Welcome to another powerful episode with your hosts, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles! We're honored to have the incredible Dr. mOe Anderson join us this week. A trailblazer in dentistry, a best-selling author, a TEDx speaker, and a podcast host, Dr. mOe opens up about her journey, offering invaluable insights into mental health, personal growth, and overcoming life's challenges.
This month, weâre thrilled to be sponsored by X-Sense Smoke Alarms! Keep your home and loved ones safe with X-SenX-Sense smoke alarms. These advanced alarms connect directly to your mobile phone, providing real-time alerts and peace of mind no matter where you are. Plus, you can enjoy a 20% discount with the code XSENSESD. Click here to purchase and secure your home today!
What You'll Gain from This Episode:- Inspiration to Follow Your Passions: Discover how Dr. mOe's early love for science and learning, nurtured by her educator parents, set her on a fulfilling career path.
- Understanding Mental Health & Racism: Learn about the deep connection between dentistry, racism, and mental health as Dr. mOe shares her experiences.
- Insight into Generational Trauma: Understand how fear and anxiety can be passed down through generations, much like inherited trauma.
- The Power of Difficult Conversations: Discuss why tackling tough topics early can strengthen relationships and foster personal growth.
- Self-Care Strategies: Get actionable tips on prioritizing yourself, saying "no" to what doesn't align with your goals, and making time for your passions.
- Creative Inspiration: Hear how Dr. mOe's passion for writing led to the publication of eight books and numerous articles, showcasing the balance between creativity and career success.
- Resilience and Courage: Be inspired by Dr. mOe's story of resilience, education, and the courage to pursue multiple passions while thriving in a demanding career.
This episode is packed with relatable insights encouraging you to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being, pursue your dreams, and confidently navigate life's challenges. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, facing difficult decisions, or seeking inspiration, Dr. mOe's wisdom will surely resonate.
Contact & Follow Dr. mOe Anderson:- Website: drmoeanderson.com
- X: @drmoeanderson
- Instagram: @drmoeanderson
- Facebook: Dr. mOe Anderson
- LinkedIn: Dr. mOe Anderson
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, reach out to the crisis hotline in your area. It's OK not to be OKâmake sure you're talking to someone.
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Acknowledgments:Audio Editing by NJz Audio
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Tune in and be inspired by Dr. mOe Anderson's journey and wisdom!
00:00:06
Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Shit That Goes On In Our Heads,
00:00:10
the podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health.
00:00:13
That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles, and alongside my amazing co-host,
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you, Rex, we are here to share real stories and tips from our incredible guests.
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Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health,
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offering practical advice and heartfelt support.
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Because no one should feel alone in their journey. Join us as we break the stigma
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and build a community of understanding and compassion.
00:00:37
Tune in and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads.
00:00:44
Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Shit That Goes On In Our Heads.
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I'm Dirty Skittles and my co-host G-Rex.
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We are joined today by Dr. Mo.
00:00:59
Welcome, Dr. Mo to our podcast. Thank you so much for taking the time out to talk to us today.
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Hey, I am excited to be here. I'm a big fan. You got a dope podcast and I'm
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looking forward to a fun conversation.
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Let's do it. Thank you. I'm so excited about this. I've been waiting months for this conversation.
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So much time goes between the time we do a pre-interview and then when we really get to record.
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So I'm so excited for you. Just like dive in. Like, yeah, tell us what's going on.
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Wait, can I first like fangirl for a second? So this morning I had your TED
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Talk on because I was like, let me get familiar because I didn't get to meet
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you in the pre-interview.
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So I'm like, I want to get familiar with who the essence of Dr.
00:01:41
Mo is and the things that you shared online.
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So I was listening to it and my son started laughing,
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because my son is six and there's
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something you said like within the first couple of minutes of your ted talk
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that i thought maybe only i thought that way
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which was the fear of going to the dentist what i mean is that when i became
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a mom it was super important for me to not share my fears with him and i i don't
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like the dentist, but the fear that is more,
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you know, that I'm like, oh, this is going to affect him if he knows that I'm
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afraid of this thing, which is whales.
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So we go to the aquarium and I'm like, I got to just compose myself,
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keep it together because I don't want him to be afraid of whales because I'm afraid of whales.
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But he was listening to it and he was like giggling.
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He was like, why are people afraid of dentists? I'm like, I don't know.
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It's just wild, isn't it? And I'm like, oh, that's classic motherhood right there.
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Yeah. So I just had a band go for a minute. So I'm like, oh,
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I get to see you now and talk to you and get to know who Dr. Mo is today.
