Tsvety Roo: Healing Through Solo Travel and Finding Yourself Again

[00:00:01] Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, our podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health. That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles and alongside my amazing co-host, G-Rex, we're here to share stories and tips from our incredible guests. Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health, offering practical advice

[00:00:26] and heartfelt support because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion. Tune in and let's start talking about the Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads. Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads. I'm here with the awesome Dirty Skittles and today we have

[00:00:52] an awesome guest. Spetty, welcome to the podcast. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. So excited. I'm so excited to get to meet you and to get to hear more about you. Where are you currently located? I'm in Bulgaria right now. Bulgaria. Eastern Europe. Yeah, so here's the craziest thing. Spetty and I, we did a pre-recording interview about a year ago and we had it patiently

[00:01:22] waiting. We had to kind of cut it short because she was crossing the border while we were doing the during the interview. Yes, it was a while. You just caught me at this moment in time where I had just finished climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania and I got this flight through Istanbul, Turkey and then

[00:01:46] just took a bus from there to my mom's hometown, which is in southern part of Bulgaria. And it was so wild because the border was all backed up. It was crazy. And then I knew I didn't want to miss our calls. So I was just like, well, you know, I'm just sitting around, not doing anything. So it was really wild. It made it very special though. Was it on FaceTime? Oh, that would have been

[00:02:13] hilarious. It would have came to the, like talking and grudging. Yeah. You don't want me on a border crossing. Yeah, I know you would have been famous in this Eastern European part of the world. Oh man. Whoa, you climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Yeah, that was a dream that I've had since I was 12 years old.

[00:02:40] And I love that we're starting from there because it's kind of like the ending in a way of the last three and a half years of traveling solo, predominantly solo. I'm going to put that in there because sometimes I did have some travels with a friend or two. And yeah, so the Kilimanjaro

[00:03:00] ended up becoming this realization of my dream after solo travel had, I guess, transformed me in a great sense of a word into believing in my dreams again and making things happen that I've thought about Kilimanjaro since I was 12 years old. And doing that is, it kind of gives me chills right now as

[00:03:28] I'm talking about it because I really want to share with everybody how the last three and a half years of traveling solo has built the confidence and all of that self-reflection and everything that we're going to talk about, I'm sure today, it just, it became that dream of Kilimanjaro became achievable and sort of available for me to actually pursue. And so, yeah, this is,

[00:03:57] can't wait to tell you guys all the stories. Why Kilimanjaro? Like, I guess, how did that dream become a dream? Like, what was it about that experience that you were aiming to achieve one day? So I started to think about Kilimanjaro when, and I like how I shortened it and like, you know, just Kilimanjaro makes it easier. I was like, ooh, Kilimanjaro, I gotta write that down. Yeah. You know, only like 19,000 feet or something. Just Kilimanjaro. I think we were so

[00:04:27] seventh grade, I'm going to say when I was 12 and seventh grade in Michigan. That's where I grew up. I grew up in Michigan. And I think we, that's where we just like read about geography or something. And for some really weird reason, and I think the universe has some, something to do with all of this. It was just sort of one of those things where like, oh, you know what? I want to climb

[00:04:48] that someday. And it just never left my brain since I was 12. And I revisited it, I would say more seriously when I was living in New York city in 2019. And I remember telling my boss when we were in the subway and I was like, you know, I think I want to, I want to climb Kilimanjaro. It's been on my mind for, you know, whatever, 20 something years. And I just remember my boss at the time,

[00:05:15] he's like, you don't even go to the gym. How are you going to make this happen? And I was like, well, you know what? But I like to walk a lot. And I hear it's just like basically a hike up there, which is, it's a bit true. You don't need special equipment. You don't need to be like an Alpine whatnot. Like everyday people can do Kilimanjaro. You just have to train a lot in a sense that to get

[00:05:41] your like stamina up and to be able to walk for 10 hours, 10, 12 hours a day. So yeah. Oh, a day, a day. A day. Yeah. Listen, I was just in the city and you know, I think I got like five miles a day and I was done. Like no way, girl. I love walking though. So that, that was not the problem. The issue I would say with Kilimanjaro

