🎉 2024 People's Choice Podcast Awards Winner – Health Category 🎉
We are beyond grateful to have been recognized as the 2024 People's Choice Podcast Award winner for Health! Thank you to our incredible listeners for your continued support in helping us break the stigma around mental Health.
In this powerful episode, hosts G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Amy, a 53-year-old single mom who has battled bipolar disorder, ADHD, and anxiety. Amy's story is one of hope, resilience, and transformation despite her mental health challenges. She shares her journey of surviving multiple suicide attempts and finding the strength to live a fulfilling life, inspiring listeners with her honesty, humor, and wisdom.
Amy is also a proud "Mental Health Warrior" and "Neurospicy Mama," advocating for mental health awareness and breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness. Through her podcast, Advancing with Amy, she spreads the message that it's okay to struggle with mental Health and still live a meaningful life.
Key Takeaways:- Your Mental Health is Manageable – Amy’s journey highlights the importance of finding the right medical treatment and therapy. With proper care, it’s possible to manage conditions like bipolar disorder and ADHD and lead a fulfilling life.
- It’s Okay to Advocate for Yourself – From switching medications to advocating for her daughter’s mental Health, Amy emphasizes the importance of being your advocate and speaking up for what you need.
- You’re Not Alone – Amy’s story reminds us that there’s a community of people who understand the struggles of mental Health, and reaching out for support can make all the difference.
Amy is a 53-year-old single mother living with bipolar disorder, ADHD, and anxiety. After surviving suicide attempts in her youth and struggling with depression and mania throughout her adult life, Amy has found balance and purpose. Today, she is a mental health advocate, sharing her experiences to help others navigate their challenges. Through her podcast, Advancing with Amy, she spreads awareness and supports those who need it.
Contact Information for Amy:- Podcast: Advancing With Amy / Mental Health Warrior & Neurospicy Mama – https://pod.link/1726340214
- Website: http://www.advancingwithamy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancing_with_amy/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdvancingwithAmy/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-taylor-bsw-mental-health-warrior-and-neurospicy-mama-2023802b/
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. It’s okay not to be OK—make sure you're talking to someone.
- United States – Call 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
- Canada – Call 988 or visit https://988.ca/
- Worldwide – Find a helpline at https://findahelpline.com/
- Official Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shltthatgoesoninourheads
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grex_and_dirtyskittles/
- Newsletter: https://sh-t-that-goes-on-in-our-heads.ck.page/profile
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- Advertise: https://www.passionfroot.me/goesoninourheads
Audio Editing by NJz Audio.
Subscribe, Rate, and Review!Don’t forget to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews.
#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #ADHD #Anxiety #MentalHealthAdvocate #Neurodiversity #MentalHealthWarrior #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #Resilience #HopeAndHealing #MentalHealthPodcast #SelfCare #AdvocateForYourself #MentalHealthSupport #BreakTheStigma #MentalHealthAwareness #TherapyWorks #PodcastCommunity #Neurospicy #ParentingMentalHealth #PeoplesChoiceAwards #MentalHealthPodcast
00:00:06
Hey there listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes Under Our Heads, the
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podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health.
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That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles, and alongside my amazing co host, you
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Rex, we are here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests.
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Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health,
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offering practical advice and heartfelt support. Because no one should
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feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a
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community of understanding and compassion. Tune in and let's
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start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads.
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3, 2, 1.
00:00:47
Welcome back to another episode of Shit That Goes On Our Heads. My
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G Rex with my amazing co host, Dirty Skittles. And
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today, we have an awesome guest, Amy. Welcome,
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Amy. How are you today? I'm doing great. I'm so excited to be
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here. Yay. Welcome, Amy. Thank you.
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You're excited to be here. I've
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been looking forward to this. Oh, yay. That's
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awesome. I have to tell our listeners about your fuzzy pink
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microphone cover that I cannot stop staring at. I just wanna rub my face
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on it. Like, I just I wanna nuzzle up to it. It looks so on.
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That's all it is. Yeah. Okay. Now
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I know where to go. You're so I'm gonna love that. I
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get what I'm just saying. Oh, it's blurred out, but he got me, like, this
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little pop filter thingy to put on the mic, but it's not nearly as
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cool as what you have going on there.
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So what are we gonna talk about today, Amy? Well, I I
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call myself a mental health warrior and a neurospicy
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mama because I've got some mental health conditions
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like bipolar, anxiety, ADHD,
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and my daughter is on the spectrum and has
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anxiety and ADHD as well. That's where the neurospicy
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mama comes from. We're both neurospicy. So I
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have a podcast like you guys and well, not like
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yours. Your guys you guys are doing amazing.
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Uh-oh. No. You guys have a lot
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more fun. Mine's a little more serious. But I'm just trying to
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get out there and spread the word that it's okay to have a mental
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health diagnosis or mental health issues and still
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live a fulfilling life. Yeah. When did your
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journey of discovering your mental health issue start for you?
