Overcoming Childhood Adversity and Discovering the Power of Therapy and Self-Reflection with Guest Deandre

G-Rex [00:00:00]:
1.

Deandre [00:00:01]:
Oh.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:02]:
Oh, there's balloons. Did you just eat balloons?

G-Rex [00:00:04]:
I saw the balloons too. I don't know what that is.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:07]:
Coming from? I don't know.

Deandre [00:00:10]:
Yeah. Every time you do the countdown, you get to the

Dirty Skittles [00:00:11]:
Let's do it again. Let's do it again. Ready?

G-Rex [00:00:13]:
Okay. 32,

Deandre [00:00:18]:
1.

G-Rex [00:00:36]:
No balloons. What? I don't know. Okay. Let's do it again.

Deandre [00:00:39]:
Okay. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:00:39]:
Yeah. This is for

Dirty Skittles [00:00:40]:
real this time. We're going

G-Rex [00:00:41]:
mean, after this. You ready?

Dirty Skittles [00:00:44]:
Welcome back to another episode of shit that goes on in our heads. Today, Dirty Skittles and G Rex are joined by Deandre. Welcome to the podcast, Deandre.

Deandre [00:00:56]:
Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's been a lifelong dream to be on this podcast.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:00]:
We're making dreams happen. We are making dreams happen.

Deandre [00:01:06]:
Right.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:07]:
So, Deandre, what are you comfortable sharing with the world today?

Deandre [00:01:11]:
Pretty much everything. That's why I wanted to ask what the content thing was Yeah. So that I could, be on the same page. So I like I like fun.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:20]:
Do I have fun? Yeah. I like fun.

Deandre [00:01:22]:
I semi like raunchy. No. I'm just like that's what married people say. Yeah. I love raunchy.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:27]:
A little raunchy, a little spicy.

Deandre [00:01:29]:
So, yeah, I'm gonna follow suit, and then I'll give details where needed. But I'm excited to hear the questions, to hear what you guys talk about, and what topics we walk into.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:37]:
Yeah. Alright. Sounds good. You ready to have some fun, G Rex?

G-Rex [00:01:42]:
I am ready to have some fun. I'm super excited about this too.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:46]:
Yeah. For the listeners, G Rex is on a heavy, dose of Mucinex. So she's feeling real loopy. Let's see what kind of trouble we can get her into.

G-Rex [00:01:55]:
Oh, yeah. I'm just gonna tell you. Don't don't take half a gummy and chug night cloth at the same time. Oh. Because then you don't sleep at night.

Deandre [00:02:04]:
Oh, it worked against you.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:07]:
It attacked you. So, Deandre, I'm pretty interested. I mean, I know you're on a personal level, and I think you have a really good story, to share with the world specifically about your come up. You have a couple of businesses under your belt now, but you weren't always this put together. Right?

Deandre [00:02:26]:
That is correct. Very much. I would say in the last 4 to 5 years, I really kinda started to grasp an idea of how to run a business. And then in, like, the last 2 or 3 years, I've been able to start to implement those things, so I feel good going forward. Now The course of my life, when I look back, was pretty much be told to do something smart, don't do the smart thing, get in trouble, start over. Yeah. Like, that was that was it. I think, there was a point in my life, if there was a bad trust to be made, I did it.

Deandre [00:03:01]:
Like, it could be good choice, good choice. Good choice, bad choice.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:05]:
Always?

Deandre [00:03:06]:
Oh, until recently, yeah, I was very, very, very slow to mature. And as a matter of fact, I tell people my 1st marriage, the only reason I got married because I was 29 and I was almost 30, and my brain just said, dude, when are you gonna grow up? You can't just keep running out in the streets and that kind of stuff. And my family who is, you know, they well, I was adopted. I forgot to let you in on that. But they, g rex. G rex.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:34]:
It's terrible headed it up.

G-Rex [00:03:35]:
G rex. Start your sentence

Deandre [00:03:36]:
over right now. G rex. G rex. G rex. G rex. Alright. It's committed to memory now. But they they were not happy with going to have a kid out of wedlock that just did not go there, So I let them talk me into it.

Deandre [00:03:50]:
And when I started to put together how I got in the situation that my ex wife was throwing at me, I wish I would have known myself better and had more confidence to say. I don't know her well enough. I would not like to get married, But I had this thing about owing them, and they done so much for me. And so the guilt got to me, But we did pregnant, married, moved in together, and engaged all in a period of 6 months. Wow. So before the baby. Before the baby. Yeah.

Deandre [00:04:26]:
We we had the yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:04:27]:
Fast pass.

Deandre [00:04:28]:
Fast I'm telling you. So If I if I had it together, I think that would have been a hard transition. The fact that I didn't and wanted to sad that, Yeah. It is sad. The 1st night I went out after I was married, I bumped into a girl that I used to date. And within 5 seconds, I had taken my ring off my finger because I'd never wanted to be married. And I I I was never good At cutting off advances from females, like, ever. It really caused me a lot of problems.

Deandre [00:05:04]:
It was fun, But most of my adult problems came from women and money. So anybody who's listening, anybody who's younger, get ahead of your responsible things. You do not Wanna play catch up.

Dirty Skittles [00:05:16]:
Oh, I mean, I think there's adults now that can use that as a lesson. Dang. Okay. So You had the Fastpass, got married, moved in together, became a new parent, went through those struggles. What led you to the next chapter? Because you you mentioned ex wife. So how did you come to terms with, okay. This is it, and I need to get out?

