those stories.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Mom tell us, tell us, I was like, I told you this million times.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Like why do you want to hear it again?

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And so when she was like, maybe nine or ten months,

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I decided to leave because I'm like, I can't do this.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_01]: No, I try to help him.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, he doesn't want to make his go a problem.

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I can't be bringing up those children in this atmosphere.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: It's just not looking good.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so I took the kids and I moved to England because that was from Poland.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Right?

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: So well, she was nine months.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_01]: He was like, we're here and a half two years.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Something like that.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, over to them.

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And the big journey from Poland to England.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, actually my sister was already here.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_01]: And then so there was easier to obviously like, kind of sent to.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_01]: There wasn't very easy because obviously I had to find a job.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, we have to find the kids like morning and then my sister afternoon, whatever.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_01]: We managed somehow. We managed.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, he tried to came.

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_01]: He tried to come to you cave and then it didn't last long because she found himself.

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Friends and never really seen kids and then got drinking again.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's just one of talking about it.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they don't have to.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's just whatever.

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_01]: But then yeah, so I stayed with kids and then I'm just so close.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And I've just felt that he had to go back to Poland because he got himself in a trouble.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Then we haven't seen him since.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, I think the alcohol kind of took over.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, also whatever. So I had to do what I had to do.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_01]: But it was obviously I met someone.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it was going on very quickly very quickly.

[00:08:38] [SPEAKER_01]: And then he and England.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's when I got pregnant again with my youngest one.

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Relationship like was very toxic.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_01]: But I was trying to do everything like for him.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_01]: So first thing.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Then for the husband, you know, obviously I've got kids.

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Then everything for them.

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Never thought about myself.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Then again, for the second part.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, you know, who was like a abusive and control freak.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, so it was just a nightmare.

[00:09:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And eventually when my youngest one was too and I finished that.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_01]: That's when I said, I need to do something.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, because always a people.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Then it's been always worrying about what people will say.

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, they opinion and everything.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And since then, you know, I started to learn how to actually think about myself first.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Because if I think about myself and look after myself first,

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, what is going to be beneficial for those who I love and who I around me.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Like my kids, for example, you know, if I'm not going to make sure that I'm a good first,

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, how they can possibly, you know, see and have a good influence on them.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_01]: So and that's when it was.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_01]: That was all by myself with all three of them started to find me working on myself.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And that was a great discovery.

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_03]: And why do you think you couldn't do it before?

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, but we see that's what it is because of this influence on people.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: You're that subconsciously, you want to make sure that you know, they approve.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, with whatever you decisions you make and then I realize that like,

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: what they don't need to approve anything.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and that's what it was because when obviously I said to my mom, this is one doing this is what I'm doing.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_01]: And the end she was like, okay, you know, you're grown woman now, whatever.

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_01]: And I was so happy at the beginning.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I said, I'm going to put myself like, why didn't I do this before?

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but then better later than ever.

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_03]: I guess yeah, for sure.

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_03]: Always it's always better to do it than to never do it, right?

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_03]: Especially if it's so beneficial.

[00:10:59] [SPEAKER_03]: I decided it.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_03]: Feel after you had that conversation about relief.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I was always say, first of all, I was really scared.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_01]: What she's going to say and you know, she was my, my rock.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I cared more about what she will think than anyone else.

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_01]: So that's probably it was a little bit of like a little bit of fear.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Like what is going to happen, you know, she took it.

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, amazingly like you know what I'm here for you.

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_01]: She looks care she loves the youngest one, you know, she's always supported now and amazing.

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_01]: With that it was just a little bit different because you know, with that he's still around.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_01]: He's still there, but he was never really supportive before even, you know,

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_01]: if it comes to like provide for the family, you know,

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_01]: she says like, well, it's too late now.

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_00]: She just comes and see me or she just comes and see my sister or like, you know, just in the

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_00]: way, I'm like, I don't care.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But I understand, you know, because I saw her.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she's been going through and I'm like, you know, if you need to go,

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_01]: now she's for example, went to the seaside just by herself for a week,

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and she's still good.

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'll stress really for that.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm supporting this hundreds of hundreds of.

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, I love it.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_03]: Good for her.

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_03]: You know, so she wants is going to do it.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_01]: That's it.

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_04]: And you know, the apple doesn't call far from a tree because you basically did the same thing, right?

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_04]: You walked away from two situations and said, you know what, I need a fucking take care of me.

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I need to find my happiness.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't give a shit with other people say because it really doesn't fucking apply to them, right?

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_04]: You have your own life.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_04]: And I love that about you.

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I love that you, you kicked it.

[00:12:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Just took the bull by the horns and just said, you know what, we're going to fix a situation.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And you feel better for it, right?

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Because now you're not people pleasing.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_04]: You're not, you don't care what, you know, X Wayne's.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_04]: He say, you're doing it for you.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's where the, I don't give a fuck comes from because you, you found that before I found that right?

[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_04]: So I didn't get there until I turned 60.

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_04]: And you're in the end.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_01]: You see, as we say, better later than never.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_01]: But even now, you know, I've got clients which are like over 60 and they want to make a change now.

[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, you know what, this is fucking beautiful because,

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah, some of the young girls, they still, you know, don't understand that, you know what, they've got that opportunity when they're young.

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And they still refuse to do that, you know?

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_01]: So for someone who's older and they still want to make a positive change.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, amazing.

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's like it's poetic because I would rather even if I was, I had two days left to live.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_03]: I would rather make that move now and experience it for two days than to never experience it ever, right?

