An Inspiring Journey Towards Sobriety with Marci with Guest Marci Hopkins

G-Rex [00:00:00]:
Hey, Marcy.

Marci [00:00:02]:
I'm in Colorado, and I didn't even I'm so sorry.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:07]:
Enough said. I'm in Colorado. Understood. No.

Marci [00:00:10]:
I'm just

G-Rex [00:00:10]:
kidding. It's all good. It's all good. Oh

Marci [00:00:13]:
my gosh.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:14]:
What are you doing in Colorado?

Marci [00:00:16]:
My husband is having a work client. We just we're snowmobiling.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:23]:
Oh, that's fine.

Marci [00:00:24]:
Just trying to make, Just having a good time with family, and they have a bunch of partnerships, and they just brought us all together here at Beavercreek. That's cool.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:33]:
I mean, it's so nice.

Marci [00:00:34]:
Yeah. So Love it. Nice to be here.

G-Rex [00:00:37]:
That's so awesome. Yeah. Where are you guys? I was born and raised in Colorado. And so I spent a really good portion of my life in, Beavercreek, that whole area. I've been skiing since I was, like, 3 years old. So but now I now I live in upstate New York, and I love it.

Marci [00:00:54]:
My son, was at Hamilton in Clinton for a little while.

G-Rex [00:00:58]:
Yeah. And, Dirty Skittles is in, Georgia.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:03]:
Yeah. I'm in Marietta, Georgia, but I was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Marci [00:01:06]:
That's so sad. Remember much

Dirty Skittles [00:01:08]:
of it, though, except for the snow.

Marci [00:01:11]:
Lots of snow. Lots of snow. Thank you guys so much for having me.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:34]:
I'm ready whenever y'all are.

G-Rex [00:01:36]:
Yeah. We're good. So, Skittles, you want me to do the intro? You ready?

Dirty Skittles [00:01:41]:
Yeah. Go for it. Ready? Ready to stretch.

G-Rex [00:01:44]:
3, 2, 1. Welcome back to another episode of shit that goes on on our heads. Today, we have an amazing guest, Marcy. Marcy, welcome. And my amazing cohost, dirty skittles.

Marci [00:01:58]:
Welcome, Marcy. Thank you. It was so great to be on. Thank you for having me.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:04]:
Yeah. You're welcome. I mean, thanks for joining us. I'm excited to hear your story.

G-Rex [00:02:08]:
Yeah. Me too.

Marci [00:02:09]:
Oh goodness. Yeah. Yeah. It's caught by a story.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:14]:
So for our listeners, Marcy, what do you wanna share with them about what makes you you?

Marci [00:02:19]:
Oh, wow. Well, there's a lot of different chapters that have happened in my life. Which chapter do you wanna hear about?

Dirty Skittles [00:02:27]:
Why don't we start with the biggest lesson you've learned? What was that chapter like?

Marci [00:02:32]:
The biggest lesson I've learned is that I can love myself. I can do in this life what it is that I truly dream about, and I can pursue a journey of of joy in helping others, and that is what really fills my soul today. And I had a so much self doubt and hated myself for so many years because of circumstances that happened to me that were not my fault. But it is what, shaped me and created a young person that was just trying to survive and making a lot of bad decisions. And then I was basically through life feeling that I was just surviving and coping. But today, I'm I'm really living, and that's what I'm happy with. I'm I'm happy today.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:36]:
That that resonates. I can relate to that a lot. And for me, it took 41 years to get to a place where so I can put myself first

Marci [00:03:48]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:49]:
And love myself first. So it sounds like there was a time where you weren't sure that you were gonna be able to be where you are today. Mhmm. Are you comfortable sharing kind of how

Marci [00:03:59]:
Oh, yeah. I was

G-Rex [00:04:00]:
or what the

Marci [00:04:00]:
I mean, I'm very open with my story. Just so you know, I have a book out that is, you know, all about my story called chaos to clarity. And and because of what I do today, I share my my story very openly to try to help other people. But, really, when I was when I was young. You know, it's just like every other young person, full of love and joy and happiness. And I really loved everyone around me, and I just wanted to have fun and be a part of my family. But unfortunately, my mother had me very young. She had me right when she turned 19.