[00:06:08] for me is I have a sensitive stomach. And so they were, they provided the food for us. And, you know, I did it the bougie way with people carrying up all the food and all I had to do was just carry, I think it was a seven, seven kilo, which that's like 12, 13 pounds, something like that. Yeah. So, you know, that's all I had on my back, which is, you know, that you make sure to drink a whole lot of water, all of that stuff. But it just, the food didn't sit well with me. And

[00:06:38] that was a challenge. I'd say like day three was probably when I thought I was going to quit just from the, I had, uh, I don't know if we're, I mean, I know this podcast, it was literal shit that I was going on. Yeah. Lots of diarrhea there. Behind the scenes of, I'm sure there wasn't bathrooms readily available at every, Oh no. Go behind the rock.

[00:07:11] I like the idea of somebody being like, like if we did it G with a weak stomach, where's Charlene? She's behind the rock again. Give her a couple minutes. She'll be fine. She'll be out in like five, 10 minutes. Right, right, right, right. But like, so when you got to the summit, did you, did you cry when you got to the summit? Yes. How'd you know? I, because like we do these hard things, right? And we get, and we're, it's something that is

[00:07:38] like in our head. And like, when we finally do it, like you're not only super proud of yourself, but you're in such a surreal moment. That's where you're standing. And the only reason I can, I brought that, that brought that up is like, I just did a speaking event in New York city. Ooh, congrats. And a big one and had a bunch of like technical issues and ended up just having to close the

[00:08:03] laptop and speak my truth. But after that, I did cry. And I cried because like, this is something I had been dreaming about. And then I finally did it. And I was like, so proud of myself. There was a resilience and a pivot that I had to do. Yes, I was super mad and a little uncomfortable and I got inside my head. But then I was like, you know, I did this. And, you know, I think that's what you kind of went through is like, I've been dreaming with this since I was 12 and here I am now.

[00:08:33] Exactly. Yeah. I would, you go through all of the, just the rainbow of emotions, especially on summit night. Because I'm not sure if you guys know, but you summit starting midnight and then you basically hike all throughout the night. And I really didn't really understand exactly why they were saying something around, you know, it's the weather is calmer. It's not windy or I'm not really sure,

[00:08:58] but that's what most of the people do. If not all the groups are, and you can see it's like a little line of people just going up and their flashlights on their head. It's kind of, it's incredible. I wish I took a photo of that, but I just remember starting off, there was always, and I could talk about this forever, by the way, just let me know when you guys want to move on to a different topic.

[00:09:24] But I went through, I was like super angry at certain aspects that it was, you know, there was like, there was a miscommunication for a second. And then I just started, you know, yelling at my main guide and the poor person, like he knew like the emotions were tense. And I was basically taking it out on him. And he's like, Oh, I've done this for three years. She'll be fine in 15 minutes, which is exactly what happened. And then I felt terrible for yelling at him. And then, but it's like that,

[00:09:52] that like combination of adrenaline and fear and anger. And like, you just, you're not able to control everything that's happening. And then like you said, you get to the top and you just start bawling, you know, like there's, you can't hold it back. I don't even know if I wanted to hold it back. I was just like, I'm here. This is happening. I am freezing. It's minus 15 Celsius

[00:10:16] or Fahrenheit. I don't know what it is, but whatever temperature degree that we're looking at, but it was very cold up at the top, but just, that was the only part that was super, super cold. And then you don't stay up there for very long. You know, because of the altitude, they don't want to get, you don't, I was taking some altitude sickness pills, but, and I didn't have any issue, but there was a friend of mine had some problems. So you just want to make sure to get

[00:10:46] you down to lower altitude as fast as possible. Man. So you're up there, you have this moment of like realization that you've accomplished this goal, this dream of yours. Why did you mention the solo traveling being sort of like a catalyst to, to giving you the confidence that you could do that goal? Because it, just like you said, it was the, the transformation and the healing

[00:11:13] that I needed to go through in order to finally say like, I can actually do this in order to have that courage within myself. I think I was talking about Kili, but it was all such a far dream somehow. And it seemed a bit unachievable when I was in New York telling my boss about it, almost to a point of a joke, right? Even he said, you know, you're not, you don't even go to the gym.

