Embracing Self-Love and Boundaries: Stepping into Freedom and Living a Fully Expressed Life with Guest - Megs

Megs [00:00:00]:
I've been up for a bit. I've just made my 2nd coffee. So

Dirty Skittles [00:00:04]:
I like your cup, and that coffee looks delicious.

Megs [00:00:08]:
The not big one.

G-Rex [00:00:09]:
Yeah. If if you have coffee right now, you will not go to bed.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:14]:
Me?

Megs [00:00:14]:
K? What? What? It's only 9:30 in the morning.

G-Rex [00:00:17]:
Oh, girl. Girl. It it's 7:30 at night here. She has coffee right here. Guys have coffee. Right.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:23]:
Well, I'm I'm also having an energy drink. So you know?

G-Rex [00:00:26]:
What the hell is wrong with you?

Dirty Skittles [00:00:28]:
I'm exhausted. I was like, I gotta wake up. 5 year old's, man. I wanted to tell you.

G-Rex [00:00:36]:
You're killing me. Killing me.

Megs [00:00:39]:
Teenagers, not But I'm just letting you know.

G-Rex [00:00:41]:
Oh, no. When does the

Dirty Skittles [00:00:44]:
break come? Does it ever come? I mean, I'm just yeah.

G-Rex [00:00:47]:
Yeah. When they when they move out of the house. Oh, I

Dirty Skittles [00:00:50]:
don't want him to leave them. I'm like, you can stay here forever.

Megs [00:00:57]:
My oldest just bought a motorbike.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:59]:
I'm not getting much sleep. Oh, no. Wait. How old's your oldest?

Megs [00:01:03]:
In shows 21 in October. So

G-Rex [00:01:05]:
Oh, wow.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:06]:
Yeah. Motorbikes. Nah. No. I'll buy

G-Rex [00:01:11]:
could get 1 in your backyard. It's big enough. Just get Max like the little baby one, man.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:16]:
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:19]:
My husband wants to get dirt bikes, but I'm like, absolutely not. He's Five. What is he gonna do? That's horrible. I can't even oh, I guess.

Megs [00:01:28]:
I'm like, oh, the danger. Like, be beat bones?

Dirty Skittles [00:01:36]:
I know. I mean no.

G-Rex [00:01:38]:
I don't wanna do that.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:39]:
Yeah. Exactly.

G-Rex [00:01:41]:
It's bad enough he tried to kill you yesterday with the Lego. So, you know

Dirty Skittles [00:01:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. He was making, arrows out of Legos, and he has, like, a toy bow. So he was shooting his LEGO arrows with his bow and arrow, and it was a weapon. It became a weapon, and we had to have a conversation about how you can't make weapons. It's not safe.

Megs [00:02:02]:
You know what else is a weapon when it comes to logos? Standing on it when you're not ready.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:23]:
Welcome back to another episode of shit that goes on in our heads. I'm Dirty Skittles, and I'm joined here with

G-Rex [00:02:32]:
Gee rex?

Dirty Skittles [00:02:33]:
I know. I felt like doing something different that time. But we're also here joined by Or join by join by join with someone's here with us.

G-Rex [00:02:43]:
With.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:44]:
With Megs. Hey, Megs.

Megs [00:02:48]:
Hey. How are you?

Dirty Skittles [00:02:50]:
I'm good. I'm watching G Rex slowly cringe like, let's do it again. No. Let's keep it natural, man. We're just gonna keep it all like

G-Rex [00:02:56]:
Whatever, girl. Whatever. You know?

Dirty Skittles [00:02:59]:
Welcome to the show, Megs.

G-Rex [00:03:02]:
Here's the cool thing with Megs. So Megs is calling. We are interviewing Megs all the way from Australia, so I am so excited about this episode.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:13]:
Yeah. Thanks for joining us.

G-Rex [00:03:16]:
Yeah.

Megs [00:03:16]:
I can hear from your future.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:18]:
I know. I know. I know. Tell everybody

Megs [00:03:20]:
what said we couldn't time travel.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:22]:
I know. Proving them wrong. What time is it where you're located?

Megs [00:03:28]:
It's 9:30 AM or 9:34 now.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:31]:
2 days just getting started, or what time do you normally start?

Megs [00:03:35]:
2nd coffee right here. Nice. I've been up since 5:30 today because I was also chatting with someone else at at 6 AM this morning. So Man.

G-Rex [00:03:45]:
Yeah. I'm primed and ready, girl.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:47]:
Okay. Nice. I love that. I love that. So, Megs, tell us a little bit about what you do.

Megs [00:03:54]:
That's a different question than I got asked this morning. This morning, she said, who are you?

G-Rex [00:03:58]:
I was

Megs [00:03:58]:
like, oh, how long have you got? Oh, dear. So I do a lot of things. I wear a lot of hats. My most important hat is that I am a mom of Well, I am in the I have the blessing of caring for 7 children. 3 of them, I birthed myself, and 4 of them, I'm honored to guide into adulthood with their father.

G-Rex [00:04:25]:
Love that.

Megs [00:04:26]:
The love of my life. So I'm a mother first and foremost. That is my most important job. And I also am a podcaster like you guys, which I love because I love to talk. So I'm really excited to be here chatting with you guys. And I'm also a life alignment coach. That Could mean many, many things. One thing I am not is a life coach because as one of my best friends says, no one's qualified to teach life Or coach coach that.

Megs [00:04:55]:
We're all figuring it out as we go. But by me saying life alignment coach, what that means is that I help people Uncover what's most true and real about themselves or rediscover, more importantly, and Live in alignment with that. So create their life as I believe we are the creators of our existence. We are Product of our choices, but to make choices that are in alignment with who we really are instead of who we think we should be, who we've been pretending to be, or who other people have told us We should be. Yeah. In a nutshell. That's what I pay.

