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In part 2 of episode 6, Mr. M shares his life-changing experiences and how they led to creating the vibrant life he lives today. From navigating complex relationships to discovering personal growth, his journey is filled with valuable insights and unexpected turns. Join hosts G-Rex and Dirty Skittles as they unpack lessons learned and the beauty of self-acceptance.
Insights and Lessons Learned:
1. Embracing Change: Mr. M's story demonstrates the power of transformation and the beauty of evolving into one's true self.
2. Resilience and Acceptance: Through navigating difficult relationships, he learned the importance of empathy and understanding.
3. Embracing Diversity: Understanding and accepting people from all walks of life can enrich our own experiences and perspectives.
4. Personal Discovery: Mr. M's journey shows the power of self-awareness and introspection in shaping a fulfilling life.
This episode is a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit and the power of self-discovery. Tune in to Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads for more inspiring stories and valuable insights. Remember to subscribe, rate, and review to stay connected and help us keep delivering enriching content to our audience.
#EvolutionInMotion #LifeChangingNews #UnconventionalLiving #RelationshipGrowth #FamilyEvolution #LoveIsComplicated #OpenMindedJourney #LearningFromLife #UnintentionalPolyamory #EmbracingChange #LGBTQIA+Community #GrowthThroughChallenges #ColorfulLife
S02E08 The Evolution of Mr M - Part 2 - Unconventional Love Stories: Sibling-like Bonds and Open Minds - Guest Host Mr. M.
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Welcome to part 2 of episode 6. We picked
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up where we left off.
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Mister M just heard some life changing news.
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He shares how it turned out be an opportunity
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to create the vibrant experience that is his life
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today.
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Chapter 3. There were a lot of things that
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happened in between then and now.
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One of them being,
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we were at a company
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meeting. Well, not a meeting, but, like, an a,
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like, an award trip
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and
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she had literally just started talking to this person
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online.
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probably had I think they they met, like, one
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time. This person lived in Oregon -- Wow. --
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and we live in
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Florida. Yeah. Which is the complete polar opposite end
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of the country from corner to corner. I had
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agreed
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Yeah. Yeah. They can move to Florida. That's fine.
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It was not fine.
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There you were in the thick of it. Alright.
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There wasn't the thick of it trying to keep
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her
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sane.
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Right?
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And
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so I have now kind of shed myself
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Like, I have literally just become a being of
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light
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and trying and trying to do the right thing.
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And
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you know, our our we we had a a
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a bit of money saved up, and I was
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like, alright. I guess this is what we're gonna
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do. We're gonna we're gonna try I'm gonna try
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to So what what I my ultimate goal was
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to buy a property out west and put her
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up in it and,
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like,
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move back and forth between the 2, like, kind
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of, like, Snowbird style, except
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at extremes.
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That
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never came to fruition, and thank god. I I
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could not have done that.
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But, you know, the whole plan was, like, my
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brother lives up in that area too. So, like,
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it's, like, I'll buy a place. I'll make him
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the main caretaker of him. You're trying to make
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it work. I was trying to make it work.
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Right? There was a whole bunch of stuff going
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on
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behind the scenes in my head that as just
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like, this is a logistical nightmare.
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And I you know, if anyone could figure it
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out, it it'll be it'll be her and I,
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But, you know, it it it it did work
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out. And so we ended up moving this person
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to our home.
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And
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that went poorly.
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You know,
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I was living in the middle of an episode
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of the l word.
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Oh,
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that's that's G Rex's fave show. It's
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It is. I mean I mean, I had a
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live action version of it appearing nightly in front
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of me. It
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was you know, we had U Haul and lesbians.
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We had Bush lesbians. We had fems. We had
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everybody.
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I had to choose damn. I would've been I
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would've loved that. Yeah. I mean, you know
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and,
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you know,
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from the outside,
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looking in, it it was that. It was it
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was just complete drama, shit show happening all the
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time.
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You know? But so what ended up happening was
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wife,
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too, and I decided to like, we were we
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were, like we're trying to make it work, you
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know, as far as an entity together. Then we
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ultimately decided we're, like, this isn't this is dumb.