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Well, I've always struggled, like, since I was
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little. I was abused as a child by a neighbor
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and started doing things like scratching up my dad's
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car with, you know, a fork and that kinda thing and
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started getting into trouble. And that was at, like, age
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4 or 5. And by the time I was a teenager,
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I was just angry. And by the time I
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was in college, when I was 18, I was diagnosed
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with recurrent depression. And so I
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thought that's what it was because I kept getting
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depressed. But come to find out when I got a little older,
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I was in my thirties. I went to the doctor, the psychiatrist
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actually, and said, hey. You know? I am
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screaming at my son for no reason.
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I'm so angry, and I don't know how.
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Stop. And I'm not being a good mom.
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And so they said that's when they figured out that, you know, yeah, you
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have bipolar disorder, not recurrent depression. So
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they changed my meds, and that made a world of difference. It doesn't
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make everything perfect, but it makes it manageable.
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So for somebody who has no experience in that,
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I I mean, I know what it's like to in in other
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for other reasons. I know what it's like to sort of be
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so angry all the time. Yeah.
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And I know for me, where I can kind of relate,
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maybe I'm trying to find some similarity or common ground. It's
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like, for me, when I was that way,
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I almost, justified it. Or not
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justified it. I had a reason to be angry. I didn't know what it
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was, but I had this reason. Right? And so, like, I
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would be just miserable all the fucking time.
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For me, it took therapy, and I remember feeling, like,
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this weight off my chest. For you, I'm
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curious. When the meds change, you're seeing it made a world of difference.
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How could you tell the difference? Like and
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and what way did it show up that it was different? They
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had me on meds for depression. I was actually on Prozac
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and come to find out later that actually can make you
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manic, which anger is part of mania.
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And so when I got on the right meds, I felt
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more relaxed, and I didn't have that anxious
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thing where my son would say something to me and I would just make
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me tighten up and, you know, be like, oh my god. You know?
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Be quiet. That kinda thing where everything bothered me, every
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noise, every everything. So it just I
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just was able to let down and relax. Yeah.
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How did that feel for the first time? You, like, finally
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like, is this what it's like? Yeah. I
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thought too bad I went so long. Yeah. And
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and you had started taking meds when you were a kid. So
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when you started that as an adult
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and working with your kids, I'm sure it was life changing. Right?
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Like Yeah. It made all the difference in the world for you,
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just not only mentally, but probably physically because
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being angry and uptight and tense like that all the time,
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like, really, like, messes up with your physical well-being
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also. Right. Right. And I was either like
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that or I was majorly depressed and couldn't get out
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of bed and was crying over nothing. I would
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call my dad and just fall
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apart on the phone, and he would say, oh my god. What's wrong? Are you
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okay? And I'd be like, I'm fine, and I don't know what's
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wrong. I just can't quit crying, and and I
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am unhappy. So it was a lot
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of confusion over why I felt that way. So getting a label
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I know don't like labels, but getting a label gave me some clarity and some
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reason for why I had been going through what I've been going through. Yeah. I
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was gonna say for it
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it's almost like it's a starting point. If you can at
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least know where you're starting from and try
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that. Right? Or or whatever that path looks like to to getting better or to
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treating it every day. But at least having somewhere to start, I feel like
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would be, like, a weight lifted off your shoulders. Like, oh,
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finally. Like, there's a direction that we can go into and see if that works
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and, you know, adjust if not. Did you have to make any adjustments
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to meds, like, once they switched you over? Was there, like, a mean Yeah.
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Yeah. I've been on many different meds over the years. I'm 53
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now, and so I've tried just about everything. Because
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one of the bad things about medication and bipolar
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disorder is you can be on the right med, and it goes
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well for 6 months, a year, 2 years, and then all of a
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sudden, maybe your chemistry changes or you get
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hormonal with, menopause. I had some
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changes, and I had to change up all my meds. Yeah.
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So that takes some time and is not pleasant.
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Yeah. How do you feel like shit. Here we go
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again, or are you, like, better I don't know. Are
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you handling it better? Again, this sucks, but I also do handle
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it better because it's like, I know now
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that there will be an end to the misery that I will be able to
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come out and see the beautiful sunny day again
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when in the past, I would just be so down in
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the depths of despair. I've tried to take my own
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life before. I didn't see any way out. And now I know
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when I'm depressed that it's gonna get better.
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Oh my god. Right. Because now you have, like, tips and
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and tricks and tools to kind of help you get to
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that next day, right? Or that Yes. In some cases, it's
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just the next minute or the next hour. I love that
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you can recognize that. Now, when you were finding out, like,
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maybe the first or second time that your meds weren't working, were
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you at were you in a manic state, or were you at the at
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the other spectrum of that? I was at the other spectrum. I
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was incredibly depressed. And one of the things about
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coming off of things like antipsychotics and different meds that they use
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for bipolar disorder is they can really mess with your
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mind. I remember they took me off a med too fast one time
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about 10 years ago, and I literally started seeing
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things. Like, I saw a monster on the wall, and I don't normally do
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that. So I knew something was wrong. I had to go back to my psychiatrist
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and go, wait a minute. Put me back on that med, and
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then we'll wean off it slower or something because this is scary.