[00:11:40] But when I started solo traveling, so I started in 2023 and reason for it, which this ties back with all that you guys do, which I love your podcast because it talks about all the struggles that we go through. And in, in 2022, I was so disconnected, mentally just completely drained. I had,

[00:12:07] I'd say probably not very much of a purpose in life. And it was such a hard and difficult time. And I was living in San Diego at the time. And it's just, come on, San Diego is one of the most beautiful cities. Yeah. Perfect weather, probably 365 days of the year. It's just stunning all the time. And when you're feeling so empty and so disconnected from yourself, it just, it's kind of

[00:12:34] like a cruel joke, right? Like, it's so beautiful and sunny again. And I am, and I'm just like not able to enjoy this and, or just like find the way that I used to have this passion for life. And how solo travel came as an idea is I took my first small act is what I call it. I took this long walk

[00:13:00] and ended up being six hours, ended up being crying and walking and crying and walking and all throughout San Diego. And I started asking myself some really deep questions about what did I actually enjoy in life? What, what made me come alive? And the most important one was when I said, what if I gave myself permission to go after it? Like, what if, you know, and then it took another nine months or so later to finally book that one wave ticket and then put my stuff

[00:13:30] some storage, sell a lot of my things, just do like eat, pray, love all the way. You know, it was crazy now to think back that I ended up selling the car, you know, You were full sending it. You were like, we're doing this all the way. We are. And that's not a very small action, but it just, the amount of, I was ready at that point.

[00:13:54] It was nine months after my, my walk and it just ended up being the best thing for me personally. So the, the lessons that I learned through traveling and now I can't even believe it guys, because my country, my last country and my number 46 was Macedonia. Wow. And I was, I was in Macedonia and it was just last month. And I was like, 46, how did this even happen?

[00:14:23] This is wild. So I'm like, I'm in Macedonia. Okay. Well, that's you, that's different. And I just never thought that would be the case that I would keep going for this long, that I would be so transformed by it. And it would have so many benefits. And one of them being just how I reconnected back to myself. There's so much more around traveling by yourself that you're

[00:14:49] spending so much time alone, but it's a different loneliness. And this is what I'd like to say to people. For me, I felt extremely lonely in San Diego, just sitting on my couch. But then when you start traveling solo, you have this fear that's going to be the same thing. But then you start, you're introduced to these cultures in these different countries and out of the sudden other travelers, or you meet with the locals and you, and I'm just so curious about that. And then you

[00:15:18] experience things that help you get in touch with yourself. You mentioned something earlier that what if you gave yourself permission to do those things? And I'm curious, why didn't you, why was that a choice? Like, why didn't you give yourself permission before?

[00:15:49] Because I was living the checklist life is what I'd like to call it. I did everything right. You know, I went to college, I got the job. Then I, you know, that my career progressed as a graphic designer. I moved to New York City to get even a better job. And, you know, I was like, yeah. And then pandemic hit and I got laid off and I had to move to California. I mean,

[00:16:18] I'm making it sound like, oh my God, I had to move. Oh no. Woe is me. The most beautiful place in the, yeah. San Diego. Yeah. San Diego. My, my cousin was living out there. So it was more from like getting closer to family after experiencing pandemic in New York and being laid off. So it's like, yeah, moving closer to family. But then I just didn't realize that there

[00:16:46] would be like such a cultural shock and just so, so much more of the, like from pandemic life. Just, just not feeling like that was my place. And I, I felt so disconnected and I kept going further and kind of spiraling like further into like a dark hole to say like, okay, well now I'm in my

[00:17:09] mid thirties at that point. And I don't know what I'm really living for. Like I did everything right. And then I also went on a rampage of finding a partner. Cause I thought that would be the solution. Yeah. First, the solution was, yeah, get like a high paying job and yeah, check. And then I was like, yeah, and I'm going to find my partner now and start going on crazy amount of dates. And of course,

[00:17:39] like that, that also does, it's really what's inside that's missing. Solo travel just opened that up for me. It's, it created the space to finally sit with myself to realize some hard truths. And I'm so glad that I did finally give myself that permission. Yeah. Where was your first trip? I went to Spain. Oh, very nice.