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Why are we why are we doing this? Like,
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we should just get a divorce. So that way,
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we're able to, you know,
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be in relationships with people and not have it
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not be weird. Right? because, like,
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she and I both started relationships
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with the premise of,
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I'm married to this person, but I'm not with
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them.
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Yeah. And That can't be an easy conversation. Well,
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it's not an easy conversation.
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And
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her relationship just started like that
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did not work out. That was the one that
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came from Oregon.
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And
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my relationship well, welcome to our house.
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That's because he got this up a good one.
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So so, you know, clearly, it worked out in
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that way. But, you know, I we
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when I presented these, I you know, I actually,
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you know what? Before I get there, so we
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decided, okay, let's let's get the divorce, let's do
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the thing, but
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it the pandemic had just started.
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Oh,
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okay. So, like, literally, everything shut down.
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So it's like, well -- -- this is a
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sign? It's gonna happen
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just not yet.
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But, you know, throughout the whole thing,
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Yo. Wife, too, and I,
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you know, we we communicated
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properly. You know, we didn't there was no sniping.
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There was just like a a division of assets.
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Like, literally, I was like, hey. Whatever you wanna
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take, take it,
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whatever I wanna take, I'll take it, and anything
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we don't want will sell.
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Right? And that included our house. Mhmm.
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So, yeah, we we divided everything as as best
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we could.
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I said, you know, any of the, like, any
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of the furniture that you want, it's yours,
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you know, that that kind of stuff. because I,
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you know, I
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was more I had more in my account, essentially.
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Right? Like, I was able I was more flexible.
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So I could be like, no. If I need
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to get a new table, I need to get
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a new table -- Right. -- and that kind
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of thing.
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So it was just very much a let's be
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fair to each other. Let's not let's whatever you
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need, whatever you want,
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or whatever I need or know or want,
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will work it out. Mhmm. And there was never
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any contention. There was never any
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I want that thing that you want. It was
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never any of that. It was more like, hey.
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You should take this piece because I know you
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like it. That kind of stuff.
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In fact, there's a piece of furniture here that
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I'm actually gonna give back to her
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in a couple days,
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I think.
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So
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she's kinda starting over again.
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So I'm try to you know, because she's you're
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redecorating
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her her living room after having a a a
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pretty nasty split.
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Yeah. I mean, it's it's again
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oh, I so
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I asked her after
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that relationship had ended, and she started another one,
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like, almost immediately. I mean, like,
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as, like, so what are your plans? She's like,
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oh, you haul and she'd say her name. You
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haul this person is is dead.
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Oh.
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I am not moving, and I'm not having anyone
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move in with me.
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Oh. I was like, oh, that's the answer I
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needed to hear.
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I I I I can tell you that lesbian
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breakups are the worst. And so it's lesbian drama.
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I can imagine. It puts it puts hat drama
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Just shame. It it does. I'm just gonna say
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that. I I
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I mean, the but that's the thing. It's like,
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it's passionate. Right? Like, it's it it like, that
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kind of drama just feels incredibly
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passionate, but also petty.
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It's -- Oh, because no. -- have you
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some females can be petty as well.
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I mean right. Obviously, I'm saying this from, you
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know, cis heterosexual,
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you know, white male perspective.
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So my opinion on things,
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especially in the lesbian community is not
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not very high,
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you know, not highly regarded upon, you know, upon
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that community, you know, thinking about how I perceive
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things. But, you know,
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It was messy. It was tough.
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I'm still friends with both of them in that
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relationship, and
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they're like, you still gonna be friends with that?
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Yes. I'm still I'm gonna be friendly. Like, I
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I'm not a jerk. Like, you you neither of
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you did anything to me
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Right? And it
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so but that's a that's a whole thing.
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So you guys are still very much in --
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Yeah. in each other's lives. Yeah. She was over
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here the other night for dinner. Oh,
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they love that. So, Mister M, can I ask
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you another question? Absolutely.
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How did your family feel about wife number 2?
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They've gone through ebbs and
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flows.
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So
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when they first met wife too, they were they
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were very happy with her.
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They they liked having her around.
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And they and they still do. But, like, their
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opinions of her have changed as
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she has come in to realize who she is.