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Wow. Good for you, though, for being able to go back and speak
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and advocate for yourself because I probably would not
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find that very easy to do. Like, I'm like, oh, no. It's fine. I'll just
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it's gonna be great. But I think it's important to be able
00:10:02
to advocate for yourself. Yeah. Definitely. It was embarrassing. It's
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embarrassing to go and tell somebody you saw a monster in the wall. I mean,
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you're just like, it makes no sense. And you don't wanna be considered
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crazy in quotation marks. So, yeah,
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it was hard to admit to, but it definitely it got
00:10:21
me the treatment that I needed. Yeah. You said
00:10:24
something a minute ago. Sorry, you were asking. Nope. Go ahead.
00:10:29
I'll wait. I know. I'm well, it's all the red bull, but just
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like, ah, I got all these ideas. You said something a minute
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ago that I just wanna, like, kinda go back to because, like, I'm hearing it
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again, which is
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you when I asked, like, was it, like, shit. Here we go again because the
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meds are switching up, and you're you're having to deal with all of that. And
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you said no because you knew that it was happy and sitting on the other
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side. Like, you knew that it's better once you get through this. And I
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just wanted to say, like, I think that's huge, especially for our listeners
00:11:00
because not everybody knows that yet. Right.
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And so when you haven't gotten to see the sun or the shiny day on
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the other side, it's hard to know that it exists.
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So hearing it from somebody who's already seen it, like you and G
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Rex, both of you, I think, is really important to
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Yeah. I think that's why I do what I do is I want people out
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there that are in that spot where they don't feel like it's
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gonna get any better to know that this will pass.
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Yeah. And same for me. Like, you know, a lot like you, Amy, I had
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to put a lot of work in. Right? I've done 20 minute 20 months worth
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of work to get to the other side.
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But, like, I am a 1000000000 times happier now
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than I have been in 20 years.
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Right? And I look forward to the next day and the next minute and
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the next hour. Some days are hard, but, you know, at
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least now I know what my triggers are, and I have better tools to to
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deal with that. But I'm interested to find out from you,
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like, did you ever feel embarrassed
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or ashamed that you had a mental illness or afraid to
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share that with anybody? Oh, definitely. I didn't tell
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anybody except for my parents, and my parents were like,
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bipolar disorder. No. You don't have bipolar disorder because they
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just didn't like the label. They came around later and were like, okay. Yeah.
00:12:27
I see it. But that made it
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even worse because then I was like, oh, my parents don't even, like, believe
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it, so I'm not gonna tell anybody else. And I finally,
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after years, told my 2 best friends, and they were
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very accepting and like, yeah. We knew something was wrong.
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And and then it wasn't until I was
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in my fifties, so just this last year, that I decided to tell
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everybody. And it was really scary.
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I actually had a night where I was asleep, and I
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woke up and sat up straight out of dead sleep
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and just thought, oh my god, what the hell have I done? You
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know? And started thinking about my family and was that gonna
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embarrass them and that kind of thing. And I ended up
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waiting and calling my mom in the morning and saying, I'm so
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sorry. Have I embarrassed you? And she's like, no. You know? You're
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fine. You're just being you. So
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it was scary, but I've only had one hater, and it was kinda funny.
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So We have one hater, but I'm not gonna say their comment
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loud. But I did laugh at it, but also was like, fuck you,
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dude. Right. Most convinced it was a dude. Might not have been a dude, but
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fuck it. So it's interesting. So I thought when you said you're you set
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out of sat up out of bed, I thought you were gonna say, like, oh,
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it was so freeing. But you said the opposite where you're like, holy shit. What
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have I done? Yeah. And then hearing your mom say, no. You're
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fine. Was that like, oh, okay. That's what you needed to hear, or did you
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still have to work through being okay with letting everybody
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know? I still had to work through that just it was this
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anxiety. Like, my chest just felt so heavy. Like, oh my
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god. I can't take back what I just put on social media.
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Mhmm. And now my boss at work knows and my
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coworkers know and everything like that, but everybody has
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been so supportive. That's really good.
00:14:24
And don't you think it's because people
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realize now is the time that we start talking about this and not
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keeping it behind closed doors and that we let
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people know it's okay to talk about your mental you know, what
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you're going through mentally. Yes.