[00:18:06] I went to Malaga, Spain. I had been to a different city in Spain prior, so I felt a little bit safer, but I've never been to Malaga. And then that was my, it was a one-way ticket to Malaga. I wish I saved the stub. Oh, that would have been amazing. But I honestly thought I was going to be gone for just three months. That's all I thought. And then it's three and a half years later. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So you started, you went to Spain and you've been traveling for three and a half years. Is that what I'm? Yeah. Wow.

[00:18:36] Yeah. It's, it's been wild. So two years into the travels and at that point, I think I had averaged to about like 12 to 13 countries a year, which is a lot. Yeah. But the first year was a little intense. I was moving every two weeks and after six or seven months, my body was like, wait, you're going to have a constant cold and adjusting to jet lag.

[00:19:06] Like this isn't, it's not, yeah. So I learned how to slow travel, meaning now I spend longer in each place. I tend to come back to Bulgaria here because my mom and some family is here. And so I spent a little bit longer here as well. But it took some learnings. There's a lot of things from like a practical perspective, like how to not blow your money on some crazy Airbnb, you know, befriend

[00:19:32] people, look at Facebook groups. That's how I found my place in Budapest this past summer. And I spent three months there. So it's been a very interesting lifestyle, but I'd say two years into it, I decided to start doing these podcasts, which was, you know, last year. And the reason for that is because I kept getting asked this like very similar questions, like all the great ones that you're asking. And I was

[00:20:02] like, maybe there's something here where I can be helpful to other people with my story. And that became sort of the passion now. And it's like, wait, I can tell you guys what I've learned. And I hope that this can, you know, plant a seed in a way to say, oh, wait a minute, I could live a little bit differently. Or I could pursue, I could do something that's going to help me gain that

[00:20:29] confidence towards my dreams. And so that's how it started for last year. And then I really enjoyed that and did, I'm going to say probably like 30 or so podcasts or whatnot, which I know for you guys, you're like 19th season or something. I don't know anymore. 20th season. You're like, oh girl, 30, 30 episodes. No, it feels like, I don't know. It doesn't feel like it's been that long.

[00:20:57] It doesn't. But I do have a question. Like I have a couple. Is that okay, Skittles? I had a couple questions. So the first one I have is like, what are you doing for work? Are you just doing like little gigs, like side jobs and things like that? Yes. The great thing about graphic design is that I can't work remotely and I have been for a while. So it's freelance when I can get some projects.

[00:21:23] And yeah, and also the fact that I'm doing this at an older age, we're going to put that in quotation marks because I got something to add about that a little bit later, is that I also, there's a long point in my life that I was saving up to, for down payment for a house. And then reality hit in San Diego is when you're on a single income, I mean, you got to be making

[00:21:49] some really great money to be able to afford an entire house. And so I was like, well, you know, what if I take that down payment and I guess blow it on travel? And if you're doing it in a smart way, which is, I'm, I save a lot on accommodation and I thought like I've done dog sitting, cat sitting.

[00:22:13] I'm going to Finland for six weeks. I am plant sitting in Finland. I'm just watering plants and like there's free accommodation there. So there's a lot of different tricks to extend that money with what you have and still have the travel lifestyle. And of course, I'm not staying at five-star resorts. That is for sure. But then I'm also not doing like hostels every day. So.

[00:22:40] I mean, you're clearly staying at somebody's house who can afford to get a plant sitter as they go away. You know what I mean? I mean, he's a friend that I met on the travel. Oh, that's so cool. And somehow ended up, he's like, well, you know, if you want to come back to Helsinki, I'll be going to Mexico for six weeks to visit my family. I'm like six weeks. That's amazing. I'm like, yes, I would like to come to the hotel. He's like, yeah, please don't like kill my plants. I'm like, I will do my best. I am not the greenest of thumbs.

[00:23:12] I feel like water got it. Yeah, I was like, okay. Probably over watered. Right, right, right. One of them was looking a little dry by the time he came back, but it survived six weeks. So where's the worst place you've ever slept? Slept. Oh, I'm going to have to say Singapore at a hostel because my bunk person, I was on the top,

[00:23:42] he was on the bottom and he snored so loud. And it was two in the morning and I had to go downstairs and I say, guys, I'm sorry. There's no way I'm going to sleep through the night and I'm paying to sleep here. I know it's a hostel, but like this man is just clearly needs like a CPAP machine or something. It's this insanity.