Marci [00:04:42]:
She always had a a drinking problem. Of course, that escalated and was a roller coaster ride through life and she actually ultimately died from it. But she had men in her life that were not great. And At 6 years old, her boyfriend beat me and I made a decision to live with my grandparents. At 6 years old, I had was given me the opportunity to to live with them and I had the choice, which is a huge choice as you can imagine making that Yeah. Decision at 6. While I am very grateful that I live with my grandparents during that time, those very formative years, my grandfather had a a raging temper. So it was difficult to feel safe, in the home.

Marci [00:05:29]:
But I did feel loved, and I was taught morals and and I went to church and those things that were were important during that time. And then my mother remarried when I was 12, and I was ecstatic. I thought life was now going to be that that fairytale life that I always wanted. And it was great for about 6 months until the sexual abuse started. So there was sexual abuse. There was my mother and my stepfather drinking. There was me sharing with my mother finally at a point that, this was happening to me and she didn't leave. That happened twice.

Marci [00:06:08]:
Now with that, as you can imagine, it was very dark time for me. I wanted to kill myself. I was in the 8th grade. I wanted to die. I was failing out of school. I lost all the dreams that I had in life, and then I found alcohol, and that was an escape for me. I managed to get through high school years, but relationships always in really volatile relationships. I realize now how much I was a part of those also being very reactive, having a lot of a very bad temper myself, you know, drinking and excess during that time.

Marci [00:06:49]:
And then once I got out of high school, I basically left my mom's house and never went back. And then I got into the party scene, the true party scene. That was, that time it was 87. And I started going to clubs and wow. Like, I felt so free. Like, wow. The biggest escape ever. Right? But still lost.

Marci [00:07:12]:
The lost. Like

G-Rex [00:07:14]:
Yeah.

Marci [00:07:14]:
You're supposed to go to college. You're supposed to have all these hopes and dreams. And I knew I was supposed to go to college and I I did attempt college multiple times. But always ended up not going to classes, not having any drive, not having direction and always finding people that I could party with. And that was my escape. My grandmother took me to a series of tests to find out where my interest line, and I found out I was a very creative soul. I ultimately landed at the Art Institute, for the music and video business. And that took me in a path of television.

Marci [00:07:57]:
I started at a company called Liberty Sports Communication. Fox and Liberty merged. And I kept raising through the ranks in work. I started off in operations. I ended up being the manager of, programming. I moved to Denver, then I moved to LA, and ultimately found my husband. And, You know, everything looked great. I ended up being the director of online promotions at FX and but all the while struggling, drinking and just never feeling I always had this idea of wanting to be loved and what I thought I deserved, But not knowing truly what that looked like, how to accept love, how to love myself, constantly feeling like no matter what I did in life, I that I was stupid.

Marci [00:08:50]:
I was never good enough. I I was always in relationships. I was really poor in relationships because I would say in relationships even if they were bad, trying to make them good. But once I felt that it was really at a place where I didn't think it was going to, continue, I would step out of the relationship because I wasn't going to allow that person to hurt me. So as you can see is is just this roller coaster of life that was just filled with self hate. The narrative in my head constantly, just playing a victim all the time, playing a victim. And once I got married and had children, I felt this love like I'd never felt before for my my children. Right? And Mhmm.

Marci [00:09:41]:
I knew that I didn't wanna be anything like my mother because she ultimately she let me down in every aspect. Right? I mean, my father was never there. He was a drug addict. I mean, you know, an alcoholic. So so many so many issues. And but, you know, it's so funny. It's just, like, everything always looked pretty darn good from the outside. I was able to build a life that looked pretty damn good, but on a very rocky foundation.

G-Rex [00:10:11]:
Yeah.

