Boundaries, Burnout & the Brain-Heart Connection with Kate

[00:00:06] Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes On In Our Heads, the podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health. That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles and alongside my amazing co-host, G-Rex, we are here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests. Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health, offering practical advice and heartfelt support. Because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion.

[00:00:35] So tune in and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads. Two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Shit That Goes On In Our Heads, where I barely got it together today. I'm Dirty Skittles and I'm joined by my wonderful co-host who is buckled over and laughing, G-Rex.

[00:01:05] See, she silently laughs. We are also joined here today by Kate, who is a repeat guest. Welcome back. Live in the life. How are things with you since we last spoke? Things are good. I'm so excited to be back with you. I remember we ended our last conversation and I was communicating with G-Rex and I'm like, can we talk again? And you were booked far out. We both used like, what G-Rex, is it 10 months ago or something?

[00:01:34] At least 10 months and now we're booked until March of 2026. You are doing so well. I'm so proud of your podcast. She is killing it. She is like hustling. She's grinding it out. I hope it's fun. Are you enjoying it? I still am. And, you know, it's crazy because, you know, the world's on fire and our listenership has gone up like 40% in just the last couple of months.

[00:02:03] So I think that we're resonating with people and, you know, just having that super easy conversation and making, you know, making it comfortable. Yeah, I think that's what people need is just somewhere where they can feel safe. Yeah. Yeah. Especially now. Because the world's on fire. But when I was talking to Kate, when we did we talk? We talked like a couple of weeks ago. You're like, hey, what should I talk about?

[00:02:31] And I'm, I really want to know from a therapist perspective, like what people can do to kind of get out of their head and try and find some joy amongst everything that's going on around us right now. Yeah. I mean, it seems like a simple question, but I think these days, you know, it might be a little more complicated. Right. And I think that's really actually a good challenge for us.

[00:02:59] It's a good edge when so many of us, especially in this personal growth, self-help, mental health field, we're constantly working on ourselves. And so this is just presenting another opportunity for that. So that's how I see it is that we're just bumbling along in life and you hit times that are difficult and you embrace them because there are times to both practice what you've already learned

[00:03:24] and also learn some new things that could help you grow even more and expand even more, become another higher version of yourself. And as you know, from our last conversation, my work is the Radiant Life Project. It's about radiance in life. And it's a project because it's an ongoing experience. It's not a destination. It's a process.

[00:03:45] And we're evolving into higher and higher levels of ourselves the more we lean into challenging times and the more we face them with integrity, with honesty, with kindness, with positive self-talk and compassion for others. I mean, these are words that I think we all know, but sometimes we forget to practice, especially when our nervous system is kind of ramped up and feeling either exhausted or overstimulated. It can be really difficult to remember what we know.

[00:04:15] So I think it's a really good practice to take that challenging moment and sort of settle into it and not get too freaked out by it and just allow yourself to get curious and get to know your body in this situation and ask yourself what you need. You know, it might be as simple as going out into nature every day and not missing a day. It might be, I'm an art therapist.

[00:04:38] And so I always default to creative expression, creating art, making music, writing, dance, any kind of expression can be really healing. And movement and shaking is really helpful for the nervous system also. It helps us regulate. So just simple things like that. Also finding aligned community, people who are supportive, people who you can be authentic with. Therapy is a great idea if you're feeling really dysregulated and unstable.

[00:05:05] Just sort of finding places where there is safety, where you can express how you're feeling, get more support, maybe get inspired, come together with people and make something meaningful. These are all just little ways, you know, and in addition to just the basics of getting good sleep, being careful of your substance use, feeding yourself nourishing foods, breathing fresh air, you know, taking care of yourself on a really exquisite level. Because when things are hard, your threshold is a little bit more.

[00:05:35] And so you have to just lean into yourself a little bit more, breathe a little more deeply, seek the things that light you up and fill you up because your tank might be running a little more empty than it usually does. Yeah. Do you have any, like, tips or helpful tricks to sort of blocking out that noise?