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So tell us your story. I hear you've got a little bit of a story on your growth.
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So where did it start for you? Yeah.
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Oh, geez, that's pretty broad for me, considering I have eight jobs.
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So I'll just kind of do an overview.
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I'm in health care. I'm a dentist. And the talk you listened to was what dentistry
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teaches us about curbing racism and African American and been African American
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much longer than I've been a dentist.
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But at a point in my life, I realized that there were parallels between my experiences
00:03:25
in both ways. and I am an intellectual tourist.
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I love learning, you know, podcasts, TED Talks, books, all of that.
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I was a nerd, you know, growing up. If they'd had Barnes & Noble when I was
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a kid, that would have been like my playground because I just love the brick and mortar bookstores.
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Sadly, we're losing a lot of them. So, you know, love reading.
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I'm a writer. I have eight published books, fiction, nonfiction,
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professional development, And I host a podcast like you guys,
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Perpetual Motion with Dr. Mo Anderson.
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And I speak, I'm a speaker.
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So what those all have in common is that I like uplifting people, empowering.
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And you can educate people with a novel just like you can with the great podcast guest.
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And that's my goal all the time is to share tips and strategies.
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Strategies and honestly a lot of it is for myself because
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you know a podcast is like a master class in
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ideas just ongoing and as
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I research and ask questions as I appear on podcasts like this you know it makes
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me think it makes me think about things it helps me with new ideas and theories
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and I'm in my element when I'm around people with curious minds and you know
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it doesn't have to be something philosophical or deep,
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just like what you just shared about your son,
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that question and the things that they understand.
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I just love it. So I don't know if you want to ask me anything about any of those.
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I don't want to go on and on about my stuff, but that's in essence,
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those are the wheels that I operate in.
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So I say my wheels house instead of my wheel because I got a lot of the irons
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and the fire, but I'm not happy just sitting around.
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I like doing stuff and interacting with people.
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Yeah. I have a question. Growing up, were you always interested in learning and exploring topics?
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You know what? Yes, I was. And my mom was teasing me the other day about the
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fact that I asked for a chemistry set every Christmas.
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I wanted another chemistry set, not Barbie, not a dollhouse,
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but I just love test tubes and things like that or books.
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And that's pretty much what I'm doing now. I'm the same girl.
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But I think my friends would say also that I got a wicked sense of humor and I'm a great dancer.
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I'm not going to demonstrate right now because of the heat.
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I was with some friends in my den last night trying to learn this,
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to me, a line dance that everybody is doing now.
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I'm about eight months late on it, but I like stuff like that,
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fishing and hanging out.
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So I like to think I'm left brain, right brain, essentially nerdy at the core,
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but not so much so that I can't do stuff like this and have a good time and
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hang out for happy hour after hour.
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So I've been so good though.
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Like since I had my breakdown, I really, or my drinking and I had stopped drinking
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at the the end of January, and I just had a drink the other day,
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and I couldn't even finish it.
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I've been now into these lovely THC seltzers, because they're amazing, and I only need one.
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It's five milligrams, and it just carries me through the day,
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and it really cuts my nerves, because sometimes when I'm recording,
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believe it or not, I get a little nervous. So...
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What this does is it just keeps me even. I still have my humor,
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but I'm not like super red in the neck.
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And I'm not being all jittery because I also think I have a little bit of adult onset ADHD.
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So, you know, it happens when you turn 60. Okay. Shit goes on your head and
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you're not quite sure what to do with it.
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I feel like that's happening to me now, but like every night,
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I get a wall of friends and stuff.
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40 to new 60. Great. So your parents fostered that, essentially,
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that mindset that you had as a young kid, they would get you the chemistry sets
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and let you explore the books.
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I love that. My parents are educators.
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So, you know, if it hadn't been natural for me, I don't believe it would have
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been optional because they,
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you know, that generation very much believed in the power of education and that
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being a way. And I grew up middle class.
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I wasn't necessarily trying to get a way out or escape anything,
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but they felt like, you know, the nine to five and some sort of paper with it
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was a way to have financial independence.
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So they were big on education, but they didn't really have to push me because
00:08:20
I just naturally love learning. Yeah.
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When you were younger, I'm just trying to think because I was not the chemistry set type of child.
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But when you were younger, did you already know you wanted to get into like
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the health care field or what was what were your dreams as a child?
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Like, would you want to be? I didn't know.
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Felt like something with science as I got probably toward middle school or whatever.
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But I also looked into law and medicine and the professions that I knew about.