G-Rex [00:05:35]:
I love this. I am. Love, love, love. Right. Love all of it.

Dirty Skittles [00:05:40]:
So question. Meg's, I don't know, 15 years ago, Would she have thought that you would be doing what you're doing today?

Megs [00:05:51]:
Hell no. 15 years ago. You know, it's actually hard to remember where I was 15 years ago. I started coaching 8 years ago. So if I think back about that long again, man, I was a busy mum with small children at that point. I did have I've always had a little side hustle going on. I'm not someone who sits still at all. Yeah.

Megs [00:06:18]:
I mean, I'll sit still while we're chatting here, but, Yeah. I'm not someone who does nothing. So even though I was a busy mom, I always had a little something going on on the side for myself to keep myself sane. Mhmm. And I love to grow and learn and try new things. So I think if I go back 15 years, I probably would have been a Tupperware lady, believe it

G-Rex [00:06:41]:
or not.

Dirty Skittles [00:06:42]:
Nice. Okay. That was Yeah.

Megs [00:06:44]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I

Dirty Skittles [00:06:45]:
mean, like

Megs [00:06:45]:
see that I mean, did you?

Dirty Skittles [00:06:47]:
Well, it actually reminded me we just had somebody on our podcast, and that was her 1st job was selling Tupperware. So I was just thinking to myself, man, Twice twice a season, and we heard about Tupperware, which is, you know, it's cool.

Megs [00:07:04]:
It was my 1st set of business, so my 1st entry into sort of, like, working for myself and earning my own time and

Dirty Skittles [00:07:10]:
everything. Alright. So how did you Move from that into what you do today. What was your journey like?

Megs [00:07:20]:
Such a journey. So, I mean, I feel like my coaching journey actually began when I was a hairdresser. I told you I wore many hats. I was not lying. So the first one I wore was a hairdresser. And I feel like when I well, I mean, I was just in that space for probably the same amount of time, but I remember like people coming in

Dirty Skittles [00:07:39]:
and

Megs [00:07:41]:
just they would pour. I mean, you've been to the hedge. I know you've been to the hairdresser recently to G Rex. I just called you

G-Rex [00:07:49]:
G Rex.

Dirty Skittles [00:07:49]:
Did you slip up?

Megs [00:07:51]:
G Rex. Looking good, by the way. So, you know, when you go to the hairdresser, we pour our heart out.

G-Rex [00:07:59]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:07:59]:
Right? We we usually like, they go, how's life? And you go, what? You've got me you've stuck Well, this color's on. You've got me the whole time. I'm gonna tell you

Dirty Skittles [00:08:07]:
how I want.

Megs [00:08:08]:
And they do. And so what I end up feeling like after, You know, being in that role for a while was that I'm kind of a counselor, and I think any hairdresser that you speak to will tell you that we kind of end up, you know, soothing our clients more than just making them beautiful. And so that's where I really feel like my fascination with human behavior came from. And what I mean by that is we no one really has a clue who they are. I mean, we just Well, we're figuring it out as we go, which is the beauty of being in a human being. Right? Figuring it out as we go. And Most of the time, we figure it out when we when we screw up or when things aren't going well, which is generally what they're sharing. And so what I found fascinating is that people would come back And they would still have the same issues, like, 6 or 8 weeks later that they had 6 or 8 weeks before.

Megs [00:09:03]:
I'm like, why are we doing nothing about this. And so I tell you that part of my story because it's like, a lot of the things that I've done After that, like, I had my own salon for a while with my own clients, so that was, yeah, that was even more so intense Because they were my my clients coming to me over and over again. And then I went into into, Tupperware, like I said, and I was working closely with women who were very much like me, like, wanting to get out of the house, wanting to have something of their own. And so I end up becoming a manager there and working closely with people in their development just to make sure that they were successful because that was, like, that's what gave me purpose and why I loved it. Moving from there, as my kids got older, Sold a number of things. Mhmm. That was just one of them. But when I got into, this space, into the coaching space, I really started to go deeper with people on that.

Megs [00:10:03]:
And the reason that I love it is because everyone has a story. Everyone has something about them that's unique. Even if they've been through something similar to somebody else, the way they look at it, the way they approach it is their own. And they and like I said, no one sees their own wisdom. No one sees their own brilliance. But what I had to do was actually go on that journey first. So I did that work myself. I got really passionate about it, and then I was fortunate Enough to be in a position to step into a coaching role with the organization I was working with at the time.

Megs [00:10:42]:
And it's been, yeah, I mean, we can talk about journey more if you want, but that's kinda where how I ended up where I am now. It's just a progression of, you know Yeah. This fascination with with humans.

Dirty Skittles [00:10:54]:
Yeah.

Megs [00:10:54]:
They're all amazing. We just don't know it.

Dirty Skittles [00:10:56]:
Yeah. I mean, it sounds surprisingly natural from Tupperware to hairdresser. As soon as you said hairdresser, I was gonna ask, Oh, is it true what they say? Like, everybody tells their hairdresser all of what's happening in their life. So, I can only imagine being like, why didn't you listen to me? We talked about this. Like, 3 months ago.

Megs [00:11:14]:
About it. I gave you such great advice

Dirty Skittles [00:11:18]:
from all my,

Megs [00:11:19]:
like, 25 years of life. Right. Come on.

