Part 2 - Exploring Authenticity: Reimagining Relationships and Embracing Individuality

Dirty Skittles [00:00:02]:
Welcome back for a continuation of last week's episode, where we are joined by Mr. M. Mr. T. And.

Mr. T [00:00:25]:
It okay.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:26]:
So you get out of this relationship. It definitely is. Like a little light bulb goes off that, hey, there's something here. So you come out, you share that with him, and since then, you've been growing and learning right.

Mr. T [00:00:41]:
Different. Doing my baby lesbian gay thing, making a lot of mistakes, making so many mistakes. But ultimately, every time that I've made a mistake, now I can say, you know, what I've learned from while I didn't want this to be a lesson, I didn't want this to become a lesson. It did ultimately become a lesson. But I'm better for it. With every single person that I talk to, that I meet, that I enter in a relationship with, that I date. I learned something new about what I want and what I don't want. And it's ultimately just helping me realize who I am as a fully developed human being and what my needs are within myself and within another person.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:33]:
Got it.

Mr. T [00:01:34]:
If I ever get to that point.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:36]:
Got it. And, Jay, you were starting to I mean, I would imagine you're healing after this super long relationship that you were in. But also, this is sort of checking a box, like you mentioned, living on a commune and sharing things together. So I'm curious for you. What did you learn about yourself during that period?

Jay [00:01:57]:
I think, too, because I had such I wasn't relying on the relationship to meet all my needs. It was nice to have a relationship. It was nice to share things with somebody, but I was not needing that. So I could come into it with a very relaxed attitude. Sure. Yes. Okay. There's all this other noise going on.

Jay [00:02:30]:
It's okay because I've got my own noise, and then some days I just go home. But, yeah, it did help me learn a lot of things about myself because I found some old behavior starting to come up, and so I had to just observe them. As much as I want to be structured, there is a part of me that wants to be liked and wants to be cute and appear attractive, but that's not always helpful. That's always healthy. I bend myself over backwards to try to be this thing that I'm like. I can imagine that is what everybody wants of me. And then I'm like, oh, my gosh. What if I said something wrong? What if I did the wrong thing? And it makes all of this anxiety, and so having it be a little more relaxed.

Jay [00:03:38]:
Like, Mr. M had his own distractions. I have my own distractions meant that sometimes I could step back and just observe that response and not have to fully be in it and live it, because I could tear myself to pieces, but I was choosing to just acknowledge it and not dive down into all of those depths. And so I could take a step, I could see the behaviors that weren't healthy come up. I could process them and kind of know where I was, and then I could talk to Mr. M about them and we would decide together, well, what does this mean? And then we'd start the next step. Like, oh, wow, the first time you spend stay somewhere else, it's not your own space with somebody else. He loves to listen to a very particular period of classical music while he sleeps, and I find that super energizing.

Jay [00:04:59]:
So, like, the first time I was at his house, I did not sleep the whole night because I was just like.

Mr M [00:05:10]:
Baroque classical music. So, like Hondol Bach.

Mr. T [00:05:16]:
This is what.

Mr M [00:05:17]:
You go to sleep to? Well, this is what I used to go to sleep to. So it's kind of a holdover from my relationship with Mr. T. She would listen to Beethoven to go to sleep, and in fact, she still does, I know, because she stayed over our house cat sitting for us. And I noticed up with my Apple music some Beethoven at bedtime going, still happens.

Mr. T [00:05:45]:
I have never heard of that before. I have literally listened to Beethoven at bedtime to go to sleep since I was basically ten years old. However long that album has been out, I have listened to it throughout my adulthood to help me go to sleep. Wow. Do you play musical instruments? No, absolutely not.

Dirty Skittles [00:06:10]:
I was very curious. I'm like, oh, maybe because you're playing. No, I could never go to sleep to Beethoven.