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Sadly, there were so many things that I didn't know about. I can't say I wouldn't
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do something different now.
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I mean, these kids are so lucky, like my grandkids, you know,
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they know about marine biology and forestry and being a developer and all of
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that. And those things were around when I was a kid, but I didn't see it.
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I didn't know anyone who did that.
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You know, National Geographic, it was just, you know, women with no tops and
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men with bones in their nose. So I knew I didn't want to do that.
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I was like, I don't want to do that. That looks like they get sunburned. I don't know.
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I'm going to want something to endorse. course and so all
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the things that I
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knew you know I knew I wouldn't be a good teacher
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I barely made it through with my two sons doing homework because I'm kind of
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I just see things one way my parents could present things like good educators
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a thousand different ways depending on how you learn but I'd be with my kids
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and I'm like it's eight I don't you know whatever your teacher told you you,
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however you get there, it's eight.
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I want to do it my way. I don't know what to tell you. I can't help yourself.
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Why would you say I have some battles? But she said to, because they didn't,
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they weren't carrying the one anymore.
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It was like this whole new math and I didn't want to do it. So,
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And then medicine, I never wanted to tell anyone that they were terminal or
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that they were going to have to die.
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And, you know, people go into it for the health care, for helping people live.
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But my mind jumped to that part and never wanted to do that.
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And ironically, I still had to do something similar when I was in clinical practice
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because I had two patients I never forget that had, you know, in the mouth.
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Part of our exam that we're doing is looking for any signs
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of oral cancer or pathology and there
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were two patients who definitely and
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you don't tell them it's cancer but you have to say enough to give them a sense
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of urgency go to the physician or the oral surgeon to look and I just remember
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this one kept pressing me and pressing me is it cancer do you think it's cancer
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do you And it was cardinally cancer.
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But, you know, finally, I had to say there's a high probability and it just
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broke my heart to even have to do that.
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But I didn't want him to not follow up because I didn't scare him enough,
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to be honest. So that's it.
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There were a limited number of careers I knew about to answer your question.
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And of the ones that I knew about dentistry interested me the most because I
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love art and I love science and I love communicating with people.
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And if you think about what dentists do, we spend more time with you guys than
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anybody, unless they're doing surgery, in which case you're unconscious.
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But just right there in the chair next to people, forming rapport and all of
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that, I really like that.
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And then the wonderful toys, lasers and I mean, dentistry now is just,
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oh, God, it's so much fun. It's like Batman.
00:12:01
If Batman was a dentist, you know, that's cool.
00:12:07
So I kind of hate I'm in insurance now because that it was always a big thing about the toys for me.
00:12:15
Yeah. All of us listeners that are scared of dentists are like just all the toys.
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Yeah the toys oh no yeah
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just put me out please thank you and I did not say torture I
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said I think that's
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the two sides of that drill yeah yeah I mean not to keep going back to the TED
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talk but can I ask how did you land on the fear topic like how were you able
00:12:42
to put those two together that fear is like passed down like how did that.
00:12:48
Come to realization for you? Well, in the talk,
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I talk about my experience in dental school where a patient's mother was in
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the room and he was reflecting the fear and the racism that she had put into him.
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And while I recognized within that moment, I was in my early twenties and I
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can't, you know, I'm in the South, I'm an African-American woman.
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Racism isn't anything new to me, but it wasn't until much later that I saw the
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parallels that the fear some people inherently have of me, even though they
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don't know me, and the fear that they may have of a dentist.
00:13:31
Even like there are a lot of six-year-olds who've never been to the dentist,
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but they come in terrified because their parents have said, I'm going to take you to the dentist.
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They're going to punish you. In essence, they use us like that or tell them
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about how horrible it was and how much pain.
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So yes, it's passed down from generation to generation, like a toxic heirloom,
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which is what I say in the talk.
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But it was maybe two years ago that, you know how you have all these separate pieces in your mind.
00:13:59
I'm a boomer too, but it was maybe two years ago.
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I think I started thinking about it maybe around George Floyd,
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but, and just little pieces of it were floating around.
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And then one day it just came together for me because that is,
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I do talk about equity and racism and things like that, but I'd never put anything
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together quite like I did in that TEDx talk.
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And I had some great help, some coaches, but I did write it and they just helped
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me make it better and help with the delivery.
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And it's, I mean, I think we've all got a story in us.
00:14:32
We've all got a talk in us, putting together different experiences.
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I mean, even between the two of you, you could share some of the things that
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have happened to you and how they they impacted you and that's all the talks
00:14:43
are is just a big idea of how we can make things better and you guys are doing
00:14:48
that all the time oh thanks.