G-Rex [00:11:23]:
So, I

Dirty Skittles [00:11:23]:
mean, I guess that that leads into, like, just a random question. You don't have to answer it. But Do you ever find yourself in that position now where you're like, I we had this conversation. Like, I gave you this advice, and it's still a repeat issue for someone. And if so, is that Frustrating? Like or is that still, like, rewarding? Because, essentially, your work's not

Megs [00:11:45]:
done. I mean, I, Uh-uh. Look. I mean, it's probably you know where that happens a lot with my children?

G-Rex [00:11:58]:
Come

Dirty Skittles [00:11:58]:
on. Like, they're

Megs [00:11:59]:
the ones that don't think I'm wise. Like, you know, there's other people that I've met that Tell me I am, but not them. But, no, in all seriousness, like, one of the things that I think is really important is that when like, it's one thing to uncover your sense of self and go on that. You know, we all have little identity crisis throughout our life. I had a massive one. You you could ask me about that if you want. But, like, When we have those times of like, okay. I need to do something about this, and we go into that in doing the work and transforming and changing what's going on.

Megs [00:12:37]:
If you don't learn how to do that for yourself, you're gonna find yourself back there. And so I think it's really important, in my role as, as a facilitator, which I'd rather call myself than a coach, but coach makes more sense when people come across me, You know, without me explaining it. But when I facilitate that process for people, it's really important for them to then understand how they can do that. It's Do that for themselves and how they can realign when they need to. Because life, let's face it, it's gonna keep throwing shit at you. Right? It's there's gonna be chaos. There's gonna be stuff that happens. And we're gonna have another, you know, time where we feel like we need to level up or we need to re you know, rediscover parts of ourselves or realign, And we need to know how to do that.

Megs [00:13:22]:
So it's that whole, like, give a man a fish, teach a man a fish. Yeah. Like, we need people need to learn how to how to keep doing the work. I'm happy for them to come back to me, of course, and have that conversation again, but I really feel like that's a really important part of of, why I do what I do. And Yeah. Yeah. I think it's that's a really long answer to that question.

Dirty Skittles [00:13:44]:
No. I love that. I I I think immediately, as you're telling your story, I'm finding stuff in my past that I can use to relate to what you're saying. And I think that is something that,

G-Rex [00:13:56]:
To a

Dirty Skittles [00:13:57]:
degree, I don't know that I'll ever stop learning how to focus and align on what I want out of my life. So, With that being said, to get to where you were today, you mentioned that you had to do work on yourself. What was, I guess, the trigger point for you that made you jump into that. And if you're comfortable sharing, obviously.

Megs [00:14:19]:
Yeah. I'm just trying to think of where I start. So I think, you know, one of the things that we all maybe are unaware of, It's the right way to put it is that we make up stories about ourself our whole life. Right. So we go through things as a kid, and, obviously, we we get parented the way we get parented. Let's Sleep out there. Fuck that one. And then we make stories up about who we are Mhmm.

Megs [00:14:51]:
Based on, well, You know, those things. And so then what we do is we look for evidence that story is true, so we don't think we're crazy. Right. So then we have this so we have this story. We have an origin where that story was created. We're not aware of any of this, which I said first. And then we go, okay. This story is true.

Megs [00:15:11]:
I need to find evidence to make sure I'm not crazy. So then we gather evidence our whole life.

G-Rex [00:15:17]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:15:17]:
My story, which I'll share with you about me, was that I was not good enough. And I know that's not Uncommon. A lot of people think that, and everyone's variation of not good enough is different. But mine was like I just never felt like I was good enough. And the way that I showed up then, even as a young child, was to just be perfect. Try and be as good as possible so that I didn't to anybody so that no one was upset with me. And there was plenty of evidence as I as you research for it, we're like, You know? We go looking for the evidence to make that real, and I lived into that for so long. I was, like, the ultimate people pleaser.

Megs [00:15:59]:
I was somebody who would put myself last in every scenario just to make sure that everybody else was happy and fulfilled and getting what they want. And more importantly, liked me. So That got really freaking exhausting as I got older.

Dirty Skittles [00:16:20]:
I can imagine.

Megs [00:16:21]:
And as it really didn't hit me that that and And I showed up like that as a mother, which my my kids will probably have therapy over that later, but that's fine. Like, I, Our

Dirty Skittles [00:16:32]:
own crust to

Megs [00:16:32]:
be Right. Like, I I just showed up that way everywhere. And it wasn't until the kids got older, And they didn't need me in the same way they did when when they were little. Like, they didn't need me to make sure that they, you know, They survived. They just needed me to feed them, which I still do. But, like, they didn't need me in the same capacity, so that opened up Kind of like a a more space Mhmm. For me to to see to see me. And it was around the time that I was 40

Dirty Skittles [00:17:04]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:17:04]:
Where I had my, like, what I call a holy shit moment. I was like, how the hell am I 40? I don't feel 40. But, like, I I just felt like I should be way happier, way healthier, way more in love. There's so many things, And I realized that all of that is on me because I never ever ever did any of those thing. I never focused on anything for me. So everyone else in my life is happy except me. And so that was when I realized I had to I I had to do something about that Because I suddenly had all this time to think about it. I suddenly had more time to reflect on it, She's in the thinking, but then, you know, I wasn't happy with the relationship my the state of my relationships.

Megs [00:17:54]:
More importantly, just how I was showing up. And so that was where I really started to kind of step into eating my own cooking, as I like to say. Because I was already in the coaching space at that point. Not as as heavy like, not as as deep as I am now, but I was in the side of it. Yeah. And I just was like, I'm gonna do this work myself because I'm not the kind of person that's gonna tell someone else to do and b something if I'm not doing that first.

Dirty Skittles [00:18:26]:
Yeah. You showed up for yourself. That's huge.

Megs [00:18:29]:
Yeah. He chose me after all that time.