[00:05:57] And like, like, G-Rex mentioned the world being on fire and it's sort of, not that it's everywhere, but it definitely at times feels like there's so much kind of attacking the senses. Like, how do we, what kind of tips do you have to just blocking that out and focusing on yourself? Yeah.

[00:06:14] And I mean, I think it is, I think it's a global experience because these days I have clients in all parts of the world and I'm getting kind of tapped into people in Japan and how they're feeling and people in New Zealand and how that feels. And so I do think it's more than just the U.S., which really is a good reminder, like, we're in this together, we're all on the same planet and we're really not alone, you know?

[00:06:39] So I think really being careful about what you take in terms of media, it's just so important. I know there's a lot of talk about this and everyone will sort of nod along and be like, I know I shouldn't turn on the news or I shouldn't doom scroll, but there's a difference between knowing you shouldn't do that thing and actually changing your behavior. So being really thoughtful about what you take in and if it's important for you to stay informed, there are news outlets.

[00:07:09] Like, one of my favorite websites is Reasons to be Cheerful. It's a news outlet that tells you things that are just always uplifting, inspiring. It's real news that gets, like, sort of snuffed out by, like, the mainstream media that's so doomsday-ish. But it's the good stuff. It's like, how are we saving whales by having navigation systems and ships that don't run them over? Like, some incredible scientific discoveries that don't make the headlines.

[00:07:37] Like, just good things that are happening. So seeking out news sites like that. Also trying to find, like, in your news feed, if you feel like it's tough to pull away from social media, find sites like, like, the page for this podcast is always so inspiring. It's always so uplifting. Follow people who make you feel good, who have inspiration, who light you up.

[00:08:02] You can unfollow or mute anybody who's making your nervous system feel twitchy after you see their posts. You know? I think you can also, in real life, you can just be more mindful about who you're spending your time with. If you notice that there are certain people you're around and you leave feeling really drained or really kind of dysregulated, maybe make those visits shorter or try to space them out even further.

[00:08:29] This is difficult for people who have family dynamics with people with differing viewpoints because you love your family and you want to find a way to see each other. But sometimes those visits don't nourish you. And so they take more than they give. So this might be a time where we need more boundaries or different boundaries. And you can even express that to people. Just being authentic and saying, hey, you know, I'm really leaning into my nervous system right now. It's a tough time for me.

[00:08:56] So if I'm not as available as I usually am, don't take it personally. It's about me trying to rejuvenate myself. And then they understand why you might be pulling back. And then there are energetic things you can do, like imagining yourself inside of a bubble and having the intention of protection and safety and just sort of putting this bubble around yourself. If you're in a busy place and you feel like there's a lot of projections flying sideways

[00:09:23] or, you know, going through an airport, something like that. I like to put a bubble around myself before sleep just to protect my dreams and my sleep and keep me peaceful at night. Intention really goes a long way. It helps to shape your mindset. It helps to set your energy field, which sounds a little woo, but it's actually really scientific. We all have a field. It's an electromagnetic field that extends for feet beyond our bodies.

[00:09:49] And so we have to remember that we are more than just physical bodies and we're responsible for taking care of our heart, our body, spirit, our mind. And speaking of the mind, I think, you know, your mental health is just so incredibly important. And during times like this, it's okay to say no as much as you need to. It's okay to pull back. It's okay to ask for extra therapy sessions. It's okay to get a therapy dog.

[00:10:16] Like whatever you need to do to support your mental health so that you feel strong and safe and healthy. I think it's okay to do that now and always. Yes. It's funny that you mentioned you do that before you go to sleep because that's literally... I think I started doing it just to fall asleep because normally my brain is racing at the end of a long day with like whatever happened, you know, in the day or like five years ago, like that I cannot forget. And so I will like literally envision myself.

[00:10:46] For me, it's always like there's a house and then there's this huge fence. And once I make it inside that fence, a big force field comes and then nothing can happen in there. And I know I'm safe and I'm sound and I'm usually in sleep before. Like I try to vision myself walking up the stairs into the house and I'm asleep before I even get it that far. Because it's so relaxing to be like protected. You have to protect your sleep, right? Because, you know, we all need it. And the more rested you are, the better you can handle stress.