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_03]: So I get it.

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm curious when you, when you started making decisions for you and putting you first,

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_03]: did you learn anything about yourself that you'd never knew?

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_03]: It's I did.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_01]: So so how it all started first?

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_01]: It was, I wanted to make a change because obviously I was all by myself, what the kids did.

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to make a change, but I didn't take action towards it.

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so I still had like rents, but they were not really friends because they were just only good friends when there was a drink on the table.

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, what are we doing with drinking in our solet?

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_01]: When there was a drink, you know, we drinking in our friends and let's go.

[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_01]: So I got myself, you know, in a few months like, you know, drinking there drinking whenever and then you know,

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_01]: you go to this stage when I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, do you really want to have this life?

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, where all you go to do with your friends is just getting pissed.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And then I thought, if I'm not going to make a change now, then when?

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_01]: So that's when I was signed up to the gym and I said, you know, I need to maybe change the way I look first and,

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, maybe make myself feel better because it's just not, it's not going the right direction.

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_01]: And so I did that. I didn't know I was doing it first.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to believe that I'm doing something but nothing was changing till I signed up with a coach and he was very strict.

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And he told me the things which I was like, this is bullshit.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to do that because I've never done this before.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_01]: But because nothing has changed before, I'm not going to do that.

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_01]: That's my only choice now. Like whatever.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. And it actually started to work and because I started to work on myself, you know, you develop that resilience, you know, that you know,

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_01]: you and discipline because you want to get whatever your, obviously physical body and physical appearance.

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And without even realizing that this is going to happen, you become stronger emotionally and mentally, you know.

[00:16:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And then I was like, if I can push myself to do this and this and this, you know, then it wasn't that I was coming home and it was easier for me to make other decisions.

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, and it wasn't easy and first because, you know, this willingness to be paid,

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I needed to go to work and everything and before it was just so overwhelming and I was like feeling sorry for myself,

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_01]: because I'm going to forget how the fuck am I going to do this? You know, but because I started with this journey,

[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_01]: it was like easy to navigate, you know, it become that I didn't even realize that this change can happen and then more with it.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, the more of this resilience and discipline and you know, the will to like push through, you know, after the developed

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's crazy to think, because this is what I'm trying to teach my ladies now, some of them they obviously believe, some of them, not so much, but you know.

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, one needs to like grow up to this change eventually and you know, it's different for everyone.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm happy to help them and then yeah, and by you know, and the kids could see the change as well.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_01]: There was no more drinking, absolutely no more drinking, you know, mum is getting busy everybody is just saying, like, how did you turn your laugh around 360 degrees?

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_01]: How did you do that? I said, you know, first of all, it was just the training, you know,

[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_01]: and I didn't care if I have someone there or everyone, he's saying a man wanted me to be lazy, she's been up with, I didn't fucking care.

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: That's like, you know, I don't care, I'm good.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I've the verge of this new mindset and the way I deal with things, I'm like, if I have one, I do, if I don't, then I don't.

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't care. Yeah, that's incredible.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_01]: That's what it was and I was by myself for a very long time and then I even had clients and she's like signing up to Tinder or there's a new tell me, you know, all the time like everyday, like,

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I was on this day, you know, this day, I'm a 24-Keyway in the search and there is a right one, he will come eventually, you know, because that's what happens, they come and expect it.

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and if you if you chasing or you're alive, then you know, that's when you know, it's not going to come because you put in too much focus on it, let go, don't give a fuck.

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_04]: And then we'll do that is, yeah, that is the last that I love this, I like sure my spirit animal.

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_04]: I love you. Yeah, like I said, you know, don't wait until you're 60 and not give a fuck.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_04]: But I will tell you, the minute I stop giving a fuck about a whole lot of things.

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_04]: It's absolutely free. Yeah, absolutely free. Like, you know what? I put up some boundaries. Yes, I've lost some friends because we're in but I'm a happy happy and you know what, that's what matters.

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_04]: So this is, I'm happy and the fact that my wife sees how happy I am even she said this is the happiest I've seen you in 20 years.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you. See you. Thanks.

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_04]: See dirty skills. You need to start not giving a fuck.

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm making a start now.

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I do small stuff.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I think my problem was not giving a fuck is I need to do it consistently. Yes. So so in that's for everybody listening to right like you do get to a point and I think I've got in there probably a year ago where you actually longer than that who my fucking getting because you said something that reminded me of when that sort of change

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_03]: I was very guilty of diving 100% into other people, right? Like my relationships. I was 100% in oh you like this may too. You want to do that me too and like I lost me right and it's a really bad breakup to

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_03]: I told you Rex this. Yeah, it's a realize oh I don't know who I am anymore went to therapy with the work through that shit out and then I remember getting to a point where I realized I'm happy with me was my life with the choices I've made for me and if somebody comes in right.

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, this is me. I'm not going to be right. So that's when it started but I think for listeners knowing that it's consistency because you have to choose you every day and make it whether it's a small stuff.

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_03]: Right. Yes. Right.

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you know sometimes we forget and we act on emotions. Yeah, so we will be consistent with not given a fuck and that is based on emotions. Yeah, but then when we feel down again, we become less consistent.

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is what we need to try and do to regardless of if we're on a high or in a low still be consistent. You know with that original, no given a fuck.

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Because you know that really helps and as you say, I've been for the breakup as well. And I need it to know who the fuck I am and I need it.

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm for this to know who I am and what I really want from you not mom not my ex not my other ex not him.