Deandre [00:05:40]:
The day she grabbed my balls and squeezed them, and my son was, like, standing in the room. Now that's just like when they show you a show and that's the end. I'm gonna go back and tell you how we got there. To be fair to her Okay. I left her like, I was out of the house 4 or 5 times before I left for good. I would just be out and gone for a month because I did not like being there. Because I had a background that had violence in it, I have been in the juvie system and that kind of stuff. I was very, very, nervous about getting into a domestic thing with her.

Deandre [00:06:17]:
She's, Caucasian, and the neighborhood we live in is mostly that. And I called my dad who's a lawyer, and he was just like, even if she's in the wrong, that won't look good for you. He said, I used to be a prosecutor. You're probably going. So I was grateful for them on that. But, if anybody's ever watched the Chappelle show when he said Rick James had an aura and he was just glowing.

Dirty Skittles [00:06:40]:
Mhmm.

Deandre [00:06:41]:
I had stayed out all night. I came home at, like, 7 in the morning. I got my son. I went to play flag football. I went to play basketball. I came home about 5. I started giving my son a bath, and she came in. Where are you going? I can't put up with I can't do this anymore, and my glow started.

Deandre [00:07:00]:
And I stood up. I said, you know what? You shouldn't have to do this anymore. Leave it. And I'm telling you for about 20 minutes, I was just zoned out. My brain went, Call somebody for backup and get far away from here. Mhmm. I don't believe I would have been able to not get physical with her. I just I don't think so.

Deandre [00:07:19]:
I have pretty pretty bad impulse control sometime. So and the not good decisions. Good job, Derek, on that one. I just kinda Got away, and, I went to the bank and took out $1,000 so that I could that really pissed her off. She liked money. But, and just so I could restart and got one of those efficiency places, that was it. I never I never looked back.

Dirty Skittles [00:07:43]:
Nice.

Deandre [00:07:44]:
So it was to answer the question, it was a build up to it, and this day just just felt like it.

G-Rex [00:07:50]:
Yeah. So, Deandre, I have a question. Was that so you were, like, 29/30 when that happened. Right?

Deandre [00:07:58]:
Yeah. At this point, I was about 33.

G-Rex [00:08:01]:
About 33. Were you, like, scared, or Were you just trying to, like, reevaluate your life at that, like, one moment? Yeah. I mean, because it takes a lot to walk away from that kind of situation.

Deandre [00:08:15]:
Yeah. It was probably my past. We, we had got into it before, so I kinda felt it escalating. And, unfortunately, I had a incident like that in my twenties. And right before it happened, my brain was like, get out of here. It just so happened that at that time, I was chugging a bottle of vodka. The girl I was with was the worst person for me. It was just completely toxic, And that is why you should not focus on sex in a relationship because her thing started every time we broke up.

Deandre [00:08:50]:
No matter how much it was her fault, At some point, I'd be like, dang. That pussy good, though. And then

Dirty Skittles [00:08:58]:
Complete it. Sorry. And I I was Not prepared for the pussy with the hard g, but I'm here now. I'm I'm awake. I'm not

Deandre [00:09:05]:
And and, you know, I'd be sitting on her stairs, and, you know, backgrounds affect people a lot. I'm glad that I know that older, and I hear Some people say it now. They wish they got therapy, how to manage stress in school, because there's a lot of classes people don't have to take. And then you're just expecting people to be doing this stuff without much guidance and all of that. And, you know, I believe in in therapy and all that now. But the girl who was not very good for me, very trouble well, actually, first, she had a, what I would say, middle class Lifestyle, her both of her parents worked, but then she started dating a drug dealer, but she was a full time nurse. And so, like, that's how she couldn't get it together. According to her, she came to Orlando from New York

Dirty Skittles [00:09:53]:
Mhmm.

Deandre [00:09:54]:
Because, her, Ex would never let her wear dresses. He was selling drugs. She was in a shootout and all that kind of stuff. So my belief is, like, I probably look like a good catch Compare it. Like, he's from this nice family. You know? I'd you know, talk nice, act nice, but not my best moment. I'm not Man.

Dirty Skittles [00:10:16]:
While you were going through these difficult situations, because you mentioned, like, you know, if kids had guidance, like, you kind of threw that in there. Was there anybody that you went to for help or advice, or were you just sort of figuring it out on your own?

Deandre [00:10:30]:
At which time in my life, like, ever?

Dirty Skittles [00:10:33]:
I think in these 2 relationships you've just mentioned. Like, when you met,

Deandre [00:10:40]:
I was just help. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:10:41]:
Like, did you have anybody you would go to for advice?

Deandre [00:10:44]:
Yeah. I I think a lot of my friends told me not to marry her, And, you know, I probably wouldn't, but they also, I don't think, didn't understand my situation, and they probably didn't know that I didn't have the balls to do it. Didn't have the balls, and I really, like, I really didn't know myself. If I was able to say, you want nothing to do with Mary, like, you're still chasing skirt, Figure it out. So my friends helped a little bit. Some coworkers there was when things were happen, happening because within 2 weeks, she kinda showed crazy. Within 2 weeks. And this was an idiot move.

Deandre [00:11:22]:
Now that I think about it, I gaslighted her a lot. I apologize wherever she is. But at this particular time, I was at a place where her and 3 other people that I had slept with or dated. Like, in one place, because that was cool. I'm a show my boys, like, I got all of them. Like, I did her, her, her. And I walked away with my friend, and she found me and was going Crazy. Like, crazy screaming at me.

Deandre [00:11:45]:
So how everything is clear in the den, that's when I shoulda left. You know? But, you know, sometimes I don't quit.