[00:11:16] And regardless of your political beliefs or the country you live in, I just think everyone right now is feeling stress. And I've heard a lot from people that they're having struggles with sleep, especially now. So leaning in, protecting your sleep, you know, if drinking alcohol affects your sleep, maybe give it a rest. Like if staying up past midnight isn't good for you, get in bed earlier. You know, the sleep hygiene is a real thing. Get some blue light blockers and put them on at 8 p.m.

[00:11:46] Whatever you need to do, your sleep is really sacred. I like the sleep hygiene. I'm going to use that. It's not my term, but I also like that. I love it. So like what I did is I turned off all the news feeds on my phone. It was like, I just don't want to know. I need to, I need my joy. And part of finding that joy is not being bombarded every four minutes with bad news. And then we put a rule in the house that we only talk about politics after 8 p.m.

[00:12:15] And you only get an hour, right? So if you can't skim it down in an hour, we don't get to talk about it, which is fine. And then the other thing I started really incorporating more into my life is being a kid. Playing. Because playing puts me in a different mindset and allows me to be more creative.

[00:12:37] And I'm really looking forward to spring because I want to get outside and play without 15 layers of clothes and some socks on. But the other thing that I really have been very intentional about is when I get up in the morning, I start it with 20 minutes of laughter. Whether that's calling and talking to Dirty Skittles or pulling up a funny video. Because what that does is it sets the tone for the rest of the day for me.

[00:13:07] And then I also throw in one thing that I'm grateful for. And it's those intentions that are helping me get through the world on fire. Because like a lot of things that are going on affect everybody. But I still need to have my happiness. I worked two years to come out of that really deep, dark hole that I was in. And I don't want to go back to it.

[00:13:33] And I'm finding now, even my wife said, she's like, she said that this is the happiest she's seen me in 20 years. Even though the world's on fire. So. I think like building like healthy routines has been what I've been focusing on. Like I went through a lot of shit towards the end of last year.

[00:14:00] And for me, I tried to be really intentional about like the healthy habits. So I, you know, it was this whole like, I'm going to take care of my mind, my body, all of this stuff. My spirit and waking up at five every day. And like getting on the treadmill and actually moving my body. And in order to wake up at five, I know I have to be in bed by nine. So it was like going to bed at the right time so that I had the energy for the morning. Taking the lunch breaks for work.

[00:14:28] Like stuff like that I need to do to take care of me and like my brain, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's a value shift also. Like when you're shifting around your priorities, you have to have them connected to what you care most about. And that's what values are. It's like, what do you actually care about? If you can cut through all of the superficial materialistic stuff, all of the things you're supposed to do or supposed to like,

[00:14:57] and you actually find what matters to you, then you can slide those up the priority list and let everything else just shake to the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. And not be afraid to let you be the number one on the list. Let that be what you take care of first. And also remembering your boundaries, right? Like boundaries are huge. Yeah.

[00:15:20] And like, if somebody is out there like trying to not manipulate you, but get you to their way of thinking, like remember that you can just say no and walk away from that and make yourself, be good to yourself, be good to your heart. Like, because that's what boundaries do for me. It's good for my heart.

[00:15:50] Yeah. Boundaries are like, they're so different from requests. Like a request is like when you make an ask of someone like, can you please not talk to me about politics at dinner? But a boundary is, this is what I will do if my edge is crossed. Like if we talk about boundaries, if you talk about politics at dinner, I'm going to leave. Like that, I don't want to, but that's just where my limit is these days.

[00:16:15] And so really honoring your own boundaries by, if you say that you're going to leave or you're going to walk away or something's not okay with you, you have to follow through with that. You know, and that's where the discipline comes in for you maintaining and following your own boundaries. Because it's really not something that anyone else has to do. Right. They can be respectful of your boundaries or they can plow them down. But really, you're just the one who needs to be respectful of your own boundaries.