Jay [00:06:17]:
It's super energizing. I don't play an instrument, but I am in vocal performance and was in a classical choir, like an auditioned classical choir here in our town. And I sing alto, by the way. Alto power. That type of music is super energizing to me because I'm like following the notes, I follow the trail. So it was actually very nerve wracking to me to say to him, I can't sleep. I need something else. I've never had anybody listen to what I needed.

Jay [00:07:03]:
So that's just like a small example of to be able to say I need us to choose something else, was a big deal to me.

Mr. T [00:07:12]:
It was huge.

Jay [00:07:13]:
And then so it took me a while to ask for it. I had to think about it a lot, and then finally we could talk about it, and then, oh, we could solve it. And I left that feeling calm, and that was like a big deal to me. And so every little step was a series of learning to take up space. And he let me do that.

Dirty Skittles [00:07:41]:
That's cool.

Jay [00:07:42]:
And it was great and was really scary. And then sometimes we came across decisions that were harder to make, like moving in together. And that was where we started to really where it was, the three of us. Because at that point, Mr. M. And Mr. T. Owned a house together.

Jay [00:08:07]:
And I was in an apartment, and I was looking for a house to buy. And we talked about would we move in together, and I thought what my needs were in that. And I was like, I can't join with you financially when you are financially tied to someone else. And so that's going to be a step, right? So we're going to have to figure out a solution to that because otherwise I'm also financially tied to that person. And either we're all agreeing we're financially tied together, or there needs to be a financial separation. And that was when they were still, at that point, married on paper, and they still had financial response, like the house and other things. Keeping a house up, it's not just paying the mortgage, but it's also, like, upkeep and things like that. And if we were going to own a house together, I would need to know what resources we had, and he would always have another pull on resources, right? I'm a totally functional person.

Jay [00:09:17]:
Like, okay, this is all a very boring conversation, and I get it, but that was a tangible way of representing kind of emotionally what we had to negotiate. And I was like, it's fine if we stay here where we each have our separate households and we're in this list way together, that is okay. But you are saying to me that you would like to have more time together, you would like to be in the same spaces together, and I could see that too. But this needs to happen first, and if it doesn't, okay, then this is where the ability to kind of move in together.

Mr M [00:10:02]:
So, Jay, I just interject real quick. So the point, though, is that Mr. T and I had to decide first, are we going to be divorced? That was step number one, right? Do we separate in the legal sense? Right? And at first we were like, no, we don't want to do that. We're fine. We're functional this way. It's fine. Other people should be okay with it. Yada, yada.

Mr M [00:10:30]:
But as we progressed and as we got further into our relationships that we had, at that point, it just didn't seem tenable any longer to be married. So it was kind of a mutual decision, like, yeah, let's go through the legal proceedings. We'll sign all the documents, we'll split our assets, we'll do all of that thing. The problem was that we did not have the ability to sell the house immediately because it was in a certain state of needing to be some upkeep. So some lawn work needed to be done, some minor repairs, some fixing of some remodeling of some stuff in the house, putting closets in bedrooms and things like that. So that took probably several months. And so Jay and I moved in together shortly after we got engaged, and that was like, November of 2019, I want to say. And we had the house sold right as that pandemic was kicking off.

Mr M [00:11:35]:
So February of 2020 is when we officially closed on the house and got it right. So there was a period of time where I was still paying a mortgage and kind of living rent free with Jay and her kids was under the guise of like, hey, all of the stuff that I'm paying for is, like, food and all that. So that helped kind of pay my way in the house, but I wasn't contributing meaningfully to the household until after I could separate from that other house. And I'm pretty sure Mr. T was the same jay, hey, I can't because I'm paying part of this mortgage or these other bills. Actually, I think our bills were divided a little bit differently, Mr. T. But kind of the same feeling on that equitable.

Mr. T [00:12:27]:
I feel like it was more equitable. It was equitable right at the time.

Mr M [00:12:31]:
Right? It may have been like, I paid all of one bill and you paid all of another bill, and that's kind.