00:14:51
Yeah i'm like thanks yeah we're trying
00:14:53
you know when we both started this we didn't think anybody would
00:14:57
listen you know we were hoping maybe like here we are yeah we thought we'd be
00:15:03
like three shows in 100 downloads but you know we learned something in like
00:15:08
with every single one of our guests you know i personally have more self-help
00:15:13
books now and journals than i've ever had in my entire life,
00:15:16
but I use them. These are tools that I use.
00:15:19
And, you know, three years ago, if you'd asked us if this was going to happen,
00:15:25
no, but I'm happy where we're at. And we get to talk to really great guests like you.
00:15:31
And, you know, when we were talking, I don't know, months ago,
00:15:36
you know, you just shared your story and you were so passionate about,
00:15:40
you know, just like the mental health aspect of all this, right? Right.
00:15:44
Because, you know, part of taking care of our self-care and self-love is also going to the dentist.
00:15:50
So I'm not a big seeker to some of our listeners, but to maybe you guys,
00:15:55
I'm terrified of the dentist.
00:15:57
And it wasn't something that was generational. It was something that happened to me later in life.
00:16:02
And since then, I'm deathly afraid.
00:16:06
Trade like my so when i
00:16:09
broke my nose in new york city i had also ended up cracking two teeth so that
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they had to go and take those teeth out i my blood pressure just totally sank
00:16:21
i was so nervous but then when i was coming home i just started to try and do
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some breathing exercises.
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Just to relax myself because i was so overwhelmed by the experience but But
00:16:34
I think, I know that if I'd had a dentist like you,
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I would have been way more comfortable because bedside manner is everything, right? Oh, yes.
00:16:45
Absolutely. If you're going to be a dick to me, like, you're just going to make
00:16:49
the worst experience of my life 10 times worse.
00:16:53
But I think the demeanor, and maybe like in dentistry or any medical field,
00:16:59
if we talked a little bit more about the mental health aspect of this,
00:17:02
because for me, it's a terrifying experience.
00:17:06
But, you know, maybe like when you have to have like a mental health,
00:17:10
like a tooth removed or something,
00:17:12
you know, maybe give patients like an idea of things they can do to kind of
00:17:16
calm themselves down before that happens, like some breathing exercises or things like that.
00:17:21
Is that something that you guys do in your practice or you've done in the past? Absolutely.
00:17:26
Yeah, I'm in insurance now in benefits administration, but there are some providers
00:17:32
who do acupuncture and things like that to help with biofeedback.
00:17:38
For really terrified patients, usually they opt for a sedation.
00:17:43
Nitrous is a very safe form of conscious sedation that reverses pretty quickly.
00:17:49
Some people, depending on if they're getting a whole lot of work,
00:17:52
they go general anesthesia, but we want to avoid that if it's not absolutely
00:17:57
necessary because there's always a risk when you have anesthesia and when you have surgery.
00:18:03
But I'm going to say the biggest thing to avoid having that as an adult,
00:18:08
and you and I have different experiences with dentists because I'm 61.
00:18:12
And I remember being in the dental chair and smoke coming out of my mouth and
00:18:16
all of these noises and stuff.
00:18:18
So it wasn't the most amazing experience for me.
00:18:21
But the good thing my parents did is that they took me early.
00:18:25
That's where we're messing up with a lot of the kids.
00:18:27
Because if I see you at 6, 7, 8, 10, 20, and you've got a mouthful of cavities,
00:18:34
you've got infection, you've got gum disease, it's going to be uncomfortable to straighten that out.
00:18:39
Now, getting you through that process and doing the best we can to alleviate
00:18:44
the discomfort comfort with a good, you know, education and bedside manner helps
00:18:49
with the attitude and the mindset.
00:18:51
But once you've had a bad experience, it's really hard for us to overcome it.
00:18:57
But it's so often what I saw so often was parents or the individual just waited too late.
00:19:04
You know, when they had that sensitivity to sugar, they didn't come in.
00:19:08
When they had the sensitivity to cold, they didn't come in. When it was cold
00:19:11
and hot, they didn't come in.
00:19:13
And then invariably on the the 4th of July or Christmas or whatever,
00:19:17
that face is going to blow up or a piece comes off and then they're blowing up our phones.
00:19:25
And it's really prevention, which I also talk about a lot is the more afraid
00:19:31
you are is counterintuitive, but the more you need to be in,
00:19:35
the more you need to go so that things are caught really early and solved really simply.