G-Rex [00:18:32]:
And I totally love that. So your story sort of aligns with my story. Right? So I went through this horrible depression in around Christmas time. Right? And I I found the one thing that truly made me happy, and that was laughing and talking to people. Mhmm. And, you know, if you go back Even 10 months ago, this podcast was not even on our wheelhouse. Not even not even a thought of it. So I I feel like I I had to go through all that shit that I went through to get where I am now.

G-Rex [00:19:09]:
I am much happier now. I I think I'm the happiest I've been in probably 20 years. And people that see me and talk to me and, you know, even listen to the podcast, They they feel it, and it's very humbling to me because a lot like you, like, it took me until Probably the last 5 months to see myself the way that everybody else sees me. And, I'm completely humbled by all of this. I I can't even read our reviews anymore because it makes me cry. Because I don't It it takes a lot for me to understand kind of what what we've all gone through, right, and the process to to get all this out and, you know, to to talk to really interesting people and kinda figure out how they dealt with all the shit in their life And, you know, coming out on the other end of of everything, I I'm extremely fortunate. And, you know, I I do the homework. I do the homework every day.

G-Rex [00:20:07]:
You know, I I the one thing that I forgot to do for myself is practice self love and self care. And I I think that is Very, very, very important. Like, everybody should do it every day. Dirty stittles. I'm sorry. Did I point you out? Oh, I did. I did.

Dirty Skittles [00:20:25]:
You always point me out. Yeah. I was thinking of you, T Rex, as Megs was sharing. I was like, oh, that sounds familiar.

Megs [00:20:35]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:20:36]:
The, but the the showing up for yourself, I think, is huge, and it's something that I commend you for it. Like, I think that that I mean, being a mom myself, like, it's It's I resignate with that. Like, you're constantly showing up for other people. And then to have like, I get little pockets of time now, and he's only 5. But I'm like, oh, I feel like I'm always rediscovering my interests, what makes me happy, and showing up for myself in those little ways. But I am curious in your journey because I I would imagine that had to have been hard and maybe harder at certain times than others. Was there ever a regression, or did you have I guess, the end goal, was that enough to keep you going And showing up for yourself. Hey, G Rex.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:32]:
Hey, Dirty Skittles. What you got cooking?

G-Rex [00:21:35]:
I got a shredded chicken meal from Factor delivered to my door, and it was so darn tasty. I picked the meals that I wanted for the week. It came to my door in an insulated box and weighted box and had everything I needed to make a delicious meal.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:48]:
Yeah. I like that factor cares about my diet. Like, I am discovering just how lactose intolerant I am, And I know that Factor actually has options that fit my needs and makes my belly feel happy. And it actually tastes good, so even Nugget likes it.

G-Rex [00:22:02]:
My wife also has dietary restrictions, and Factor makes it easy to find options that we both really enjoy. In addition to being good for our diets, They're also GMO free and have keto vegetarian high protein options.

Dirty Skittles [00:22:16]:
Yeah. There's something really wonderful about knowing that, like, while I'm Trying to take care of what I put into my body, that factor is actually taking care of the ingredients that go into those meals. Factor is convenient, healthy, and it supports my busy lifestyle. Give it a try. You won't be disappointed.

G-Rex [00:22:34]:
Head to Factor meals.com/ Heads crazy 50, and use code heads crazy 50 to get 50% off. That's code heads crazy 50@factormeals.com/headscrazy50 To get 50% off.

Megs [00:23:03]:
Definitely, there's there's sometimes, like, 1 step forward, 2 steps back. You know? Because When you just make that decision Mhmm. And you have the courage to step into that journey, That's when the universe, whatever you wanna call it, I call it universe, tests you. It's like, alright then. Next, do You think you're gonna be able to do this? Let's just throw this at you and see how you go with it. You know? One of those things was actually my 28 year relationship ending. Not everyone's gonna like you showing up differently. And not everyone is going to here's what happens.

Megs [00:23:49]:
Here's what happens. So you decide That you're gonna be bigger, that you're going to express yourself, that you're going to try on this new you know? We'll we'll rather take the coat off probably is where we brought more better analogy. I love analogies. Not gonna be sorry for that. And It makes everyone around well, it does 2 things. It it either gives everyone permission to do the same Or it makes the people that aren't ready to do that uncomfortable. And so in that discomfort, they are gonna try and pull you down. They're gonna try and keep you as the version that they know.

Megs [00:24:28]:
And in my case, because I was somebody who was an overfunctioner. That made everybody else's life easy. So all of a sudden, when you stop doing that, That makes everyone else's life hard.

Dirty Skittles [00:24:44]:
They get grouchy.

Megs [00:24:46]:
Right. And so then you've gotta like navigate that And decide, like, it's so easy to step back, which I did so many times, step back from it because I didn't like, I was stepping back into that old habit of like, oh, I don't like upsetting this person. I don't like that. They're unhappy with me. I don't like this, but, then you just have to keep choosing you. Mhmm. You know, it's like you've got to keep doing it over and over again every single day. You got to choose yourself.

Megs [00:25:16]:
And, You know, I think the same thing about this is, like, totally off topic. I hope this is okay. But, like, I think the same thing about love. Love is a verb. It's something that you choose to do. And so you actually, it's not really off topic now that I'm going through it. But, like, you choose to love somebody, but But everything they are and everything they're not, and you choose to do that over and over again every day. And so love to me is a verb, And it's something that we continue to do, and it's the same thing with loving yourself.