Mr. T [00:12:37]:
Of how we did that. Scary.

Dirty Skittles [00:12:40]:
Was that a scary time, like, the separation of finances for you, Mr. T?

Mr. T [00:12:47]:
It was a little bit know, Mr. M was always the breadwinner. Well, later in our relationship, Mr. M became more of the breadwinner. I mean, I was always working, trying to get as much money as I possibly could, but ultimately, I never made as much money as he did. So, yeah, there was that scary bit where I'm like, oh, my God. I was in a relationship, but I wasn't in a relationship with someone. I never go to look for someone who makes a lot of money.

Mr. T [00:13:24]:
I'm not a gold digger, although maybe I should be. That's the next chapter you haven't tried.

Mr M [00:13:36]:
So try that out next.

Mr. T [00:13:37]:
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe I just need to find an old lady that'll take care of me.

Mr M [00:13:45]:
Drop your purse in front of the bank.

G-Rex [00:13:49]:
You know what's funny about that? Or not really funny. So before I got with my current wife, my ex decided that she wanted to be with men, but she didn't happen to tell me that until after we signed a lease on the apartment. Right? So it was a one bedroom apartment. So not only was I paying rent with my current wife, I was having to pay half the rent and the utilities on the other place. I did that for a fucking year. That shit will never happen again. That's right. You know what? I'm happily married now, so we're good.

Jay [00:14:32]:
Well, I think, like I said, finances is, like, a very boring thing to talk about. But it was a big deal to me because I did not have a lot of financial autonomy. By the end of my previous relationship, I didn't even know how to log into our bank accounts. I didn't know how much money we had on hand. I didn't know any of those things. And as we were separating, it was very traumatic to realize exactly how much control I had lost and how little control that I had. I knew I wasn't happy with how much control I had, but to realize how much I had actually lost was really scary. And to reenter, I had to open all my own bank account.

Jay [00:15:24]:
Every day was a new account. I had to enter a new form. I had to fill out, like, a new thing. And so money was kind of, like, traumatic. I had a lot of trauma around money, and I'd already had a lot of trauma around money from a kid. I was always a saver. I was always the person that liked to have a backup plan, and then somehow I found myself not having a backup plan, and I felt really trapped. And that was when things started to get really scary in my previous relationship.

Jay [00:16:06]:
So to even have a financial conversation like, hey, we're going to join our bank accounts, was like, oh, God. It was a big deal. That's a part, too, of how I was coming into this relationship. I was coming from a place where I never had control. I didn't have the space to talk about my needs. I never talked about my needs with another person. And Mr. M made all of that.

Jay [00:16:46]:
Be gentle.

Dirty Skittles [00:16:50]:
That's sweet. If I could just say, hearing you, to me, it sounds like you have really good communication and healthy boundaries. And I don't know the story of your previous relationship, but I think just the ability to speak up and say something, no matter how hard it was, and keep those healthy boundaries is really cool. I think that's one lesson I will take away. Speak up, man. Keep healthy boundaries.

G-Rex [00:17:22]:
Yeah, healthy boundaries. That's important in any relationship, right? Whether you've been married for 28 years, five years, you're just getting into a relationship. Boundaries. And that's all part of my mental health, too, now, is like, if it smells like drama, you don't get to come in the box anymore.

Mr M [00:17:47]:
Right?

G-Rex [00:17:48]:
And Mr. T, you should know this lesbian drama is the absolute fucking my.

Mr. T [00:17:55]:
Can you tell me why? I want to know why.

Mr M [00:17:58]:
Mr. T lives for it.

Mr. T [00:18:00]:
Mr. T lives for it?

Mr M [00:18:01]:
Are you kidding me?