00:19:40
Waiting is the worst thing in the world, but if you don't want to go,
00:19:45
you just like, I'm not going to go until I just have to.
00:19:48
But that is exactly the opposite for anything, really.
00:19:51
For medical problems, for your car, the yellow light means something.
00:19:56
We're not going to wait till the car breaks down.
00:19:58
But we don't do that with our oral health, and it affects our entire bodies.
00:20:03
People have literally died from a bad toothache because they let it go too long.
00:20:09
For my son, I remember his very first dentist appointment. I don't remember
00:20:13
how old he was. He was pretty young. It was basically kind of when he started getting teeth.
00:20:17
I feel his pediatrician's like, hey, you should go for the first checkup.
00:20:21
And I remember still to this day, his very first visit, he was sitting on my
00:20:25
lap because he wasn't comfortable to be in the chair alone. And I just remember,
00:20:29
you know, I got to get my emotions together.
00:20:31
I want him to have fun in this experience.
00:20:33
We even sought out a dentist that had a service animal for like first visits.
00:20:39
It's like, I was like, I've got to try to make this as happy for him as it could be.
00:20:43
And he still was having this anxiety because it's new and it's different.
00:20:47
And there's these machines and yeah so i remember
00:20:51
my husband and i having a conversation and i was like well
00:20:54
maybe if he goes and sees us at the
00:20:57
dentist it'll be fine and that was when
00:21:00
it clicked he had the same dentist they let us lay in the chair and they were
00:21:04
like doing the checkup on us and he could watch and now it's your turn and then
00:21:08
the service animal came and and i just remember thinking like okay we're good
00:21:12
now and now he like we're in georgia he has his dentist he walks in And they're
00:21:17
like, he owns the place. He don't care.
00:21:18
And he'll let you down and do whatever they ask. And that's the greatest thing
00:21:21
for us to see as well. A little less apprehension each time.
00:21:26
Keeping those visits, you know, positive reinforcement. You're doing a great job. No cavities. Yeah.
00:21:33
And I think it goes back to that thought of like.
00:21:37
Trying to make sure that, you know, you yourself are taken care of and you're
00:21:40
in check and you're not relaying that down to the next generation and passing that fear on.
00:21:46
This is terrible, but my nose is really running. Give me one second.
00:21:50
Yeah, yeah. No, no, you're fine. No worries. These are bad.
00:21:55
I like this backdrop. I want this wall. You need to get your husband to fix it.
00:22:03
Okay. Which one? Your husband needs to fix your wall in your office.
00:22:09
Because I don't like the bear. You need to go... Whatever.
00:22:15
We put up a wall. We're admiring your backdrop. You just put in a movable wall
00:22:21
so you move in the wood frame and then you can move it back out.
00:22:24
You could do that in a workday.
00:22:26
This is... Depending on what I want my background to look like. Yes.
00:22:32
But it really has a nice rich color i
00:22:35
got it on amazon it's on a little frame i've got
00:22:38
a christmas i want something like i know
00:22:42
behind you i like that's dope i know
00:22:45
i know we need a shirt that background well you
00:22:49
have it i'll send it to you next i'll send
00:22:52
it before your next interview oh my god what am i gonna do
00:22:55
with you but so it's
00:22:58
funny that we're talking about this and because I do
00:23:01
need to go back to the dentist right so I've
00:23:05
been doing a little bit of research for myself you
00:23:08
know on how to get myself
00:23:11
in the number one the right frame of mind to call the dentist right I still
00:23:15
got to do that and then finding somebody that I'm going to be comfortable with
00:23:19
but I'm also like practicing some breathing exercises a little bit of meditation
00:23:23
The problem that I have is I have a little bit of adult onset ADHD.
00:23:29
And so trying to meditate or do any mindfulness is truly like an inside battle in my head.
00:23:36
But I realize as I get a little bit later in life that I need to get past this
00:23:42
so that I can get things done.
00:23:47
It's just a horribly terrifying experience for me. And, you know,
00:23:51
people may laugh. They're like, oh, you're afraid of the dentist.
00:23:54
Just there were other circumstances that went into that. And I'm like,
00:23:59
I need to get past this shit.
00:24:02
I need to go to a dentist. Have you never been other than for emergencies?
00:24:09
Is that what you're saying? So my mouth is really small.
00:24:12
And so every time I would get a sinus infection, I'd end up getting a having
00:24:17
to have a root canal and have my tooth removed.