Marci [00:10:11]:
You know? Until I had until I had my final I guess it would be I've had I had a lot of maybe what you could call rock bottoms. But For me, this was my final rock bottom. I got a DUI. I was 44 and that's when I finally surrendered And it changed my life. Hardest thing I ever did, you know, quitting drinking when that's been your your your way to manage. Yeah. Your way to manage life. I mean, it's hard.

Marci [00:10:46]:
I wouldn't I'm 8 years sober today, not today, but

Dirty Skittles [00:10:51]:
yeah.

Marci [00:10:51]:
Yeah. October 4th was my 8 years. Been quite a journey.

Dirty Skittles [00:10:58]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's, I can relate to a lot of what you're sharing.

G-Rex [00:11:02]:
Mhmm.

Marci [00:11:02]:
And I

Dirty Skittles [00:11:03]:
one thing that stood out was as I was listening to you tell the story and you started talking about love, I totally, totally get it. I, myself, like, in my twenties, was my party era. Right? And Uh-huh. Trying to find something to filled that missing piece, right, like, that void that I had because childhood was pretty similar to what you shared. Mhmm. And I didn't know what that looked like. Mhmm. I saw it in movies

Marci [00:11:32]:
Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:11:34]:
Heard other people talk about it, but didn't really fully understand what love was, and so I would take anything that I got Yeah. Whether it was good or bad. Right?

Marci [00:11:42]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:11:43]:
But becoming a mom, why now I have a 6 year old upstairs, so I can't imagine making a decision like that at 6. But becoming a mother, I got it. I understood. Because I was like, oh, you. It was finally I felt it. You know?

Marci [00:11:57]:
You got

Dirty Skittles [00:11:58]:
this as well.

Marci [00:11:59]:
Yeah. But it was still like I had the love for my children.

G-Rex [00:12:05]:
But you didn't love yourself.

Marci [00:12:08]:
I didn't love myself, And I didn't know how to really love my husband, and I didn't really know I never thought he really loved me. Yeah. Yeah. Until the dick what you're drinking, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. So but there was nothing like that that love for a child, and that's why it made it so hard trying to understand how my mom did what she did. Yes.

Marci [00:12:36]:
Steam. Yeah. But That's not true. I'm sorry. But today, like, I've totally forgiven my mom because I realized just she was so sick, and I don't think she she herself didn't have self love. She didn't know how to take care of herself. I don't think she knew you know, a man used to validate me. And so to be with a man, she never thinks thought she could stand on her own 2 feet.

Marci [00:13:06]:
Right? So this is happening to you, Marcy. I can't leave because I don't know what to do, basically. You know? As crazy as it sounds like, she just didn't have the strength, I guess. I don't know. It's it's pretty heartbreaking.

Dirty Skittles [00:13:24]:
Yeah. Yeah. That's that's huge, though. That, to me, shows a little growth. Right? Because you're able to look at your parent as an individual and understand kind of the struggles that they were facing that you know? And almost taking yourself out of it and looking at them and their situation. How did you get there? Like, did you go through therapy to finally understand what that was?

Marci [00:13:46]:
Listen. I was in therapy most of my life. It. I don't like it only helps so much. Right?

Dirty Skittles [00:13:52]:
True. True.

Marci [00:13:55]:
It wasn't until I was actually so I'll tell you my first I this is not answering your question, but I will. I wanna I wanna tell you first how I felt the love because that will that will answer how I was able to then step out and be able to think about things in a different way. So the day that I decided to stop drinking, it was the next day after my DUI. Before that, I thought I was a victim. I thought I wanted out of my marriage. I I thought that everything was being done to me. So when I surrendered in that day and I said, I have a problem with alcohol, and I went downstairs And I told my husband I'm an alcoholic, and I need help in in tears. You know? I I was broken.