Mr. T [00:18:02]:
Not going to lie. Sometimes I do live for it. I was actually telling them when I came in, I am mid manic episode right now because I have bipolar, so I'm like mid manic episode, and I have nothing better to do but create chaos for the plot right now. That's kind of where I'm at. But I know that that's not good. But lesbians women in general, we are emotional creatures. Let's be honest. And when you get two women together, because we can be headstrong with one another, and hopefully, in most cases in healthy relationships or a lot of unhealthy relationships in the lesbian community, but we are just such messes.

Mr. T [00:18:54]:
I've lived the L word. I've been living the L word, and I'm ready to stop living the L word. Like, for real.

G-Rex [00:19:01]:
Lesbians are petty as fuck. They really are.

Mr. T [00:19:05]:
We are. We are so fucking petty. So petty. And I feel like that's my brand, though. I feel like that's my brand. I've always been petty. So yeah, except for the fact that.

Mr M [00:19:20]:
You care about people, though.

Mr. T [00:19:26]:
Don't ruin my street cred, Mr. M. I am dead inside and a cold hearted bitch.

G-Rex [00:19:34]:
Cold hearted.

Mr M [00:19:35]:
I give you about 40% of that. Right.

G-Rex [00:19:40]:
We do care. But lesbian drama, that's probably why we have about maybe five lesbian friends, because I cannot do the drama. I can't.

Mr. T [00:19:52]:
G. Rex, if you ever want to hear about lesbian drama, please feel free to reach out. I have unlimited amounts of lesbian drama. Yes. And I tell Mr. M about it. I tell Jay about other no, that's not true. I save the real juice for you.

Mr. T [00:20:15]:
Really?

Mr M [00:20:15]:
I do appreciate.

Mr. T [00:20:19]:
Fun. Thank goodness I'm not part of that anymore.

Mr M [00:20:24]:
Anymore. Right.

Mr. T [00:20:26]:
And it's less and less becoming about me, so that's good.

Mr M [00:20:29]:
Exactly. That's a great observation. It's less about, guess what this bitch did to me. It's more like, guess what these bitches are doing to each other. It's crazy.

Jay [00:20:52]:
It's a great evolution to see, and I'm, like, totally here for that, because sometimes I'm like, oh, no, that's a lot of drama.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:06]:
Sounds awesome, though. I can only imagine. So I have kind of a weird, random question. Mr. T. When you finally you've departed from the Mr. M relationship, you're exploring who you are. Did you just go wild, or were you cautiously stepping into relationships after that? Because for me, I'd be like, I can imagine.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:27]:
If you're holding back an essential part of yourself and you finally get to let it out and be you, are you just like, whoo. Like, best day ever. I'm jumping in and fucking discovering women. What was it like?

Mr. T [00:21:40]:
Or was it was no, I'm jumping right in. I think Mr. M talked a little bit about my relationship with the individual that lived in Oregon, that we subsequently moved to Florida, that that relationship didn't end up working out, and the whole L word situation with that. But I like to be in relationships. I absolutely do. I feel like I'm my best version of myself when I'm in a relationship with someone, but at the same time, I'm trying to learn how to be okay, to be alone and finding myself and finding what I want. I have recently redecorated my living room and my dining room because aside from when I was with Mr. M, all of my design choices were always based on, well, I'm going to compromise for my partner and what they want and not necessarily listen to my design aesthetic or my style aesthetic.

Mr. T [00:22:49]:
So I'm now reclaiming my home that I have and finding me and what I always knew what my personal style was, but I've definitely felt more free to express it and finding myself lately and realizing, hey, I need to be a fully formed human being. And I'm also going to school right now. I have a very demanding job, so I'm trying to tread more cautiously than I did when I first came out, and I'm just learning things along the way and that I don't need to rush into a relationship. I want to meet people. I want to foster my existing relationships like I have with Mr. M and with Jay and with a plethora of our other friends that we have together and separately. So that's kind of where I'm at at this point. Treading cautiously, but I was never like, OOH, I'm going to hook up and be with all these women.