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And then it's like you can't possibly you know be in a good relationship and relationship and a healthy relationship in the future.

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_01]: If you don't know who the fuck you are for yeah, I know you knew before that's why all those relationships things right now.

[00:21:58] [SPEAKER_01]: So now I've been on for a very very long time and under the search and I was focusing on my clients or my job, you know, travel the load and everything and then this one coming through.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_01]: We could hear like you know, you know, I never even thought that something like that is going to happen to me again because I was good and I find you who I was and I was good on my own and if I'm but I find someone then obviously it's not up in the bones by for don't I'm good.

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah yeah and I think and I don't know if you can relate to it but when you find somebody.

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_03]: I remember realizing it's different because I want to share who I am with this person versus before it was I want to be a part of what you have going on.

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so that really really be who you are. I want to do what you do.

[00:22:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and that's how you serve and everything what is about me it just kind of fading away right now happening, you know, because we should be like.

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And partnership yeah this you do that I do this to do that we will understand each other and you know and it's beautiful.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like you know what's all for him right away for her or no other way, you know so yeah how do you feel it now.

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_03]: Me, you're yeah so still healing or I think I'm still growing I don't think I'm healing.

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_03]: I have a pretty good grasp of who I am I smile as I'm thinking about this because I discover a little bit more about shit that I like.

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, that I laugh at myself not because I'm just like dude.

[00:23:54] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm no longer worried about other people think about this thing.

[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, I love doing this so much it's fucking hilarious. So I'm at that stage of like this is where I'm at yeah and I think my my health journey continues right like I realized after kind of working through some mental shit because your mind and your body.

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_03]: It's weird how the two can work together work against each other in some way and if I'm in a good mental space just like what you said I'm ready to like tackle it I'm consistent my diet has been consistent for a while working out that fluctuates right because.

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we have very bad dates and then I'm like the last thing I want to do is to sweat but I remember how good it feels when you're in there and you're working out and you're pushing through.

[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, challenges that like like something as simple as lifting like a heavy weight when I remember when I started thinking I can do that I just don't want to and then I went to try it.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, oh shit, I really can't I'm struggling and then you're consistent and then you're like, oh, look at me. I can do it now and realizing like it's almost conditioning your mind.

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_03]: Today you can do this and it just translates into other shit in your life.

[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_01]: That's exactly what is for me, it was it's so I started to do this because I wanted to change how I look because I didn't like how I look you know those wrongs whatever was not even the case now now it's my therapy.

[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's my therapy and nobody can tell me any difference. You're whenever I'm going about day and I don't want to go there and I don't want to work out and I don't want to do this you know I know that if I do is going to change.

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, my mindset and it's great in a different mood because you know what exercising releases and their things.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then you feel automatically better so for that one hour when you go there you forget about everything what is currently happening.

[00:25:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah and going fucking smashed this work out going down not only will make you feel better meant to be but obviously it's going to be beneficial for your brain.

[00:26:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I was tired of fact.

[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's what I was looking at.

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_01]: You know what?

[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like a side of it.

[00:26:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I do it for mental.

[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. I think that you know what I can actually after all this years you know, I never you know up also discovered that I actually look is not everyone's doing this because they love they like it or they love it.

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, sometimes they just do it because they think they have to with me it was developed to that love and I really loved that and I what it did to me like mentally.

[00:26:43] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so I wanted to share with all the ladies because I know how many ladies they are struggle so much you know with them.

[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Like yourself finding who they are or like you can have your day body or they're not happy with you know surroundings whatever so I thought you know if I could do that.

[00:27:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Those ladies can do too, you know I can throw them.

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I can help them how to do this and this is you know and I never thought it's going to be you know like something what I'm going to be doing for living.

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You know I had to tell you some mobile phones.

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like it is in a mobile shop.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's a phone right.

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And a lot that we call it mobile phone.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_01]: It's been so long for six years and I used to have to deal with.

[00:27:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Think it customer.

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_05]: Right.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope on this is the best you know I mean, and then I don't know what I did I like it no I had to do what I had to do.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And just only you know after I was like well, if I've made me up then discovered no I don't want to do that.

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be someone who helps people and show them that it can't be done and if I can just save one person.

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and enough you know.

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_01]: So so that's what it does and I feel it's my life is same my life all this you know training.

[00:28:07] [SPEAKER_01]: You know it's as I said and discipline and I still do you know it's still not always rainbow and sunshine.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, this my kids are grown ups now so and they're really good you know so my daughter she just graduated from university.

[00:28:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, a couple of weeks ago my eldest one he never went to uni but I never pushed him to do that because like if you don't want to do it you just finish college whatever.

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_01]: But he was very small than he loved right he had crazy ideas.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_01]: You know for the writing so he wrote them role that he was very into this line thing and copyrighting and everything now free four years down the line he's 23 now and he's got his own copywriting agency and he's making crazy money you know because she turned.

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_01]: You know his passion into the income and I thought you know what I couldn't do that bad then.

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Right they all right you know.

[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Like somehow that's it worked out.

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_01]: No, she's getting all that shit out being through and you know being all by myself and then you know ups and downs up and down like you know we ever flexed in your kids like you know some of the kids you know might be shit about them.

[00:29:30] [SPEAKER_01]: You know that bad.

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_01]: She done all right he's done all right the youngest one obviously he is just only 16.

[00:29:38] [SPEAKER_01]: He's doing well I mean he he's not into obviously all this like boys can get out or.

[00:29:46] [SPEAKER_01]: But they call it Jen Jen see.