[00:24:07] And they put me on the, which was also very cool because then when they moved me to the upper floor, the next morning I ended up befriending one of the girls that was there. And we ended up like going to a walking tour together and hanging, they're just hanging out the whole entire day. And then we befriended another person that was on that same floor. And it was so funny because all of us were in our late thirties and we're like the old hostile people.

[00:24:37] And we just like created a band of older hostile people, which, yeah. So I feel like this age thing is coming back up again. A lot of people, there has been a little bit of judgment, especially in the beginning when I said to people, yeah, I'm 37 and I don't, I have like, I live out of a suitcase and all of these seven.

[00:25:02] So I had people say, well, isn't that like a 22 year old backpacking life? Like, what are you doing? And I think there's a lot of stigma around that. I said, well, you know, I don't, I'm not 22. So that one passed. And I also don't want to wait till I'm 62. And this is, I want to see the world now. I feel that my life can use something from the place that I was in mentally.

[00:25:32] And it turned out that I was lucky enough that following that also dream of travel was the healing that I really needed. And so when people are judging in a way to say, oh, you know, your way to work, I kind of now understand that maybe that's something they're projecting onto seeing, you know, like they thought that they could only do it when they're younger or retired.

[00:26:02] And so like, fast forward to me creating this photo book behind me. I put a lot of, a lot of those type of questions in there. Like, you know, what, why do we put such labels on ourselves? Like we're too old for things or, and then I started to dig into that as well. And there was another girl that I met in that, that's, I put that in my photo book as a story

[00:26:32] that I met in Croatia. And she is from Sweden. And she was so funny because as I walked in and she goes, oh my God, I think you're around my age. And I said, how old are you? And she's like, oh, I'm 36. I'm like, girl, I'm 39. Relax. She just felt so much better. Cause you know, she's like, I'm, you know, everyone else here is like 20. And I mean, like, it was interesting.

[00:26:58] And that's so, there's so much pressure that we put on ourselves around what kind of life we should be living at what age. Yeah. And I don't think you should have to put an age on that, right? Like if you're living your authentic life and doing the things that make your heart happy, screw everybody else, right? Like they're not in your shoes, but I do have another crazy question for you.

[00:27:26] What's the most unhinged thing you ever packed? Unhinged thing? When you say unhinged, like what do you mean? What's the craziest thing you ever found in your bag? Like you, it made you think about like, why did I pack this? Oh, oh yeah. A VPN router. Okay.

[00:27:54] I thought that I was just like, oh, I really want to watch the great British baking show in whatever country I'm in. So I have to get the VPN. So I pretend that I'm in the UK. Yeah. Okay. What? Yeah. That was pointless. There's no need to carry a VPN router with you. You could now do it on the computer. So that was just not the smartest. Yep. Don't do that.

[00:28:23] Compared to 2019, to where you are now, do you think you're in a much better mental health space than you were in 2019? Oh, 1000%. Because you were able to find yourself. I gave that, I'm going to say, I let myself breathe.

[00:28:46] And I wasn't just doing what I was supposed to or what other people basically, and not anybody specifically, just society in general was just pressuring is what I thought. I'm sure that pressure came from me mostly, but I just felt so much pressure to live and do in the way everybody else was.

[00:29:11] And so now there's this understanding that not everybody's lives look the same way and follow the same path. And there's a little bit more of a less shame around that. I would say a lot less shame because we feel so much or I did. I felt so much shame that I hadn't achieved certain milestones in my life by certain ages.

[00:29:38] And after opening myself and traveling to all these different cultures and realizing that there's so many different ways to do this. I mean, and I think seeing it and being there and meeting different people, just that experience of having just changed my perspective around it. It's like, no, we don't always have to, all of us be in the same path.

[00:30:08] Yeah. Where, where is there somewhere you haven't traveled that you want to go next? Japan. That's an easy question. And I feel like that I'm saving Japan. I don't know why. I'm just like saving it. Is that I could have gone, a friend of mine went last year and she's like, do you want to come? And I was like, no, I want to save it. I don't know why. There's something about it. I'm going to say I'm saving. It's the next Kilimanjaro.