00:14:43
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally think we are in a new
00:14:47
time where people are freer to talk about mental health issues. I'm not
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the only one out here that calls myself a mental health lawyer. I didn't make
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that up. There's several out there and there's and
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I'm so happy every time I run into someone. When I found your guys'
00:15:01
show, was just so thrilled. It's just like I'm not
00:15:05
alone. Right. We're all in this together, guys. We
00:15:09
are. Yeah. So as a
00:15:12
parent, having children who are also you said you have a daughter
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that's on the spectrum? Yes. How has that been for
00:15:20
you to to navigate through through your own issues,
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but also showing up as a parent? That is
00:15:27
a wonderful question. My daughter and I used to
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butt heads like crazy, And I didn't understand. I
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thought she was autistic when she was little, and I took her to,
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Children's Hospital to get diagnosed. And they said she has all the
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signs and symptoms, but she makes eye contact, and she's
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too social, which later now we know that girls are
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more social and make eye contact more. It's called
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masking. And so later, she wasn't diagnosed
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until she was 12. And
00:16:00
I feel so bad for not trusting my
00:16:03
gut and believing that all these years because people kept telling
00:16:07
me you're being too easy on her. You just need
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to discipline her more. But the more I tried to
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discipline her and the harder I came down on her, the
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more she acted out. I mean, I have
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holes, like, huge holes in my walls that I need to get fixed from a
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couple years ago that I just haven't been able to afford to fix yet, but
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they are from when she was really upset and I did not handle it
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well. And that spiraled her out of control.
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So once she was diagnosed and we both went through
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counseling and therapy together, oh my
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god, she is like a different child. And
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I just I love spending time with her. She's so fun
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and yeah, it's a different environment now at my
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house. Yeah. I I'm I like that you went
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you went through it together. Yeah. Because that's gotta
00:17:02
be difficult. Right? Like, as a parent, I think the expectation is that
00:17:06
you know all the answers or or at least you're making an attempt to know
00:17:09
the answers. And when that's not the case, it's like, how do you adjust?
00:17:13
And I'm happy to hear that, like, you were like, hey. We're doing this together.
00:17:16
Like, we're gonna figure our own shit out as individuals. How
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are we gonna work together as a team and parent that way? Like, that's
00:17:23
how it should be. I'm also a big reader, so I read when I
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when she finally did get her diagnosis, I read everything out
00:17:31
there on girls with autism and masking and parenting
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and all of that and just changed the way I parented.
00:17:39
And and how did that affect her in school? Did you ever have to get
00:17:43
like, intervene in any type of anything that
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happened at in school for her? She hasn't had any
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violent outbursts there, but she has had, like
00:17:54
she went from a grade school where they even though she wasn't
00:17:58
diagnosed, they knew something was up and they worked with her. She had a
00:18:02
counselor all through grade school, and they would let her have fidget
00:18:05
spinners and things in class. And if she got really upset because she would
00:18:09
when she was little in grade school, like even in 5th, 6th grade,
00:18:13
she would get distracted or upset,
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and she would have to leave the room, or she would feel like she was
00:18:21
just gonna lose it. And so they had another classroom and a
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teacher for her to go to if that happened. So they were wonderful.
00:18:28
But when she went to the middle school, oh my gosh, we
00:18:32
went to 7 different classes that she had to switch between
00:18:36
and 7 different teachers and learning styles
00:18:39
and everything was crazy. So middle school
00:18:43
was hell and her grades went from As to Fs
00:18:47
and it was awful. She starts as a freshman
00:18:51
next year and and I keep hoping that it's gonna be better
00:18:55
next year. That's gotta be rough. That
00:18:58
has to be so hard because, like, I'm the helicopter
00:19:02
mom. Right? Like, I and and as don't you laugh at me,
00:19:06
dear ex. As as much as I want to protect
00:19:10
my son, I don't think I would make the best decision
00:19:14
in that situation. I think I would probably be like, okay. That's fine. Come
00:19:18
home, and I'll just I'll do it. I'll do it all. I'll make sure you're
00:19:20
great, and you're perfect, and you're fine, and everything's gonna be great. But I don't
00:19:24
think that everybody can do that. And I think that navigating
00:19:28
through the challenge is probably better than just taking it on your cell phone. It's
00:19:31
gonna be fine. I can't see all the Well, we live through COVID where she
00:19:35
had to do school at home, and
00:19:39
she hates Zoom. She can't focus on it,
00:19:42
and she will spin in her chair. I had the the teacher had to call
00:19:46
me and go, can you please get her a chair that doesn't spin?
00:19:50
She was just like not sitting there and could not pay attention,
00:19:54
and she still, to this day, hates to get on Zoom. So
00:19:58
homeschooling, because I'm not an educator.
00:20:02
Homeschooling was never an option. Yeah. I'm not an
00:20:06
educator either. That's why I think I would have made the bad decision. It's fine.
00:20:09
I got it. And then, like, went in a panic. Yeah. I have the
00:20:13
the most respect for teachers. Yeah.