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And And one what's you know, what time my
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mother was like, oh, I I really I you
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know, I really don't like how, you know, they
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handled that. And I went Well, why would you
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care? Like like, why do you yeah. I I
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really wish you wouldn't have that opinion of this
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person.
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You know?
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sorry, but it's right? Like so and and then
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so I think from that moment on,
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they've been all on good terms. Right? So, like,
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whenever they see
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when whenever my parents see wife number 2, they're
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it's always like, oh, how are you? How are
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things How are you feeling? You know, it's always
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a very positive interaction.
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You know, kinda superficial, but but not but not,
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like,
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There's like, whenever I speak to my mother and
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this person comes up, wife number 2 comes up,
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it's always I I hope they're doing well.
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Right. It's it's so so, like yes. So they
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are they are very positive on
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on that. You know? And, you know, my my
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parents, especially my dad, is
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pretty conservative.
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Although,
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He's worked for the Mega Corporation operating theme parks
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in Orlando for years, and then
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was
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force retired during the pandemic. So, like, he had
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he had had a part time job there for
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almost 20 years -- Mhmm. -- then they force
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retired him.
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So, like, whenever the mention of the
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of the former president or a current governor of
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Florida comes up, I try to just
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bite my tongue and and stop all conversation about
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it.
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But I know he knows that some of the
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things that are going on in Florida right now
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is especially between the
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governor and the mega corporation that operates Sydney Parks
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Orlando. Because of all of that,
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I I think he's just like, this is dumb.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. So, like, there's the there's the crack showing.
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Right? Like
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so and, like, he, you know, he accepts
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wife number 2 for she who for who she
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is, and that's not changing any right. And it's
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not Like, he's like, oh, you know, the gays
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are bad. He's never been like that. Yeah. He
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he refers
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to the people in the queer community sometimes in
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old terms.
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Not any derogated. Like okay. It's somewhat derogatory, but
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it's not, like, the real bad ones. It's always
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like, oh, he's a flamer.
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Oh.
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Which which I'm like, dad.
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No. And then our other queer friend
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He thinks that's hilarious. So, like, I don't know.
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I don't know how to judge anymore.
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That's too funny. Ugh. I think it's I mean,
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I think your whole story is very interesting because
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you're you have you're in a relationship right now,
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and you mentioned that you met while you were
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still with wife number 2. Mhmm.
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And as we sit here and I'm hearing your
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story, it's actually, like,
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No. I I don't think it was intentional, but,
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like, I look up and I see your framed
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photos. And, like, the way you have everything laid
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out, like, you have a very beautiful
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family now. Right? Yeah. Like, it's it's more than
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just your past and, like, this truly is your
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evolution to where you are now. So now now
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I I I want to refer to wife too
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now as my sister because that's essentially how our
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relationship has evolved. Yeah. I have said so much
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to her, and she has absolutely shipperkated that. I
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was like, yeah. I think of you more as
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my sibling now. Your family. Yeah. We're family. Right?
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That's
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that's just that's it. Right? That's just how it
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goes. And
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and so, like -- Which is, like and the
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way I'm interpreting it is, like, it's such a
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pure love for this person -- Mhmm. -- that
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it's no longer like a a thing. Like, it's
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not a sexual thing. This is somebody you --
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And it hadn't been shared with us. -- when
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we were still you know, trying to make that
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work. Right? Like I said, that intimacy dried up
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years ago. Mhmm. And I wasn't lamenting for it,
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but I was also, like, kinda like, okay. You
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know, what are we doing here? But right. It
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was never oh, I need to find attachment somewhere
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else.
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Was that a was that a hard
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concept to introduce to the person you're with now?
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Like -- Not at all.
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No. In fact, I think one of the first
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things I said to
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my partner
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is
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So this is my life.
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This is the thing that's going on.
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You know, I was
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at the time, I was, like, trying
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out
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single polyamory,
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basically just dating.
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You know, it's just so funny how you could
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be like, oh, so you were just dating. Yeah.
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I guess that's what it that's like.
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You know,
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you know, just not in any sear real serious
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way. And
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and, you know, she was she was, like, super
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open to that. And because You know, our our
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situation is that she shares custody of her kids
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with her ex.
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And they have a really good working relationship together.