Megs [00:25:46]:
So you've gotta choose yourself. So, yeah, you're gonna regress because people are gonna push back, and there's gonna be friction, and there's gonna be tension and, You know, heartache. But you've got to choose you. Like, you only get one go in this body, in this set of circumstances. Mhmm. You know? And so you're gonna make the most of it. And at some point, you have to decide that that's what you're gonna do, and not everyone's gonna like it. And there was some really hard goodbyes for me in my, in my, you know, my journey.

Megs [00:26:22]:
But I, you know, On the other side of that is everything I've ever wanted. And you know what's really interesting too is the the momentum The momentum that comes from choosing you and the more you do it, the more You end up like, it's the speed. Like, I'm only 45. I'm happy to say all day. But, like, it's been 5 years, right, since I've just shared what I shared. Like in my life is a 180. It's done a 180 compared to what it was like then.

G-Rex [00:26:54]:
Wow.

Megs [00:26:54]:
It's ridiculous. And most of that's happened in the last 12 months, if I'm honest. So it's like it's it snowballs and it speeds up and the momentum is exciting. I'm excited for you, G Rex. Sorry, you mean that like that long because like in another 12 months, what you're going to be, if you keep choosing you, it's so freaking exciting. And you know what? You have to it's not easy to do that. And that's why I think the work that I'm doing is so important because and why I feel showing like, continuously showing up for people With like what we're doing now, but also on my podcast, it's like, keep choosing you and I need to, we need to be reminded. Yeah.

Megs [00:27:31]:
Because it's so easy to just slip back into how you were before because it's easier. Yeah. But it's actually not easy in the long run. It's exhausting. I can tell you.

G-Rex [00:27:41]:
It it's extremely exhausting. Yeah. And but like you said, with the momentum, like, You know, January rolled around. Still kind of a hard month. February rolls around. We launched a podcast. And then It's been like this crazy, like, fun carnival ride. Right? Like, it it's been amazing and just It's opened my eyes to so many different possibilities, both for dirty skills.

G-Rex [00:28:08]:
My I we'd love doing this. I love talking to people. I learn something new every single conversation. And I'm redo I'm rediscovering, like, who I who I should be and why I'm this way. And I'm seeing it now that I you know, I've gone back to work, and I'm much happier. I'm so much happier. Dirty schools will tell you. The the from, like, December to January was really, really rough for me.

Dirty Skittles [00:28:41]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:28:41]:
But I I'm in such a better place, and I love listening to you, Megs, because you everything you said is everything that I felt, and I'm doing for myself. And right now, I choose me. I choose my happiness. I choose what my destiny is gonna be. And at 60, I wish that I had learned these lessons in my forties. So That gives you a chance to drink Skittles. You can learn all these all the dumb life lessons I already learned. We're gonna teach them to you.

G-Rex [00:29:15]:
Right? Because I don't want you to, like, wake up at 59 and a half and be like, what the fuck is happening?

Dirty Skittles [00:29:23]:
I mean, to go back to you, G Rex, I remember that really rough time and conversations we had around then. And I remember When you made the decision to start therapy and start choosing you, right, essentially, I remember telling you, I'm so Excited for you. Like, I can't wait for you to feel, like, a sense of relief because you were at a low low. And I was like, oh, she's choosing herself. She's taking the steps to to get higher than this and feel better than this. And I just remember telling you, I'm really, really, really excited for you because it's gonna be it was exactly what you needed to do in that moment, and you did it. And yeah.

G-Rex [00:30:03]:
You know? And I I can't wait for, like, the next 6 months. Right? Like, There's just so much happening, so much good happening in my life, and I really, really, really try hard not to regress. Right? Like, one of the problems that I have, Meg, is I get into my own damn head. Right? And, like, I have to remember to center myself and Remember that I'm a good person that I do know a lot. So I like, that's one of the things I still kinda struggle with. I actually had therapy yesterday just to get out of my head Because, tomorrow at work, I have my 1st customer call, and I'm also gonna share my mental health journey with the company, because it's really important for people to realize that it can happen to anybody. Like, nobody nobody thought it would ever happen to me. I didn't think it would happen to me.

G-Rex [00:30:57]:
And when it did, it was terrifying. And so I don't want anybody to ever feel the same way that I did. But I will tell you, I did get a comment from somebody that listens to our podcast, And they said that we actually saved their life because they are going to therapy now

Dirty Skittles [00:31:15]:
Woah.

G-Rex [00:31:16]:
And dealing with their own struggles And their own insecurity. So, like I said, very humbling. You know? We are not professionals by any Stretching the imagination. But, you know, that, to me, resonated a lot with me because, like I said, I don't Ever wanna go back to where I was, I wanna keep moving forward.

Megs [00:31:40]:
Yeah. That's huge. Mouthful.

Dirty Skittles [00:31:43]:
Yeah. Wow. How do you even, like, segue off of that?

Megs [00:31:48]:
That's huge. I

G-Rex [00:31:51]:
So I I I do have 1 for Megs. Yeah. So we took your little quiz. Right?

Megs [00:31:55]:
Oh, yeah.

G-Rex [00:31:56]:
Did you have on your webcast on your web page? And I'm, like, I'm the bitchy one.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:02]:
I think that was Debbie Downer. Was there a Debbie Downer?

Megs [00:32:04]:
Hang on now. Yeah. Hold up. Let me reframe that for you. You're not her.

G-Rex [00:32:12]:
She's a part

Dirty Skittles [00:32:13]:
of the go. That's what it was. Wait. So you brought that up, but now I feel like we have to have Megs talk about the quiz.

Megs [00:32:22]:
Yeah. Did you say you got Debbie Downer?

Dirty Skittles [00:32:25]:
Yeah. Yeah. I I believe I did. I was like, oh. Look at the that was my exact reaction. I was like, oh, I didn't think I was Debbie Downer.