[00:16:41] And I find that sometimes people feel uncomfortable with the word no or with knowing what to say if a situation goes sideways and they're not comfortable. So I think it's really helpful to go into like your notepad on your phone or your journal and create a couple of just canned responses that you memorize. So that in that situation, you don't have to think too hard. You've memorized something. And it could be as simple as like, you know, this conversation isn't feeling great for me. Let's change the topic.

[00:17:11] Something as simple as that, you know, my blood pressure is rising. Let's talk about something different. You know, those kinds of things are easy if you're just quietly sitting with your journal. But if you're in a stressful situation at a dinner table, I don't know what happens, but it's difficult. It's because we can't access our prefrontal cortex when we get freaked out. And so you might be like, I'm not good, but you don't know how to shift it.

[00:17:35] So you can protect your future self by writing statements like that that make a request or set a boundary. And all you have to do is just memorize them. And my therapist that I have now had brought that up. She was like, come up with canned responses in case you're ever in that scenario. And I remember thinking like, this is silly. Like, I've never been one to be at a loss for words, but I knew that I was struggling with setting certain boundaries with certain people.

[00:18:04] And so I went ahead and I listened to her, which she knew what she was talking about, right? Like, I don't know why in my brain. I'm like, that's never going to work. No, it actually worked. And the more I used those pre-canned responses, the stronger I felt. So I was so grateful. And so like, yeah, if anybody's listening and you haven't done that before, totally do it. Totally do it. It works amazing. It does.

[00:18:30] And it's the perfect way to put that bubble around you and feel better, right? Because like, I don't know, being depressed and mental health can be like draining. Yeah. But so can people. And, you know, also kind of reminds me that, you know, we just need to be kinder. Okay. Can we all just be kinder? Can we all be nicer? Nicer to each other.

[00:19:00] Nicer to yourself. Like quit with the negative self-talk because we're already getting the external forces coming in. But when you're talking bad to yourself, it just makes things worse. Yeah. Yeah. I tell my kids that every cell in your body is listening to the words that you say about yourself and responding.

[00:19:21] And so if you say I'm dumb or, you know, nobody likes me or anything critical or negative, your body is like, oh, and it feels defeated and it lets down. But if you say, I believe in myself, I'm really strong. I know I can do this. Your body activates and it illuminates. And so you're so right, G-Rex. It's this feedback loop. If you can get into a positive self-talk cycle and there's a sunny side and a shadow side to everything.

[00:19:49] Even if people are like, I don't know how to be positive when things are hard. There is a positive way to say to yourself that things are hard right now. You can say, I'm working on getting through this. You know, that's a really positive response instead of saying things suck and I'm miserable. Like I'm working on uplifting myself today. You know, just finding a way to pivot so that you're seeing the sunny side instead of the shadow side and your body is receiving that energy. Yeah.

[00:20:20] It's such a perfect conversation because like we still need to be have those reminders. And like for me, you know, since the last time we talked, I up and quit my job and made my own company. And so now I get to get into people's heads and but in a different way. Right. Like I took my 45 years of, you know, work experience.

[00:20:48] And then the experience I got from the podcast and I created this really awesome company. And one of the things, the way that my wife and I are kind of tackling this is I promised her that when, once it got warmer, we would, I would take two days off during the week and we would go and do things. And that helps us kind of get out of our heads and go back to like being a kid and doing the things that bring us both joy.

[00:21:17] And, you know, it's, it's been an interesting shift for the two of us because she's noticed that I'm happier now. Because when I'm creating, when I'm creating, I'm like a five-year-old, right? Like I get to do things that I never had time to do. And now I do those things. And I, you know, I'm, we're, I was still out there making an impact on the world. So. Yeah. Okay.

[00:21:46] And what do you feel like the playfulness that you've been seeking and the creativity are linked? Oh, so much. And it's funny. I've had to start taking gummies when I go to sleep at night. So I can sleep because my playfulness side and like creativity side really peaks at around 11 PM. I'm like, I need sleep. Because I tried the whole, like taking a notebook to bed with me.