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I know I don't understand it.

[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I mean you just whatever man yeah.

[00:29:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so knowing that obviously they know where came from and you know the roots and they must have observed you know some good stuff you know that they.

[00:30:07] [SPEAKER_01]: So that that's that's a kind of problem moment as well.

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And now I'm in a position I'm still feeling okay.

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm someone who really like you know I'll answer with me which I didn't with or would you know they grown ups so.

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I say to them sometimes you know what we're going away as you next week.

[00:30:27] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:30:32] [SPEAKER_03]: It's mama's time.

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not really.

[00:30:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Business you know I've been looking after you see next week.

[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, I mean I love that.

[00:30:43] [SPEAKER_03]: You're like I'm a grown-ass at all I will do but I see fit and I'll be back.

[00:30:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I mean I have to go back to where you were saying about you know the gym and just helping you mentally so when I first you know I'd start to see the therapist the day after.

[00:31:00] [SPEAKER_04]: My mental breakdown then I joined the gym and the reason I went to the gym is it was winter winter here and I needed to be able to get out of the house and just clear my mind.

[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_04]: So I would go for an hour and I wouldn't think about anything else besides not falling off the treadmill and not dropping away down my way like that was my way of.

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm clearing my head right and I went to the gym religiously for six months.

[00:31:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and then and then I pull back a little bit because I have really bad arthritis of my knees.

[00:31:33] [SPEAKER_04]: But I started to find other things that would like make me happy so spending time in nature and things like that but it was a way for me to just stop the shit that was going on in my head.

[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it's feel better but the other side of that is that laughing laughing kind of started to do the same thing for me because it like took away some of that quarters all and raised my endorphins and it just made me feel better.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_04]: So 30 skills and I would talk to each other every morning before work and it was like what it would sometimes it'd be like an hour right because you was a shitty job.

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_04]: So it would laugh and laugh and laugh like and it would just kind of set the trajectory for the day so for me you know the combination of the working out in the laughing and just like sharing my journey.

[00:32:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Help me get to that point where I just did not give a fuck.

[00:32:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm doing this.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.

[00:32:37] [SPEAKER_03]: So how do you help people not give a fuck today?

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_01]: It's not always easy because you know some of the ladies you know what they are going through those phases when they still need to learn.

[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_01]: So obviously through the self development you know so first it always starts like they know happy with the body or they too heavy or they want to lose some weight.

[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Or they just like literally always out of breath even when they go to like little walk let's say one two minutes you know and they want to think obviously they don't.

[00:33:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Good about they don't live you know into the good quality of life that's how it starts is always like the physical thing because I don't think anyone.

[00:33:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Jones you know this fit and fitness journey realizes that it actually has a huge impact on your mental health as well.

[00:33:29] [SPEAKER_01]: You learn that after that's what happened to me.

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_01]: I even you just wanted to look different I just want to write you know that was my main concern.

[00:33:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Also that's that's how I do it.

[00:33:40] [SPEAKER_01]: And now as first at the gym floor like literally face with clients and I love that I've done this for over 10 years.

[00:33:48] [SPEAKER_01]: You know I've been so I'm going through the gym for six a.m.

[00:33:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Literally sometimes I was leaving like six p.m.

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You know with clients one second third and everything you know and I've been doing this for over 10 years and I'm really loved it but then I go to the stage like.

[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_01]: It's exhausting first you know from six to sing and now slowly losing myself again you know because for 12 hours every single day.

[00:34:15] [SPEAKER_01]: You know sometimes those ladies they just come for the session and they forget about everything till the next session you know.

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Right.

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_01]: But what I could do what I could do so I wanted you know to maybe like make even more change and that's why I started to obviously do online coaching because with online coaching you know I think.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_01]: There is more accountability around it you know so you can be in a constant touch with the ladies you know.

[00:34:42] [SPEAKER_01]: You can you know provide them with a plan check on them every day if needed you know and then you know when they've got someone at the back and you know they more likely to stick to the plan and they more like to see the results.

[00:34:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Whether if it's obviously the physical result or eventually you know the ones which being with me for longer.

[00:35:01] [SPEAKER_01]: You know they also learn like you know what this is.

[00:35:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Making me think differently as well you know I'm so happy now I'm like no making different decisions so.

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_01]: So this is what I do you know and it's not always easy of course it's not easy but who said it's gonna be easy.

[00:35:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:35:17] [SPEAKER_01]: No it's not challenging then it's if it's that was the saying which is always in my head like if it doesn't challenge you that's not changing.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_01]: If you just always stay in the same position so it's good to do challenging things yeah.

[00:35:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah no matter how difficult in my scene but at the end those difficult things is always what's gonna make your work.

[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah that was what you do something like I don't know if you know this song.

[00:35:47] [SPEAKER_01]: By adjusting timber like mirrors.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_01]: And this is like also must must be like 10 years old now and now remember every single time I heard it.

[00:35:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll cry like a bitch.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_01]: He was making me so emotional yeah.

[00:36:05] [SPEAKER_01]: My boy was like why you like this song so much and then I'm like it's not even the song but it's like making the message.

[00:36:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah the message behind it is like making you realize that we've got only one life.

[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's only one life and makes you appreciate life so much because like it says in this song eventually you're gonna get old.

[00:36:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna lose people and then you dead you don't.

[00:36:31] [SPEAKER_01]: That just makes you think like you know appreciate where you have everything good day.

[00:36:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah and push through because we've been given this life for a reason.