00:20:17
The patience of the saint. Like Patience of the saint. But, you
00:20:20
know, this makes me think of we had a guest on recently,
00:20:24
Lori Moser, and she's out of Canada. And she has a
00:20:28
Facebook group for moms and teens with
00:20:31
mental mental issues. And huge advocate
00:20:35
and just a lovely lady, and you you really should check her out.
00:20:39
She's her, Instagram handle is,
00:20:44
staying active oh, please.
00:20:49
It is staying active, Lori, and she is
00:20:53
an amazing soul and such a great resource for parents
00:20:56
out there. Right? Because sometimes you guys just you you just
00:21:00
don't know where to turn. And, you know, medications
00:21:04
are changing every day and different modalities for
00:21:07
school. I can only imagine that school was
00:21:11
horrid because, you know, educators now just don't have the
00:21:15
tools that they need to help students. And, you know,
00:21:18
they're just trying to make it from, you know, day 1 to day 2.
00:21:23
And in the same at the same time, your daughter and other
00:21:26
kids are just trying to get through school.
00:21:30
They're just trying to learn, but their minds don't stop
00:21:33
and their hands are your hands have to be
00:21:37
busy. And, you know, I love the fact that you, like, really, like,
00:21:41
stood by your daughter and, like, helped her out as much as you could with
00:21:45
the tools you had about Yeah. Definitely. And
00:21:48
I'm speaking of tools. I've talked a lot about medication,
00:21:52
but my daughter and I both have been through individual and therapy
00:21:56
together. And I do a lot of things
00:22:00
to work on myself and personal development.
00:22:04
So it's I don't want anybody to walk away from this thinking
00:22:07
medication is the one end all be all,
00:22:11
and it'll fix everything because it doesn't. Yeah.
00:22:15
That's, yeah, that's huge to mention because it's I would imagine it's
00:22:18
every day. Just like, I mean, just like my therapy and the tools that
00:22:22
I had to learn, it's every day. It doesn't there's not a
00:22:26
button or a switch that just gets flipped and all great. Everything's fine.
00:22:30
Right. It takes the work every day. If there is a button,
00:22:34
I want it. Do you have any
00:22:37
plan in place? So if it is difficult transitioning into high
00:22:41
school for her, is there any anything that you maybe learned
00:22:45
from the last time? Well, she has a 504
00:22:48
plan. I don't know if you know what that is. It's like do you know
00:22:50
what an IEP is? Nope. An an IEP is
00:22:54
called an individualized education plan, and they
00:22:58
use that for kiddos like her or other diagnoses
00:23:02
that make it difficult for them to learn at school, and they
00:23:06
have to do accommodations and different modifications to
00:23:10
help them. So she has a 504 in place, and we meet a
00:23:13
couple times a year to revise it and say, okay. This is
00:23:17
working and this isn't. And that's just when we meet. I call them all
00:23:21
the time and go, why is her grade this way?
00:23:24
She's what they call 2 e. Have you heard of that? No.
00:23:28
She's twice exceptional. It means that she is
00:23:31
gifted, so she's very bright even though she's on the
00:23:35
spectrum. So she is getting f's
00:23:39
when she could be getting a's. So
00:23:43
that's really frustrating for her and I. Do you know
00:23:47
is there, like, a cause for it? Or Yeah. There's different
00:23:50
reasons. She was doing really well in math,
00:23:54
and then her math teacher had to go on maternity leave, and they
00:23:58
got a different a substitute teacher that taught in a totally different
00:24:02
manner. Mhmm. And she did not gel with that. So there
00:24:05
went her math grade. She also, because of the ADHD,
00:24:10
has a horrible time organizing her paperwork and getting her
00:24:13
stuff turned in on time. And she's like her mom. We're
00:24:17
both perfectionists. And so if she can't finish
00:24:21
the whole assignment, then she doesn't turn it in. And I'm
00:24:24
like, okay. We've talked now several times this summer
00:24:28
about even if you only fill out half of it, turning in half
00:24:32
of it is more points than none of it.
00:24:35
Yeah. Okay. There's a lot of different reasons.
00:24:39
So true. So I have a question about the five zero four plan.
00:24:43
Like, how did you know that it was even available for your
00:24:47
daughter? Well, that's a good question. I'm a social worker.
00:24:50
Okay. So I work with a lot of members that have
00:24:54
autism and other intellectual and developmental disabilities.
00:24:58
And so I've been to their 504 and
00:25:02
IEP meetings and things like that, so I knew that help was out
00:25:05
there. And are there 504 plans, like,
00:25:09
in all school districts, or is it just in your location?
00:25:13
The only reason I'm asking is that we might have a listener that
00:25:17
that has a child that, you know, needs extra help or
00:25:20
extra attention and, like, how they can go about that process.
00:25:24
Yeah. Definitely. It's in it's in all states in the United
00:25:28
States. It's just not effective at private schools.
00:25:32
So it has to be a public school, and then they're mandated to follow
00:25:36
follow those guidelines. The schools don't
00:25:39
always want to because sometimes it costs them extra time.