Megs [00:32:37]:
Oh, I'm so glad that you brought that up and that you've told me that you felt like that because I'll have to revisit maybe how I'm I'm marketing it because the whole thing is that I want you to understand that she's not you. She's not the real you anyway. She's a part of you, but she's not the real you. She's not the you that you want, you know, showing up and and and being the front face. Right? So the quiz, it's called the freed from BS quiz. So I renamed it recently because I felt like that's totally what it is. It's like freeing you up from the bullshit in your head. And what I found really powerful is in part of my journey was actually giving That inner mean girl a name.

Megs [00:33:22]:
So when when I did the work around that because that's one of the things that stops us from moving forward at all, if we're honest, Which is why I've got it as, like, the 1st kind of touchpoint with my audience. It's like, go and take this quiz. It's a bit of fun, blah blah blah. But you actually don't realize that that Voice is the one that's stopping you from booking a call with me or from going to therapy or Having that hard conversation or leaving that job or whatever, it's that voice in the back. It's like, you're not good enough to do that. That's my story. But, you know, there's a number of stories that tend to come up. And while I when I said, my story was I'm not good enough, I know that there would have been a lot of people listening nodding because it's not like That's unique to me, but my version of it is unique.

G-Rex [00:34:07]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:34:08]:
So first thing we gotta uncover is the story, and then we go, okay. Well, what's unique about this? Right? And then how do we? But for a bit of fun, you can take the quiz. You can uncover what the story is. There's 5 sort of main ones, but then there's, like, a 100 variables speech that you may uncover. And then from there, we go, okay. Who is it feeding you this bullshit? Because it's not really who you are. You're everyone is unique and amazing, and we need to uncover that potential so that you can live into it. But there's also this other side of us that is there kind of, you know, screaming at us when we wanna put ourselves out there and do something new.

Megs [00:34:49]:
And so what I know is that we're never gonna get rid of it. It's always gonna be there. And so when we reframe why it's there, and why it's there is to keep you safe. That voice is there to stop you from making a fool of yourself to, you know, keep you safe. It's a part of our brain that's there for a reason. But, unfortunately, what I've found is that it gets really loud sometimes, especially when we're not feeling great about ourselves. And we tend to it it's so loud that it's deafening, and therefore, it paralyzes you from taking action. And so that's where I find a lot of people get stuck.

Megs [00:35:28]:
So what I wanna do is bring awareness to that and be like, okay. Let's just acknowledge that it's there. Mhmm. Let's kind of, you know, Park it over there. Give it a name so they're

G-Rex [00:35:38]:
sitting in

Dirty Skittles [00:35:38]:
the corner.

Megs [00:35:39]:
Yeah. It's like, put her in the back seat. Quiet down in cheap sheets. You know? Cheap sheets. Put it in the back seat. Take it out of the driver's seat, and then put yourself in the driver's seat Because that bitch has been driving for too long. Right? And once we I didn't say that, I mean, yes. But once we once we name it, it's not that you disassociate from it.

Megs [00:36:06]:
It's still a part of you, but with now has a different purpose. And so we can learn how to turn that volume down on that so that we can courageously step forward. And so I'm glad you brought it up because, Yeah. I'm sure when you first see it, you're like, but that's not the point. The point is okay. Now I know What what it's saying, why it's saying that. And when you name something or you language something, and it's the same with what I do with With, my clients is, like, we we give language to the things that are meaningful, and then they become tangible. So when something has language, it becomes real.

Megs [00:36:44]:
It's like when people are manifesting something and they or they have a vision board and they've you know? Now all of a sudden, it's out of your head and you can see it, and it's tangible, and you can move towards it. Well, in this case, we're gonna move away from it, but it still becomes tangible. And you can be more intentional with that information. Yeah. That makes sense.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:02]:
It does. Like, I I as you were saying that, I'm like, okay. As soon as I gave her a name, she wasn't yelling so loud. Right? Like, I knew you're there. I acknowledge you, But now we can, you know, put you in the back. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:37:17]:
The heavy downer needs to go sit in the corner, k, for, like, a really long time. Like, forever.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:24]:
I know. Right? But I agree. Like, I think That part of my brain exists because it does keep me from doing crazy shit. You know? I need to have That that bit there. But, yeah, she needs to not yell so loud. So now that I know what her name is, she can go figure and chill out. I mean, sort of just kinda going back to something you said earlier. And, G Rex, I'm sure you and I will agree, like, every time we fill or we record a podcast.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:54]:
I learned something. And in this one, you've definitely given me a different perspective, which as I think about it now, and as I've been thinking about it since, like, that that idea sparked, seems silly to me because I'm like, how didn't I think about this before? But the perspective of the way I love somebody unconditionally, I can love myself that same way. And I think that that's huge. Like, I'm like, Like, why didn't I think about that before? Like, why wasn't that a part of just my everyday choosing me? So I just wanna say thank you for that. Like, I've learned a different perspective that I'm gonna take away from this one. I love that. Yeah.

Megs [00:38:32]:
And you know that just to add to that too, maybe you really wanna go deep on that. So, like, when you have a child

Dirty Skittles [00:38:39]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:38:40]:
In my case, when I had my daughter, She's 15 now, and I think I know how mean I was to myself when I was 15. Like, I was depressed back then. Like, I and definitely, I was being heavily bullied at school. I If my bully had social media, let's just say I wouldn't be sitting here with you because it at least I got to go home and get away from it. Tell you that part of my story because I, in turn

G-Rex [00:39:10]:
Mhmm.