Mr. T [00:23:52]:
That's just not who I am as a person.

Mr M [00:23:56]:
I think you like the idea of it more than actually in practice. Right? You like the idea of the pursuit of the relationship and the actual relationship and doing that more times, the idea of it is more appealing than what it actually works at, quote unquote.

Mr. T [00:24:17]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:24:19]:
Is there a design choice you've made recently that you're super excited about or like, something that you bought that just.

Mr. T [00:24:25]:
Gives you good vibes? Yeah. I will say the biggest thing to me lately that I've done for myself is I have always relied on other people to try and fix things for me. Hence me being into generally very butch women. Not going to lie. They're usually fairly handy. So I'm trying to learn how to do more things on my own.

Mr M [00:24:54]:
G rex clapping.

G-Rex [00:24:58]:
That's my totally. She is like, the handiest butch in town. That girl can MacGyver the shit out of anything.

Mr. T [00:25:10]:
So I'm really trying to learn how to do things on my own. And I actually shared a photo recently where I got a couch, put it in the back of my hatchback, drove it to my house, took it, and.

Mr M [00:25:27]:
We'Re talking, like, 30 minutes drive.

Mr. T [00:25:32]:
To an hour drive. Well, it was from UCF to Sanford, so I don't know if anyone knows about that, but it's generally a 30 minutes drive. But it took an hour to get there. So I have even the gentleman that put the couch in my car, they're like, Are you okay? Are you sure you're going to be okay? Yes, I'll be fine. But I ended up getting the couch home, getting into my house by myself, putting it back together by myself. So I felt super duper empowered by that. And fuck yes, I can do this shit by myself. I don't need anyone else.

Mr. T [00:26:08]:
I'm mowing my lawn, which is a huge deal for me, and I'm doing it every single weekend. Nice. Yeah. I'm really trying to be like, you know what? I am independent as fuck. I don't need a woman to help me with anything. I need to discover myself. And if someone comes into my life, that makes it better and I can be a partner and still be myself, but we can also be independent of one another, great. That's what I want.

Mr. T [00:26:37]:
But I'm not going to settle anymore. I've learned so much to go back to than to go back to settling for things just because it's easier.

Dirty Skittles [00:26:51]:
So, Mr. T, that kind of segues. What is the biggest lesson you've learned in your journey thus far?

Mr. T [00:27:02]:
That people actions speak louder than words. Actions. That is the biggest thing that in both of my most recent relationships, it was, I'm going to say these things to you and I will apologize, but at the same time, my actions will not back up my words. So to me, that's become a huge thing in my relationships where I'm like, okay. And I am not willing to accept that anymore. I am not willing to accept that. So that's my biggest takeaway is to really see someone, what they do, not only to me, but to other people, how they are. Because the way that you treat people when other people aren't looking, really talk to someone's character.

Mr. T [00:28:07]:
So that's something that I'm trying to grow. And just, again, I need to learn to be okay. It's okay to be alone. It is 100% okay to be alone. And that's where I'm at right now, too, is I just am trying to focus on myself and just getting through school right now.

Dirty Skittles [00:28:27]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:28:27]:
All I can say is just keep making sure you're doing stuff for yourself too, and staying grounded, doing self love, self care. Let me tell you, I think I went through my twenty s and thirty s and I didn't have any real serious relationships, right. Because I think I was still trying to fucking grow up. But once I found that serious relationship or what I thought was going to be a serious relationship, then I kind of settled down. And then once I met my current wife, that's when I finally just really settled down, right. I knew that that's what I wanted. It was the stability I was looking for, wasn't the fucking crazy that was going on. And man, I applaud you.

G-Rex [00:29:14]:
I really do. Like, you've been through a lot of shit, both you and, like, I love you guys story. Mr m. Mr. M. Mr. M. Mr.