00:25:43
It costs them extra money to implement different things.
00:25:48
So they're not always real helpful.
00:25:52
You have to be kind of an advocate for your kid, and you have to
00:25:55
go to the counselor for your child at
00:25:59
the school and say, this is not working,
00:26:03
and I think she needs a 504 or an IEP. And then
00:26:07
they ask you for records from the psychiatrist and their primary care
00:26:11
physician, and that starts the whole process.
00:26:14
Wow. When did that when did, like, just getting your daughter the help
00:26:18
she needed start? Like, how old was she? The summer before
00:26:22
kindergarten, we started. Wow.
00:26:25
Yeah. Yeah. I knew something was wrong when
00:26:29
she was little and the daycare was calling me saying, you know,
00:26:33
she won't settle down. She's on the top of tables. She's
00:26:37
turning tables over. She's walking around the room like
00:26:40
crazy. You know? And they were they got to a point where they were
00:26:44
about ready to kick her out if I didn't get her some help. So I
00:26:47
knew there was a problem when she was really young. And how has
00:26:51
she handled that, do you think, from, you know,
00:26:54
seeing specialists, trying to figure out what what help she needed
00:26:58
from that early on in her life to where she is now?
00:27:03
I think once I was on board and really
00:27:06
knew what was going on and got myself together,
00:27:10
She's done a 180 and just been incredible, and she's
00:27:14
I wanna brag on her a second. She's a theater buff, and so she
00:27:17
actually just played, what's her name, not Medusa, in
00:27:21
The Little Mermaid. Oh,
00:27:25
that's so bad. I can't remember her name. I can see her. It's my You
00:27:29
know what? Had you not said Medusa, I think I would have gotten it. You're
00:27:32
talking about the she's the octopus. Right? Yes. Yes.
00:27:38
I'm looking Rita? I'm I'm looking it up. Thank
00:27:42
you. But she is wanna start singing the song. Otherwise, I would I
00:27:45
would literally say something. She did so incredible that we have
00:27:49
people coming up to us in town, perhaps eat, saying, oh my god.
00:27:53
We saw her in the musical, and she was amazing.
00:27:57
So Xerox, come come with a name. Okay.
00:28:01
I'm looking it up. I'm, like, not gonna be able to Okay.
00:28:04
It wasn't Melissa McCarthy. No. Yes. Well, Melissa McCarthy
00:28:08
paved the curb. She did. She was Ursula. Ursula.
00:28:12
Yes. Yes. Okay. We can all sleep tonight. Okay. Yeah. Yay.
00:28:16
Google for the win. K? Google. Go Google arms. Thank you.
00:28:20
Ursula, that's awesome. Wow. Okay. Cool. So she likes
00:28:23
musicals. Yeah. So she's
00:28:27
not afraid to be on stage in in front of an audience.
00:28:31
No. She is very proud of who she is. That's one thing I think I
00:28:35
did right is from the very get go. I told both of my kids,
00:28:38
I have a son and then I have her, and I've always told
00:28:42
them, you are enough. You are, you know,
00:28:46
everything I dreamed of. You're the reason I exist. You know?
00:28:49
You're a good person. Mhmm. That kind of thing. So I'm
00:28:53
very much into boosting them up, and I've always believed
00:28:56
that I should be the safe place for them to come to because the world
00:29:00
can get kinda dark. Yeah. So she's very
00:29:04
confident in who she is. And when she got the
00:29:07
final diagnosis of autism, I asked her how she felt about that,
00:29:11
and she said, nothing changes. I'm still me.
00:29:15
No. Yeah. I love that about her.
00:29:19
Yeah. Nothing changes. I, you know, I am just me.
00:29:23
Yep. That's that's so cute. And your son, how is he on the
00:29:26
spectrum at all? Or he's? No. He has ADHD, so
00:29:29
he's still neurodiverse. My mouse drive.
00:29:33
But he's grown. He's in his thirties, and he's got all 3
00:29:37
littles of his own, and he's married. So I had my
00:29:40
kids 18 years apart. I was about to ask him, like, how was
00:29:44
that, like, the upbringing, like, growing up together, having different needs, and
00:29:48
Yeah. Totally 2 different only children.
00:29:52
Yeah. That is
00:29:56
that's the perfect way to put it. And, like, 2 different experiences
00:30:00
for you. Right? Raising between the 2. Oh, yeah. And they're total
00:30:03
opposites. Yeah. That's
00:30:07
awesome. Do they like each other? They
00:30:10
tolerate each other.
00:30:14
Oh, like Inquiring minds just wanted to know. Yeah.