Marci [00:14:44]:
He embraced me. And it was like it was the 1st time I really felt the love that he had for me that he probably always had. Right. But it and it was like the weight of the world came off of my shoulders. Like, I felt like I don't have to lie anymore. I don't have to hate myself. I don't have to hate this man in front of me anymore. Like, I can really start I can start getting well.

Marci [00:15:11]:
And so what I did is I went to the 12 step program. I was just was like and now and I had tried it before, But this time I was like, I'm willing I am gonna do whatever I'm told. I'm not trying to drive this bus anymore. I am surrendering a 100% because what I'm doing is not work. So as I worked the 12 steps, which I really wish everyone could give themselves the gift of working those steps. So even in the first one, surrendering that you have a problem with alcohol, basically. Right? Surrendering, we have a problem with whatever our problems are because we all have something. But what I was able to start doing was really letting my higher power in.

Marci [00:16:03]:
I was really able to start recognizing how people hurt me, But how I played a role in those things also, how I was hurting others in that process. So maybe their Them hurting me was a reaction to what I was doing. Mhmm. Right? So the sexual abuse, of course, that's not something I did. But the relationships and what happened after that, I did have a lot of you know, a lot that I played in those in those relationships. So then as I just continued down those steps and started growing in my spirituality, started growing in gratitude, started rewiring my my brain, starting to become healthy because so many in any addiction, our body, our brains start to rewire itself because there's so much we keep getting those dopamine hits and our Our bodies really cannot tolerate it. So it starts, you know, rewiring itself so it can manage whatever damage we are doing to our bodies, and we're also with the toxins or whatever it is that we're doing and all those feel good chemicals that are in our bodies. We're not feeling those things in the way that we're supposed to.

Marci [00:17:30]:
As I was starting to heal, my My brain was clearing. My body was clearing. My soul was clearing. So I was able to truly see what was going on with me and what these generational cycles and that's another thing I talk about in my book, generational cycles. Like, What happens to our parents? What happens to their parents? What happens to their parents? All ends up affecting what happens to us. And so that's what Amen. Yeah. Yeah.

Marci [00:18:03]:
So and even if I can see my grandparents in a certain way, It doesn't mean that how they raised my mother didn't cause a lot of pain to mother. Right? Because I think I was trying to be the best of my my kids, but when I got sober, I really became a good parent. Right. And I keep evolving as a better person all the time, so I become a better parent all the time. So Yeah. I had to forgive to to let go of the power of the pain that I had from that. And it still hurts sometimes. I'm not gonna say it doesn't hurt because I'm so sad for that little girl that was me.

Marci [00:18:53]:
Yeah. Yeah. But my mom was broken. And I saw it through her life. And as much as I tried tried to help. She ultimately, you know, died of her addiction. Like, our addiction takes us in so many front ways, and we all manage our addiction differently. And I had no control over what happened to my mother even though I tried to help as much as I could.

Marci [00:19:21]:
And I had a bunch of guilt with that too. No. I was living this great life, and my mom's in, like, rehabs. You know? It's it's it's hard. Mhmm.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:33]:
Yeah. I can't imagine. Yeah. I can imagine. I get it, though. I mean, Yeah. You see a younger version of yourself, and that kind of ties into a question I thought in the beginning of you sharing your story that I wanted to ask, which is if you could see yourself as a younger version and have a conversation, what would what bit of hope would you give to your younger self? What would you say to to a younger version of yourself.

Marci [00:20:04]:
That you don't get what's happening right now, what you you have to go through what you're going through right now to live your best life 20 years from now.

G-Rex [00:20:18]:
Oh my god. The exact same conversation I had with myself Yeah. On Christmas Day of 2022. So on Christmas Day 2022, I had massive mental breakdown. You know? Thank God 988 picked up the phone. Thank God some guardian angel out there. Thank God my wife was home. Thank God for therapy.

G-Rex [00:20:40]:
But I I was so broken on the inside. On the side. Nobody could tell how broke that was, but on the inside, I was like, I hated myself. I just couldn't

Dirty Skittles [00:20:51]:
do it anymore.