Dirty Skittles [00:11:52]:
Hindsight.

Deandre [00:11:52]:
Hindsight.

Dirty Skittles [00:11:53]:
Got it. So what was the turning point for you to start, I guess, getting it together and making different decisions?

Deandre [00:12:02]:
That was a big start of it. The fight with my aunts about time with my son really helped me start to turn it around. My current wife and her mom came at about the right time. So I got this little 1 bedroom apartment. I hadn't met her mom, and they brought me, like, cleaning supplies and that kind of stuff. It was little, but it was just like someone cares in that moment. Yo. I'm sure I had no idea how much I was hurting.

Deandre [00:12:30]:
So that was it. I I believe in your circle mostly defines you. And the reason my friend group didn't think I should marry, they all got married at, like, 22. They they were constantly like, dude, what are you waiting for? And, So I did I did have people. The odd part about advice is my foster parents continue to ask me to reconcile with her. That was very hurtful. They were sold out in the middle. It was like I was not their son.

Deandre [00:12:58]:
They probably like, he's a jackass, and if he stops running around in the streets, he'll be fine. But, you know, they're they're educated people. Everything I was doing was a teenager screaming for help, All of it. Even when I was living at home, these people were so nice, and they would go out of town, and I would lie to them, and I would sneak girls in the house. And So I just wasn't receiving the messages. I usually had somebody around who's doing it, but it was closed it was just closed was out in there, and I probably didn't know how to take advice at the time. Yeah. I just recently told my wife because she bates further because I do do weird stuff, but I'm okay with that.

Deandre [00:13:35]:
And it it occurred to me that 85% of what I knew how to do in life from tying my shoe to brushing my teeth, I taught myself because with my first family at, like, 11, I ran away from home. And from 11 to 13, I was running away from home, getting locked up in juvy, sleeping in the woods with homeless people. I was on the street, and don't ask me how, but, like, at 12, my brain clicked and said, you need to fit. So I picked up 2 solo bottles when they used to be class, not what walked down the street like this, and I found out that I could go to the hospital. If you see it really quiet, no one will mess with you. So that's what I did when it was cold or the the the bugs were a lot, and I just kinda walked the streets.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:20]:
Wow. Wow. That's a lot. That's a lot

Deandre [00:14:24]:
to be done.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:25]:
So that was, like, at 12.

Deandre [00:14:28]:
Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:29]:
And I'm curious. Like, I I after that, like, the family that you stayed with. What how old were you when you met them?

Deandre [00:14:38]:
I met them when I was 14, in the foster home, my dad was, like, a mentor.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:44]:
Mhmm.

Deandre [00:14:44]:
And, I don't know. Over time, he was just like, I know that you're never, Like, in the cafeteria on visiting day, would you like to come and spend the weekend with us? So they started doing things like that, taking me to Magic Games. And as I sit here now, I cannot tell you why, but, they were just like, would you like to move in with us between my junior and senior year? I missed this when you asked about the turning point. Mhmm. Hitting the foster home, falling in love with basketball, Making a team that forced me to wanna be better in my grades, positive reinforcement. These staff prove what positive reinforcement was Because the odd thing, I always had impeccable manners when locked up. They would just say, like, you know, why are you in here? Again, that's how your environment gets you. And, You know, I was all my life just looking for love.

Deandre [00:15:36]:
So I got the foster people nice. I got the, my foster dad nice. And some of the, guys who worked in a foster home, they were probably 25 at the time. That's the first time I saw a black man Not doing a street job. Like, outside of you know, like, dad's work and stuff, but, like, all of the guys that were a little bit older than me, they didn't work. They was just on the street. A lot of people didn't go to school after 10th grade where I lived.

Dirty Skittles [00:16:04]:
Yeah. So you're learning you were able to observe Outside influence and learn from it.

Deandre [00:16:10]:
Mhmm. And so going with the family was good, then they sent me to bishop Moore. And one of the things they've done a lot, but One of the things I appreciate about that, it was another life. Like like, it was another life going to Bishop Moore, being around fancy people. This was nineteen was it night? Yeah. This was 93, 94. So me being out with a lily white family And my favorite little brother had freckles. People could not figure out, like, what I was doing there.

Deandre [00:16:41]:
Like, it was just so funny getting the looks, and it It took a while to get used to that.

G-Rex [00:16:46]:
Yeah.

Deandre [00:16:46]:
But they they they they just helped out by showing things that I now pass on to my son. I'm very grateful for I'm very grateful for to to the collared shirt. I had never worn a collared shirt before them. You know? And now I say, you know, we got it dressed, so I'm big on that. I'm planning on starting an etiquette club too for kids because I think that's a good thing.

Dirty Skittles [00:17:06]:
Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like you had to Relearn life.

Deandre [00:17:11]:
Yes. I like that. You should put that on a T shirt. I did.

Dirty Skittles [00:17:14]:
Relearn life.

Deandre [00:17:15]:
Yes.

Dirty Skittles [00:17:17]:
But now I mean, I know you now, and you you have a couple of businesses. You're very passionate about, time with children. Do you think that that That passion comes from just your upbringing and your experience.

Deandre [00:17:30]:
100%. I believe that I was put through all of that so that I'd be able to work with every every demographic of kids, and I do feel proud about that. Because In 28 years in working with kids, from the very poor to the super rich, all kids want the same thing. They want love. They want positive reinforcement. They want discipline. Discipline doesn't have to be screaming and yelling and, you know, beating them, kinda stuff. And it's it's fun to be like, This kid needs help.