[00:22:16] Yeah, girl, that don't work anymore. Okay. Now I just need sleep. Yeah. Man. Yeah. No, I'm so proud of you though. Like how far you've come. Like, this is crazy. Like I, I'm grateful that I get to watch it every single day. Like you're doing great things. You know, I still just want to change the world. And I think that the three of us are changing it in our own little way, right? It's like a trickle effect.

[00:22:46] So like we do an episode on our podcast and then, you know, that filters out to the ethers and like what Kate's doing with her practice and, you know, what you're doing with your son, Dury Skills. And what I'm doing here in my very small community, right? Like we're out there making little tiny changes that have a ripple effect that can essentially make somebody's life better. Yeah. Or at least try to. Yeah.

[00:23:16] That's the hope, right? To be able to contribute positively to this world. That's the thing I think people forget is that we're all really powerful and the way that we emanate our light or our darkness into the world, it does affect other people. It affects ourselves.

[00:23:45] It affects others. It affects people that those people have come into contact with. We're so interconnected. And it's so amazing when you can reclaim that power and start to steer it in a way that you're more intentional about so that you're not unconsciously pumping more negativity into the world. But you're really taking charge of who do I want to be and how do I want to face the current situation? How do I want to speak? How do I want to influence people?

[00:24:13] Because whether you're aware of it or not, you're always influencing people, even if it's your interaction at the grocery store. Or, you know, letting someone in front of you in line who has fewer items, whatever it is. Little pieces of kindness, they really have such huge impact. And you may never know that you've changed someone's life or that you've benefited them. Or that the nice thing you did for someone made them go do something that saved someone else's life. You may never know.

[00:24:42] But there has to be this level of trust that when you're plugged into the collective from the highest version of yourself, then you're plugging in a place where that interconnectedness is just fueling more positivity. And it does become a feedback loop. Yeah. I think that's why it's so important that it starts with you first. Like, if you're taking care of yourself first, then you can show up in your best light and be able to contribute like that, you know? Yeah.

[00:25:11] That's what my books are all about. They're all just like, you have to do your own healing. Heal yourself. Do your work. Face your shadow. Meet your trauma with love. And then plug into the collective from that healthier place. Right. Right. Yeah. Like, you know, I smile more now. I find my joy in little things. Like the cats will do something stupid and it'll just make me laugh.

[00:25:39] Or I'll write something and it's like, wow, that's a lot of introspection for me. And I just, you know, I kind of go through life in hopes that people can still laugh. Because to me, laughter is like the best medicine in the world. And, you know, in my book, I, you know, hindsight is 20-20. So I did write about some things that happened and I can laugh about it now. Couldn't really laugh at the point when it was happening.

[00:26:08] But, like, it was a moment of growth for me. And when I was looking back at, like, the chapters I'd written and I got a little down a couple weeks ago. And I was like, wow, remember when you did this? Let's try this to see if it makes me feel better. And I was like, wow, it did. And so I went back to, like, coloring. And, you know, I do a lot of stuff in ChatGPT because I can get super creative with that. I created some widgets for my website.

[00:26:38] I, like, learned how to code. Like, it's the craziest thing. Like, I never had time to do that. But once I turned off the bad stuff that was showing up on my phone every day and focused all that attention on me and the things I can do to help make the world a better place. God, I felt so much better. Yeah. And it's also calling Dirty Skittles every day. I always got a story for you.

[00:27:07] He always has a story for me. Some of it's funny. Some of it's not. But I laugh at it anyway. It's the dark humor that we share, that we have in common. It's still humor. And I think you're both so right that, like, as long as we're human beings, we have the capacity for laughter. Like, nobody can take that from us. It's built in. Mother Nature gave it to us. And what a gift, right? So I think we have to remember we're humans.

[00:27:36] And we have that bandwidth. And no matter what's going on, you know, we can find dark humor. We can find any humor. But laughter is a form of release and catharsis. And it moves energy through the body. And it helps us process things. And it helps us connect. It changes the neurochemistry in your brain. It shifts your hormone balance. I mean, it is good for you on every level. Yeah.