G-Rex [00:20:51]:
And I'm a little bit older than the both of you, but you know what? My 8, you know, we were taught not to talk about mental health. Right? You shove that shit down as far as it can go Until you can't it has no place else to go. So Christmas Day 2022 is when that happened. You know? Here in upstate New York, we had, like, minus 20 degree weather. Cars didn't start. You know? It was just the apps absolute, like, Just the worst. Like, I hadn't I couldn't do it anymore, but there was that little glimmer of hope that maybe things do get better. And they did like the life I'm living now.

G-Rex [00:21:33]:
I couldn't imagine that because I had to go through all that other shit To get where I'm here now. And I mean, your story is a story of hope. Mhmm. And that's, you know, what I I hope that our our listeners can can gain from this is there is hope at that at the end of that tunnel, but you really gotta put the work in. It. Doesn't happen overnight.

Marci [00:21:56]:
That is the thing, and I'm so glad you said that because we can all share our stories. We can all help to educate and give resources. But you have to take the action, and you have to put the work in. And you know what? It's a daily thing. I have to do something daily to grow and set myself right, But it's worth it. That's the thing. Like, I jump around and act like a fool in silliness today because I'm so happy. Whereas, you know, before, I just would be, like, trying to be all perfect on the outside and just putting up every wall so nobody could get close to me.

Marci [00:22:49]:
But I don't have to do that today because you do have to put in the work, but there's so much joy and happiness when you do.

Dirty Skittles [00:22:59]:
Amen. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:23:00]:
A man. Like I would never, I could never imagine a life worth of rewards or just the pure joy that I have now. I mean, I can think a lot of what what has happened for me or 2 dirty Skittles. Like this. The podcast was never ever in the wheelhouse ever, ever. And it all started because that, like a couple of days after Christmas day, I had started calling her. She we we had worked together and we would talk about stuff that you just shouldn't talk about. Right? And we laughed about about a lot of stuff.

G-Rex [00:23:34]:
I'm like, oh, we should just record this. Uh-huh. And it was so helpful because to me, Laughter is my healer. Mhmm. And being able to share my journey. Right? So I share my journey from The day I started therapy, and I I still share it. So And one of the because I don't want people to feel lonely.

Marci [00:23:55]:
Exactly. And one of the things that I always say, and I hear you saying this, is that you heal through sharing your story. So if someone shares something with me and they'll say, that was the first time I've ever said that I've ever shared that with anyone. And I'm like, that's the start of your healing. And it's not like you have to do it like we're doing it or on my TV show or in a book or but sharing, getting it out of you,

G-Rex [00:24:28]:
and

Marci [00:24:28]:
start releasing it because, honestly, this stuff stays stuck at a cellular level.

G-Rex [00:24:35]:
Yeah.

Marci [00:24:36]:
And gotta start cleansing it out.

Dirty Skittles [00:24:40]:
Yeah. That was a huge lesson I learned in my therapy was that I didn't have to carry the weight anymore, that I could all go. Didn't have to come with me. So 1 1 question I wanted to ask is, since it does because I believe it you have to continue to work at it, what, do you do for yourself? Like, what what is working at it look like for you today?

Marci [00:25:04]:
So this is something I started doing early in my program, on the 12 step program, which is AA. I started every morning, I would start saying what I'm grateful for. I did guided meditations. There's one where you connect to God. It was a 15 minute meditation. I did that every morning. And it and it's not a type of meditation where it's any faith based, meditation. It's higher power universe, what whoever source whoever it is for you.

Marci [00:25:43]:
Because what it ultimately is, it's a meditation and I do it in different forms now. It's a meditation of connecting energetically. And it's truly, it's really a feeling of love that goes throughout your body. So it's not like looking at what we were taught when we were little in organized religion where God's in the sky and you're connecting, you know, to to this idea of that. We're all connected energetically. We're all supposed to be connected by love. And God, universe source, is the ultimate energetic loved source. Right? Though it was it's a meditation like that and taking yourself out of yourself to be able to connect that way.