[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no no to waste it you know what if it's harder than be hard because sometimes it has to be harder for them to be better and then better and then better you know.

[00:36:52] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah that's why I think about it too is like I started somewhere along the line to think about life.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_03]: Well for so it's beautiful right like just a concept you're born.

[00:37:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah you live love you're happy whatever that journey looks like a new die right.

[00:37:09] [SPEAKER_03]: It sounds very like brutal but you have a beginning and an end and it's like a story you have a beginning and an end.

[00:37:16] [SPEAKER_03]: And if you are reading your own your own story do you want to read fucking 40 chapters of like.

[00:37:24] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah not challenging yourself yeah like fuck that was born.

[00:37:28] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_03]: Like you don't have every single chapter and every single same shit every fucking.

[00:37:35] [SPEAKER_00]: We'll read that.

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah exactly like if you hear yourself don't even want to read your own fucking book.

[00:37:41] [SPEAKER_03]: Dude make a change.

[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_03]: It like make a thing.

[00:37:45] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah got it.

[00:37:46] [SPEAKER_04]: You gotta you gotta try it.

[00:37:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you know even if 60 I'm trying to sit on 61 now.

[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm trying to spread a dandy year.

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_04]: You know I try and do things differently I like kind change of that I hope my story is fun to read.

[00:38:05] [SPEAKER_04]: But you know I think about like our episode we did with bookies my friend.

[00:38:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Our list who had terminal breast cancer.

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_04]: And she had she passed away about a month after we recorded.

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_04]: But let the lessons that she taught us in that in that episode will stick with me forever.

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_04]: And you know what I live for the moment right and just don't fucking know what's going to happen tomorrow.

[00:38:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Or I'm saying yeah and you know making making good choices.

[00:38:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean sometimes we make bad choices okay I'm gonna admit I you know.

[00:38:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay we're back and do we are back.

[00:38:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I'm gonna go back and relive my life okay because I think they all all those lessons taught me something.

[00:38:48] [SPEAKER_04]: But you know I I have a good life.

[00:38:52] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm in a really good place and I go through a lot of shit to get here and a lot of therapy.

[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_04]: But I get to do something with my best friend that it really really was never on the will we never on the vision board.

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_04]: But I'm I'm learning right I'm learning that like some of the stuff I'm doing is actually good for me right and.

[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm willing to try it and if I fucking suck at it I fucking suck but you know what it's my life.

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And the second time you do is you're gonna be better and then right I mean though would you gonna be even better you know me and it's an end yet.

[00:39:25] Yeah.

[00:39:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah it's like the podcast the first I don't know first year was.

[00:39:32] [SPEAKER_04]: So you know now we're getting our group but.

[00:39:36] [SPEAKER_04]: You know listen to your story Alex it just it makes me.

[00:39:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Bankhole that you you push through and that you helped yourself in that.

[00:39:46] [SPEAKER_04]: That they aren't of not giving up like I should.

[00:39:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Honestly people.

[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not really talking about now and don't wait until you turn 60.

[00:39:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.

[00:39:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you know, if you're one marriage.

[00:40:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Right the second you know I'm like failed relationship or I don't wait to that if if you just.

[00:40:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Can not give a fuck before and think about yourself what's good for you first you know you can prevent all those things we did it well but that's good because you know at least we learn from it right.

[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And also I think you know those those experiences you know they kind of like needed because they made us who we are right now.

[00:40:27] [SPEAKER_03]: Right.

[00:40:28] [SPEAKER_01]: So you know so you know you might think you know we should have the difference but you know at the end of the day you know they made us who we.

[00:40:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know much stronger you know much wider and then basically some people fucking almost.

[00:40:44] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

[00:40:44] [SPEAKER_03]: And our listeners far listeners and you are hearing this episode right now.

[00:40:49] [SPEAKER_03]: This is your sign to make a fucking change and stop giving a fuck.

[00:40:53] [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, your journey was your journey and we've made it here now.

[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And made it here and like really to love yourself because that art of not giving a fuck is the ultimate gift you can give yourself.

[00:41:09] [SPEAKER_04]: That's it.

[00:41:09] [SPEAKER_04]: It is absolutely free.

[00:41:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely. And you know what if you lose friends or family members out of it.

[00:41:18] [SPEAKER_01]: So what that's the real the true friends in the first place.

[00:41:23] [SPEAKER_01]: It would happen to have their.

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_04]: You moved on to the next chapter in your life and you know make make those good choices and be resilient like that's art the art of not giving a fuck.

[00:41:36] [SPEAKER_04]: I love that the art of not giving a fuck.

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_04]: That's right.

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I should name my book the art of not giving a fuck.

[00:41:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Art of not giving a fuck.

[00:41:45] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.

[00:41:45] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, there's one you know.

[00:41:46] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a book is.

[00:41:48] [SPEAKER_04]: But you know why we took that we took that and loved ourselves.

[00:41:52] [SPEAKER_04]: That was our that's our former self love.

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And like setting up those boundaries boundaries are my king.

[00:42:01] [SPEAKER_04]: And I got they are brilliant really do not wait until 60 to send the set them.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:42:08] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just checking on these are my life lessons.

[00:42:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, exactly so we can we can all learn from each other.

[00:42:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:42:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_01]: We don't like even if there was like even to my ladies like you're like in your 40s or in your 50s.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_01]: You know and you stuck in like and happy marriage or or something is not going your direction is not really where you want to be or what you want to do.

[00:42:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Like don't wait to do what you need to do for yourself if you need to leave leave if you need to do.