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Like, they are really good co parents.
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I don't like to see them together when they
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are having a disagreement
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because that then also brings up a lot of
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past trauma for her.
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But, you know, in general, they work really well
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together, and I think he's a pretty stand up
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guy.
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I I you know, in in many ways, the
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especially when it comes to the the the care
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of the children.
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We don't agree on really much
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except for certain certain basic
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values, which is fine. We agree fundamentally that, you
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know, people are you know, humans are humans, and
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they're and and, you know, everyone deserves love, that
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kind of thing. Right?
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But they have a great working relationship, and I
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don't know where I was going with this. So
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other than to say that my partner came to
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this with a
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very
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open eyes and open arms. Right?
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I was still truly wearing my wedding band, but
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I wore it on a different finger.
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because as a as a sign
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of this person's important to me. Yeah.
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Right? And then he eventually was like, okay. I
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don't have to wear that anymore. I don't have
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to to prove to myself that there's someone to
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me. Right? And I think that was a decision
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that, like, we kinda talked about. Yeah. It was
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and it wasn't you need to take off this
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ring. It was, how do you feel about it
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now? And it was, like, you know, actually, I
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I don't I don't feel about it now. It
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was a natural progression. -- progression out. I don't
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even know where that ring actually is. It's probably
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some in some drawer somewhere or whatever, but, like,
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I don't feel drawn to it. anymore. Like, I
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used to -- because you don't need it. I
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don't need it. Right. It was kinda like a
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crutch. Right? It's that's kinda how I how I
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view
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Right. So I
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the the part that that cracks me up about
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all of it is
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is that so I I came I came into
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into all this very honestly. I I wasn't I
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laid everything out on the table,
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and she just came back and said, okay.
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Let's let's see what works. Let's let's see what'll
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happen.
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And,
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you know, it's been
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4 years now. I mean, it's been
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It's been awesome.
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Nice. I mean,
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for for what it's worth, I feel like that
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is what you need. Right? Somebody who's open honest
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and, like, yeah, let's just let's just do it.
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Like, there's no
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one shoe fits all. Like, there's not
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one type of relationship that is the type of
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like, it could be whatever you make it. Right.
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And it was it was great because she was
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just willing to listen.
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Mhmm. And willing to hear what I what my
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reasons behind things. Yeah. Her family
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did not like this arrangement
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in the slightest at first. It's different. And literally,
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we're standing in a store, and this is the
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first time I've met her parents.
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and her dad, whom I love, by the way,
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says to me, what are your intentions with my
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daughter?
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I think Bizzles heard that question before. Yeah. I
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I know Bizzles heard that before. Ira, you're telling
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me.
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So were you, like, oh, I'm prepared for this.
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No.
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I mean, I I didn't know what
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I was you know, I didn't know if I
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was ever gonna get question. But
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I've been actually asked that several times in my
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life. Yeah. It's it's
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weird.
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But I said, you know, you know, here's the
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deal is I I I said I literally just
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met your grandkids,
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and we had been dating now at that point
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about 10 months.
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I had just met them the month before,
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like, literally right after Thanksgiving, like, the beginning of
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December. So it was, like, within a few weeks.
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I was like, I've just met your your grandkids,
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we have yo, your daughter and I have been
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working together to build
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a light right, is to make a a a
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you know, make a space
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together.
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And I and I and that's that's all I
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can it's all I can do is you try
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to make a a a safe a safe and
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and comfortable spot for for everyone.
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And that's my intention is to build this life
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with your daughter. And, you know, we're taking it
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judiciously. We're, you know, we're not jumping into it
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and just going, let's go do something crazy. Right?
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Like,
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the the original like, as I had I had
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asked my partner, hey. When when
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is it as I wasn't ready, when is an
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appropriate amount of time to have elapsed before
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I get introduced to the kids.
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And and she was like, oh, it's at least
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it's at least 6 months.
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and it wasn't didn't happen till 9 months. And
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that was okay. Right? It wasn't like,
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oh, let's let's
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Let's meet these kids. Let's meet get let me,
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like, sure hurt myself into their life. And it
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was it was it was very much just a
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a way to to make sure that that we
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were going somewhere. This was something that we because
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this this doesn't do anyone any good to introduce
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children
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Yeah. To someone who may or may not be
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there in the future. Right? And so that was
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the whole point -- Right. -- was to make
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sure that this was gonna be a thing. This
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is this is real.