Deandre [00:18:00]:
Like, can I help him? Because teachers and counselors are sometimes the only people that kids have. Shout out to all my teachers. I had 92% good teachers, miss Hall. I'm sorry you didn't make the list.

Dirty Skittles [00:18:17]:
I mean, kudos to you for remembering your teachers' names. I don't think I can remember any of my teachers. Well, no. It's not true. I do. I I had a teacher for history. His name was mister Sarisi. And the only reason I remember him was because he always had dad jokes before, like, I knew dad jokes or dad jokes.

Dirty Skittles [00:18:35]:
And, I don't know.

Deandre [00:18:36]:
Did you laugh at the dad jokes?

Dirty Skittles [00:18:38]:
I was the only kid in the class just dying of laughter.

Deandre [00:18:41]:
I like that. Yeah. He was Spicy g, did you have a favorite teacher?

G-Rex [00:18:47]:
Like, I can't remember, man. Alright. We'll circle back. I I I'm gonna tell you. My My high school years were a blur.

Dirty Skittles [00:18:53]:
It was

G-Rex [00:18:54]:
really insane. Well, I I yeah. No. It's bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.

G-Rex [00:18:59]:
Bad. Did you

Dirty Skittles [00:19:00]:
get in trouble in high school, or were you, like, a straight a student?

G-Rex [00:19:05]:
I got in trouble in high school. I I was not a straight a student. The thing with me in high school was, I was older than my classmates, So I could buy beer when nobody else could buy beer. I'd probably taught more than half my class how to drive my mom's yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:24]:
How old

G-Rex [00:19:25]:
did you In in Colorado in Colorado, the drinking age was 18. So by the time my senior year rolled around, was the most popular student in the class.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:36]:
You're pushing pushing that alcohol. I'm just kidding.

G-Rex [00:19:40]:
You know what? Shushy. Shush.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:44]:
So to get back to your story, I first of all, I think what you do is great because I have a I have a 5 year old little nugget, and I don't think I have the patience you do with children.

Deandre [00:19:55]:
Thank you. And it's not always like that.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:59]:
Then they Yeah. They can challenge you. But I think what you're doing is awesome because you're providing support and a safe space for kids.

Deandre [00:20:09]:
Thank you. That is that's why I do it. Yeah. You know what I do? So I I feel like it's my way to to pay back, and Even though I had a lot of rough things, like, I'm still here. And so I believe, like, I'm here here for kids. And, Like, my superpower is to be able to go to a group of kids, and, like, in 5 minutes, I can have them all together doing something. They there's a Since, like, they respond to me, and that's the thing I've been most consistently successful with since I've been older, so that keeps me going.

Dirty Skittles [00:20:42]:
Yeah. Part of my question or, I guess, where my thought goes is It sounds to me like you're providing that space because you didn't have it yourself, and you realize how important it is for kids to be so Free and and and being themselves. Have you ever thought of or maybe you do. Do you mentor kids?

Deandre [00:21:05]:
I have done it before. I would like to have a mentor program off of my business. Yeah. And I just plan to ask the, gentleman in my neighborhood, Like, would they spend 30 minutes? Because when I volunteered at my son's school, that's what it was, and that's pretty doable. You just spend 30 minutes with them and, like, hang out with them. Mhmm. And I wanna do a old school versus new school basketball game. I just I like for the youth of today To be valued by the adults because we carry on this thing that, oh, you don't know how to do such and such, and all old people do it.

Deandre [00:21:40]:
I'm biased because I work with kids, but I see kids busting their hump. I see super smart kids who are trying to get bright scholars in, like, 7th grade. So these kids are gonna be fun and going back to me being hurt. Right? Like, when you're a kid and someone's been like, oh, you little Shit. And those things, like, you hear it. You feel it. You take it in. And so you're gonna have to take me back.

Deandre [00:22:03]:
I forgot where I started.

Dirty Skittles [00:22:04]:
You're answering it. So it's like, Yeah. I was curious if providing that safe space was your intention because you didn't have it yourself.

Deandre [00:22:11]:
Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:22:11]:
And mentoring kids because it sounded like you needed You would have done well had you had a mentor, as part of your life. But I think your journey is your journey, and it's what's brought you to being successful now and having businesses. So do you wanna tell the listeners, because I don't know if we mentioned it earlier, what your your passion and your drive is with your business? Like, What is the service you provide?

Deandre [00:22:34]:
Of my current business? The it's like a school bus, but I just have a van, And I drive in the morning, pick up kids, take them to school. I do 3 schools in the morning, and then I have my day off. I cook, clean, run errands. That's my admin time for the business. And then I go back out at 1:30, and I do the same thing. And, it's great to me because it was built up. It was built up, like, from starting very cheap and, like, moving my way up price wise. I found that the parents really appreciated that.

Deandre [00:23:10]:
When people joined my leagues, they really were like, we love the price. And then on top of that, I just I make up my own games. Like, I have a ridiculous amount of games and stuff. When I was younger, Yona, reading was everything. That's one of the ways I got through, but my imagination is off the charts. And even today, I can't turn my brain off. If I see something, boom, idea. Boom, idea.

Deandre [00:23:32]:
You can put a business there.

Dirty Skittles [00:23:34]:
So So you provide, like, pick up, drop off, and then, like, after school kind of

Deandre [00:23:39]:
Yeah. After school, we don't do which some parents like, But I wish I had saved some of them. Some of the text messages from the parents is what you're talking about. They appreciate. There's people who said I had no idea what I was gonna do. There's a lady who was on the waiting list for 3 years, like, so grateful. And I can tell you that I'm not a good financial businessman, but as far as caring about the customers, that's a home run. That shuttle business is so good.