00:24:19
Moved so I only have like six teeth left on the on my top so I have had many
00:24:26
a trip to the dentist and none of them been pleasant well except for the one
00:24:31
where they like put me out and that was freaking amazing,
00:24:35
Well, that's what I was saying. The sedation push comes to shove.
00:24:38
And you may have to pay for it yourself, but if you're able and it's going to
00:24:42
keep you from being traumatized yet again, then that's what we recommend.
00:24:46
A lot of times insurance won't cover it. But I mean, you pick your pain,
00:24:52
you pick your pain, the financial pain or the emotional pain.
00:24:55
But whenever we make big decisions, there's going to be a pain.
00:25:00
Yeah, yeah, so true. I have a random question.
00:25:05
Random, hear me? Random. I'm talking about teeth, I hope. Let's get on.
00:25:08
No, we're moving past the teeth conversation, hopefully.
00:25:12
Looking back on your journey, meaning, you know, where you started to where
00:25:15
you are today, what has been the hardest lesson that you have learned?
00:25:21
Wow. So many things. There have been a lot of hard lessons,
00:25:31
but the big one for me at this point, where I'm relentlessly pursuing personal
00:25:36
growth is to, I'm going to have to say two.
00:25:41
One is to have difficult conversations as soon as possible after whatever occurs.
00:25:49
Because historically, you know, I would either...
00:25:52
Scream or get real quiet, you know, emotionally withdraw.
00:25:58
And that really hurts relationships either way and makes it very difficult to
00:26:04
repair them if you ever do.
00:26:07
So I wish I'd learned that earlier.
00:26:11
And it is still a work in progress because dealing with other adults, God,
00:26:19
can't you give them a cookie wash their tears and it's over but with adults
00:26:24
you know it's six years later remember that time but clearly you do so let's talk about it again.
00:26:35
That is one of them just communication whether it's for anger management or,
00:26:42
how we're going to delegate work or whatever, just to go ahead and have those conversations.
00:26:48
And I always admired those people. We all had that friend when we were younger
00:26:52
that was like, guys, come on, let's talk about it. And they're dragging you together.
00:26:56
Some people just have a gift for mediation and it doesn't bother them that people
00:27:03
are mad or that feelings are hurt.
00:27:05
Let's talk about it and let's get through it. And I just think that's awesome.
00:27:09
I am getting there and I am so much better. And like you guys listening to the
00:27:13
podcast, I have so many life coaches and therapists and so forth on that that's been a big help.
00:27:20
And then understanding why I would get mad about things and withdraw understanding
00:27:24
that it had to do with things that happened a long time ago.
00:27:27
It wasn't even this person.
00:27:28
So I needed to change my perception and my mindset about that so that I could
00:27:34
deal with, be mindful that in this moment, this person has nothing to do with what happened to me.
00:27:39
With the other person or with that other situation. And the other is to, I'm a giver.
00:27:45
It sounds like you guys are as well, but to make myself a priority,
00:27:50
put myself on my calendar, say no, and don't feel like I have to explain it
00:27:55
and don't feel bad about it.
00:27:57
Often no is the right answer.
00:28:00
And if I don't say no to people and things that don't serve me,
00:28:07
ultimately they don't serve them either because I'm not, I don't know why I'm
00:28:11
whistling the first day at the meeting,
00:28:12
but ultimately if I'm not going to do a good job or I'm going to be resentful
00:28:19
about it, that's hurting me and it's not helping them.
00:28:22
And I'm usually like that because they've taken me away from something that was a priority for me.
00:28:29
So now my behavior is not equivalent to my values and my goals. It's not aligned.
00:28:35
So I am learning to say no based on my goals in life and not based on how loudly
00:28:45
you ask me or how you're crying or how you're blackmailing me with something.
00:28:52
Emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail, but my no is no.
00:28:56
And however you want to process that, you do that, but that has just freed me
00:29:01
for my time, for my self-care, for me to work on my own projects.
00:29:05
And it's not, I give a lot, but I was, it was too much.
00:29:09
I was giving out and then being resentful because acting like somebody made
00:29:15
me do something and they didn't.
00:29:17
That's huge right there. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes when I find
00:29:23
that it's more More oftentimes than not that I will take time for myself when I'm not feeling well,
00:29:29
like I'm sick or I have to go to the doctor or like it's some big thing that's
00:29:34
pushed me to take care of myself versus the everyday dedication to making sure
00:29:39
that you're on your right path.