[00:30:38] It's Japan. It could be. Yeah, it could be. So is there some place, is there a place that you visited that you went once and you probably don't ever want to go again? Okay. She's like Florida. It's kind of similar because it's got beaches. And so Cyprus, poor Cyprus. I'm so sorry, Cyprus.

[00:31:09] It was funny because I was actually on a podcast last year and the woman interviewing me, she lived in Cyprus for 30 some years. And when she asked me about the worst place and I said, well, Cyprus, but I know why. I have reasons. And she's like, what? No, you have to come back so I can show you Cyprus. The reason at that time, I didn't really realize that how to, because it was very early on into the travels.

[00:31:37] And when I went to Cyprus, it was, I chose a place, a city that's very much resorts, not a whole lot of culture. I went at the super wrong time. It was right after Easter. It was hard to get taxis, hard to find anything that was working. And people were still celebrating a day or two after Easter because that's the biggest holiday.

[00:32:02] And so not doing my proper research, I learned now, you know, before I go to a place, I figure out like, what's the safety like for a female solo traveler? What, you know, I have my checklist of all the things that I should do. Are they going through a crazy holiday that everything is closed? And so Cyprus, that was like strike number one, just hard to get around in that specific city, which is on the coast. There was a lot of resorts.

[00:32:31] It didn't feel super authentic and all in that. So I had to switch. I had problems with the Airbnb, no Wi-Fi. Then I went to the next one and I encountered these Jurassic Park ants, which people, if you've been to Cyprus, you're going to see these ants. And they're, they are ridiculous. And they were everywhere in that apartment. And it was just so, it just kept getting like, I was like, what else is going to come at me? Come on, Cyprus. What's happening?

[00:33:00] It was not a good place from that perspective of, I didn't plan properly. And a combination of, from not understanding that islands have limitations. So when you go and kind of similar with Bali, just they're different than if you're in mainland Europe or, you know, in the U.S. or wherever else. Jurassic Park size ants. I'm going to Google image that later.

[00:33:30] It's like Jurassic. Ants in Cyprus. Well, it's like, you know, Jurassic Park, like Palmetto roaches. The Palmetto roaches. Yeah, they're gross. They're like this fucking big. And they fly. And they don't die. I would be very afraid of those cockroaches. The ants, I was, I was like, what are you guys? They're like, you don't even look like, you know. They're in Jurassic Park. Yes. That's what we are. They all had Bob the Builder hats on. Yeah.

[00:34:02] Yeah. But no, most of the time though. And I wouldn't say it's even that bad of a place. So I would probably go back to almost everywhere. I went back multiple times to South Africa. That was incredible. Just safaris and the nature and wine. Oh, that's great. I'm going back to Finland again. It's my third time.

[00:34:29] So it's not, I would say initially it was one of those things where I was like, oh, I want to see as many new countries so I can check them off the list. That has also changed a bit. It's not so much that I'm counting countries as to where do I really feel that I've made some sort of a community and I feel really aligned with this place. And I kind of start to go back to the same ones. Yeah.

[00:34:58] Do you like, I don't know, like when you travel by yourself, are you, do you have a list of things you're going to do when you're there? And I ask this because in my brain, this is completely out of my comfort zone. So if I was to travel alone, I'm just going to stay in the hotel. You're just going to have a bubble bath, watch a movie and sleep in a bed alone. Like that's all I'm looking forward to. Okay. But that's a big jump though for some people.

[00:35:26] So if, and that's what, you know, that's why I also tackle in my photo book back there because it's, don't jump into traveling by yourself without going to lunch first by yourself or a movie by yourself or just like a weekend trip by yourself in a nearby town. Because I wouldn't recommend that. It just, it's like too much. Oh my God, I'm in a foreign country. And then like people are speaking weird languages around me and it's a bit like sensory overload.

[00:35:53] And so when you start to build up that a little bit like, Hey, this is cool. Like I can do lunch here. I can do a weekend here. And like, let's go international. And then you go international. Now I want to, so the first thing that I always do is I sign up for a free walking tour. And usually, you know, it's not really free because you got a tip at the end, but it's fine.