Deandre [00:24:08]:
I haven't advertised in, like, 4 years, and I don't even ever have to call anybody. They just reach out in contact.

G-Rex [00:24:15]:
Yeah. That's awesome. You know? And and I I think that it's great that you're there for those parents because there's a lot of parents that that are stuck. Right?

Deandre [00:24:23]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:24:24]:
That, you know, after the pandemic, they were forced to go back to the office and, you know, didn't have a way to take their kids to school or pick them up. Man, what a what a great service. Like, just listening to you, I I can imagine being on that bus with you and, like, how much would be. Like, I would be excited for you to come pick me up and have you, you know, drive me home and or take me to school. I, Deandra, you're you're a good guy. You have a good heart.

Deandre [00:24:50]:
I'm I'm chugging that way. I will, expand and bring fun on the run adult Bound to Georgia. There we go. Let's do it. And I'll take you guys out for drinking, and no one has to worry about, you know yeah. I'll get

Dirty Skittles [00:25:04]:
one of those small style.

Deandre [00:25:05]:
One of those long black Yukons like the secret service. Like, that's a good night on the town for the ladies.

Dirty Skittles [00:25:11]:
I know. Safe drive

G-Rex [00:25:12]:
home. Do that for the we could do that for the, Friendsgiving.

Dirty Skittles [00:25:17]:
Friendsgiving. We're not going anywhere. We're here, but we're we're We're locking down and

Deandre [00:25:22]:
just having

Dirty Skittles [00:25:22]:
a good time. Yeah.

Deandre [00:25:23]:
Have you guys done Friendsgiving before?

Dirty Skittles [00:25:25]:
No. We're gonna do a a live version of the Podcasts

Deandre [00:25:28]:
of Sweet Friendsgiving. There might be

Dirty Skittles [00:25:30]:
costumes and games and And alcohol. Beverages. Yeah.

Deandre [00:25:35]:
I like it. I like it. Mixing it up on the podcast.

Dirty Skittles [00:25:39]:
Yeah. But I think to go back to your businesses, like, there Bizzle and I, when we moved To Georgia, being away from family, basically. Because in in Florida, that's who we would rely on if we couldn't go and pick up a little nugget from school. We had the grandparents. But In Georgia, if something like that happens, there's so many times where we think like, man, we need DeAndre. We need DeAndre's service because as a parent, It's not only just pick up and drop off, which is great, but, like, having somebody that you trust, that your kid vibes with that they're gonna have a good time after school, like, it's a win win. You know what I mean?

Deandre [00:26:15]:
It is. Thank you. That part right makes it very hard to hire somebody because, like, it's my baby, and some of the people are just like mister Derek's bringing my kid home. I've had College kids and stay at home moms helped me out before.

Dirty Skittles [00:26:28]:
Yeah.

Deandre [00:26:29]:
And, you know, you you get a good personality like you don't, But it's not the same experience. And my wife is not happy about that because it makes me hard to, like, pull away from it. But, if you know parents, once they find someone their kids are safe with, like, they're staying with that person.

Dirty Skittles [00:26:46]:
Yeah. So, What other ventures are you taking on now? Are you thinking

Deandre [00:26:52]:
of yourself? And practicing doing one thing at a time. That's my model for the next month. That that's really what my focus is is to get doing everything 1 at a time so that when I start this next business, like, things will be in order.

Dirty Skittles [00:27:06]:
Yeah. What's next? What's your next business?

Deandre [00:27:08]:
The, the verbal superheroes T shirts.

Dirty Skittles [00:27:11]:
Nice.

Deandre [00:27:12]:
Preorders start in August.

Dirty Skittles [00:27:14]:
What is it? What is verbal heroes?

Deandre [00:27:16]:
It is going to remind kids to talk nice by putting the words on their shirt. And in my best of best worlds, Max is walking, and he has a shirt on that says, give me water, very rudely. And then on the bottom, it says, may I please have something to drink? And that box is going to be checked. And I'm hoping that kids walking around, whoever's behind them in line, is gonna see that shirt, and maybe that nice message will sink in. It might not, but it's good, and then we're donating proceeds to charity also. So I think I think it's gonna go well. And my, I have a friend I'm helping who's gonna do the art. So,

Dirty Skittles [00:27:55]:
yeah, I'm I'm excited. That's cool.

G-Rex [00:27:58]:
Deandre, will will you be able to provide us with with the details, like, where people can order those shirts and things? I'd love to keep that and put that in our show notes.

Deandre [00:28:08]:
Yes. I will. I'll get those sent over to you.

Dirty Skittles [00:28:10]:
Nice.

Deandre [00:28:12]:
I appreciate that.

G-Rex [00:28:13]:
So I I have another question. Like so as you, Like, kind of progressed through life. Did you, eventually, like, seek seek any kind of therapy, or are you just kinda, like, Going through life and trying to, like, figure this out on your own.

Deandre [00:28:28]:
I did try therapy a couple times. I did not do well in it until about 9 months ago. I hit in the last 2 years, I hit a depression. I had never had Depression before, and I was just miserable at my job. And this was one of the best jobs I ever had, and I was just miserable. And so I would write my business and then go teach PE at this school. And on the way, I would have to pull over and curl up in the back of the van because I was those stricken with anxiety to have to talk to anybody. And my like, I was the PE teacher.