G-Rex [00:29:24]:
M. Fuck you. You know what we've recorded three times, like, my mind is messed up, but I applaud all of you, right? You guys have created a family, right? And family isn't what we're born with. It's what we choose. And you guys are the chosen family. And I love that jay, that you take care of. Make sure that Mr. T is okay.

G-Rex [00:29:52]:
You make sure Mr. M is okay. They all make sure that you're okay, right? And in this world today, because there's a lot of crazy shit going on and just making sure that you are all it actually warms my heart. I kind of have some goosebumps going on right now and I'm so happy for you guys and I love this story.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:17]:
I know it's wild. So Jay, what is the biggest lesson you've learned?

Jay [00:30:23]:
As much as there wasn't a time leading up to meeting Mr. M that it was also what Mr. T said. Like, I can do things on my can. I am capable of this. I would say at this point that my family shows me that it's okay for me to show up as I am.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:48]:
Yeah, that's awesome.

Jay [00:30:53]:
It would not always be my first choice to answer a 01:00 a.m. Phone call, however, but I will be the one to be like, well, we're going to have dinner together every Thursday, right? Or we're going to make sure that we are getting together on a regular basis. I'm going to be the one that makes sure we're taking all of those small consistent steps. And there are some people that would be like, no, it's only love if we are it's 01:00 a.m. Phone calls and it's only love if it is those extremes. But I can show up in my methodical way and I bring balance to things because I think Mr. M and Mr. T share those things they love very deeply and in huge waves.

Jay [00:32:00]:
And I'm a little bit different, but they still like me.

Mr. T [00:32:05]:
We don't like you. We love you. Jay. I cannot say how incredibly happy I am that you and Mr. M found one another because you've become my family too. So I am utterly grateful that you came into Mr. M's life for him and that your kids came into his life and you came into my life and your kids came into my life.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:35]:
It's beautiful. Mr. M, let me dry the tears.

Jay [00:32:41]:
Oh my God.

G-Rex [00:32:44]:
Where did you go?

Dirty Skittles [00:32:45]:
Oh, I mean, I'm here. I'm happy you can't see me because my eyes got watery through. That nice.

Mr M [00:32:50]:
Whatever.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:52]:
I'm hoping that you can. Yeah, well, I think we'll be fine.

Mr. T [00:32:55]:
Right.

Dirty Skittles [00:33:00]:
Mr. Adam?

Mr M [00:33:02]:
Well, I want to interject one.

Mr. T [00:33:04]:
Of course.

Mr M [00:33:05]:
Go for it. So it was one of Jay's kids birthdays yesterday and on Thursday we had my parents over for dinner and Mr. T was supposed to join us. Unfortunately, she was not able to due to extending the circumstances. And I don't think I told you this, Mr. T. Yeah, you were having some car. You know, my parents show up and he's like, oh, is going to be here? And I'm like, you mean back? You know, mr.

Mr M [00:33:43]:
T wasn't able to join us because she was having some car trouble, some insignificant circumstances. And Bertzo boy looks over at me, my parents had shown up, is like, oh, is Mr. T going to join us? It seemed genuinely disappointed when I said unfortunately, that she was not going to be able to join us for his birthday. So I don't know if that is indicative of how he feels about everything. I think maybe he was just wondering what's going on. But I do think that Mr. T has definitely become a part of the kids'lives in a very positive way.

Jay [00:34:30]:
Cool.

Dirty Skittles [00:34:31]:
Mr. M, what have you learned, what's been the biggest lesson you've learned through this?

Mr M [00:34:39]:
Being okay with change? Knowing that change is always constant. Listening to yourself, listening to those around you, hearing people when they say that they have needs, listening to your own.

Mr. T [00:34:52]:
Needs.

Mr M [00:34:55]:
And then understanding when you can't meet those needs. Right. Understanding that there is a limitation that you have for yourself and that if you can't be there and you can't meet that need, then that's okay. As long as you can communicate.

Dirty Skittles [00:35:11]:
That love that G. Rex, any last questions.