00:29:42
So that resonates very
00:29:45
much with me hearing you say those things and as
00:29:49
I was listening to you talk before you even touched on it I was again
00:29:52
reflecting on myself I know that if I keep my thoughts and my feelings inside
00:29:58
and I don't approach the person or whatever and discuss it be that mediator
00:30:03
that I will develop resentment and one thing I know about myself through therapy
00:30:07
is once I develop resentment And.
00:30:10
It's real hard to get out of there. It's really hard to get back onto a healthy spot. Right.
00:30:14
Right. Yeah. It's dangerous, man. It really is. And a lot of times I would do
00:30:18
that. And the other person, they didn't know what I was mad.
00:30:21
They didn't know I was mad. Didn't know what I was mad about.
00:30:23
So it was, you know, people can't read your mind either.
00:30:26
So it's, that's fruitless. What is the point of all of that when they're going
00:30:31
on with their lives while you're sitting up journaling about what a terrible person they are?
00:30:37
They're out tubing down the river living their best life life be life,
00:30:46
man you like you answered all the other all the answer the questions i was going
00:30:50
to ask so i was going to ask you know what you do for self-love and self-care
00:30:54
and you already answered that so man you stole my thunder i need to come up with a new question now,
00:31:02
more water better nutrition yeah i've been my nutritionist has me putting this
00:31:08
green stuff in my water it is
00:31:10
off i think she's mowing her grass and chomping this stuff up putting it.
00:31:17
She's marketing it daily
00:31:20
greens yeah yeah and
00:31:25
and exercising and i love to read
00:31:28
that's the other thing is that i had given up some of my passions because i
00:31:32
really do have multiple i have a main job and multiple side jobs but i you know
00:31:38
i'm just putting myself on my calendar we're gonna do a little art today we're
00:31:42
gonna read here little things that in the past i wouldn't have put on my calendar but
00:31:47
something else will take up that space if I don't put me there.
00:31:51
And I shouldn't get the remains of my day. I'm more important than that.
00:31:56
So true. That's definitely true. Write that nugget down, Darnice.
00:32:02
Well, I don't know if everybody thinks that way or has that voice in the back
00:32:07
of their mind telling them that, but I know that it's putting that into action, right?
00:32:13
Like dedicating myself to myself. like
00:32:16
I'm going to do this for me and not wait till you know
00:32:19
some medical emergency to put myself first that you
00:32:22
know one day you're gonna get a bunch of calendar invites for me it'll be I
00:32:29
need to read I need to go outside it won't work I'll ignore them they go straight
00:32:34
to junk I gotta do it for myself I gotta do it for myself okay another one of
00:32:39
my favorite questions to ask just because I'm a curious person.
00:32:42
If you could go back from where you are today to an earlier version of yourself
00:32:47
and give yourself a piece of advice, what would you say?
00:32:53
And how old are you when you go back in time?
00:32:56
I would be in my twenties, I'm sure.
00:33:01
And, oh, that's a good, that's a good question.
00:33:05
Gosh, there's so many places where I wish I'd gone right instead of left or vice versa.
00:33:10
But I think it would be in college, I would tell myself to pursue writing.
00:33:18
I love being in health care and really good at it.
00:33:22
Even what I do now with insurance, because I try to bring not just the company's
00:33:27
perspective, but because I practice so long, I also have the provider's perspective.
00:33:31
And some things aren't so black and white.
00:33:34
You know for standing operating procedures
00:33:37
don't work for health care but I
00:33:40
really yeah and I've written eight books
00:33:43
hundreds of articles I wrote for a major newspaper but I have wondered if I
00:33:48
just pursued writing or you know fine arts or journalism or you know what would
00:33:55
have happened with my career because that is quite my favorite thing is right
00:33:58
I've even written you know lots of
00:34:01
dental articles and research and journals, but didn't have the time,
00:34:06
obviously, I would have had because I wasn't doing it full time. Yeah.
00:34:11
And I feel like that would have put me in a position to be doing something I'm naturally good at.
00:34:21
Dentistry health care I don't think anybody's naturally good at
00:34:24
it I made myself good at it but to have followed
00:34:27
that and I see people who just knew from a
00:34:30
little kid what they wanted to do and you hear them in their
00:34:33
interviews I always wanted to do this you know I can see Mariah
00:34:36
Carey with a comb or a toothbrush or whatever did that
00:34:39
little demon and Beyonce those guys just knowing you know Bishop Tutu probably
00:34:46
knew that he was supposed to be a man of God but I I think I was supposed to
00:34:53
be a full-time writer and that would have changed a lot of things.
00:34:57
I don't want to say anything about people because I don't regret any of those choices.
00:35:02
Even the relationships that ended badly had so many good parts to them or I
00:35:06
never would have been in them.