Megs [00:39:10]:
The evidence I gathered at that point in my life, for what we're talking about was was Heavy. And so I was so mean to myself at that stage. And I look at my daughter now. I have actually, I have my daughter who's 15, and then I have, 16, 17, and 19 year old girls in eye care. When I look at them, I think, oh my god. Could you imagine if What I was saying to myself, I was saying to those girls.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:37]:
Yeah. I

Megs [00:39:38]:
don't be put away for some of the things I said to myself if I said that stuff out loud to somebody else, in particular, my daughters. So I'm like, no. Yeah. We need to like, it's a really good perspective to have, And it just makes you realize, like, how much that can affect us. Imagine how it would affect them Yeah. If they if I said that stuff to them and meant it. Yeah. So we say that stuff to ourselves, like, subconsciously.

Megs [00:40:02]:
We need to bring awareness to that. Yeah. I think it's, like, very in line with the title of your podcast, But, like, that is that's shit's gotta stop.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:09]:
Like Yeah.

Megs [00:40:10]:
It's not gonna go anywhere, but we can reframe it, and we can use it to our advantage,

Dirty Skittles [00:40:15]:
Yeah.

Megs [00:40:16]:
Oh, we need to.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:17]:
And also, it's like, I to add to that, I know how good I love others that I'm like, yo. Why am I holding out on myself? Like, I would benefit from it. You know? So I think I mean, huge.

G-Rex [00:40:30]:
Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:31]:
Huge.

G-Rex [00:40:32]:
And and and same for me.

Megs [00:40:34]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:40:35]:
Same for me. Like, I you know, being a true empath, You know, I feel everybody's feelings. But, you know, now I have boundaries. Mhmm. And Mhmm. I choose me Because my that's that's my key to happiness is I choose me. And then If so I have a little box. It's called a boundaries box.

G-Rex [00:40:58]:
So if it smells like drama, it doesn't get to come in anymore.

Megs [00:41:02]:
I love that.

Dirty Skittles [00:41:04]:
Yeah. How do you, Megs, how do you set boundaries? Like, I'm I ask because I'm curious if you're affected by some of the work that you do, Hearing other people's stories, do you have a way to stay aligned with yourself?

Megs [00:41:19]:
I feel like that's a 2 pronged answer. But No. Do you know the other thing you just said there, and it it kinda goes in line with what you're saying is There's no way I would be able to do the work I do if I didn't know myself and, like I said, eat my own cooking Because it would affect me. Because we take on other people's drama and and BS when we don't We don't have boundaries because we don't know who we are. And so it's it's like we where would we even start? Is there's nothing to align with. There's nothing to Like, it's not real. It's all in our subconscious. So we need to bring that stuff into our awareness, and then we need to have, like, healthy boundaries around what's okay and what's not okay.

Megs [00:42:02]:
So we need to know all the things we will accept and all the things we won't accept, and then we can figure out where that boundary goes. But One thing that I just wanna say about what you said there, is that as much as I started choosing me, I needed to do that, and I do do that in a way that still allows me to be who I am because here's the really here's the crux of it. Right? Or the paradox of what we've been talking about. Even though I grew up being somebody who pleases others, I actually also Know that that makes me the person that I am. Mhmm. So I am somebody who loves other people. Like, I'm I'm a hugger. I'm, like, the most affectionate if we were me in person, you would've got a hug by now.

Megs [00:42:46]:
Like, I'm a hugger. I am affectionate. I'm somebody who likes to acknowledge other people. I know what my these are values of mine. So I am somebody who includes other people. I know where that why I'm that way, and that did come from something that was not actually, necessarily positive. But because I went through that and because I chose to be that way and then continued to be that way, it also made me who I am. So we need to really start to look and go, okay.

Megs [00:43:18]:
These are things that like, we're saying this isn't a good thing to think. Well, I'm a people pleaser. I'm a mister. I'm not. Yeah. But what's the the beauty in that? There's still beauty in that. So we need when we talk about boundaries, it's like, well, we don't take that too far, but we can still be that way. I still love looking after my family.

Megs [00:43:36]:
I love looking after my partner. You know? But we need to have a boundary around where that then becomes self abandonment. Comes self abandonment. Because otherwise, if you put yourself completely in the back and you do not look after yourself, Then it's too much, and then we end up back where we started in this conversation. So I think when it comes to boundaries, it's like recognizing that some of the things that you're gonna uncover, like, that we wanna let go of. We wanna rescue the value from it, though. Mhmm. So it's like we go and unpack it.

Megs [00:44:09]:
We rescue the value from those things, and then we let the shit go. And we leave that stuff back there. And then we carry those beautiful things with us, And we can be intentional about it. And then when we can be intentional about it, then we can set a boundary that's healthy.

G-Rex [00:44:25]:
I love that. I know. Love, love, love, love, love this. Oh my god. Like, I've learned so many things tonight. I should have my paper with me tonight.

Megs [00:44:33]:
Lucky you're recording. I know.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:39]:
So, Megs, where can people find you if they wanna continue conversations with you.

Megs [00:44:46]:
I love that you said if, because you know what? I'm not for everyone. You know what? I'm totally after a long time, after you've just heard my story, I'm okay with this. I'm totally okay with this. So if I am someone that you, wanna connect with, then you can, yeah, reach me on my probably my website is the best place to go. Just breed to b u.com. My little quiz is gonna pop up and tempt you. So if you wanna take that, please do. But, yeah, I think the the other thing to do is just Did I jump on a call? I love to talk, if you haven't noticed.

Megs [00:45:17]:
So I'd love to talk to you. And if I'm your person and you want me to navigate this journey for you, then I'm all in.

Dirty Skittles [00:45:24]:
Nice. I love that. Megs. Man.