G-Rex [00:35:14]:
From no, I like I said, thank you so much for sharing your stories, Jay. I'm really proud of just I think that you just came out of your shell and you've introduced your kids to different lifestyles and you're opening their horizons and their eyes and being okay with that because not all parents are like that. And I think your kids are really fortunate in being able to do that and have those experiences because when I was probably their age, I didn't have those experiences. So to me, it's heartwarming for me. I'm 60 years old and been out for a really long time.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:08]:
Any advice for Mr. T as she is in the beginning of her journey?

G-Rex [00:36:14]:
Yeah, my advice for Mr. T is going to be just keep practicing self love, self care, take care of your needs. You're going to find somebody that'll be the one. Don't tell me how it happens because it just happened for me. My wife and I met online. Right. Like, we met on an AOL chat room.

Mr M [00:36:43]:
Funniest thing ever, that's dating yourself.

G-Rex [00:36:47]:
All right, listen, Mr. M, did I did I ask for your input?

Mr M [00:36:50]:
I don't think I did.

G-Rex [00:36:53]:
Question, because I'm getting back to you in like two minutes. But Mr. T, I just want you to make sure you're taking care of yourself and be kind to yourself. That's the most important thing is be kind. We all go through this shit trying to identify what we want, what we need, and looking for that happiness. And you have a family in Mr. T and J and use them as a support system. I'm really proud of you.

G-Rex [00:37:29]:
Like I said, it would be hard for me to come out and have to start dating now because it's a way different world. So be kind to yourself. I love you. You'll be good. I'm telling you, you can call me anytime. I have crazy ass stories to tell you.

Jay [00:37:47]:
That do not need to be.

G-Rex [00:37:49]:
On the Internet anywhere because when I was growing up, we didn't have. Phones. Thank God. And finally, Mr. M, thank you for being so gracious sharing your story. Not everybody feels comfortable sharing that. And I'm just so proud of you. You truly all are a baller, and you are such a great guy.

G-Rex [00:38:18]:
And like I said, your episode, your two episodes I've never gotten so many fucking texts about your two episodes. The whole Cliffhanger thing, I got really shitty texts from people. They're like, what the fuck is this?

Dirty Skittles [00:38:36]:
You know what's crazy?

G-Rex [00:38:38]:
You're going to have to wait.

Dirty Skittles [00:38:39]:
This episode will also be a two parter, so I'm very curious to see what Bizzle's Cliffhanger is going to be because people are going to be so fucking pissed. Are you fucking kidding me? Not again.

Mr M [00:38:50]:
Why do you do this to us? Right?

G-Rex [00:38:56]:
Just, like, as a closing note, we hit a huge milestone today. We just hit 75,000 downloads on our.

Mr. T [00:39:05]:
Amazing congrats thank you guys podcast with everyone. So it's amazing.

Jay [00:39:12]:
I love it.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:13]:
Thank you.

G-Rex [00:39:14]:
We went live on February 14, and never in a million years did I think that we would have the success that we did do. And I appreciate Dirty Skittles and Bizzle and all our amazing guests. We can't do this without you guys and your support the day we hit 100,000. I'm probably going to have to take a moment.

Mr. T [00:39:39]:
Well, thank you so much for having us. This was amazing. It was definitely good to talk it out with people that I know, with hearing their side and what they went through as well.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:54]:
I feel like we need to do, like, a check in with you later and just see where your journey progresses. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.

Mr M [00:40:25]:
It.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:34]:
Do you want to tell the people out there the kind of person you're looking for? Should we make this a dating show?

Mr. T [00:40:40]:
Can we have a dating.

G-Rex [00:40:45]:
Snap?

Mr. T [00:40:47]:
Oh, my God. Financially stable? Yes. Doesn't have to be emotionally stable because clearly, you know, as Mr. T is.