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And and, you know
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and I think about that now, and it's so
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crazy to have have thought about, like, I wasn't
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in their lives, like, this whole time.
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But now but now, like like, I don't imagine
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my life without them. So let me ask, do
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you think one day you'll ask
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whoever
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your daughter sees one day what their intentions are?
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probably.
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Yeah. I'll probably team up with with the ex
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husband and, like, tag team. I mean, who knows?
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I don't know. No. I'm not Actually, I'm not
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like that. Right? It's gonna happen. I'm I'm putting
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it out in the universe.
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Right. I have the most I try to be
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the most open minded person that I know
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about literally anything at but you're right. It probably
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is gonna be -- I have, like, picture you
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with your feet up, leaned back a little bit,
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squinting.
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I don't know. So
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just based on the conversation you've had, Mister M,
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I I feel like you you know, you have
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evolved as not only, like, a a human, but
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also as,
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you know, kinda coming into your own. Do you
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do you feel like you
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if you look back at your twenty four year
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old self and you look at yourself now, do
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you feel like you've
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you've grown a lot and that you're you became
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a lot more accepting of, like, the
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craziness?
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Yes.
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So
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Sorry. I've I I never used to fancy myself,
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like, ultra liberal, you know, left leaning, but, like,
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as I've As I've gotten older and I've seen
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suffering and I've seen, you know, things that just
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that should not be,
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I've definitely grown. Right? And that's helped shape who
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I am as a human and how I interact
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with the world. Like,
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twenty four year old, Mister M, would not have
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been able to have the conversation that I had
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with my partner about
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This is my stuff. This is everything I've got,
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you know, take it or leave it, that kinda
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thing. Right? I I would I would not have
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been able to do that. I would have been
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very protected and very, like,
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only giving out what I needed to move forward.
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right, and not being honest with myself.
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So, yeah, I've
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you know, once I hit my thirties, I started
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really getting into my stride a bit about who
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I was when I hit 40,
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I was like, okay. This is who I am.
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I this is me as a person. I'm a
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fully realized person, finally,
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I am super comfortable with myself.
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I'm happy with my job. I'm happy with my
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friends. I'm happy with,
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you know, my life, you know, my station. Right?
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I I'm I'm I I am here. This is
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who I am, and this is what I what
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I'm gonna do.
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And I have to say, like,
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if you're home
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because you mentioned it in our conversation like that,
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this is you. Right? Yeah. It's colorful.
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It's beautiful.
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Like, this is, like, legit. Like, you have a
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beautiful
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family life now, which is awesome.
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Right. So I was we're talking with my my
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partner earlier today about
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something about how
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you know, what she was wearing today, which was,
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like, navy blue. And
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and then she was talking to me about this
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other, you know and I was like, oh, yeah.
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But god forbid, you'd wear, you know, your black
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chucks with that. And I said, says the guy
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who holds blue shoes and wears them with literally
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everything.
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and,
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you know, like right. She's like, well, you don't
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own any black. I'm like, I do, but I
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don't wear it. I just don't wear black. Like,
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like, the the darkest thing I own are probably
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these shorts. Right? I'm head to toe and lock.
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And and it it was so funny. It was
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so oh, good. What was it? Was, like,
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you
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know, being wearing all navy blue, like, kinda, It's
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just I have done,
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you know, unintentionally. Like, I'll have, like, dark jeans
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on with a blue sweater.
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And I was like, well, you know and then
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so I think it was my partner was like,
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oh, yeah. That's emo Goth.
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Like, it's not quite Goth, but it's emo Goth.
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I'm like, oh,
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so funny.
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So now I have one more question, and I
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I hope it's not uncomfortable.
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When you were living in the real life
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l word -- Yes. -- or even know how
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to how to say this. To say it.
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Right. Right.
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Did you have any re well, that's one. Did
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you have any regrets? And maybe what's something that
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you really learned from that whole experience? Oh, okay.
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The regret that I had was saying that I
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would spend money to move this person to Florida.