[00:36:15] And, and I've met quite a bit of solo travelers on those walking tours where you end up finishing the tour at let's say 1130 AM. And then you just kind of look at each other. You're solo. I'm solo. Let's go get lunch. You know? And that happens quite a bit. Then I try to look at, especially in Europe where there's meetups, meetup.com and like what's happening that day. And there's a lot of like nomads getting beers or something. And then you just kind of show up.

[00:36:43] And I've recently been asked, you know, it's funny how I am an extroverted person, but now three and a half years later, I have become like expert friend maker. I think that should be a title. Making friends is a new skill set I should put on my resume. I have like the second question after, like a lot of people ask me like, aren't you afraid to travel solo by yourself as a woman?

[00:37:12] And then number two is how do you make friends so fast? And where do you start? So when I go to those, let's say meetups or walking tours and whatnot, I just kind of scan around and see which person is smiling. Or like, who's just, who has a friendly energy? And I just go beeline straight to that person. And I say, what's going on? I see you're smiling.

[00:37:41] And literally that's it. That is the secret to the secret sauce. Somebody just looks at me and gives me a smile. And I'm like, yep, okay, there you go. That's my opener. And my friend that I was telling this to, she was asking me, she's like, how do you just do this? And I was like, yep, that's the secret. And she's like, okay, so you're basically just gauging for friendly energy and an open person. And I said, yep, that's it. That's cool. That's cool.

[00:38:09] So the book that you have, it's photos of your travels? Yes, photos of my travels, but it's a combination because, guys, I don't want just like a passive book. That's not the goal. This came up this year. So last year I was podcasting and everybody kept asking me like, where's your book? Where's your book? And I said, okay, well, I guess I have to write a book. And I went to Vietnam this year.

[00:38:39] Really great. I love Vietnam. It's one of, I'd say, top five destinations. And I combined it with a week-long retreat in Vietnam, which the organizer I met in Berlin a year prior randomly on this. Okay. Side note. That's a whole different story. But I am in Vietnam and I get there and there's 12 other writers and we're all from all over the world, all different ages as well, starting 24 to 64.

[00:39:10] And I just remember, I was like, I'm here to write a memoir. And that was my day one of the retreat. And then six days later, I was like, I am not writing memoir. Like, that is not happening. Just based on all that I was reading, all the projects that the other people were doing.

[00:39:25] I was like, whoa, this is out of my comfort zone now in a way that I was forcing myself to be somebody completely new and starting from scratch and ignoring all of the talents that I already had, which is graphic design and photography and telling stories in a more like a chat-like format and like fast pace versus pages and pages of, you know, just my story.

[00:39:54] And so Vietnam helped me with that. And so I started sifting through all the stories in February, all my photos. And they just, it immediately came. Like when I, there's the Croatian photo that I had and I was like, oh, I have to tell the story about the age, you know, how I walked into the hostel. And she immediately resonated with how we're the same age. And then I was like, the lesson here is that you're not behind. You're not at the wrong age.

[00:40:24] Like you can do it all this time. And so I created also questions for, for the people to have it as actionable is that this is the situation. This is the photo. But I really want you to ask yourselves, like, what if you don't go through life feeling that you're behind or that you're, you just, what if you give yourself that, that you're not on the wrong timeline or that you're not missing those milestones?

[00:40:52] And that's, I really want it to be in a way, just like a self-reflection in a personal way. So you can take those small actions yourself. Like, I don't, I want action guys. I don't want you to just look at my pretty photos. I want you to think about stuff. Yeah. Yeah. As I was listening to you, I'm like, oh, it's like the questions that we would have to ask ourselves to give ourselves permission, essentially. Right.

[00:41:20] Like, and a beautiful photo along with it. So yeah, it's really cool. Yeah. No, it's, it all just sort of came this year. I'm super proud of it because it's very much with, I want to tell visually, here's all the stories, but like just so much of this can be, you don't have to travel solo. Like I happened to learn all the lessons when I was in different countries, but there's, they're not very difficult in a way to say.

[00:41:50] There's, there's my example of my acts. One of my favorite acts, small act is carry home with you wherever you go. And then the story about that is when I was in Helsinki the first time in Finland, I went into a candle shop and I started to just cry. I talk a lot, talk a lot about crying for a lot of things. I was barely crying as a common thread. And I started to cry in this candle shop in Finland.