00:30:17
He was not happy when he found out I was having a kid and he
00:30:20
was 18 and in high school. And
00:30:24
so, yeah, he didn't like that. And then she's just
00:30:27
very dominant and very who she
00:30:31
is, and I think she rubs him the wrong way
00:30:35
sometimes. So they love each other, but they don't always
00:30:38
like each other. Yeah. Yeah. I can I can get
00:30:42
that? I don't think I got along with my brother until
00:30:46
probably until I went to college. I mean, we tolerate each other. We lived in
00:30:50
the same house. We were pleasant,
00:30:54
but we weren't, like, besties. You know what I mean? We
00:30:58
would find different ways to torment each other. That was how we bonded. I'm
00:31:01
just kidding. You're poor parents. There's something that, like, I
00:31:05
keep thinking about, though, like, listening to your story and just
00:31:09
how you and your daughter sought treatment for yourselves as
00:31:12
individuals and then, like, figuring out therapy together and all of that.
00:31:16
And I started to, like, kind of relate it to do you know the that
00:31:20
fucking book, like, the 5 languages 5 love languages or something? I've
00:31:24
read that. I actually was in a class on it years ago. I was
00:31:27
thinking, like, why don't they have that kind of a book for, like,
00:31:31
mental health. Right? Like Yeah. We work on
00:31:34
loving one another in relationships, but, like,
00:31:38
we should be able to know the other person's triggers or how
00:31:42
to effectively communicate with somebody based on all this stuff.
00:31:46
Right. Well and I think we're all products of how
00:31:50
we were raised. Mhmm. And so my parents did better
00:31:54
than their parents, and I hope I'm doing better than they did. And
00:31:57
I hope my children are doing I know my son is a much better parent
00:32:01
than I was. He's an incredible dad. Mhmm.
00:32:05
So, you know, it's all about progress. Yeah.
00:32:09
It it really is. You know, because for me I mean, you guys
00:32:13
are younger than I am, but, you know, I was raised to not ever talk
00:32:17
about mental health ever. Right. Like,
00:32:21
until you I woke up on Christmas Day 2022, and I was
00:32:24
like, I fucking need to talk to somebody. But
00:32:28
I think the schools need to do a better job of, you know,
00:32:32
talking about self love and self care and boundaries. And so that
00:32:35
people aren't waiting waking up in their, you know, twenties
00:32:39
thirties, forties, fifties, sixties,
00:32:43
like, what the fuck just happened? Right? Right. I think as an
00:32:47
education system, we need to get more resources out there and make them more
00:32:51
available for people. And we need to talk
00:32:54
about it more. We need to get them get the message out there that it's
00:32:58
okay to talk about this. It is. Because if we know if
00:33:02
something is going on, there's more
00:33:05
tools available to us now to help people out. Yeah.
00:33:09
Definitely. You know, and just checking yourself
00:33:13
too. Right? Like, don't be a don't be a dick.
00:33:18
Nobody needs to be a dick. So I have a couple of questions. Just
00:33:22
give me one. Oh. I'm the oh. She said,
00:33:26
oh. I'm like, it's not that bad, is it? No. Question number 1.
00:33:30
What has been the hardest lesson you've had to learn so far?
00:33:34
The hardest lesson? Probably
00:33:38
that life was gonna get better. I think that was the hardest lesson
00:33:41
because, I mean, I remember I started having
00:33:45
suicidal thoughts when I was a senior in high school,
00:33:49
and that was when I had my first attempt. And
00:33:53
there really were times where I didn't think there was any way
00:33:56
out, and I thought I was a burden to everybody that
00:34:00
loved me, and so I would be doing them a favor if I
00:34:03
ended it. So coming through that
00:34:07
has been the roughest part. Yeah.
00:34:12
What would you say to anybody listening who might have a similar
00:34:16
thought? That the mental
00:34:20
illness lies to you, tells you that
00:34:23
you're not loved, tells you that you're a burden, tells you that
00:34:27
it's not gonna get better, and you
00:34:31
have to find help. You have to reach out and find someone who
00:34:35
can bring you back.
00:34:38
100%. And for anybody that's listening that's
00:34:42
in crisis, call 988 because they
00:34:45
can help you with it. Get get you through to that next day, the
00:34:49
next minute, the next hour. I can attest to
00:34:53
that. I'm alive today because of them. Yep.
00:34:57
Next question. If you could go
00:35:00
back, and this might tie into what we were just chatting about. But if you
00:35:03
could go back to a younger version of yourself and give
00:35:07
yourself a piece of advice, how old would you
00:35:11
go back to? So how old are you, and what would you say?
00:35:17
This makes me wanna cry, so I'm gonna take a second. I would go
00:35:20
back to when I was 4 or 5, and I got sexually
00:35:24
abused. And I would tell myself that it wasn't my
00:35:28
fault, that I didn't bring it on, and
00:35:32
that I didn't have to live with that shame, that it was their shame,
00:35:35
not mine. Wow.
00:35:40
Wow. That make
00:35:44
that yep. Yep. Okay.