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I enjoyed having them in my life, the I
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I my life is richer for them. In fact,
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they
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they're the ones that introduced me to the concept
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of there are no bad neighborhoods, just economically depressed
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ones.
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And I was just like because I had always
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just used bad neighborhood as shorthand for places I
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didn't wanna be, and I never really understood why
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that was. It's financial desperation. I mean, that's that's
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and then I go, oh,
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the only thing that separates us is money.
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Oh, well, we need to give those communities more
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money. Right? And then they won't be quote, unquote
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bad anymore. They're just acting they're just Right? So,
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like, that person introduced me to that concept, and
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that has dramatically
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shifted my my
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view on you know, neighborhoods around Orlando. Right? Like,
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I used to feel unsafe about driving through certain
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areas, but I'm like, don't know. It these are
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people who are just trying to live their lives.
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and
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don't be afraid of that.
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If, in fact, try to help that. Right? So
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so that that so I I I enjoyed having
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that person in my life. I'm still friends with
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them. They they have moved away.
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Good for them. Right? I mean, I'm glad they
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were able to move on with their life.
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And so that's the thing I regret about about
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that.
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Like, if I could have saved this person that
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trauma, that pain of of moving being in a
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relationship that didn't work out and then having to
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make hard choices to leave.
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I would have loved to have saved them from
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that, but having them in my life, you know,
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I was able to find the kind of the,
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you know, the good point about it. What was
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the second part of your question? I'm sorry.
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Is there anything you've learned from that? Or --
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I mean -- Anything you can't -- Yeah. So
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so, I mean, I've
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I've I've learned that,
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you know, that people are just people. Right? I
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mean, I've mean, I need I've always known that.
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But, I mean, like,
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again, that whole, like,
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personalizing
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someone's actions
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against yourself has never really the answer, right, is
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is that they're going through their own shit, and
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they gotta and and maybe they need a helping
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hand.
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Right?
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That's kind of
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the focus of what I'm experiencing around it was
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just like it's a it's a whirlwind of chaos.
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Someone's always upset. At one point,
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a Guys, I I had
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I have my own cat.
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My second wife has her own cat. So there
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were 2 cats. Then at one point before
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this third person
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moved in,
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We decided to get
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a third cat together, our cat.
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So now we're up to 3 cats.
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This person moved in,
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and they had
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2 cats and a dog.
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Woah. Then
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wife, too, moved out, moved in with her next
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partner,
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didn't take her cat.
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Then and this is the part that is the
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the real true L word story here is then
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wife number 2's former girlfriend then moved her current
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girlfriend in.
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without asking, number 1,
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with her own cat. There were 6 cats and
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a dog.
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in my 1500
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Square Foot house. I have 8 I have 8
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I have 8 cats
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but we are in 27100
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Square Feet. So -- Can you probably have enough
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litter boxes to support that? I imagine.
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We do.
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I had to buy
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2 or 3 additional litter boxes.
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Then my cat,
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my poor sweet angel baby kitty,
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who is now 18 this year.
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Is that did I see? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
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That's ESMA. Mhmm.
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And
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she lived on
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that buffet you see behind you there in the
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old house. She lived on that buffet would not
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leave it, would not go
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would not
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go get food, would not go get water,
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was wasting away, would not clean herself anymore,
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Wow. -- seriously
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stressed and depressed -- From all the other --
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-- from all the other animals
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taking up her space,
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And at one point, she had such big mats
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in her fur.
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I actually had to shave her. Oh. I had
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to shave my cat. Do you have the picture?
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I I I probably do somewhere. And if you
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wanna put that in show notes later, I can
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I'd love that because I think the other part
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of it is probably some lesbian drama. Oh, it's
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all lesbian drama. -- drama like, cat pick up
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on that. Okay? Yeah. Animals pick up on lesbian
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drama. I'm just gonna tell you. Right. It's it's
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they're tuned to it. It's the worst. It's the
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worst.
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I I have to say thank you for letting
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us
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get to know you. Here's the story of your
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evolution.
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Get to see a little bit of your beautiful,
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colorful, wonderful, wonderful life.
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It's okay
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to be not okay. Just make sure we're talking