Marci [00:26:38]:
So I would do that. Volunteering, helping others. Big big way to get out of yourself. So whether you're in the rooms and it's helping other people in the rooms, whether it's helping people in the community, whether it's helping, an organization that's important to you. And it's not really just about money. It's about it's really about taking the action of helping somebody else. And maybe it's just somebody in your family that needs help. But I think a lot of this stuff needs to step you need to step outside of your family to do the healing because there's you know, of course, there's really good relationships with people in your family, but I think it's good to get out of yourself and and what you're comfortable with to start helping others and and you grow from that.

Marci [00:27:29]:
I also try to evolve and learn in some way every day. Whether it's reading a chapter of a book, whether it's listening to a podcast, whether it's listening to for me. I like to listen to a lot of spiritual healers. I like to learn about the law of attraction and manifestations. Those all have come through my practice. I think it's really important to take care of your body as far as what you're putting into it, drinking enough water

G-Rex [00:27:58]:
Mhmm.

Marci [00:27:58]:
Getting enough rest, exercising. And I'm not talking about going out and doing a boot camp. I mean, it can be walking. You know? It's, you know, it's just these are all things that are they're healthy. They're good for you. They're they fill you and connect you, your body, your mind, and your soul. And it's and that's really what it's about, connecting those 3 things, connecting to others and connecting to your higher source. And the biggest thing is living in gratitude and we can have the worst stuff going on.

Marci [00:28:33]:
But you know when people say, oh, well, that's a silver lining. But if you find Something just the littlest thing that's good. If you feel like everything's going crappy in your life, Do you have a roof over your head? Are you able to put food in your mouth? Do you have a a bed to sleep in? Do you have eyeglasses to put on when you can't see? Right? Do you have moisturizer to put on your face? Like, these are things that are small, but it's the small things that build up and really matter. Living in that mindset of gratitude is life changing. So start small. Yeah. Start small, And it will evolve evolve. I I remember in the very beginning, I had, like, this little, gratitude box and And then I had a gratitude jar and I would write them down on a little piece of paper.

Marci [00:29:26]:
And at the end of the year or if I was feeling down, I'd go and read them. You know, it's these little things you can do for yourself.

G-Rex [00:29:34]:
It is. And Yeah. I I love that you're you're practicing a lot of self love and self care. Right? And maybe setting up some different boundaries. I mean, like, for me, that was my problem. I was so busy taking care of everybody else. I wasn't taking care of myself. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:29:51]:
Happens when you're an empath. Yeah. But You know, I set up some serious boundaries. I'm gonna tell you the last year Mhmm. Has probably been the best year of my life. Yeah. And I just continue to grow. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:30:05]:
I'm very humble, and a lot of things are a little surreal for for me right now. Yeah. But I'm so grateful.

Marci [00:30:13]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:30:13]:
I'm grateful for That power that was whispering in my ear Mhmm. And said, things will be better, and they are. And we we laugh all the time about crap that happens to me. Right? Like, in what world did this happen? Happened in mine. Don't know why, but it did. But I just, I love your story and I, I,

Marci [00:30:38]:
yeah,

G-Rex [00:30:40]:
Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable and helping others. Right? And just be kind. Can can everybody just be kind? Please just be kind. It's not that

Marci [00:30:52]:
I gotta tell you. It's so it's so much about being kind.

G-Rex [00:30:55]:
To yourself first

Marci [00:30:57]:
and then to others.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:58]:
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's huge. So what's next for you?

Marci [00:31:04]:
Oh, gosh. So I just started writing another book. I literally, this morning, was sitting in the hotel room. And, again, everything that I've done, starting my talk show, writing my first book, Everything I've done has all been guided. Right? Guided by my higher power, Gretchen talking those whispers, listening, allowing yourself to hear, listen, and eventually having the, going through the fear and starting. Right? Just starting. Starting small. Because if you think about everything and the the grandiose picture, You're never gonna start.