[00:42:36] [SPEAKER_01]: You know something what people will not approve for you to feel better.

[00:42:40] [SPEAKER_01]: It's fucking do it.

[00:42:44] [SPEAKER_03]: All right, I got some questions for you.

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_03]: First question.

[00:42:50] [SPEAKER_03]: What has been the hardest lesson that you have had to learn so far?

[00:42:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I think you know that hard on.

[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_01]: So you put me on the spot and there was many.

[00:43:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Is it like you put that high one?

[00:43:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:43:12] [SPEAKER_01]: There you go.

[00:43:13] [SPEAKER_01]: No, you come still to the lunch is bad.

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Mark is getting dark outside so I can see that you know I'm a little bit in the dark as well.

[00:43:22] [SPEAKER_01]: That's what that will do.

[00:43:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, they were your friend.

[00:43:25] [SPEAKER_01]: They're hard to listen.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I've had to learn.

[00:43:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I think to realize that you know where you don't need a partner or like a significant order to actually make it in life.

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so that doesn't this makes me just really sad like sometimes you know what as I said.

[00:43:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Or like some of my clients or some of my family or friends, you know, they stay with someone because they rely on them that much.

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_01]: And they think you know, I can't do without him.

[00:43:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I have to be with him because how is it going to look or how am I going to get on or I don't know how I'm going to do this, you know.

[00:44:01] [SPEAKER_01]: So that was the hardest decision for me to learn because I thought at some point, you know, I call it kids, you know, I need someone there.

[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_01]: You don't, you know, as soon as you learn who you really are and obviously is a process, you know, going to know that way to why as we already spoke about.

[00:44:20] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's a little process and people are in patience and they don't have patience to go through that process.

[00:44:27] [SPEAKER_01]: But once you find me there and realize, you know what, you can do it on your own.

[00:44:31] [SPEAKER_01]: You've got what it takes, you know, to make it in life, whether you do it on your own or with a partner.

[00:44:39] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, if you know happy and if something is not going into the right direction and you feel like you can't breathe, then you go to come out.

[00:44:48] [SPEAKER_01]: And in my field, difficult at the time and that was very difficult, you know, decision for me to make or lessen for me to make, you know.

[00:44:56] [SPEAKER_01]: But now I'm thinking, you know, there was the best decision of how to make.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you know, that as I said, just made me who who I am right now.

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, I feel like I feel like that's that totally, it's almost like a metaphor, right?

[00:45:15] [SPEAKER_03]: And you're doing it for you and you're being it by yourself and you're telling yourself, if you can do this, you can do this and you're pushing through it.

[00:45:24] [SPEAKER_03]: And then on the other hand, if you're doing something where you know you need somebody there.

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, to spot your or whatever.

[00:45:31] [SPEAKER_03]: You also are picking that moment to be courageous to ask for help, right?

[00:45:37] [SPEAKER_03]: I just need you here in case I fall back.

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:45:40] [SPEAKER_03]: So it's all very metaphorical, right?

[00:45:42] [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I was very, yeah, reminding your body.

[00:45:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Last hit.

[00:45:46] [SPEAKER_01]: I will totally agree.

[00:45:48] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

[00:45:48] [SPEAKER_03]: Last question.

[00:45:49] [SPEAKER_03]: Hopefully this one's on.

[00:45:51] [SPEAKER_03]: This is not too.

[00:45:52] [SPEAKER_01]: No, this lighting is not very good.

[00:45:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Doing that the faces, right?

[00:45:59] [SPEAKER_01]: On the pulmet.

[00:45:59] [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, no, no, no.

[00:46:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Just audio, you're just audio.

[00:46:02] [SPEAKER_04]: But if you want to video, I can certainly send it to you.

[00:46:08] [SPEAKER_03]: If you want to forever.

[00:46:11] [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a piece of advice.

[00:46:14] [SPEAKER_03]: How old would you go back to?

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_03]: So how old are you when you're giving yourself advice and what would you say?

[00:46:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, probably when I was 20.

[00:46:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, when I was 20, and I had so much pressure on me from my parents.

[00:46:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then putting they believes and they rose me.

[00:46:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Mostly it was like the father because my mom was like,

[00:46:36] [SPEAKER_01]: She was just what she just wanted a piece.

[00:46:38] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, she was like kind of under his influence because you know,

[00:46:43] [SPEAKER_01]: just to touch him up.

[00:46:44] [SPEAKER_01]: You're not for it.

[00:46:48] [SPEAKER_01]: So when I was 20 and I remember even when I was game married and I was to

[00:46:54] [SPEAKER_01]: only 20 in my head, I was going through like,

[00:46:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Am I really supposed to be here like it doesn't feel like that, you know?

[00:47:02] [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't feel like that.

[00:47:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So even then what I would say to myself then when I was 20,

[00:47:09] [SPEAKER_01]: like if you don't feel that this is right and if it doesn't

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_01]: feel that it lands with you, you know?

[00:47:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't do it.

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you don't need to worry about and I was willing because

[00:47:21] [SPEAKER_01]: of all this visitors came and those 60 people come to my wedding.

[00:47:25] [SPEAKER_01]: You know?

[00:47:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm having those thoughts and I was like, I can't do anything now

[00:47:30] [SPEAKER_01]: because they all here and which brings us back to what we spoke about at the beginning.