[00:42:18] And I just remember the salesperson was like, are you okay? What's going on? And I just looked up and I said, I don't have a home to take this candle to because I gave up my apartment in San Diego and I was living out of a storage unit. And then that's when it clicked for me is that, you know, why does home have to be a specific place? Yeah.

[00:42:40] Why can't it be with where you feel the most comfortable, where you feel community, where, you know, it could be multiple places. Like now I think I have many homes in different, in different countries with different people. And so now I have a little bit of a ritual. Whenever I go to a place, I go buy a candle and I make it my new home. And so that's kind of the, you know, what can you take to remind you of being at home wherever you go?

[00:43:10] I love that. We got two questions for you. If you can go back in time to a younger version of yourself and give that younger version some advice, what are you going to tell yourself and how old are you?

[00:43:33] Oh, it would be anytime during my twenties, anytime when I was stressing out over creating the best PowerPoint for a client. And I would tell myself like, this won't matter.

[00:43:51] This PowerPoint will, and just losing so much, so many nerves and stressing out and staying up late to finish that project to make it look as beautiful as it can be for the sales pitch or whatnot. Oh, I wish I could have saved some of those nerves. So anytime in the twenties decade. There you have it. And my last question for you is, what has been the hardest lesson you've learned?

[00:44:20] Ooh, that's a good question. The hardest lesson is, it has to do with we, is a bit of a confession for sure, is that I have underestimated my abilities.

[00:44:47] And just pushing myself past the fear has opened up, not just the world, but to myself that like, wow, you can accomplish so much more than, and you were just underestimating yourself. And that was really hard because you don't think you're underestimating what you can do while you're living.

[00:45:11] But I really, and Kilimanjaro, coming back to Kilimanjaro, it was, oh, can I even do this? This is crazy. And then once it was done, it was, yes, it was challenging. Yes, it was hard. Yes, you know, there was day three with the diarrhea. Yeah, but I should, there's, I don't like the word should, but just having that understanding that you can achieve so much more than you're giving yourself credit for.

[00:45:40] That was probably one of the hardest lessons to just say, oh man, why didn't I have more confidence before? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So now I have a couple of questions. Oh. Yeah. I'm scared. Apparently they should be because they're hard for everybody. If your anxiety had a theme song, what is it and why? My anxiety had a theme song? How?

[00:46:09] Oh my God, it has to be something repetitive. Ooh, what was the, what was that one? And this is probably going to give away my age, but it was like, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Oh, oh, what was that song? You guys know what I'm talking about? No. Yeah. The blues. Oh, I'm blue. Yeah. I don't know why, but I feel like it's like so repetitive and I'm just like, oh, this feels anxious.

[00:46:38] I feel anxious just listening to the song. So I'd say that one. That was the first one that popped up in my head. That's perfect. What is your favorite word? My favorite word? Travel. Perfect. And what's your least favorite word? Afraid. Love that. Love that.

[00:47:05] So how can our listeners find out more about you? Oh, so I am on Insta. I'm on YouTube. I'm on all Facebook, whatever you want to do. But also you can find me at 21smallacts.com or spediru.com, which is a little bit tougher to spell. So they both lead to the same website. So 21 with the actual number 21smallacts.com.

[00:47:31] And yeah, I'd love to hear from people that just don't hesitate to say, listen, I got the book. Here's what I resonated most. I love hearing that. I love hearing the feedback of what, which small act is the one that kind of pushed you out of your comfort zone. I have a friend that got the book and she loved the one about home and the candle.

[00:47:57] And that's why I immediately, I was like, I got to say that one on the podcast. Because my friend was just, she loved it so much that, yeah. So yeah, please. I would love to hear from anybody. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. This was super enlightening. Yeah, I loved it. So, so good. So, so good. Thank you. Thank you to you both. And this was worth the wait. I waited a year.

[00:48:28] But I knew it was going to be incredible as soon as we were talking while crossing the border. But yeah, we're going to make a great episode. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Thank you. I love it. Thank you both. You're very welcome. Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback. We can't do this without you guys.

[00:49:07] It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.