Deandre [00:29:06]:
Like, I'm high energy. Like, I was the a Very, very popular teacher. So that's what they're used to seeing. And there was days I didn't know, like, how I could do it, so I started calling in a lot. I started doing less hours. I started doing that job not to the best of my ability, and it was it it was a little disagreement with me not Doing the job because finance is at the house, but I was like, that doesn't matter. Sorry. I got off track.

Deandre [00:29:34]:
When I told my supervisors that I need to leave, like, the job is too much for me, 2 days after that, it felt like a blanket was on my back, and it just lifted off. And this little girl, this sweet little girl, she asked me to walk to pee Every day, I'd hold her hand. Every day. Every time. And she would tell me every story in the world, and I didn't hear her story for a month and a half. I was just so foggy. I was just there existing.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:00]:
Wow.

Deandre [00:30:00]:
So when I when I came out of that, I was like, you gotta get serious about therapy, And I challenged myself to do at least 7 and then go from there.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:11]:
So you said a number. You're like, if I can at least get 7 out,

Deandre [00:30:15]:
Yeah. Better. I'd this this is funny to me. I have not set one goal in my entire life. I've never said that, like, you know, I wanna work in the kitchen, so I'm gonna stay like, never. And so my wife is an angel because I said, I don't know why I thought love and was gonna pay the bills, but, like, I did. So I just kinda floated through life. I think I'm a hippie.

Deandre [00:30:37]:
I like being a hippie because I just I don't get upset a lot. It it makes you, flexible in those kind of things. So

Dirty Skittles [00:30:45]:
But so you set 1 goal, 7 sessions for therapy, and you've accomplished. Yes. Look at that.

Deandre [00:30:50]:
I did. People tell you a bunch of stuff. One of the things that has helped me since I started therapy was if you tell somebody your intention, it makes you more accountable for it. Yeah. So when I was really being, like, my worst version of myself, I was just acting different around people. I was, like, 7 different people, and it was just crazy. And through therapy and self reflection, I had no idea how to, like, fix problems in a relationship. So me going out at night was just like me running away from home when I was 12.

Deandre [00:31:24]:
It's just crazy how how much. And it struggle this, my marriage now struggle because I don't let people in. I I just I just don't. I won't get all the way there. We're we're much better now, but it it definitely hurt at first, but, therapy was I have a good therapist. I have a a good psychiatrist, the one who does the medicine. And I felt Pretty good after about a month and a half of counseling and the medicine.

Dirty Skittles [00:31:55]:
Yeah. I mean, it sounds like you You're you're working through some of the issues that we're causing in

Deandre [00:32:01]:
case you're Yeah. I'm more intentional now. I I've always been working. I'm a great Prior. That's that's my wife. I

Dirty Skittles [00:32:08]:
try. I try.

G-Rex [00:32:09]:
I'm not

Dirty Skittles [00:32:10]:
afraid to try. That's how we word it. Hey. I'm not afraid to try.

Deandre [00:32:13]:
Not afraid to try. I believe that, I tell people sometimes, like, I'm okay with being wrong. I don't have to be right all the time, you know, hence school. I feel like if I say That's blue, and you tell me it's really green. I've learned something in that point. Yeah. You know? So

Dirty Skittles [00:32:27]:
That's how I am. I'm not afraid to make mistakes or Or I'm not afraid to apologize when I've done something wrong.

Deandre [00:32:33]:
Yeah. That's a great skill. That's a great skill.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:36]:
Perfect all the time. Just sometimes. You know? Just kidding.

Deandre [00:32:39]:
How about how fast does that diffuse something, right, when you apologize? It's like

Dirty Skittles [00:32:43]:
It's immediate because I think people and, I mean, I'm guilty of this Too. Like, you'll go into a conversation or a confrontation prepared to battle.

Deandre [00:32:51]:
Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:51]:
But when that other person's like, you know what? I was wrong. I'm sorry. There's no battle. Yes. They record that. Yeah. It's it's done.

Deandre [00:32:58]:
Shout out to romantic comedies. I've watched a 102 of them so I can learn how to deal with women. Oh. That was 1. That's do men listen to the podcast? Is it catered to

G-Rex [00:33:08]:
them? Yeah.

Deandre [00:33:09]:
I like it.

Dirty Skittles [00:33:09]:
Yeah. It it

G-Rex [00:33:10]:
We'll be everybody. Yeah.

Deandre [00:33:11]:
Everybody who listens, If you are single and you want a lady who's nice, watch romantic comedies. Mhmm. Women drive everyone crazy. But in defense to them, all the movies I watch, the women are acting away because the guy's not doing something Not doing something. And we had a friend that say, that, you know, women who stray are the ones who don't have the guy At them. Right. So there is, like I mean, it's probably why I had trouble with women, but I could woo a woman like nobody. Like, usually in, like, Like like, 3 weeks, and it was it was it it was a skill.

Deandre [00:33:52]:
I didn't realize it. Like, I would meet them out. I would be super charismatic. I was attractive. No one else is gonna have my story. Women love a broken puppy. Let me just tell you that. I wonder.

Deandre [00:34:04]:
Like, the the oh, and you live with this this Caucasian family? Oh, you're different. Oh, you might be Carlton. And, You know, they just do it because in Orlando, there are certain places where there's guys like me where I would have been, I believe, Who just never get out of their way, and so they're just not doing a lot. So when a woman would meet somebody like, I was working at a day care. They like that. I worked at schools and those kind of things. If you like cinnamon toast crunch, I would go put it on the front of your car. I wrote notes.