[00:47:36] [SPEAKER_01]: So if I could give my advice like if the young people now,

[00:47:41] [SPEAKER_01]: they feel something that they being not forced but like they do something under the pressure

[00:47:47] [SPEAKER_01]: but they don't feel within themselves that is something right for them like,

[00:47:51] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, then don't just do what you feel like.

[00:47:55] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I can't tell what they love.

[00:47:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're probably.

[00:48:00] [SPEAKER_01]: So I think about it and I say that to my kids as well.

[00:48:03] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, because sometimes you know, they might make some like little stupid mistakes

[00:48:08] [SPEAKER_01]: wherever and I was like, listen, I'm trying to prevent you from making those mistakes.

[00:48:12] [SPEAKER_01]: I did, you know?

[00:48:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I know obviously sometimes you know, people need to go through something themselves

[00:48:20] [SPEAKER_01]: in order to learn.

[00:48:23] [SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes it can be prevented, right?

[00:48:25] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm saying, yeah.

[00:48:26] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, how are your intuition?

[00:48:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Because 99.99% of the time, your intuition is telling you the right thing.

[00:48:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I think you the fucking truth.

[00:48:38] [SPEAKER_04]: That's what it is.

[00:48:39] Yes.

[00:48:40] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what you have to do.

[00:48:41] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, some people like don't want to,

[00:48:44] [SPEAKER_01]: or like they've refused to believe that this is the truth.

[00:48:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Like if you're going to tell me something, listen to it.

[00:48:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Because my intuition like told me so many stuff before and I never listened

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_01]: because again, I was worrying what the people would say or the friends who are so

[00:49:01] [SPEAKER_01]: what the husband's kids or the partner, whatever.

[00:49:04] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, always for people know.

[00:49:07] [SPEAKER_00]: This I finished.

[00:49:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:49:10] [SPEAKER_04]: I love this.

[00:49:11] [SPEAKER_04]: All right.

[00:49:12] [SPEAKER_04]: So I have a question.

[00:49:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Because I do like stole this from 30 skittles.

[00:49:17] [SPEAKER_04]: What is your favorite word?

[00:49:21] [SPEAKER_03]: Nice.

[00:49:22] [SPEAKER_03]: Nice.

[00:49:22] [SPEAKER_03]: I love it.

[00:49:25] [SPEAKER_03]: I love it.

[00:49:26] [SPEAKER_03]: I love it.

[00:49:27] I love it.

[00:49:28] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't see.

[00:49:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I mean, I mean, I like our.

[00:49:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I finally feel validated.

[00:49:38] [SPEAKER_04]: I do.

[00:49:39] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel validated.

[00:49:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:49:42] [SPEAKER_03]: It's so it's just appropriate and so many different ways.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_00]: I was just like a joke, you know.

[00:49:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, because I was talking about it.

[00:49:52] [SPEAKER_01]: I was just like, you know, I was just like, you know, I was just like,

[00:49:53] [SPEAKER_01]: My favorite words are you a lot hard to say.

[00:50:00] [SPEAKER_01]: What's your favorite one, Greg?

[00:50:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Love.

[00:50:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[00:50:04] [SPEAKER_04]: I thought it was fuck.

[00:50:05] [SPEAKER_03]: You're X.

[00:50:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, it is.

[00:50:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Fuck.

[00:50:09] [SPEAKER_04]: But no.

[00:50:10] [SPEAKER_04]: It is.

[00:50:11] [SPEAKER_04]: It is.

[00:50:12] [SPEAKER_04]: So love has like certain implications in my life and

[00:50:17] [SPEAKER_04]: it gives me certain feelings.

[00:50:23] [SPEAKER_04]: So it's usually.

[00:50:26] [SPEAKER_04]: It is hard to explain.

[00:50:27] [SPEAKER_04]: I like, I have I have to draw a line sometimes like when I work with

[00:50:31] [SPEAKER_04]: use a word.

[00:50:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:50:34] [SPEAKER_04]: But my, really, my favorite word is love.

[00:50:37] [SPEAKER_04]: And it just, it means everything to me.

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, but because you know, if you don't.

[00:50:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You only realize that when you actually truly love someone and I only

[00:50:49] [SPEAKER_01]: realize that in the last few months.

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think you know, I've ever been love properly or I'll play till I met Chris.

[00:50:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:50:59] [SPEAKER_01]: And now it's like that saying where it says like, okay, love can set you free.

[00:51:07] [SPEAKER_01]: That's true because he's just like someone who I've always.

[00:51:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, not looked like wanted to be with like that girl.

[00:51:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Like he, he completes me.

[00:51:22] [SPEAKER_01]: He's not if you want to support me.

[00:51:25] [SPEAKER_01]: He, he's like, you know, communicate with me.

[00:51:30] [SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't, you know, tell me what to do.

[00:51:34] [SPEAKER_01]: He like, you know, it's like, yeah, your ship.

[00:51:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Would you never thought that something like that is possible?

[00:51:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm not happy with you.

[00:51:42] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, now when I do, I finally, you know, see the sense in what you say

[00:51:48] [SPEAKER_01]: and what you're not.

[00:52:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, trust.

[00:52:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's a good one.

[00:52:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Trust.

[00:52:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, trust is, is everything.

[00:52:11] [SPEAKER_01]: It's which it does.

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes we put stress on ourselves as well.

[00:52:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:52:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I know, I still do that sometimes.

[00:52:18] [SPEAKER_01]: I've learned a lot not to, but sometimes I still do.

[00:52:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's why I said it's my least favorite because you know what?

[00:52:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you know what? Yes, there will be stress, you know, but it's just all up to us.