G-Rex [00:45:29]:
You are

Megs [00:45:30]:
so awesome.

G-Rex [00:45:31]:
So Blessings. So I have a question for Megs. Can you tell us a little bit about your podcast? Because personally, it's one of my, one of my favorites, next to wine.

Megs [00:45:43]:
I love that. Thank you. And I did see your review, and I did go. I did have a little moment there, so thank you for that. Well, my podcast is called the freed to be you podcast. And if you give me, like, 30 seconds, I wanna tell you why it's freed and not free because I've been told so many times that it's grammatically incorrect. And guess what? I don't give a shit, because it's a reason for that.

Dirty Skittles [00:46:07]:
I love that. Tell us. Tell the people.

Megs [00:46:10]:
So the d is there for a reason because we need to step over the line into self discovery like we've been talking about. So we need to we need we need to understand that the freedom is on the other side of of choosing ourselves. And so that's why it's freed to be you and not free to be you, because I want people to understand that there is there is a precipice that we have to be brave enough. And so my podcast is about giving people the courage to do that. And the way that I do that is by having people on who have either done it themselves, so they are step step through self abandonment, and they're living a fully self expressed life, or they're somebody who's Personally helped me on that journey. Or they're helping other people or helping my audience, which is generally women over 40, who They're helping them in a different way. So health is a big thing. There's a lot of things that get in the way of us showing up fully and being self expressed and loving our life.

Megs [00:47:09]:
So we need to like, our health changes massively after we turn for peace and care what anyone says. That doesn't work the way that it used to, so we need to understand that. And then, like, you know, relationships is a big topic for me because I think that where we uncover ourselves and where we get the most where we uncover ourselves and where we and where we get the most where we uncover ourselves and also where we can get the most stuck is in our relationships and when we relate to other people. So lots of chats, Lots of conversations that I'm having. I am gonna bring in a little bit, you know, more, juicy topics next year. But, yeah, I just wanna give people permission to have the courage to actually do the work and know that that work's gonna go on. It's never gonna end. Well, I'm only gonna stop doing it when I'm in the in the ground.

Megs [00:47:56]:
So

G-Rex [00:47:57]:
I'm I'm just gonna tell you that, you know, if you think that you have big, you know, health And life changes at 40. Wait till you hit 60. K? Because it fucking slaps you in the face.

Megs [00:48:07]:
Yeah. I get it. Like And that's the thing. It never ends. Right? We're gonna completely we're gonna be reinventing ourselves and rediscovering ourselves until we're not doing that anymore. So, you know, We can learn how to do that.

G-Rex [00:48:21]:
So I have so I have 2 questions for you. What do you do now for self love? And what do you do for self care?

Megs [00:48:33]:
Oh my. Self care? Well, I got my nails done yesterday, which is what most people think of when you say that. Right? Right. Right. Where where people go the obvious things. So that's one of the obvious things, But I one of the biggest things I do is I forgive myself often Because I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna sit here and say that I'm perfect even though that's my been my life goal as we just discussed. But I'm far from it, and we do screw up. And one of the biggest things I think we need to learn how to do is forgive ourselves daily.

Megs [00:49:10]:
Mhmm. And it's not an obvious thing. Yep. And it's not easy to do. Because if we don't, that cup builds up real fast, and then it's a lot more work. So that's one of the things I do. I've learned how to forgive myself. What does that look like? If it's something if it is involved with somebody else, then I I own it.

Megs [00:49:33]:
If it doesn't, Then I like to I like to journal. I like to write things down. Sorry. That's also something I do. And self love. I I Freaking love music. I love podcasts, but I really love music. I find it's kind of therapeutic for me, and it's it's interesting what music I choose, but I find that it shifts my mood immediately.

Megs [00:49:55]:
And if I'm not doing anything where I need to have other, You know, where if I'm not editing or on a podcast, but there's always some music in the background because I just find it just, yeah, I love it. And also love the Which I think we were might have joked about that before, but, I live on a in a beautiful place, so getting outside and Another obvious one. Right? But we need to figure out what that stuff is for us. So it's a great question.

Dirty Skittles [00:50:21]:
I love it.

G-Rex [00:50:22]:
Be skittles. We need to go to Australia now.

Dirty Skittles [00:50:24]:
Oh my god. Yes.

Megs [00:50:26]:
Oh, please do. We'd have so much fun.

Dirty Skittles [00:50:27]:
Literally sign me up. Although, I hear you guys got some, like, huge bugs and, like, all kinds of crazy Shit over there. Right?

Megs [00:50:35]:
So funny. Everyone of everyone over there Yeah. Thinks that.

Dirty Skittles [00:50:42]:
I don't know where it started from, honestly. No. But yeah. That would be awesome. We should do it. Oh, we could do, like, a traveling The traveling

G-Rex [00:50:52]:
podcast. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:50:53]:
We go

Megs [00:50:53]:
to Australia.

G-Rex [00:50:54]:
That's our

Megs [00:50:54]:
1st stop.

G-Rex [00:50:55]:
Awesome. Yeah. That would be awesome. I I love your story, Megs.

Dirty Skittles [00:51:00]:
Yep.

G-Rex [00:51:01]:
And I I love everything about your podcast and your and your message, and it just it resonates with me on such a high level. Yep. And I I think that's why I love your podcast so much too. You're just a good person. You you really already have an amazing heart, and just sharing your story with us was huge.

Dirty Skittles [00:51:23]:
Yeah. Thank you, Megs. I appreciate it. I mean, I've learned more in this episode than I probably have all season. Like, just the perspective. I'm not gonna forget it. So thank you. It's okay to be not okay.

Dirty Skittles [00:51:43]:
Just make sure you're talking to someone.