00:35:08
But the career thing, I just wonder about sometimes.
00:35:11
And I just got an award or living legend in science and technology.
00:35:17
I had a big event I reported. That's what I said.
00:35:20
And when I was under 40 I
00:35:23
got a ton of awards they have so many awards for you guys under 40 you
00:35:26
know outstanding this and that under 40 so I got a ton of those but I tell you
00:35:31
what you gave it 20 40 and 60 they're like well you should be doing well yeah
00:35:36
50 years to get it right seriously you think She gave a pat on the back for that.
00:35:46
However, apparently once you reach your 60s, if you're still going strong,
00:35:51
you become a legend and you start getting awards again.
00:35:56
My grandson was like, what is this award for? I said, I think for being alive. I love that.
00:36:05
That's funny. Congrats on figuring it out early.
00:36:08
You get an award. You figured it out. Good job. Nothing for you.
00:36:12
You're still alive. Congrats.
00:36:15
Look at you. There you go. Legend.
00:36:18
High five. High five.
00:36:20
I told my family I would no longer be Mo or Me-Mo anymore, which is my grandma name.
00:36:27
I tried to do it in my Bridgerton voice. Gentle readers.
00:36:32
For all time, I shall be referred to as hashtag legend.
00:36:39
Yes. Yes. That's so good. So good. Netflix, where you at?
00:36:45
Let it be written, so let it be done. Yes.
00:36:49
That was wonderful. That was wonderful. I love that.
00:36:54
I love that. Oh, this is such a great conversation.
00:36:58
You are just so amazing. Thank you.
00:37:02
Thank you. yes yes thank you so much i appreciate you taking the time to chat
00:37:07
with us and entertaining us with our random dentist questions that,
00:37:11
seems like g-rex needs to get more on
00:37:14
preventative care is what we've learned about the emergency care yeah no but
00:37:20
seriously i think this is like food for the soul just to talk to somebody who's
00:37:25
as successful as you are and where you are in your life and and hearing those
00:37:29
things that I think G-Rex and I can still relate to on like.
00:37:33
Prioritizing ourselves and making what we love a priority and not just an afterthought.
00:37:39
I'm going to put myself on my calendar is what I'm going to do. Go for it, man.
00:37:43
Because I'm like Dr. Moat, if I don't put it on my calendar, it doesn't get done.
00:37:49
Right. Somebody else takes that time.
00:37:51
But the other thing I wanted to know is how can people find you?
00:37:55
Like if they're interested us in your TEDx talks or your podcast?
00:37:59
How do they find you? I'm on all the socials and it's at Dr.
00:38:04
Mo Anderson, D-R-M-O-E.
00:38:06
Put the E in there because there's another Dr. Mo that's M-O,
00:38:10
drmoanderson.com or on the socials at Dr.
00:38:14
Mo Anderson, TikTok, Instagram, X, Twitter, whatever we're calling it now.
00:38:19
And of course, for my professional stuff, did I say Instagram and whatever else they put me on so but the.
00:38:29
Easiest way is just to go to my website and you'll see links to the TEDx Talk,
00:38:34
what dentistry teaches us about curbing racism.
00:38:37
And it's really about unconscious bias, you know, xenophobia,
00:38:41
sexism, racism, all of those biases that are hindering us.
00:38:46
So and I'm a speaker coach as well, if I can throw that out.
00:38:49
So if people got a pitch presentation or they're getting ready to make a TEDx
00:38:56
talk or TED talk, I can work with them and help them. I really love doing that as well.
00:39:01
You guys have been great. And congratulations on the success of your podcast.
00:39:06
I mean, I swear I steal stuff from all the time. I look at your newsletter and it's all like that.
00:39:13
It's amazing. And it's hard. People have no idea how hard this is.
00:39:19
You know, the show notes and the graphics and the newsletter and the editing,
00:39:25
the audio engineer is so much.
00:39:27
I'm telling y'all, these ladies are amazing.
00:39:30
What they do and how well they do it. And your audience, I know they just love you as much as I do.
00:39:35
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
00:39:39
I appreciate it. What a great call. Thank you so much.
00:39:44
Thank you. And go out and film with your grandbabies. I'm so excited.
00:39:47
I am. Yeah, we're going to have a good time today. Thanks for having me.
00:39:51
Thank you. Have a good rest of your weekend. Bye-bye. Bye.
00:39:55
Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles.
00:40:01
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback.
00:40:06
We can't do this without you guys.
00:40:10
It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're okay.
00:40:13
Music.
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