Mr M [00:41:01]:
Literally pacing my house, I can see her. She is literally manic pacing the house right now.

Mr. T [00:41:09]:
I told you, I'm in mid manic mode right now. Give me a break.

Mr M [00:41:14]:
I would be doing the same if I wasn't, like, tied to I'm not tied to the chair, but if I wasn't in this room, confined to this room.

Dirty Skittles [00:41:21]:
Should we ask Mr. M and J what they would want for you for your significant other?

Mr. T [00:41:26]:
Absolutely. Please do. Because they have a better judge of character than I do, clearly. Mr. MJ.

Mr M [00:41:33]:
Jay, you go first.

Mr. T [00:41:34]:
Jay, go first.

Jay [00:41:37]:
Oh, man. I don't know. I'm honestly happy to see Mr. T in this solo phase. I'm not wishing a partner.

Mr. T [00:41:59]:
She knows the drama.

Mr M [00:42:00]:
We've had a lot of drama.

Mr. T [00:42:02]:
That's true.

Mr M [00:42:05]:
A lot of drama.

Jay [00:42:06]:
Well, the solo time for me was so important, and I learned so much about myself in the alone time that I wish that for everybody. I wish that same kind of peace and self awareness for any person that could even if you find pockets of it in your own life, if you're already in a relationship, I wish alone time for everyone, because it is that.

Mr. T [00:42:49]:
Agreed.

Jay [00:42:50]:
It's that important to me.

Mr. T [00:42:55]:
I love that.

Jay [00:42:58]:
I'm not necessarily wishing for a relationship because she does such a good job of finding relationships all the time.

Mr. T [00:43:12]:
See, that's the thing, is, I never have a problem finding a relationship. They just always turn out terribly.

Dirty Skittles [00:43:19]:
Got it.

Mr. T [00:43:20]:
So that's my problem, is picking the wrong person, I think. But I am learning how to hopefully find the right person for me. But I do want to be alone. Seriously.

Mr M [00:43:31]:
Yeah. Mr. T. I am enjoying this phase of your life as well. I am, because when you told me that you split from the last partner, I was like, okay. And you gave me every reason why, and you were able to enumerate exactly why. I was like, hey, I'm really proud of you for taking the stand for yourself. You had been put into a corner, basically, on a lot of things, and you were just like, no, not for me.

Mr M [00:44:06]:
Peace out. I'm done.

Mr. T [00:44:07]:
Yeah. I wasn't willing to go over my boundaries.

Mr M [00:44:10]:
Right? I am so proud of that. That's fucking huge. That being said, when you do find a partner, what I wish for you is someone who is kind. That is it just kindness, love that.

Mr. T [00:44:28]:
I appreciate that. I definitely need that. For sure.

Mr M [00:44:34]:
They could be dumb.

Dirty Skittles [00:44:36]:
They better be fucking kind.

Mr M [00:44:40]:
But as long as they're kind and understanding, right? No, as long as they're kind and understanding, then that is good. That is a good place to start.

Jay [00:44:51]:
I know what you should look.

Mr. T [00:44:54]:
Me. Tell me give me my jay. Jay.

Jay [00:44:58]:
Sorry.

Mr. T [00:44:59]:
Jay.

Jay [00:44:59]:
Give me my list.

Mr. T [00:45:00]:
Give me my list of what should be on it.

Jay [00:45:02]:
You need somebody in a hot dog costume in their profile.

Mr. T [00:45:07]:
I literally was going to bring that up earlier when Mr. M was talking about how the two of us met. Him met Mr. M. I wanted to be like that's.

Mr M [00:45:17]:
What?

Mr. T [00:45:17]:
It's the hot definition. I hope that you need to include this in the this needs to be included in the pod.

Mr M [00:45:26]:
Yeah, like in show notes, because Bizzle's the one that took that photo, by the way.

Jay [00:45:30]:
Yep.

Dirty Skittles [00:45:30]:
I remember. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.