Deandre [00:34:35]:
I can write poetry. And so, somebody figured that I wasn't gonna be doing construction. They know it's gonna be a little to say, let me give this dude the skill to talk because he ain't gonna do nothing else. Nothing else. But it but but it got me in trouble because while I was perfect at that, There was always a point where I was like, I don't like her anymore, and Dana was a dick. Like, a dick. Like, we coulda just pissed off. Or turn

Dirty Skittles [00:35:02]:
it on and turn it off.

Deandre [00:35:03]:
Yes. Got it. And from today's things, that's like

Dirty Skittles [00:35:06]:
a narcissist, trait. That's one of them. Okay.

Deandre [00:35:09]:
That's what I've been told, so I don't like that. But, yeah, I can. I can. I'll just turn it off, and, like, after imagine A guy being so sweet, and then the next day, he's like, don't fucking call me no more.

Dirty Skittles [00:35:24]:
He's Louise.

G-Rex [00:35:25]:
Yeah. Nice.

Deandre [00:35:26]:
A girl Nice. Trying on the phone. I put it on speaker so my boy can hit it. Don't break up with me. Don't break up with me. Like, it's like, what a jerk, and we're laughing and that kind of stuff. Thank you. You know?

Dirty Skittles [00:35:37]:
For

Deandre [00:35:37]:
real. Grow, so I should give a message to the women too. The only thing a guy understands about changing is if you ghost him. Like, you really have to completely not talk to him anymore if you're really done with him. I've been probably told 42 times I'm done with you. It takes 1 call or a text. They get right back into it, and they'll let you guess. So I love myself.

Deandre [00:36:00]:
I wasn't deserving of those women. I had a lot of good women. A lot. I just didn't know how to cherish them then. I didn't know how to value friendships. So So I say to women, it's great to support in that stuff, but if you want a hard life, you'll get with somebody who puts you through the ringer. If you want a great life, Look at Bob in the county. He might wear glasses, but he gonna bring the check home every day.

Deandre [00:36:24]:
He ain't gonna run the streets, and you're gonna be a happy wife.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:28]:
Pick Bob.

Deandre [00:36:29]:
Bob. I know. I'm sorry, Bob.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:32]:
I just Listen. I just watched the Barbie movie, and I saw a shirt that Said in a world full of Kens, be an Allen. And and if anybody's watched the Barbie movie, they know what I'm talking about. Go for the Allens or the Bongs. Allens.

Deandre [00:36:46]:
That's right. They're always, oh, romantic comedies again. Every romantic comedies, the best friend is the guy for you. And guys, don't do that. Don't be friends with a girl who's chasing another guy if you like her. Like, be straight up. That's oh, Break my heart.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:00]:
Did you have any did you use pickup lines?

Deandre [00:37:04]:
Not really. That was probably my joy. I would, When I light somebody, I was very aggressive. I was like a hyena, and I would just walk up and say, hey. How you doing? My name is Derek. Nice to meet you. And then you go into, like, where you from. I say a lot of odd things to girls, like Oh.

Deandre [00:37:20]:
To catch them to catch them off Guard.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:22]:
Like, give a Like I don't know

G-Rex [00:37:24]:
if you

Dirty Skittles [00:37:24]:
have an example.

Deandre [00:37:25]:
Yeah. There was a girl I like walking down the street. She, Tet cigarettes. I didn't smoke, but I was like, yo. Can I get a cigarette? Just start talking to her. Just say anything to her. Come back. Yeah.

Deandre [00:37:39]:
I, Yeah. That was I mean, I don't know how to do it. It was studying and having it natural, but I did realize that most guys say the same thing. So if you say anything to a woman, I used to buy them a drink and tell them I'm not gonna talk to you and stay around you all night. I'll see you later. They would always come find me.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:58]:
So be different. Damn. 2 reps. In your single days, did you have any pickup lines?

G-Rex [00:38:06]:
No. And, like, I don't remember my single days. I mean, I've been married for 28 years, And then I had a relationship before that for 5 years.

Dirty Skittles [00:38:16]:
Mhmm. I I don't remember, man. I'm old.

G-Rex [00:38:21]:
Sixty nine.

Dirty Skittles [00:38:22]:
Like, I don't remember what I

G-Rex [00:38:24]:
ate 2 days ago. You want me to remember 40 years ago? Please.

Dirty Skittles [00:38:28]:
I mean, alright. Fair enough. I thought somebody would have a pickup line.

G-Rex [00:38:31]:
I I do love your story, Deandre, though. Like you said, you had to go through all that shit to get to where you are now. You know? I I'm in the same boat. I had to go through all my shit last year to get where I am now. I mean, I'm, like, the happiest I've ever been. And, you know, I'm I'm thankful for I'm thankful that I had to go that I went through that because I don't think I would have gotten to this point.

Dirty Skittles [00:38:59]:
Yeah. I mean, to some degree, we should be celebrating, right, like, our growth?

G-Rex [00:39:06]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:07]:
And nobody well, at least nobody I know comes out into the world with just, like, a perfect life. There's always Yeah. Something that you have to learn from and work through and get stronger from. So

Deandre [00:39:19]:
Yeah. I think, to piggyback off what you said, One way to be happy. Like, you can know stuff is gonna happen. You can complain all the time, or you can just be like, stuff happens, And you move on or you find that you're just you're just happier. Like, I know when I'm not depressed and I'm driving, everything is beautiful. That guy working construction, Seeing parents seeing their grandparent take a kid to school is one of the sweetest things, like, you will ever see. The tree looks greener to me, And so that's when I know I'm vibing. And then, you know, on some days, I don't even see what I'm driving driving by.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:54]:
Yeah.