00:35:48
So we're gonna lighten up the mood just tiny bit. Are we gonna talk
00:35:52
about owls or crunches? I'm not talking about We have a safe word, so I
00:35:55
don't cry. Am I gonna suck it back in? No. You you you're
00:35:59
allowed to cry too. Hey. I've tried on a number of episodes.
00:36:03
So what is your favorite word,
00:36:07
Amy? My favorite word? Well, my word of the year, I'm gonna
00:36:10
go with that, is flow because I believe
00:36:14
that everything I need is gonna flow through me.
00:36:18
It's gonna come to me with ease, and everything I don't need
00:36:22
is gonna flow away. I love
00:36:26
that. Yeah. Oh, love, love that.
00:36:29
What is your least favorite word?
00:36:34
My least favorite word. I know my
00:36:38
least favorite behavior. My least favorite word is probably
00:36:42
stupid. Such a I
00:36:46
love that. I wanna know your least favorite behavior now. Yeah.
00:36:50
Lying. I I cannot say I'm lying. It drives me
00:36:54
insane. I would rather you tell me the worst news possible
00:36:59
than sugarcoat it and lie to me. I'm literally
00:37:02
working through this with my son. He's 6, and he'll lie about the dumbest shit.
00:37:06
I'm like, dude. Yeah. It doesn't matter how bad it is.
00:37:10
Just tell me. And I'm like, trust me. Trust me. You're gonna be better off
00:37:13
for it. Just tell me the truth because when I find out you're
00:37:17
lying, oh, that peeve. That's normal for
00:37:21
kids. Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. So no. I didn't drink the chocolate milk. I'm
00:37:24
like, well, it's in your hand and it's gone. Oh, yeah.
00:37:28
My son, I took a shower one time when he was about 3, and
00:37:31
he colored the whole entire living room wall in that 15
00:37:35
minutes. And when I came out and said, oh my
00:37:38
gosh. What did you do? He said, it wasn't me. It was Fuzzy,
00:37:42
or Pat. Did did
00:37:46
Fuzzy have a permanent marker in his
00:37:49
paw? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
00:37:54
So Plus. I I have one more question, and it's like kind of a
00:37:58
2 parter. So what do you and your daughter do now for
00:38:02
self love? Well, she's an artist, so she draws
00:38:06
all day long. She is drawing anime characters, and
00:38:10
she's incredible at it. Like, you cannot tell they're not from a professional.
00:38:14
So that's how she centers herself. I, myself,
00:38:18
I do a lot of journaling, and I do a lot of
00:38:21
guided meditation. I just find them on the
00:38:25
podcast apps, and I listen to a lot of guided
00:38:29
meditation. Okay. Cool. And then what do you do for
00:38:32
self care? I try to do things like
00:38:36
I try to turn up the music. I used to be big into music. I
00:38:40
was my first major in college was vocal performance,
00:38:44
and I kinda lost track of that. And
00:38:48
so now when I really need some self care, I
00:38:51
turn up the radio.
00:38:55
Any favorite artists? Oh, yeah. Dixie. Well, they're not called
00:38:59
Dixie Chicks anymore. The chicks. Yeah.
00:39:02
The chicks. Nice. The chicks. I like that.
00:39:06
I Amy, are there any, like, other tips and tricks that you
00:39:10
could give to, like, listeners out there that are kinda, like, just finding
00:39:14
out that they've been diagnosed or their child's being
00:39:17
diagnosed? Like, some things that they can do for themselves. So if they
00:39:21
don't harbor, like, ill will
00:39:25
or don't get so, like, wrapped up
00:39:28
in the diagnosis. Right. I think it's important
00:39:32
to remember that you're not alone and reach out to
00:39:36
other groups, whether it's through Facebook or groups
00:39:40
in person at local hospitals. But find
00:39:43
other people that are going through what you're going through
00:39:47
and talk with them, and then you don't feel so alone and you realize
00:39:51
that you're not weird or crazy. You just have this
00:39:54
diagnosis that makes some things harder. But
00:39:58
it's definitely lonely if you think you're
00:40:02
the only one with that, so I would say seek out others.
00:40:07
Mhmm. I love this. Thank you. Where
00:40:10
oh, sorry. Where can our, listeners by you mentioned you had a
00:40:14
podcast. What's your podcast title? It's called Advancing with
00:40:18
Amy, mental health warrior and neurospicy mama, and I
00:40:21
have a website, advancing with Amy.com.
00:40:26
And, you can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook,
00:40:30
Instagram under Advancing with Amy.
00:40:35
I'd love this. Thank you so much, Amy. Like Oh, thank you.
00:40:39
I'm enlightened. I got I learned something new today. I
00:40:42
know. I'm so glad. I really enjoyed this. Yay.
00:40:46
We did too. I loved it. It was awesome. Hi, all. Thank
00:40:50
you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G Rex. And I'm
00:40:53
Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review
00:40:57
this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback. We can't do this
00:41:01
without you guys. It's okay to be not
00:41:05
okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.