[00:52:31] [SPEAKER_01]: How are we going to take it?

[00:52:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we can take it and make.

[00:52:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Make it make us stronger or make it make us be like low in the press.

[00:52:43] [SPEAKER_01]: And then we're going down.

[00:52:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, so it's how we take it and how we use it.

[00:52:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and I've learned now like here, there will be a stress.

[00:52:53] [SPEAKER_01]: The stressful situations are going to happen in life because it's just life.

[00:52:57] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, but it's just up to us how we take this stress.

[00:53:01] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if we take it okay, it's stressful and I was stressful back in the

[00:53:06] [SPEAKER_01]: way of doing it.

[00:53:07] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, then somehow we again become resilient and then you know, easier for us to deal with this stress.

[00:53:16] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if we don't let it affect us too much, you know, so it's my least favorite because I don't like to think about this stress.

[00:53:23] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm less stressed now.

[00:53:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And I do go through stresses, but I don't let it stress me that much to the point that I don't know what to do.

[00:53:32] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, like, or and then I sit down for day or two or three or four, you know, so reform myself and everything.

[00:53:39] [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'll be having some stresses.

[00:53:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Or now I want to hours of my field a little bit, you know, I would have space, but after that I'm not come up.

[00:53:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Get you shit together. Let's go.

[00:53:48] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and then you feel more powerful.

[00:53:52] [SPEAKER_03]: I feel beautiful.

[00:53:53] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much.

[00:53:55] [SPEAKER_03]: I love this and love hearing your story.

[00:53:57] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you for sharing it.

[00:53:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Is that was like so amazing. Like, yeah, sure.

[00:54:03] [SPEAKER_04]: So awesome.

[00:54:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Happy on here, Alex. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[00:54:09] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just sharing your story.

[00:54:11] [SPEAKER_01]: That was that was so amazing.

[00:54:14] [SPEAKER_01]: And like I can't wait to listen all the way to this and all the way.

[00:54:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Because they are so like uplifting.

[00:54:21] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure everywhere as well.

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone needs to listen to them because you know,

[00:54:25] [SPEAKER_01]: I think that's the story.

[00:54:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And everything with stories called an impact on us.

[00:54:29] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, every single story, you know, we've got through the friendship and you know what?

[00:54:34] [SPEAKER_01]: The only thing which we can learn from it is beneficial for us.

[00:54:41] [SPEAKER_05]: So I don't know.

[00:54:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.

[00:54:43] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you.

[00:54:44] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much.

[00:54:45] [SPEAKER_03]: This is very much.

[00:54:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.

[00:54:47] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you.

[00:54:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be waiting for this.

[00:54:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for having me so much.

[00:54:54] [SPEAKER_04]: You're welcome.

[00:54:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I'll send you the video because we don't release a video just to see you laugh at

[00:54:59] [SPEAKER_04]: our videos.

[00:55:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.

[00:55:02] [SPEAKER_04]: And then do you want to listen to the episode before we release it?

[00:55:06] [SPEAKER_04]: It's going to be releasing about six weeks.

[00:55:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, sure.

[00:55:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, you the mind.

[00:55:12] [SPEAKER_04]: No, yes.

[00:55:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Girl, how am I good?

[00:55:17] [SPEAKER_03]: Is there anything that you want to mention that we didn't talk about?

[00:55:21] [SPEAKER_03]: Anywhere our listeners can find you?

[00:55:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so you know what I mean?

[00:55:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Like I'm here.

[00:55:27] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know, if you're going through anything in life or like you know happy with

[00:55:33] [SPEAKER_01]: where you currently at, it could be anything.

[00:55:35] [SPEAKER_01]: It could be mentally or you know I go for the breakdown or you might go for the breakout

[00:55:41] [SPEAKER_01]: or whatever or you just have your heart broken and then it makes you eat more than you put weight

[00:55:46] [SPEAKER_01]: or you know happy with it yourself.

[00:55:48] [SPEAKER_01]: You know what?

[00:55:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I've got solutions for it.

[00:55:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just hit me on my Instagram.

[00:55:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, like a business one and a personal one.

[00:55:56] [SPEAKER_01]: But now I'm thinking you know what?

[00:55:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just going to combine them all together because this is me.

[00:56:00] [SPEAKER_01]: This is my life.

[00:56:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And my put some things from the life and coaching all together.

[00:56:06] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I won't be here.

[00:56:08] [SPEAKER_01]: No, who I am.

[00:56:10] [SPEAKER_01]: So no, just on your training and value and what about but also what's going

[00:56:15] [SPEAKER_01]: to be behind the doors as well.

[00:56:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, because this is how people actually you know will understand you more and again

[00:56:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I attracted to you more.

[00:56:26] [SPEAKER_01]: You know what they say more about you.

[00:56:29] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, than you being always professional and you know,

[00:56:33] [SPEAKER_01]: business.

[00:56:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever if you show a lot of you, you know, that's what when you can actually truly have someone.

[00:56:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Awesome.

[00:56:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, thank you so, so much.

[00:56:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Enjoy the rest of your evening.

[00:56:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:56:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Hi, all.

[00:56:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

[00:56:53] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm G Rex and I'm dirty skittles.

[00:56:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Don't forget to subscribe right and review this podcast.

[00:57:00] [SPEAKER_04]: We'd love to listen to your feedback.

[00:57:02] [SPEAKER_04]: We can't do this without you guys.

[00:57:05] [SPEAKER_02]: It's okay to be not okay.

[00:57:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Just make sure you're talking to someone.