Deandre [00:39:54]:
So That that helps me to just I really do try to see the good in everything.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:59]:
Yeah. Is so do you have any techniques you use when you're having a stressful day to see the pretty and everything?

Deandre [00:40:06]:
From therapy, the breathing. I watch comedies And try to get back in the laughing. I, listen to music. I think those are those are the 3 main coping mechanisms.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:20]:
Yeah. I like it. What about you, G Rex?

G-Rex [00:40:25]:
I so when I'm practicing, like, self love and self care Is if I feel like I'm getting myself, a little anxious, I'll get up and walk outside. You know? I I take my shoes off and I ground myself. I, you know, put my feet in the dirt, and I can't do that in the winter because otherwise, you know, I'd get, like, frostbite. But, Like, I'll go and pick up 1 of my cats. Right? I I'm, like, 100% extrovert, And, so I need people or sayings to interact with. And and I'll talk to my wife. Right? Like, she You know, I am completely open with her, and, she can usually help, you know, draw out of me what is bothering me. So

Dirty Skittles [00:41:13]:
Nice. Yeah. I Where

G-Rex [00:41:14]:
do I do?

Dirty Skittles [00:41:15]:
Kind of the same as Deandre. It's either listening to music is probably my go to because It immediately will improve my mood. I don't I've noticed this about myself. I don't like to watch Dramas at all. Like, now I gravitate towards comedy because I when you, like, break out of your normal day, I don't wanna watch something super sad and depressing. Like, I want Something that's gonna make me laugh or feel good or happy or whatever. So I'll watch the comedies, and I'm learning about the breathing now. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:41:48]:
Like, I I can't remember how like, I had something at work really stressful going on, and I was, like, ready to just crawl under a blanket and pretend like The world didn't exist. And I was talking to somebody, and they were like, just breathe, man. Just breathe. Relax. Like, it's gonna be fine. Just take a deep breath. And for whatever reason, that was what I needed to hear in the minute, and I was like, just gotta breathe. Gotta breathe through it.

Dirty Skittles [00:42:13]:
So Yeah. Learning about Practicing that a little bit more.

Deandre [00:42:16]:
Yeah. Because anxiety doesn't send you a text message and say I'm coming. They just show up like a I'm on it, in law, Like, on

Dirty Skittles [00:42:24]:
your porch. And you want nothing more than to

Deandre [00:42:25]:
do it like that. I didn't invite you. Do you have go to's on music that you know is gonna pump you up?

Dirty Skittles [00:42:33]:
Yes. I do. That's right. And I already know is gonna edit this and be like, jeez s. If I have to hear this name one more time, It's Harry Styles.

Deandre [00:42:42]:
Okay.

Dirty Skittles [00:42:42]:
Yeah. Shawn Mendes. Depends on the mood. Sometimes it's a little imagine dragons. Or I go, like if I'm, like, in my feels, I'll go for my chemical romance because I can rage saying

Deandre [00:42:56]:
drag emojis. Rage saying, get it out. So PSA comment, how I just ask you that music thing? That's all it takes. Get a woman talking about herself that that, woman, don't don't fall for it. I'm a probably lose my man card, but I'm here to help. I don't want people to go through what I did. If my son could do anything different for me, he would be the husband I am to my current wife. Like, that is that feels most important to me.

Deandre [00:43:25]:
I have asked him to not get serious with someone in high school Unless he hung out with them for 3 months. You know? I had told them people don't show I was like, you might not. I know dad's a nerd, but I'm telling you, if you do stuff for girls and it gets emotional, It's gonna be trouble. You're gonna get distracted from basketball and grades. And, yeah, High school kids falling in love. It them sometimes. So if I can get them 2 more years, just play basketball and play NBA 2 k. That's

G-Rex [00:43:54]:
it. Yeah.

Deandre [00:43:55]:
The girls will be there. That's what I didn't learn. That's what people try to tell me. Women will be there. Women will be there.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:03]:
There you have it.

Deandre [00:44:06]:
Cool. Californication fans? Anybody?

Dirty Skittles [00:44:08]:
No. But my mother-in-law shout out to my mother-in-law, loves the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We almost make it a drinking game to see how many times is she gonna talk about the red hot chili peppers when we see her. Is that your go to song?

Deandre [00:44:22]:
No. That show. There's a character on there.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:25]:
Oh, the show. I thought you're talking about Red Hot Chili Peppers. It.

Deandre [00:44:28]:
You're saying it.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:29]:
Yeah. I was like, yeah. California, Kayla.

Deandre [00:44:31]:
Awesome. Nowadays. There's a line in there. When you hear something, you're like, that's me. And this guy says, I've never met a woman that I didn't fall in love with for 2 minutes. And I was like, that's fucking me.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:45]:
Interesting.

Deandre [00:44:45]:
And that's what happens to people like me who don't have boundaries. Like like new shiny things. Like, there's so many pretty women, so you just can't talk to every pretty woman. You just gotta be like, you know, Hey. You look good. Have a nice day. Women like that. Just stop them.

Deandre [00:45:02]:
Hey. Your hair looks nice. That was weird, but they're interested.

Dirty Skittles [00:45:06]:
Oh, Get them interested. I feel like that's that's the, end note on this podcast. Get them interested.

G-Rex [00:45:13]:
Get them interested. Just keep them interested.

Dirty Skittles [00:45:20]:
It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking

G-Rex [00:45:29]:
to someone.