[00:28:00] I think a part of that, at least for me in the dark humor with G-Rex, is I've learned, especially this year, I would say, to not take myself so seriously. And that it's okay to laugh at something that I've done that was, like, silly or, I don't know. I somehow am always ending up having allergic reaction that G-Rex laughs about hysterically.

[00:28:21] But it's, like, not taking myself so seriously and being able to find the funny in something that I've done or, you know, yeah, just being more lighthearted. And, you know, that's really what it's all about. And, you know, so I'm hoping that this episode, like, has a ripple effect and that somebody listens and does some random act of kindness for somebody, right?

[00:28:45] Like, you can change somebody's life by just maybe smiling at them or maybe buy a cup of coffee or... Always gets me. Just say hello, right? Like, there's a lot of people that are out there now that are afraid to leave their houses, you know, afraid to be out in the community.

[00:29:07] So, just taking that little bit of time, even when everything else is on fire, it costs you nothing to be kind. Nothing. And if you can, pay it forward. Pay it forward. And if you can't, at least you know in your heart you try to do something good for somebody else. I love what you said, Dirty Skittles, just about not taking yourself too seriously.

[00:29:32] Honestly, like, I think it's a pretty serious world we're in these days and it can feel intense and it can feel heavy. And I think people just, I want y'all to remember, you're not trapped in that seriousness. You still have personal agency. You still have choice with who you are in this very moment. And you get to decide if you want to buy into the seriousness, if you want to laugh about it, if you want to go to the snap.

[00:29:58] Like, you get to choose and to be really empowered by your own, like, protecting your choices. And don't giving, don't just give them away unconsciously to whatever's going on in the collective. Because if you do that, it will feel too serious and you will get caught up.

[00:30:16] So I think the intention of making fun of yourself or looking back and seeing how far you've come and giggling at a past version, you know, or even dialoguing with your future self and seeing how that version of you might be laughing at this version of you. And how serious you are. You know, just like, really take back that power. Like, it doesn't have to be so serious, even if it really seems dark outside. Yes. And at the end of the day, you have to like you.

[00:30:46] Because you're stuck with you all of the fucking time. You cannot escape you. You've got to like you. You can try, but it doesn't work very well. It doesn't. So, Kate, like, what's been going on with you in the last year? Like, anything fun, exciting? Yeah. I mean, whew, life. I got a new book deal, guys. I'm so excited. Yay. Yeah, my third book is coming out in January 26.

[00:31:15] It's called Mend or Move On. It's about healing or leaving toxic relationships. And I'm really excited. Johns Hopkins Press has partnered with me on this one. And so that was really exciting. And just, you know, building the joy and the energy around books is always really fun for me. And I'm still like riding the wave of my last book, The Radiant Life Project.

[00:31:40] And like just feeling so purposeful with the work that I'm putting in. Inspired by you two. I've got my own podcast that's coming up here pretty soon. Yay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a co-host who's going to be joining me to balance, you know, the mind-body piece. And I'm really hopeful that is helpful for people and feel supportive. So those are kind of the pieces on the work fronts. And in personal worlds, I'm just leaning into my family so much.

[00:32:10] Just watching my kids get bigger and watching the seasons change and time move and trying to be here for all of it. But I've started a practice of brain-heart coherence. I don't know if you've heard of it before. I have not. It feels so good. So there's an institute called the HeartMath Institute. And it's all research and science-based about how powerful the heart is, the physical organ of the heart,

[00:32:36] and how there are actually neurons, which are brain cells, in the heart. And now that they've started to study what those neurons do, they've found that the heart can actually think independently of the brain if you can quiet the mind and focus in. And so it's a really cool practice. And it's based kind of like what you were saying earlier, G-Rex, on gratitude. So it's just a few minutes of meditation where you focus on your heart, your physical heart.

[00:33:05] You just notice if you can feel a heartbeat and slow your breathing. Think of something that fills you with gratitude and just hold that for three minutes. That's all it takes. Just feeling an elevated state of gratitude for three minutes. And if you do that every day, your immune response increases, your mental health improves, your digestion improves. It's like this incredible mind-body connection that's just based on heart-centeredness. And you feel better.