Marci [00:31:58]:
So somebody, like, a couple of times has come up about another book and I'm like, I am not writing another book. This is crazy. Right? This has been so much work for the 1st book. Right? And, what I tell you. So many rewards coming from the book, and I'm still it I launched it last year. I released it last year, and I got some beautiful things that are coming down the pike. And, But I just got a journal from the girl that does my makeup for my show, and she's she gave it to me as my Christmas gift just a few days ago, and dragonflies are a big part of my story. And so it's a journal with a dragonfly on the on the front.

Marci [00:32:41]:
And I said, oh, is this for me to journal, which I don't journal. But I've always felt like it would be a good thing to do And and and it is. Just get things out of you. Right? I think I just spurred everything out so I have to write it down. She goes, no. It's for your next book. And I'm like and she I said, you know, it's so funny that you say that because it's come on so strong because I kept asking myself, god. Like, what is my next book? I I don't know.

Marci [00:33:12]:
What do I what do I need what do I need to share? What do people need to hear? Because it's not for me. It's for other people. Right? And it that came on so strong that I need to write about the 1st 30 days sobriety. Oh. So I was just starting to talk about the surrendering to get to the 1st 30 days. And then what happens those 30 days? So I think that might be my next one. So I'm gonna I'm gonna keep pushing chaos to clarity and that's the chaos of my life and then being able to see the clarity in my life through my healing, my trauma, my alcoholism, my addiction to bad relationships, the way I was harming myself, And then putting down the drink, what I went through and how I got sober and then the beauty of life today And how that happened for me, the steps I've taken, I have a lot of action items in there, a lot of education in there to help people. And And what I love a lot is that a lot of people tell me, like, they may not have an alcohol problem, but the book helps them because it's a lot about mindset.

Marci [00:34:29]:
Right. It's all about mindset. At the end of the day, we all have to heal from something. We're all hurting ourselves because we're trying to heal from something. So there's that. And my show, like, wake up with Marcy, I just brought on a a cohost, wake up with Marcy and Hillary. And, just really trying to grow the show as much as I possibly can to reach as many people as I possibly can. Hopefully go national.

Marci [00:34:57]:
Now that we're going streaming, maybe get on a great streaming platform. Right? Right. Right. So Right. You know? Just trying to keep plugging along, and I I will never I will never stop being humble, and I will never stop giving up the reason that I do this, and it's the core about helping people. I don't care how many acolyte accolades I get, how many awards, whatever it is. It is about helping people, and God has put me on this path to help people. And that's what I'm doing.

Marci [00:35:30]:
Even as hard as I love this. Can be so damn hard sometimes.

G-Rex [00:35:34]:
No. It

Marci [00:35:34]:
is. I still have shitty kids. Tells me that I I wanna get

G-Rex [00:35:41]:
But,

Marci [00:35:42]:
yeah. And then I have the next day.

G-Rex [00:35:45]:
I still have it.

Dirty Skittles [00:35:47]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:35:48]:
I I still have shit in my head. Like, Thursday, so I still get depressed. But now I have, like, better tools. Right?

Marci [00:35:53]:
I have some stuff

G-Rex [00:35:54]:
to help me through it.

Marci [00:35:56]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:35:56]:
And I have my best friend. Right? I get to do a podcast with, and we get to laugh about stuff that we probably shouldn't laugh about, but, you know, whatever. Hindsight is 2020. But it's with every episode we we record, it heals me just a little bit more. Right? And Very humbling, and I I love to work. Mhmm. And, I already have your book. Oh, thank you.

Marci [00:36:20]:
This morning. Thank you.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:23]:
Why I need to add it. I'm gonna go add it when we're not I don't wanna be rude and be like, oh.

G-Rex [00:36:28]:
Yeah. Don't go to Amazon right now. Okay? Okay. But I, you know, I I follow you on Instagram and I I read your stories and you inspire me. Aww.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:39]:
Thank you. To just

G-Rex [00:36:40]:
be be a better person. And Yeah. You know? It's okay that, like, not be okay. She did. It really is.