[00:33:35] You feel so connected and in such a place of warmth and compassion that I'm just really enjoying it. So that is something I've been doing to sort of fill myself up and continue my radiant life practice. Because I love to practice what I teach, you know. This is work I am like on the ground figuring it out just like everyone and enjoying all the mistakes I make. And times I have to double back and apologize. And, you know, so heart coherence is really good.

[00:34:05] Wait, can I ask you questions about that? Yes, please. Because you said that and I'm like, oh my God. I giggled because I'm like literally the time that I find that I'm the most stressed or depressed or anxious or whatever, the negative situation is usually when my heart and my brain don't align. Where they're very much wanting two different things. So when you practice this and you said you find something that you're grateful for. Is that right?

[00:34:33] And then you hold it for three minutes like you think about it for three minutes? Yeah, you have to be embodied while you're doing it. So just to do a minute or two of deep breathing and make your exhales a little bit slower and longer than your inhales, which calms your parasympathetic nervous system and kind of puts the brakes on and helps soothe you. And then sensing into the heart, the physical heart.

[00:34:57] So just noticing like is there a heaviness or a buzz sensation or is there a warmth in your body? And once you feel like you're connected in that place, then visualizing someone or something or a memory or a sunrise, it could be tiny. You could just be grateful for the fact that you're breathing, that your dog is snuggled up to you. It can be tiny. It was funny because the researchers first asked people to think of love, something that brings up love.

[00:35:26] But then they found out love is complicated. And sometimes that's not always a good feeling. So they settled on gratitude. And then as a secondary, if gratitude feels hard to access, appreciation achieves the same thing. So anything or anyone you appreciate or feel grateful for. And then you can drop the visual at some point if you want. And just once you're in that place of gratitude, just breathe into it and try to be there for three minutes.

[00:35:56] And they found that three minutes is actually the amount of time that it takes for there to be a physiological change in the body. Or you see, like they've had incredible studies of people who have done this for just three minutes a day and seen amazing health benefits. I'm fascinated. I'm going to incorporate this into my day now. Yeah, I'm going to try it. Yeah, because I think that it would help and I can do it like before I go to bed at night.

[00:36:23] I just, I have a lot to be grateful for. Like so much to be grateful for. And I just, I love our conversations with you. You're just so insightful. And you just bring so much to the table. I love this. Thank you. I love talking with you too. It's so authentic. It feels just so real and safe to be here with both of you. So thank you. My favorite thing to hear. I was just telling G-Rex earlier today.

[00:36:53] I'm like, my favorite thing to hear is when we'll see it in comments sometimes to listeners saying, it feels like I'm just having a conversation with friends. And we've had past guests that have said, you know, I just feel safe. Like I, you know, they're coming on and not sure how vulnerable they want to be. And then they feel safe and we get a podcast out of it. And, you know, we could have never scripted that. Like just that genuine interaction in that moment. So it's my favorite thing.

[00:37:19] So we're not going to ask you the typical questions, but I have one that I've been asking a lot lately that makes me laugh. Okay. So if your anxiety had a theme song, what is it and why? Oh, my anxiety. Maybe from the theme song from Jaws. Jaws. I hear that a lot. Yeah. Is that common? I mean, common. Anxiety is usually based on the future.

[00:37:49] And so Jaws is like this feeling of impending doom that's like coming for you. I feel like that's the perfect way to describe it, actually. Because that song just in general, it's like, yeah. So I love that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Kate. This was such a great, insightful episode. I'm going to take some of what you talked about into my own personal life. I'm doing the three-minute practice. Literally. I'm so excited.

[00:38:19] Yay. Good. Me too. Let's do it together and we'll raise the vibration of the world together. Let's do that. And then when your new book comes out, let's have you back on. Yeah. That would be great. I would love that. Thank you for always making space for me and having me on your show. And thanks to the listeners for showing up for this work because it's meaningful. And it's challenging, but I think it's really worth it. Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles.

[00:38:48] Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback. We can't do this without you guys. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone. I feel like you're a bit like you're talking to someone. And you're a bit like, you're learning. Thank you.