Marci [00:36:48]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:36:48]:
But, like, if you're not okay, at least fine. Some way to find your voice or find your footing because there is somebody out there willing to talk to you. There really is.

Marci [00:36:59]:
There's always somebody there

G-Rex [00:37:00]:
dealt you mhmm. Yeah. That was my regret is that at the time, all the shit was going down. I couldn't find my voice or my my funny because I didn't know how to approach that. Yeah. Because I'd never felt like that before.

Marci [00:37:14]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:37:15]:
But I will never ever, ever let myself get to that point again. Ever it was terrifying.

Marci [00:37:20]:
Terrifying. Can I ask you this, though? Because when I was in 8th grade and I wanted to end my life, and then I got to the other side of it. I always held on to that, that no matter how bad things are, It's always going to get better. Always. And I don't have to hurt myself. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:37:43]:
And it may not be the dream that you had for yourself in the beginning, but you're out there living. Right. And you're bringing joy to somebody. Yeah. Maybe even to yourself, but it's totally worth living And, and living it, living in the moment. That's that is my, my mantra for, like, the last 6 months Live in the moment.

Marci [00:38:06]:
That is another thing.

G-Rex [00:38:07]:
You never know till you just don't know what's gonna happen.

Marci [00:38:11]:
I try to stay that is another thing I learned that I try to do every day too. Stay present in the moment. Stop thinking about what happened in your past and stay stuck in that or worry about the future that you have no control of. The only thing we have control of is where we are today and then the moment that we have. And I love that you spoke about the tools because I just recently was going through something with someone. And I was taking it in such a, oh, a negative way. Right? And before I would've drank over it and I would've that person's wronging me, and I woulda cut them out of my life. But I was able to be like, how am I really taking this? Am I is that really what's happening because I know how I can perceive things sometimes.

Marci [00:39:05]:
And we all perceive things differently. Right? We could all hear a story, And we walk away with a different takeaway. We all heard it differently. Right? So, yeah, it's pretty powerful, and I love love talking with you guys.

Dirty Skittles [00:39:24]:
You Yeah.

G-Rex [00:39:25]:
You've been you've been awesome. And, If you wanna listen to a really good episode, we did a episode with our friend, Liz. She passed away from breast cancer, but her episode is so powerful. And it's all about living in the moment, not taking life for the granted. And that. That episode changed my life. Mhmm. Again, in all the good ways.

G-Rex [00:39:49]:
And I think in some Former fashion, her hand is guiding us on our podcast journey. Aw. But in a but in such a good way. Right? She was our biggest supporter. And, Marcy, I love you. I love that you shared

Dirty Skittles [00:40:04]:
Thank you, Marcy. Everything.

G-Rex [00:40:05]:
The host.

Marci [00:40:06]:
Thank you. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:40:07]:
This has been amazing. I appreciate you being vulnerable with us and sharing with us and our listeners.

Marci [00:40:12]:
Anytime. Thank you so so much.

G-Rex [00:40:14]:
I do have 1 question. Where can our listeners find out more information about you? Just beside besides your book.

Marci [00:40:21]:
If you go to wake up with marcy.com, you will find information about my show, and I am always on Instagram. I and and Facebook. I'm always trying to give a little bit of light. So that is wake up with Marcy. If it has the underscores, do you have to say that? Wake wake underscore up underscore Marcy under I don't know. Like You don't

Dirty Skittles [00:40:48]:
have to. We'll put it in the show notes.

Marci [00:40:50]:
Show notes. Yeah. We'll make it all. My account. And then I had to get a new account. I had to do these underscores. So, honestly, if you go and look up wake up with Marcy or Marcy Hopkins, you can find me. I'm here if you wanna DM me, if you have any questions, I'm here.

G-Rex [00:41:08]:
That is so awesome.

Dirty Skittles [00:41:10]:
Thank you, Marcy. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.